Could I wear this dress to a friend's wedding?

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  • firstsip
    firstsip Posts: 8,399 Member
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    The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. There is a lot of gold.

    And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.

    I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.

    I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.

    Depending on the time of the wedding, the "don't wear black" to a wedding rule has long been disbunked; I'm pretty sure Emily Post even says, "Nah, that's that old 'don't make a wedding like a funeral' thing." So you could very easily wear a black cocktail dress.

    However, if the dress is a good buy, is there anyway you can buy it and wear it to a different event? The whole "gold" accenting is very common for bridal gowns: gold, silver, and/or diamond or pearl accents are incredibly common, hence why so many people said, "This looks LIKE a wedding gown."
  • awadm
    awadm Posts: 252
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    Gorgeous dress, but I wouldn't wear it to a wedding...too close to white/ivory.
  • Peanutbutterx
    Peanutbutterx Posts: 332
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    i wouldnt :/ sorry its too close to white!
  • trb85
    trb85 Posts: 81 Member
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    Total wedding dress.

    Doesn't matter that you like it.
    Doesn't matter that it's on sale.
    Doesn't matter that it's in your size.

    This is a wedding dress.

    If you think all wedding dresses still have big skirts and poofy sleeves, you haven't flipped through any modern and current bridal magazines.

    If you want it for a different, occasion or a "maybe one day" occasion, cool. But this is inappropriate to wear to any other wedding but your own.
  • iceey
    iceey Posts: 354 Member
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    People please don't beat me up, but why is it taboo to wear white to a wedding? Are people going to confuse her with the bride? And the dress is very pretty, but there will be other people wearing fancier dresses but no one will upstage the bride in them. I'm not asking to be rude, but I'm honestly curious as to why the social custom? Personally, I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding - if someone gets confused by who the bride is, then they shouldn't be at my wedding! lol
  • BECav0602
    BECav0602 Posts: 200 Member
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    People please don't beat me up, but why is it taboo to wear white to a wedding? Are people going to confuse her with the bride? And the dress is very pretty, but there will be other people wearing fancier dresses but no one will upstage the bride in them. I'm not asking to be rude, but I'm honestly curious as to why the social custom? Personally, I would have no issue with someone wearing white to my wedding - if someone gets confused by who the bride is, then they shouldn't be at my wedding! lol

    I don't think anyone would be confused by who the bride is but as someone who got married last summer I would not have been happy if someone wore a dress that looks like a wedding gown to my wedding. I spent a lot of time (and money) planning our perfect wedding. Its the bride and grooms day and the whole point is you don't want to upstage the bride. That being said, I think you could get away with wearing a more casual white or ivory dress to an afternoon wedding or something, although most people would disagree. The original posters dress is very formal and bridal looking.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    http://www.thefrisky.com/2009-04-04/would-you-wear-white-to-someone-elses-wedding/

    http://weddings.about.com/od/weddingguestinfo/f/guestswearwhite.htm

    I agree with BECav and the other posters, it is not just that the dress in question is white, in some circumstances you can get away with some white, but that the dress is totally like a wedding gown itself. Totally inappropriate unless it is YOUR wedding. Some people just like to create drama or create a scene. A wedding isn't the place to do that, if you value the friendship of the people getting married or those they care about. If you don't value their friendship, then don't go, allow them to have their day without any idiocy.
  • khlesnick
    khlesnick Posts: 20 Member
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    The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. Before all the feedback I saw it as a gold dress with a little ivory.

    And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.

    I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.

    I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.

    It doesn't really matter if she's not the bridezilla type, it's very possible she won't care, but her mom or grandmother might. Everyone has given you feedback that it looks very bridal and you'd be ignoring a well-known ettiquette rule just because you want to buy a pretty dress on sale. I'd be upset if someone wore white to my wedding, not because I'm worried about the attention being on me, but because it would seem like that person was purposely trying to cause a stir. The fact that you're a friend of the groom makes it seem worse.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    The reason I was considering this dress is because if you look at the close up it really looks much more GOLD than ivory to me. Before all the feedback I saw it as a gold dress with a little ivory.

    And I could get if for half it's price in my size - a rare chance. It does not come in any other colors.

    I don't know what bride is wearing. Our friend is the groom. But I know she is a nice girl and not the bridezilla type.

    I also have a black cocktail dress. That is also inappropriate for a wedding. When it comes down to it there is way more than one arbitrary restriction.

