Could I wear this dress to a friend's wedding?
Replies
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Some of the comments on here are another reason I won't ever have a real wedding...or if I do it will be a FUN, no snobby rules wedding. If the bride gets her panties in a twist over that dress clearly she isn't focused on the point of that day. To marry the man she loves. Not get all uppity over a dress. Ugh. Weddings are so lame. Vegas+Elvis+ no lame rules = real fun.
Oh and if tradition was really alive and well today in weddings why are 99.9% of the brides who wear white gowns not virgins? Just saying.
Because it's an urban legend that white was meant to represent purity? White was to signify wealth/the ability to wear a dress meant only for one day, and white to boot (which is, even now, an incredibly difficult color to maintain/wash).
Obviously, I and others know what the day is about... to get married to the person we love; but if a tradition exists and is upheld, why would someone want to wear a dress that would take attention away from BOTH the bride and groom? No one likes the heckler in the comedian's audience, or the aunt who talks at the top of her lungs about her medical issues. Why the need to focus attention on oneself at an event meant for another's attention?
It's sort of like going to a birthday party for someone else, but bringing a present for yourself. Sure, you can do that--but why would you, when it's not a day meant to highlight yourself?
This whole situation isn't something to fling at the bride as her being self-absorbed, not focused on the right thing, whatever. This is about the guest being aware of social norms, etiquette, and respect and choosing to go against them.0 -
If you wear a dress like that in white or off-white (bridal dress colors) people are going to think that you were actively trying to be disrespectful to the bride and the whole wedding. Sometimes people never forget things like that. You will make a bad impression. As others said, there is a whole rainbow of colors to choose from. A whole combination of attractive, beautiful styles that do not look like wedding gowns.
People really think stuff like that? I mean, really?
I'll be honest. If I was at a wedding and I saw someone wearing that dress I'd think "Wow. Gorgeous dress!" Not "OMG! I can't believe she wore that! How DARE she! I hope she's not seated at my table because I'll just b*tch slap the crap outta her for being so disrespectful!"
And if I were the bride I'd be thinking "Wow. What a gorgeous dress!"
I'm with you.
Maybe the bride is wearing blue(my grandmother did), or a huge frou-frou ball gown.
Arbitrary "dress codes" irritate me. Not judging people by the clothing that they wear is one lesson many people still need to learn.
I was only informing the gal of things I have heard other people say about weddings. Unless you know that the bride and her friends and family do not care, it is always best not to wear white to a western wedding (to avoid potential issues). In other countries a bride would never wear white, she wears bright colorful clothing because white is what a nun or a recent widow in mourning wears. I had two wedding ceremonies. At the first wedding my husband and I wore white and I just so happened to have another silvery white dress that I had worn to my college graduation that looked similar to this dress (only mine was tight and almost see through, so very revealing, it had been a gift) and I could change into it later to continue dancing and hanging around with my friends more comfortably (so at my wedding she would have been dressed almost identically to the bride). And at the second wedding celebration my husband and I were dressed colorfully and everyone else was wearing white. I was very young when I got married and the dress I got was very much on sale and was 8 sizes too big for me and a friend altered it to fit me, but it never really fit me perfectly, it was a bit too big. I would choose differently now that I have more fashion sense. But, it was pretty anyway.
But, I will always consider etiquette when going to another person's wedding (and I do not consider that to be an inconvenience to myself). I just thought everyone knew not to wear white to a wedding. I'm not saying I would judge people, but I am saying that people will. I personally do not remember what any of the guests were wearing to my wedding. If anyone wore white, I did not notice. The reality is that there are dress codes. You don't wear white to a wedding, you don't wear bright red to a funeral, you don't dress in a sexy slip dress when going to an office job or a parent/teacher conference. Because people "make a statement" with their clothing and people will wonder why you chose to make that statement.
And just for the record I would never think the things the first responder posted and I would never b!tch slap anyone for any reason other than as self-defense because they were attacking me. I honestly do not know where that came from or why her mind went there. B!tch slapping someone is way more disrespectful than the color of a dress. You definitely read a tone into my post that was not there.
