I give up.

245

Replies

  • sweetkat75
    sweetkat75 Posts: 29
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.
  • chantelp89
    chantelp89 Posts: 590 Member
    One word. Accountability
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    Dont give up it will workout! Hehe puns but seriously try walking or something dont just give in
  • Jonesie1984
    Jonesie1984 Posts: 612 Member
    FCHW- FAITH, CONSISTENCY, HARDWORK = SUCCESS.

    Faith-with the process, adequate but not over abundant nutrition

    Consistency- Doing it EVERYDAY regardless of life stress, additional work for prep, denying yourself, etc.

    Hardwork- Exercise, self discipline, self sacrifice.

    **If your lacking in any of the areas you will fail. You have to DECIDE you WILL be successful then go after it.
  • thisdarkpassenger
    thisdarkpassenger Posts: 76 Member
    I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.


    Just wanted someone to listen. Thanks for your responses.

    You sound very similar to me. You should have your doctor test you for PCOS- Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome- it makes it very hard to lose weight and to get pregnant. If you do have PCOS, your doctor can prescribe you to Metformin and it helps with weight loss and fertility. Good luck and don't give up!!
  • RosalindSutch
    RosalindSutch Posts: 5
    Consider a personal trainer. It's the best investment you can make for your health!
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

    So dont give up chocolate just eat less
  • Controversial
    Controversial Posts: 157 Member
    Medication? Did you consider maybe that's the problem? Most of us on this site didn't use medication, but good old-fashioned hard work and tracking.
  • jonnythan
    jonnythan Posts: 10,161 Member
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

    Seems unlikely, but if you've "tried it all" and won't share details and diaries, then there's literally nothing anyone can do for you.

    If you want to give up, give up. Don't threaten to leave and fish for people to beg you to stay.
  • ChelleBalady
    ChelleBalady Posts: 204
    Don't give up. Diet has EVERYTHING to do with weight loss. I had been seeing a trainer for a year got stronger but not much weight loss. At first I wanted to give up. I blamed everyone but myself. In the end you can't out exercise a bad diet. You have to take control of yourself and responsibility. I saw a nutritionist who is teaching me how to eat properly and what works for my body.nplus I LOVE the foods I eat. I exercise with a trainer 2-3 times a week and cardio 4-5. The weight is coming off now, and I am thrilled! Giving up is always the easiest thing to do but can't be blamed on anyone but ourselves. I would encourage you to open your food diary and allow others to give feedback and support. This is how we learn. I wish you all the best and hope you continue to strive for a healthy lifestyle. :smile:
  • macummins1959
    macummins1959 Posts: 23
    No advantage in quitting, things can only get better, if you give up they will only get worse.
  • RiannonC
    RiannonC Posts: 145 Member
    I don't think you are ready to give up. When you came here to make a post about it, you had to have realized, at least subconsciously, that everyone here is going to tell you NOT TO GIVE UP, to keep trying, keep working at it, no matter how insurmountable the obstacles may seem. The very fact that you made a post about it, knowing what would happen, tells me that a part of you is stronger than you think you are and isn't ready to quit.

    I haven't been through what you are going through but I have experienced a lot of times during my life when I felt like I couldn't handle what was coming at me and I wanted to quit trying. It's never worth it. Even trying and failing is so much better than not trying at all. Even if you never reach the goal that you originally wanted to, you'll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you gave it your all.

    It's obviously not easy or else everybody would be a healthy weight, but something tells me that you are a strong person and that if you want it badly enough, you will keep experimenting with what works for you and you will get there.
  • BeeElMarvin
    BeeElMarvin Posts: 2,086 Member
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

    To be honest, I have not seen one single bullying post on this thread. People are asking questions in an attempt to help you. You aren't letting them help - THAT is when the snarky responses and less than fully supportive statements start.
  • ChelleBalady
    ChelleBalady Posts: 204
    :flowerforyou:
  • kimmyjoeinaz
    kimmyjoeinaz Posts: 1 Member
    Find a friend that has your same goals and workout and report to eachother daily, weekly, whatever you need to keep you strong. Get a group of friends to put money in a pot and do your own biggest looser. That really helped me. Measure yourself and go for inches and I am sure you will see results with all the exercise you are doing.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    If you had honestly tried everything you genuinely wouldn't be in this position. I would very much like to know what weightlifting routine you used, what weight you lifted, for how long and would be shocked if you had done that correctly and your body hadn't changed for the better. You are doing something wrong and that's just the truth, unless you can bend the laws of physics. Also stop feeling sorry for yourself, it's not productive.
  • fatsnacker
    fatsnacker Posts: 209 Member
    You've got that out of your system.

    Now think of doing it in small steps - set yourself a small goal and try to think how you would feel if you lost between 5-10 lb in March.