    It doesn't really matter if she's not the bridezilla type, it's very possible she won't care, but her mom or grandmother might. Everyone has given you feedback that it looks very bridal and you'd be ignoring a well-known ettiquette rule just because you want to buy a pretty dress on sale. I'd be upset if someone wore white to my wedding, not because I'm worried about the attention being on me, but because it would seem like that person was purposely trying to cause a stir. The fact that you're a friend of the groom makes it seem worse.

    Right, this is the issue. I just thought everyone knew not to wear a wedding gown to someone else's wedding (this dress is a wedding gown). So, if someone wears a wedding gown to someone else's wedding someone will wonder if the person did it on purpose to try and be hurtful to the couple for some reason. That's all it is. I would not be angry or anything like that, but I would wonder if the person was trying to cause a scene or an issue on purpose and would wonder why and whether or not I could trust that person. I would not say anything and I would not make a scene or draw attention to it. I would just wonder, why. Even if I realized it was unintentional, other guests would not and they would also think the friend was trying to do it intentionally (and they might say something to me and I would have to deal with that at my wedding). I learned about this when I was 14. I did not know that so many people did not learn this. So, now I know. But, it's one of those things that is worth paying attention to in order to avoid a potential problem, now that you have all learned. I don't really understand why it's being made into such a big deal. I also don't understand the people saying that they will never get married because of this. If it doesn't matter to you, then it doesn't matter, why allow it to stop you from getting married. Surely there is another reason you don't want to get married, which is perfectly valid, lots of people choose not to get the legal marriage or have a wedding celebration for many reasons. It's a good thing I am, since otherwise I would not have been allowed to move into this country, when my husband got a job here.

    My brother-in-law is going to be getting married soon, and I do not have a dress to wear. I am just going to go to the mall and pick out a dress. For my sister-in-laws wedding I wore a dress that was black and white very small checks, with a red belt. It is too big for me now, so I gave it away. I might pick out a dress that is a color or maybe one that is white, but with flowers on it. If it's a summer wedding, I will get a summery sun dress. If it is a winter wedding, I do have a dress that is long sleeves, black, and a short, but not super short length. That could work for an evening, winter wedding. I have worn black dresses to weddings many times. It's probably fine, as long as you are not the mother of the bride or groom, in which case a livelier dress would probably be better.

    This particular dress actually looks like a wedding gown. If I was not married yet, or if I was going to renew my vows (we are planning to do that, but just us with our children and a friend to take some photos) I would choose a beautiful, but simple dress like this one.

    Although there are plenty of fancy occasions you could wear this dress. Even just out to a nice dinner. Or other kinds of celebrations, just not a wedding. You wouldn't go to someone's birthday party wearing a shirt that said, "Kiss me, I'm the Birthday Girl" on it. You don't want people to think you have a problem with narcissism or passive aggressive behavior.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
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    very pretty but u can't wear a like white dress to a wedding.... If I were the bride, that would piss me off!
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I agree that it's too bridal. Steer clear of things like that.
  • Mutant13
    Mutant13 Posts: 2,485 Member
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    Personally if I were the bride I wouldn't give a rats. But I think some would see it as a no no
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    Gorgeous, but I'm with most everyone else on this. It's way too bridal to wear to anyone's wedding but your own. Does it come in another color? Cuz that would be ok. (And it's not just whether or not the bride will care. This is standard ettiquette and a lot of the guests, family, etc. will think you're rude. I woudn't wear it unless it came in another color.)
  • RandiLandCHANGED
    RandiLandCHANGED Posts: 630 Member
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    I wouldn't.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    get a little red dress.:smile:
  • CherryLoveLove
    CherryLoveLove Posts: 31
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    never outshine the bride!
  • coliema
    coliema Posts: 7,646 Member
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    it's a beautiful dress, but i would steer clear of whites and ivory at a wedding. go for something navy blue instead!
    This!
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,064 Member
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    OP, not sure if you're still checking this but I've found a few other dresses I like. All should be able to be bought online. You don't need to spend 100s on a dress. Check Target, Kohls, Macy's for more!
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
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    If you love it, buy it! wear it to something else...

    You could buy a more "suitable" dress for the wedding, it's a shame that a dress could potentially cause so much trouble but hey, that's life unfortunately.
  • SteveJWatson
    SteveJWatson Posts: 1,225 Member
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    I love how weddings turn normally sane women into a screaming bunch of mentalists....:drinker:

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