The reality is that traditions and etiquette are alive and well, especially surrounding weddings. You may not agree with it (not "you" the person I quoted, but "you" the people she was responding to) but someone else's wedding isn't the place to be a rebel. White/ivory is a no-no. There are tons of beautiful dresses in the world and it's the bride's day, not the OP's.
Although, OP, if you think the bride won't mind then ask her. Just be aware that even if she says it's fine there will likely be people talking about it at the wedding.
OMG the comment about b*tch slapping was a JOKE. Chill out.
Don't worry about it, I was just joking also.0 -
Some of the comments on here are another reason I won't ever have a real wedding...or if I do it will be a FUN, no snobby rules wedding. If the bride gets her panties in a twist over that dress clearly she isn't focused on the point of that day. To marry the man she loves. Not get all uppity over a dress. Ugh. Weddings are so lame. Vegas+Elvis+ no lame rules = real fun.
Oh and if tradition was really alive and well today in weddings why are 99.9% of the brides who wear white gowns not virgins? Just saying.
Because it's an urban legend that white was meant to represent purity? White was to signify wealth/the ability to wear a dress meant only for one day, and white to boot (which is, even now, an incredibly difficult color to maintain/wash).
Obviously, I and others know what the day is about... to get married to the person we love; but if a tradition exists and is upheld, why would someone want to wear a dress that would take attention away from BOTH the bride and groom? No one likes the heckler in the comedian's audience, or the aunt who talks at the top of her lungs about her medical issues. Why the need to focus attention on oneself at an event meant for another's attention?
It's sort of like going to a birthday party for someone else, but bringing a present for yourself. Sure, you can do that--but why would you, when it's not a day meant to highlight yourself?
This whole situation isn't something to fling at the bride as her being self-absorbed, not focused on the right thing, whatever. This is about the guest being aware of social norms, etiquette, and respect and choosing to go against them.
Yeah, this. It's not that hard people, just don't wears white (just in case, ya know). It is a social convention and has nothing to do with what the bride and groom are focused on. No one even said the bride would care, just that someone would wonder what your intentions were. It's not even about tradition. It's just like you don't whip out a brush at the dinner table and start brushing your hair and causing pieces of your hair to land in everyone's food. Just basic social skills like that.0 -
Some of the comments on here are another reason I won't ever have a real wedding...or if I do it will be a FUN, no snobby rules wedding. If the bride gets her panties in a twist over that dress clearly she isn't focused on the point of that day. To marry the man she loves. Not get all uppity over a dress. Ugh. Weddings are so lame. Vegas+Elvis+ no lame rules = real fun.
Oh and if tradition was really alive and well today in weddings why are 99.9% of the brides who wear white gowns not virgins? Just saying.
This, this and more this!!0 -
Some of the comments on here are another reason I won't ever have a real wedding...or if I do it will be a FUN, no snobby rules wedding. If the bride gets her panties in a twist over that dress clearly she isn't focused on the point of that day. To marry the man she loves. Not get all uppity over a dress. Ugh. Weddings are so lame. Vegas+Elvis+ no lame rules = real fun.
Oh and if tradition was really alive and well today in weddings why are 99.9% of the brides who wear white gowns not virgins? Just saying.
Because it's an urban legend that white was meant to represent purity? White was to signify wealth/the ability to wear a dress meant only for one day, and white to boot (which is, even now, an incredibly difficult color to maintain/wash).
Obviously, I and others know what the day is about... to get married to the person we love; but if a tradition exists and is upheld, why would someone want to wear a dress that would take attention away from BOTH the bride and groom? No one likes the heckler in the comedian's audience, or the aunt who talks at the top of her lungs about her medical issues. Why the need to focus attention on oneself at an event meant for another's attention?
It's sort of like going to a birthday party for someone else, but bringing a present for yourself. Sure, you can do that--but why would you, when it's not a day meant to highlight yourself?
This whole situation isn't something to fling at the bride as her being self-absorbed, not focused on the right thing, whatever. This is about the guest being aware of social norms, etiquette, and respect and choosing to go against them.
