ladies, a personal question. laides only.

zachatta

Man checking in who read the entire OP.

130annie

if you're a guy reading, then you're just creepy. it says ladies only.


have you noticed any change in your libido? before and after weight loss or gain? I have pretty much shut down after I got pregnant, 2 1/2 years ago. I have no interest in sex at all. when my hubby tries to "prep" me, I lay there debating with myself "I don't want to be touched. it'll be over soon. I don't ****ing care I don't want to be touched. but give it 10 minutes. no! get the **** off me!" after about 20 minutes of him not getting the hints, me just laying there, not trying to cuddle or anything, I know the only way i'll get what I want is if he gets what he wants. I have never really been too into sex to begin with. the idea just sickens me. it just weirds me out, but I did have a sex drive once, even if it was small and well hid.

my question is obviously if that's happened to you, and did it change after you lost the weight?

I went from 204-260 while prego. went down to 215 in about 5 months but was struggling with PPD so was not interested in anything, but with a job in fast food, and those hours clashing with gym hours I damned myself back into the 260 area.

i'm wondering if it's just the weight now, cause a big part of it is i'm embarrassed to be seen by him. he says he doesn't care or notice, but he's my husband. bound by the if you don't want your *kitten* kicked marital law he has to say that. it may be true, but I don't believe it.

anyway, back to main subject. did you notice it get higher when you were nearing your weight goal?

Maybe you should have a talk to your gyn....It could be a hormone issue....

PrettyandPolished

I don't think weight is the only "issue". Its a hormonal imbalance from what I understand.
I have always had a very healthy libido, whether I was at my highest weight (210) or at my lower weights.
The only difference I have noticed has been that days I work out I have a lot more energy so instead of just doing it and being done it will usually last much longer and be much more fun.

Have you spoken to a Dr about any of this? I can't imagine your Gyno not picking up on an imbalance like that. Of course PPD will drastically effect your libido because it too is a hormonal imbalance.

Duck_Puddle

I have no interest in sex at all. when my hubby tries to "prep" me, I lay there debating with myself "I don't want to be touched. it'll be over soon. I don't ****ing care I don't want to be touched. but give it 10 minutes. no! get the **** off me!" after about 20 minutes of him not getting the hints, me just laying there, not trying to cuddle or anything, I know the only way i'll get what I want is if he gets what he wants. I have never really been too into sex to begin with. the idea just sickens me. it just weirds me out, but I did have a sex drive once, even if it was small and well hid.

my question is obviously if that's happened to you, and did it change after you lost the weight?

I've thought all those things-for years. And it has nada to do with weight and everything to do with personal history. I was held captive, tortured and raped. I had NO desire to participate in any activity that required touching, much less sex. I spent a bazillion years in therapy, another bazillion years with an extremely patient man "learning" to be OK with sex. I may never enjoy it, but I don't loathe it, fear it, detest it or avoid it (or "checkout" during) as I used to. It took a LOT of talking to counselors AND my partner-not just "I feel gross, I'm not in the mood" but really talking about things that were painful for me to talk about and for him to hear. But it's better, and continues to get better. At some point, I hope I can learn to enjoy we'd the way normal people do. But I'm so much more ok just enjoying the "experience" than I used to be. I haven't felt any nasty stuff about sex in a long time, and it has nothing to do with how much I weigh.

Lconsla

I've never NOT been interested, but I will say that after losing almost 30 pounds i'm not so embarrassed to be naked in front of him (i don't have to slide out of bed and cover up before going into the bathroom). It could be a hormonal imbalance, but it very well could be just the extra weight you're carrying around.

TylerJ76

Oops.

_DaniD_

Oops.

_noob_

HOW WOULD THIS THREAD NOT BE PERTINANT INFORMATION FOR ME?

Alex_is_Hawks

I'm horny all the time...