    I don't particularly like vegetables so I buy stir fry sauces that can disguise the taste a little bit. It takes perseverance and time to adjust to new foods but you can get there little by little.

    I am currently sticking with a 5 days normal (2000 calories) and 2 days (1000 calories) and I am finding this easy, why don't you try 6 days normal and 1 day at 1000 to get started. Fasting of any kind for 1 day is achievable.
  • kmcosgrove115
    kmcosgrove115 Posts: 260 Member
    Although I do not have as much to lose, I absolutely can relate to the feeling of giving up - at my lowest point I went to Netflix and watched Forks Over Knives and never looked back - it changed my life, my view on food and how what I was eating was not only causing the weight gain but also slowly killing me and setting me up to die early.

    Now I am fully plant strong and love it and it was not hard - try Happy Herbivores recipe books - amazing! I had a big drop early on and then a slight gain even with great food - I think I know where I need to tweak but I was SO LOW on Sunday emotionally when I saw the scale.

    Today I have rebounded and am excited to go home and cook from an Engine 2 recipe tonight - as sad as it was, I still ate correctly thru the emotion, no cheating and now my excitement is back in full swing doing and eating all the right things.........

    The weight will drop as long as I keep on keeping on with the right foods and portions - it just will - and I too have to "step away from the scale" so much..................please stay - I need the support and find when others know how hard it is, you can relate more and find support and that alone helps me to stay the course!
  • skeo
    skeo Posts: 471 Member
    You say you give up, you get people who are genuinely asking questions about what you have done and how long to see if they can offer you any help, because you are withholding information, it's hard for anyone to help you fix what the problems may be. I don't see anyone "bullying" but people who want to offer help.
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
    Nobody was bullying you. But you make such blanket statements as "tried everything", but what you posted about your food diary suggests that you KNOW you are not trying everything and there is something wrong with what you are eating. You just don't want to hear it.
  • ChelleBalady
    ChelleBalady Posts: 204
    :smile:
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,783 Member
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

    If you have been eating and exercising as your post indicates and your diary supports your posts, you have nothing to hide and there is no reason to fear negative comments.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

    I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!
    I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.

    It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.

    Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)

    Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.

    Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!

    Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!

    Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!

    Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.

    Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.

    And relax.

    Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.

    <3

    oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!
  • msleanlegs
    msleanlegs Posts: 188 Member
    I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.


    Just wanted someone to listen. Thanks for your responses.

    Have you tried relaxing a bit on the dieting? The frustration from trying this and trying that must be stressful and that stress is probably adding to your weight loss woes. Have you tried trading some of the cardio for yoga and meditation? 6 lbs lost in a year is still weight lost. Congrats! One thing you shouldn't do is give up. What's the alternative? Keep gaining until you die of morbid obesity complications? That's no way to live.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    I think you should give up the following instead:
    -making excuses
    -negativity
    -dishonesty (with yourself)
    -feeling sorry for yourself

    I'm not sure the purpose of this thread other than to get attention. Everyone is here because they want to be and they are trying to better themselves. I can sympathize with you but I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and it seems that is what you came here for. If you want to be unhappy then no one is going to stop you.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Well at least you are brave enough to publicly announce your failure!

    Now if only you were brave enough to keep fighting for yourself.
  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
    I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

    Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

    Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

    Just thinking there may be something that you don't see. I'm fairly new to MFP but I lost most of the weight prior to joining.Just thought maybe there could be something in there that could be helpful....
  • marcuscross104
    marcuscross104 Posts: 57 Member
    I know exactly how you feel. But don't give up.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    OP you might want to talk to your DR.

    I just went back and read some of your other posts. Including the one about wellbutrin (an anti-depressant.)

    This could be an issue with your dosage, you haven't quit taken the medicine cold turkey have you?

    Also you lost 3.5kg just like that when you went on the medicine and when you quit eating chocolate. So you had a good start going there.

    Another reason I asked about your food diary.. In another post you wrote "I recognize the problem is me, and a bad habit of cheat snacking. But i am trying to be honest with myself. My nutrition here is limited as I am allergic to fish, don't like rice or kimchi and cannot readily get the vegetables or fruits I enjoy all the time."

    I'm not trying to be mean here, just trying to figure out ways to help. Sometimes our biggest issues in our weightloss journey's are ourselves.

    There is more info we'd all need to really help you. You most likely need to get with a dr or a nutritionist and they can help you. You just have to be willing to talk to them and be open with them, and then to follow them.
  • Mbillingslea
    Mbillingslea Posts: 7 Member
    Sometimes the truth hurts but that does not make the speaker a bully. If you want it (to be skinny) then go after it. If you don't then don't; just don't try and drag others down with you. Good luck on which ever route you take but true happiness takes work and commitment.

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