I give up.
Replies
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I think you should give up the following instead:
-making excuses
-negativity
-dishonesty (with yourself)
-feeling sorry for yourself
I'm not sure the purpose of this thread other than to get attention. Everyone is here because they want to be and they are trying to better themselves. I can sympathize with you but I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and it seems that is what you came here for. If you want to be unhappy then no one is going to stop you.
This is the most accurate and correct response. Well stated.
If I would add anything I would say to educate yourself instead of "trying" and then quitting everything. Don't be a quitter (unless you're smoking). It doesn't happen overnight. You're not the special little snowflake destined to be obese until you have a heart attack and die.
Also...South Korea: Eat local. Stay the hell away from fast food joints. If you're staying away from them because they "don't suit your delicate palate" you're making another excuse you need to get over. Try new things, even if they look weird. You might surprise yourself.0 -
1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
2. Realize that weight loss takes time and within a year you say you tried several things....did you give them reasonable amount of time to actually make a difference? I.e...a change for 2 weeks is not going to make life long success. Pick something, stick with it for a few months and if no changes, THEN try something new.
3. People are trying to help you, not be mean. But like another person said if you aren't willing to open your diary up or be more detailed and insist on keeping it all so secretive and using the shield of "someone may hurt my feelings"..then none of us can help you.
4. Good luck with whatever you choose to do..but to be honest, giving up should be bottom of the list.0 -
Don't give up and just because others are fat in your family doesn't mean you can't lose weight. Do what you have to do. Don't do anything to damage yourself but do all you can to be healthy and fit. I understand your pain very much. If your a believer of God pray and let go of anything that is mentally holding you back.0
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I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.
I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.
It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.
Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)
Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.
Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!
Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!
Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!
Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.
Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.
And relax.
Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.
oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!
OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!0 -
I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.
I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.
It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.
Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)
Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.
Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!
Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!
Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!
Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.
Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.
And relax.
Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.
oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!
OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!
That Corvus is a smart cookie, but she's a lot more willing to coddle people than I am :laugh:0 -
I had often felt the same way. My issues were my WHY for losing weight was not big enough. I needed to do this for me and find a program that worked. I use The Diet Doc (google this and you will see amazing things) I use my Fitness Pal to log EVERYTHING I eat and keep me honest. I started all this the first week of December 2012 and am currently down 37lbs. I have to look at it as a lifestyle change - one for the REST OF MY LIFE. For my family and me! You can't just use crash diets and you need to focus on only 1-2lbs a week... Especially if you need to rebuild your metabolism. Once you crash your metabolism, you have a very long hard road getting it back, but it can be done!0
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Well you can give up. I just want you to think about something if you give up today and go back to "normal life" in 10 years what will your life look like as opposed to you keep plugging away logging your food, measuring, trying to eat a few more veggies, drink a little more water, and move a little more.
Do you think that if you keep plugging away that your life will be worse in 10 years than if you did nothing? Something to think about. Ultimately the only person who cares about your health is you.0 -
It is kinda hard to help you when you have your diary closed as we can not give you suggestions on what to try as we cant see what you have been eating. If you are eating good CLEAN food and the correct calories and you have only lost 4 lbs i find it had to believe that you diet is on track .And when you say 3 to 5 hr of exercise is that a week ? you really don't say.
If you have been doing any weight training on a regular base you have had to gain muscle and you may not lose LBs but your body has had to have some changes.
As far as people kicking you when you are down i do not se that here at all i see it as people reaching out to help you but you just dont want to hear what we have to say . You are the one that asked for help but you are unwilling to be open minded and except what we are saying and take all the help that people are giving you for FREE.0 -
What do you mean by "Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate."?
They probably mean that they want to lose weight, but do it eating cheesecake, ice cream, pizza, hot wings and beer?0 -
I'd really like to help you, but without seeing your diary, that's really very hard.0
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I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.
Just wanted someone to listen. Thanks for your responses.
Never give up! You may be insulin resistant! Some people have trouble digesting carbohydrates properly... if you are insulin resistant, carbs will spike your insulin. You need to keep trying and see what works for you. Even if you only lose a pound or two a month, that is still progress. Anything is better than going in the opposite direction and gaining weight. I genuinely hope you keep trying. Everyone here wants to see you succeed!