Yeah, this. It's not that hard people, just don't wears white (just in case, ya know). It is a social convention and has nothing to do with what the bride and groom are focused on. No one even said the bride would care, just that someone would wonder what your intentions were. It's not even about tradition. It's just like you don't whip out a brush at the dinner table and start brushing your hair and causing pieces of your hair to land in everyone's food. Just basic social skills like that.
Yeah, and I'll be the first person to go against many social customs or norms I find ridiculous, but in terms of the "white" debate... I view it much more in terms of that "special day" etiquette (see also: birthday party, graduation party, whatever). The "respecting a special day for someone" doesn't seem out of place for someone to do. Someone is (generally) giving someone a dinner, entertainment, etc. because they want to share and celebrate one of the most important days of their life with him/her--why would one try to "one up" that with an outfit, or behavior, or anything, that would be nothing more than shifting attention away from the people of honor?0 -
The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. Before all the feedback I saw it as a gold dress with a little ivory.
And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.
I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.
I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.0 -
Some of the comments on here are another reason I won't ever have a real wedding...or if I do it will be a FUN, no snobby rules wedding. If the bride gets her panties in a twist over that dress clearly she isn't focused on the point of that day. To marry the man she loves. Not get all uppity over a dress. Ugh. Weddings are so lame. Vegas+Elvis+ no lame rules = real fun.
Oh and if tradition was really alive and well today in weddings why are 99.9% of the brides who wear white gowns not virgins? Just saying.
Because it's an urban legend that white was meant to represent purity? White was to signify wealth/the ability to wear a dress meant only for one day, and white to boot (which is, even now, an incredibly difficult color to maintain/wash).
Obviously, I and others know what the day is about... to get married to the person we love; but if a tradition exists and is upheld, why would someone want to wear a dress that would take attention away from BOTH the bride and groom? No one likes the heckler in the comedian's audience, or the aunt who talks at the top of her lungs about her medical issues. Why the need to focus attention on oneself at an event meant for another's attention?
It's sort of like going to a birthday party for someone else, but bringing a present for yourself. Sure, you can do that--but why would you, when it's not a day meant to highlight yourself?
This whole situation isn't something to fling at the bride as her being self-absorbed, not focused on the right thing, whatever. This is about the guest being aware of social norms, etiquette, and respect and choosing to go against them.
Yeah, this. It's not that hard people, just don't wears white (just in case, ya know). It is a social convention and has nothing to do with what the bride and groom are focused on. No one even said the bride would care, just that someone would wonder what your intentions were. It's not even about tradition. It's just like you don't whip out a brush at the dinner table and start brushing your hair and causing pieces of your hair to land in everyone's food. Just basic social skills like that.
Yeah, and I'll be the first person to go against many social customs or norms I find ridiculous, but in terms of the "white" debate... I view it much more in terms of that "special day" etiquette (see also: birthday party, graduation party, whatever). The "respecting a special day for someone" doesn't seem out of place for someone to do. Someone is (generally) giving someone a dinner, entertainment, etc. because they want to share and celebrate one of the most important days of their life with him/her--why would one try to "one up" that with an outfit, or behavior, or anything, that would be nothing more than shifting attention away from the people of honor?
Yeah, I agree with this and the other poster. There are many opportunities to rebel, but why do that at a friend's wedding? Or any celebration, trying to become the center of attention. And, like I said, you wouldn't show up at your friend's mom's funeral in a bright red dress, unless red was her favorite color and everyone was honoring her by wearing bright colors and singing and dancing.
It's fine to do things differently at your own wedding, but you don't decide to do that at some other person's wedding.
And it is not a reflection on what the bride and groom are thinking, or their marriage. To jump to a conclusion like that is complete nonsense. I'm surprised this conversation ever went this far. I had my wedding at a friend's summer home and my friends all worked together to create the beautiful decorations and cook food. They had an outdoor shower and my husband rebuilt it for them before the wedding. I helped paint their home. We wrote the entire ceremony ourselves (it was not traditional). It was very unusual and a lot of fun and full of love. We all have really good memories from it. During the ceremony we each planted a rose bush. The rose bushes are still there, 13 years later, flourishing. There are lots of ways to create your own beautiful celebration to enjoy your wedding with your partner and with your friends.0 -
if you hate the bride then YES! lol0
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Are you the one getting married to your friend? YES! So beautiful!0
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I'd hate to think that deep colors are my only option. It would be nice to wear something glamorous like this. But to where?