24/7 365...

i just am. I have always had a higher sex drive than any of my partners and i have never been in a state where I didn't want to be touched.

so i can't say that I relate.

as I have lost the weight, while my libido hasn't increased (because I don't think you can increase that roof) my stamina and ability to be more adventurous and fun has definitely changed.

If you are having issues with enjoying sex, being touched, etc, you may want to look into therapy or see your doctor.

It can affect your marriage. I'm not judging, I'm just saying from a practical standpoint. Most humans crave physical touch. Not all, but most.

but in terms of libido? no, it hasn't gotten worse. It's still sky high.

everything else has gotten BETTER.

rlmadrid

For me, body image is negatively correlated with libido. If I look in the mirror and I'm bloated up like a blimp, any intimate contact almost feels repulsive. I think it's just that I don't want to be seen naked and jiggly. That said, after a bomb workout, the endorphins and the "damn I look hot" muscle pump boosts libido.

_DaniD_

If you don't want him touching you sexually, I think it's time to move on.

iAMsmiling

<~~~creepy.

Birds of a feather....

Making it a flock.

__RANDY__

HELL YEAH!
'ROMPING TIME!
the more you lose, the hotter you feel
and yep
IT HAPPENS!
oh, but it is blissful.,

This happened with my wife, she lost 60lbs and turned into a demon in the sack, now we are expecting our 1st baby!

jackpotclown

here for my creeper award.....\m/
it was the freudian slip that caught my attention (laidies) \m/

pastryari

I have never really been too into sex to begin with. the idea just sickens me. it just weirds me out, but I did have a sex drive once, even if it was small and well hid.

This makes me think that the issue goes deeper than weight/body image insecurities. I think you should see someone.

pastryari

Another question, have you ever had an orgasm?

FitBeto

Another question, have you ever had an orgasm?

that wasn't faked

amandasilva

I have been diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which means a number of things that make me feel negatively about my body (and therefore about my body having sex); An insulin resistance, which can make it easier to gain weight and harder to lose it, excess body hair (androgen/male pattern hair growth), cycle irregularity. - Not feeling 'normal'.

My plan is to deal with the insulin resistance with intermittent fasting (proven to help in studies)
Cut out sugars and restrict carbs (as sugars have been said to cause hair growth)
And try to get to a state of ketosis to help with the hunger pangs that the intermittent fasting would cause and teach my body to use fats as fuel instead of carbs.

I'm working on my eating habits now to feel more energy, sleep better and experience less body pains. - If this has a positive effect on my libido, bonus.

Ditto.
I think many of the factors in this conversation are intertwined. Weight lose= more confidence= increased drive= healthier hormone levels.....and that keeps going.

I can say that my drive has always been higher than my husband's- but I know its easy to take care of it myself. It has slowed down during times of stress (babies, work, life in general), but always rebounds when I have better control over my diet and fitness level.

Hope you find what you are looking for. I know that I don't want physical contact when I am physically overwhelmed with the childcare issues. The "don't touch me" mentality comes when I have not had time to take care of my own body, and am too busy taking care of everyone else's- this was very true during the breastfeeding months.

DarkAngel262

Hi, I first wanted to say I'm sorry you're having a rough time. Secondly I wanted to say my post is 100% sincere and not rude (you know, can't read tone).

After reading the replies I find it a bit worrisome that so many women have such low drives. I'm not saying you should be a porn star, but to have a feeling of not wanting to be touched at all either warrents counseling or perhaps a very long talk with your partner.

I've always had a very strong sex drive. Even after dating someone for 5+ years. Perhaps I was tired or didn't feel well, but the touch of the person I was so in love with was enough to get me going and still is.

Lets face it, relationships are hard work. Sexless ones are even more difficult. I strongly advice couples counseling and perhaps trying anything you find enjoyable together sexually. Build from there.

Good luck.

Cr01502

<~~~creepy.

Birds of a feather....

You pretty much asked for it with the title.

Probably should have just hid this under a TOM heading . . . .