Selfish-ness

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Replies

  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    Thanks for the invite, but I've already chosen Canada. I'll get better health care.

    tumblr_m632v5qHbH1rqfhi2o1_400.gif
  • dschipman
    dschipman Posts: 14 Member
    :smokin:
  • Siekobilly
    Siekobilly Posts: 401 Member
    canada-719318.png
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
    What do you consider selfish behavior? How do you differentiate between selfishness vs. narcissist? Conceited vs confident.?

    I ask because I know of someone who is all the above, in my eyes. This person is an important person in my life but only seems to care about herself. The type that only reaches out to friends/family when something is needed. There's no initiation on her part to just say hi and see how others are doing; only responds when the other party reaches out to them first.

    Your problems are nothing compared to hers. Put yourself in her shoes and see what she has to do (single mother). It's been like this for many years and it gets to a point where it's exhausting. I finally said "I am going to evict the people that live rent free in my mind and my life" and focus on myself. Am I being selfish?

    Just a point to ponder and get your feedback.
    Why do you need feedback? I find it odd to need feedback on what you are, since you know yourself better than anyone. Just wondering.

    In any case since you asked, no you are not being selfish, you are being sensible. It is sensible to take negativity out of your life, you said it yourself she is exhausting, why would you keep a person as a friend in your life (why would anybody?) that needs constant reassurance, and care? Especially when you admit yourself it isn't a mutual respect, it's just her needing constantly, and you feeding into her "woe is me" attitude.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    People who don't want to get married.
    People who don't want to have kids.
    People who don't want to beleive Christianity.

    Stuff like that.

    Married people are the most selfish people I know. Along with people that reproduce. They're always clogging up my very sacred facebook page with photos of their silly naked babies and wedding rings. News flash folks . . . nobody gives a sh@t.

    I'm not touching Christianity with a ten foot pole.
  • imfivebyfive
    imfivebyfive Posts: 104
    “I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”

    - Gestalt prayer
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    People who don't want to get married.
    People who don't want to have kids.
    People who don't want to beleive Christianity.

    Stuff like that.

    Married people are the most selfish people I know. Along with people that reproduce. They're always clogging up my very sacred facebook page with photos of their silly naked babies and wedding rings. News flash folks . . . nobody gives a sh@t.

    I'm not touching Christianity with a ten foot pole.

    Ugh, silly naked babies. Who can stand those.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    People who don't want to get married.
    People who don't want to have kids.
    People who don't want to beleive Christianity.

    Stuff like that.

    ??? SO priests and nuns are selfish people?
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    OP, I say you need to take care of you and the people you love. If there is time, energy and desire leftover, taking care of people you don't love and people who don't take care of you is optional, not required.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    “I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”

    - Gestalt prayer

    This worries me.

    It sounds like a VERY lazy and complacent attitude.

    Like a big log floating down stream . . .
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    I'm somewhat a cynic-therefore a minimalist. So not wanting kids, to get married (I'm actually open to it with the right woman), or attaching all sorts of unwanted baggage (such as organized religion) into my life works for me.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    If by selfish you mean that I feel I deserve the big O every time, yes I am selfish.
    Doesn't every woman deserve that?


    EVERYONE IS SELFISH. My life is about me. Your life is about you. Mother Theresa's life was about her. Doing things for others, even if they are "selfless" is a choice that YOU make. You make choices based on the desire to 'be happy' or 'be less unhappy'. In the end. So big Os all around I say....Big Os all around!!!:drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    The type that only reaches out to friends/family when something is needed. -- Selfish

    There's no initiation on her part to just say hi and see how others are doing; only responds when the other party reaches out to them first. -- Not selfish

    Your problems are nothing compared to hers. Put yourself in her shoes and see what she has to do (single mother). --Irritating as hell. BUT I have noticed that empathizing can be a slippery slope leading to one upping. They start out with "Oh, I understand because I deal with XYZ" and then it spirals into why their situation is worse, better, whatever, more than yours.

    Am I being selfish? -- It depends. If it's truly a one sided friendship and you're expending all the effort, then stop and if the relationship fizzles then it wasn't a good one. If she feels you pulling away and steps up or it turns out it wasn't quite as one sided as it felt, then maybe it is worth saving.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
    People who don't want to get married.
    People who don't want to have kids.
    People who don't want to beleive Christianity.

    Stuff like that.

    ??? SO priests and nuns are selfish people?

    I'm not on his side but that is pretty obviously not what he meant

    Well, not so obviously... clearly. :P
  • Cadori
    Cadori Posts: 4,810 Member
    If by selfish you mean that I feel I deserve the big O every time, yes I am selfish.

    And THIS!!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    “I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to live up to your expectations, and you are not in this world to live up to mine. You are you and I am I, and if by chance we find each other, then it is beautiful. If not, it can't be helped.”

    - Gestalt prayer

    This worries me.

    It sounds like a VERY lazy and complacent attitude.

    Like a big log floating down stream . . .

    Like a log. Perfect description, as it sounds very similar to not giving a *kitten*.
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
    I hate bein out of the loop...somebody fill me in on my feed.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    .
    .....

    I'm not touching Christianity with a ten foot pole.

    wise decision, my child.

    calvin+and+hobbes+god.jpg
  • zentha1384
    zentha1384 Posts: 323 Member
    People who don't want to get married.
    People who don't want to have kids.
    People who don't want to beleive Christianity.

    Stuff like that.

    I don't want kids because I think I would be a horrible mother. So what does that make me?
  • etoiles_argentees
    etoiles_argentees Posts: 2,827 Member
    http://youtu.be/1srvTTI1Wy8

    Listen!

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