I don't go to top level benefit dinners, but I do go to plenty of weddings.
It would be nice to go all out and look gorgeous after loosing some weight.
Go out to see a play at a fancy theater, and to a fancy restaurant before or after. Or wear it to an office holiday party - my husband's office parties are always formal.
It is SUCH a gorgeous dress!!0 -
The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. There is a lot of gold.
And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.
I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.
I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.
Depending on the time of the wedding, the "don't wear black" to a wedding rule has long been disbunked; I'm pretty sure Emily Post even says, "Nah, that's that old 'don't make a wedding like a funeral' thing." So you could very easily wear a black cocktail dress.
However, if the dress is a good buy, is there anyway you can buy it and wear it to a different event? The whole "gold" accenting is very common for bridal gowns: gold, silver, and/or diamond or pearl accents are incredibly common, hence why so many people said, "This looks LIKE a wedding gown."0 -
Gorgeous dress, but I wouldn't wear it to a wedding...too close to white/ivory.0
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i wouldnt
sorry its too close to white! 0 -
Total wedding dress.
Doesn't matter that you like it.
Doesn't matter that it's on sale.
Doesn't matter that it's in your size.
This is a wedding dress.
If you think all wedding dresses still have big skirts and poofy sleeves, you haven't flipped through any modern and current bridal magazines.
If you want it for a different, occasion or a "maybe one day" occasion, cool. But this is inappropriate to wear to any other wedding but your own.0 -
People please don't beat me up, but why is it taboo to wear white to a wedding? Are people going to confuse her with the bride? And the dress is very pretty, but there will be other people wearing fancier dresses but no one will upstage the bride in them. I'm not asking to be rude, but I'm honestly curious as to why the social custom? Personally, I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding - if someone gets confused by who the bride is, then they shouldn't be at my wedding! lol0
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People please don't beat me up, but why is it taboo to wear white to a wedding? Are people going to confuse her with the bride? And the dress is very pretty, but there will be other people wearing fancier dresses but no one will upstage the bride in them. I'm not asking to be rude, but I'm honestly curious as to why the social custom? Personally, I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding - if someone gets confused by who the bride is, then they shouldn't be at my wedding! lol
I don't think anyone would be confused by who the bride is but as someone who got married last summer I would not have been happy if someone wore a dress that looks like a wedding gown to my wedding. I spent a lot of time (and money) planning our perfect wedding. Its the bride and grooms day and the whole point is you don't want to upstage the bride. That being said, I think you could get away with wearing a more casual white or ivory dress to an afternoon wedding or something, although most people would disagree. The original posters dress is very formal and bridal looking.0 -
http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-04-04/would-you-wear-white-to-someone-elses-wedding/
http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingguestinfo/f/guestswearwhite.htm
I agree with BECav and the other posters, it is not just that the dress in question is white, in some circumstances you can get away with some white, but that the dress is totally like a wedding gown itself. Totally inappropriate unless it is YOUR wedding. Some people just like to create drama or create a scene. A wedding isn't the place to do that, if you value the friendship of the people getting married or those they care about. If you don't value their friendship, then don't go, allow them to have their day without any idiocy.0 -
The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. Before all the feedback I saw it as a gold dress with a little ivory.
And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.
I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.
I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.
It doesn't really matter if she's not the bridezilla type, it's very possible she won't care, but her mom or grandmother might. Everyone has given you feedback that it looks very bridal and you'd be ignoring a well-known ettiquette rule just because you want to buy a pretty dress on sale. I'd be upset if someone wore white to my wedding, not because I'm worried about the attention being on me, but because it would seem like that person was purposely trying to cause a stir. The fact that you're a friend of the groom makes it seem worse.0 -
The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. Before all the feedback I saw it as a gold dress with a little ivory.
