"you have such a pretty face"

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  • tif83
    tif83 Posts: 85 Member
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    How about this one:

    "Oh, but you could be so pretty if you lost weight!"

    :/ gee... thanks...

    YES- *exactly* how i feel when i hear this. i hate it :/
  • PaulFromEssex
    PaulFromEssex Posts: 245
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    Take it as a compliment.

    You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.

    Yes, this! I'm thin and would love to be told I have a pretty face. Never happens.

    Well it has now ... You have a pretty face :wink:
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    I love hearing this because when I get to goal I will have a pretty face and a hot body. Score. :smile:
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
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    I've pretty much stopped giving compliments to women. Because they have been twisted around too many damn times that I might as just well insult them.

    I think you're pretty.... No you don't you think I'm fat.

    WTF
  • tif83
    tif83 Posts: 85 Member
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    some people got a little fired up over this... didn't expect that.

    it is the unspoken "BUT...." that bothers me. And when "you have such a pretty face" comes from a guy that you've just started talking to (and like), yah, i heard a "BUT"..... i don't think i'm overly sensitive for being a little bothered by this. i'm not sitting here crying about it, it bothered me and i posted. i was using it as an example of something that motivates me to keep going, working toward my goal. and yes, i suppose my self esteem could use some improvement, but i also tend to think i'm more realistic, not just down on myself. i realize my shortcomings. i don't necessarily find that as negative. but, valid point...

    anyway, i don't necessarily think it was said with malice, but it did hurt. it always hurts.

    on another note-- i would like to say thank you for all the wonderful things people said tho- they were so wonderful to hear and i'm truly appreciative!
  • justgowithit17
    justgowithit17 Posts: 1,392 Member
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    if someone told me i had a pretty face i would take it as a compliment...
  • diadojikohei
    diadojikohei Posts: 732 Member
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    Take it as a compliment.

    You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.

    Yes, this! I'm thin and would love to be told I have a pretty face. Never happens.
    I used to be very thin and I was always told ''You have a great *kitten*'
    What? Is that supposed to make me feel good?!
    Even on my wedding day the best I got was, ''Your dress looks lovely'' My husband said 'Your nails look nice'!!

    Just accept it as a complement, lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!
  • tricelive
    tricelive Posts: 93 Member
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    I hated that or guys who try to talk to you and start out with Big Sexy or you're pretty to be a big girl. However it is a compliment like someone said u can lose weight but u cannot lose an ugly grill.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    , lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!

    No. Let's not go there, k? Body shaming is body shaming, regardless if you're talking about a skinny, fit, or fat person.
  • FightTheFrump
    FightTheFrump Posts: 54 Member
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    , lots of guys prefer women with a 'bit of meat' on them!!

    No. Let's not go there, k? Body shaming is body shaming, regardless if you're talking about a skinny, fit, or fat person.

    True.
  • sashastackhouse
    sashastackhouse Posts: 51 Member
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    OMG you are freaking tall!

    yeah I think I'd rather hear

    "you have a pretty face"


    the former: you're a freak
    the latter: you are beautiful

    hmmmm.....

    Haha! This! I live in Japan and as a 5'10" female, I get this ALL. THE. TIME.

    But for the OP, I understand if you have problems taking compliments. But I feel that (most) people wouldn't go out of their way to say it if they meant it as an insult. Just like when I hear "Wow you are so tall" or "You have such pretty hair", I don't think it detracts from my overall looks. I just say thank you and go about my tall, pretty-haired day :)
  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    some people got a little fired up over this... didn't expect that.

    it is the unspoken "BUT...." that bothers me. And when "you have such a pretty face" comes from a guy that you've just started talking to (and like), yah, i heard a "BUT"..... i don't think i'm overly sensitive for being a little bothered by this. i'm not sitting here crying about it, it bothered me and i posted. i was using it as an example of something that motivates me to keep going, working toward my goal. and yes, i suppose my self esteem could use some improvement, but i also tend to think i'm more realistic, not just down on myself. i realize my shortcomings. i don't necessarily find that as negative. but, valid point...

    anyway, i don't necessarily think it was said with malice, but it did hurt. it always hurts.

    on another note-- i would like to say thank you for all the wonderful things people said tho- they were so wonderful to hear and i'm truly appreciative!

    It's not realistic to think there's always an "unspoken but" though. That's the thing; you said you weren't even sure the compliment was told with malice, but it still hurt.

    That sounds like you know they intended it as a positive compliment, but added on the "but" internally.

    If it "always hurts," that's a signal that you might be viewing more shortcomings of yourself then there are. I used to be the, "I'm just being real; I'm bla bla bla," but I *wasn't*. I had a skewed perspective of myself, I perceived things around me incorrectly, etc.
  • MissDeAnn
    MissDeAnn Posts: 47 Member
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    Take it as a compliment.

    You can fix a body but you can't fix a face.

    Never looked at it that way...Agreed.
  • Pamko57
    Pamko57 Posts: 182
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    I got told that a lot when I was very heavy. It didn't really irritate me or hurt my feelings, but those were times when I was pretty numb. (During my second marriage.)

    Once my ex's uncle, who is long since deceased, told me that it was a shame I was so fat, because I had a pretty face and would be good looking if I were thinner. I said, "yeah? Well. I can lose weight, but you're ugly and mean, and there's no fixing that."

    He told on me. My mother-in-law and husband were up in arms that I was so rude her brother. But hey. Whatever.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    knife.to.the.chest.

    just got told this and reminded why i keep going to the gym. this is what keeps me going. i NEVER want to hear that again. :(

    Heard this 1 billion times. Not as bad as "you'd be as pretty as your sister if you lost weight"
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)

    You have a pretty face!
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    LOL at least you got a compliment a stupid one I agree. I guess my ugly fat face matches my ugly fat body.
  • MeIShouldB
    MeIShouldB Posts: 578 Member
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    amen!
  • sashastackhouse
    sashastackhouse Posts: 51 Member
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    I wish people told me I have a pretty face. (never gonna happen)

    You have a very pretty face :)

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