And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.
I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.
I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.
It doesn't really matter if she's not the bridezilla type, it's very possible she won't care, but her mom or grandmother might. Everyone has given you feedback that it looks very bridal and you'd be ignoring a well-known ettiquette rule just because you want to buy a pretty dress on sale. I'd be upset if someone wore white to my wedding, not because I'm worried about the attention being on me, but because it would seem like that person was purposely trying to cause a stir. The fact that you're a friend of the groom makes it seem worse.
Right, this is the issue. I just thought everyone knew not to wear a wedding gown to someone else's wedding (this dress is a wedding gown). So, if someone wears a wedding gown to someone else's wedding someone will wonder if the person did it on purpose to try and be hurtful to the couple for some reason. That's all it is. I would not be angry or anything like that, but I would wonder if the person was trying to cause a scene or an issue on purpose and would wonder why and whether or not I could trust that person. I would not say anything and I would not make a scene or draw attention to it. I would just wonder, why. Even if I realized it was unintentional, other guests would not and they would also think the friend was trying to do it intentionally (and they might say something to me and I would have to deal with that at my wedding). I learned about this when I was 14. I did not know that so many people did not learn this. So, now I know. But, it's one of those things that is worth paying attention to in order to avoid a potential problem, now that you have all learned. I don't really understand why it's being made into such a big deal. I also don't understand the people saying that they will never get married because of this. If it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter, why allow it to stop you from getting married. Surely there is another reason you don't want to get married, which is perfectly valid, lots of people choose not to get the legal marriage or have a wedding celebration for many reasons. It's a good thing I am, since otherwise I would not have been allowed to move into this country, when my husband got a job here.
My brother-in-law is going to be getting married soon, and I do not have a dress to wear. I am just going to go to the mall and pick out a dress. For my sister-in-laws wedding I wore a dress that was black and white very small checks, with a red belt. It is too big for me now, so I gave it away. I might pick out a dress that is a color or maybe one that is white, but with flowers on it. If it's a summer wedding, I will get a summery sun dress. If it is a winter wedding, I do have a dress that is long sleeves, black, and a short, but not super short length. That could work for an evening, winter wedding. I have worn black dresses to weddings many times. It's probably fine, as long as you are not the mother of the bride or groom, in which case a livelier dress would probably be better.
This particular dress actually looks like a wedding gown. If I was not married yet, or if I was going to renew my vows (we are planning to do that, but just us with our children and a friend to take some photos) I would choose a beautiful, but simple dress like this one.
Although there are plenty of fancy occasions you could wear this dress. Even just out to a nice dinner. Or other kinds of celebrations, just not a wedding. You wouldn't go to someone's birthday party wearing a shirt that said, "Kiss me, I'm the Birthday Girl" on it. You don't want people to think you have a problem with narcissism or passive aggressive behavior.0 -
very pretty but u can't wear a like white dress to a wedding.... If I were the bride, that would piss me off!0
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I agree that it's too bridal. Steer clear of things like that.0
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Personally if I were the bride I wouldn't give a rats. But I think some would see it as a no no0
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Gorgeous, but I'm with most everyone else on this. It's way too bridal to wear to anyone's wedding but your own. Does it come in another color? Cuz that would be ok. (And it's not just whether or not the bride will care. This is standard ettiquette and a lot of the guests, family, etc. will think you're rude. I woudn't wear it unless it came in another color.)0
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I wouldn't.0
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get a little red dress.
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never outshine the bride!0
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This!it's a beautiful dress, but i would steer clear of whites and ivory at a wedding. go for something navy blue instead!0 -
OP, not sure if you're still checking this but I've found a few other dresses I like. All should be able to be bought online. You don't need to spend 100s on a dress. Check Target, Kohls, Macy's for more!0
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If you love it, buy it! wear it to something else...
You could buy a more "suitable" dress for the wedding, it's a shame that a dress could potentially cause so much trouble but hey, that's life unfortunately.0 -
I love how weddings turn normally sane women into a screaming bunch of mentalists....:drinker:0
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