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YOU WILL stumble, trip and fall but don't ever give up. EVER!!0
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Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.
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I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.
Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.
Is that 3 to 5 hours of exercise a day??? Or a week?0 -
You haven't failed until you quit trying,0
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don't give up. remember you were not born that big it took years and years for you to get to the weight you are now. you should it expect that it may take a while to undo what you've done over years. try searching for foods that help speed up your metabolism and burn fat.0
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I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.
You are more than a number on a scale. Have none of the changes made you feel better - stronger, faster, happier, more energetic, successful - even just for a few moments? Do you clothes fit any better or look better on? Do you have more energy than when you started? Are you able to work out for longer and harder than when you started? All of those things are victories! Focus on the non-scale victories - no matter how small - and the rest will come.
If nothing else, I would consult with another doctor; the one you have doesn't sound very helpful or concerned. Or at least start seeing a nutritionist or personal trainer. You lost 3 kg - that means your body is not damaged beyond repair. It is possible for you to lose weight. Just because it's not happening at the rate you want doesn't mean it's impossible. It took time for you to gain the weight; it will take time to lose it.
Good luck!0 -
I think the OP is long gone.0
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I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.
I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.
It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.
Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)
Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.
Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!
Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!
Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!
Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.
Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.
And relax.
Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.
oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!
OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!
That Corvus is a smart cookie, but she's a lot more willing to coddle people than I am :laugh:
I'm a big fan of the word "magnanimous"...it's the only word I would ever have tattooed on me
And also, I totally know how OP feels because I was there. I remember trying to lose weight and everything not working and thinking there must be some medical excuse. I got tested for thyroid, it was normal. I just couldn't make sense of it. But then when I got a smart phone, i just sorta thought "oh it'd be cool if I had an app to track what I eat" and I found MFP that way. And i just started doing it. And that's how I learned to eat normal amounts of food. And the weight came off like magic. It was so amazing how easy it was once I had the right tool. I felt like I had found Jesus! LOL! I was a born again person!0 -
I do know how you feel, and especially about the diary. Some times people cannot understand the lives we are living, the conditions that operate around us. They expect us to sacrifice (what they think is little) a lot. For example, I find it very difficult to buy healthy food a lot because it is just so darn expensive; I still try to buy them when I can, but most of the time, I buy low calorie foods that probably aren't that good for me. Just as long as I'm within reason on my calories. This is probably, definitely, why I'm not losing weight right now. I am also accepting the fact that I don't want to work out is contributing to my steadfast plateau. But I'm still logging. And I still come here every day. I don't want to give up because I know the hard life will pass soon and I'll be able to continue going to the gym again.
Don't give up, no matter how much you want to. Because in the end, if you do give up, you'll be thinking... why did I stop? Why didn't I just keep going? It'll always work out in the end. :bigsmile:0 -
[I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.
Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.
I have been there! Look for a Physician that practices Metabolic Medicine.....
Have you had extensive Blood Work?? Looked for Food Allergies? Vitamin/Mineral Deficiencies??? Endocrine Issues??? Had your Cortisol levels Checked?? Have you had a Glucose Tolerence Test?? Had your BMR measured by Respirometry?? Had Nutritional Counseling?? Worked with a trainer?? Had a Polysomnogram to check for Sleep Apnea. There are so many things that can grind weight loss to a halt...Including OVERTRAINING!( Honestly 3-5 hrs a day is enough to send your body into adaptive thermogenesis)
When I was 85 pounds overweight I had deficiencies in B12, Vit D (I thought, How could someone so overfed have deficiencies??) and Had Metabolic Syndrome, Obstructive Sleep Apnea and despite healthy eating and a ton of exercise I didn't loose a pound until my medical issues were corrected. A healthy diet, portion control ect had me loose a quick 20...that was predominately inflammation, It took 5 months worth of CPAP, Vitamins and Meds to loose the next pound! Once my body normalized the weight came off.
In the past I would just work out until I got physically injured or mentally burned out. Stop spinning your wheels and get a full Metabolic Workup by a competant physician that won't be judgemental.
BTW...even after I reached my goal weight....I am still on Meds....its how my body works...so long as I eat right, exercise AND take my meds....I maintain my weight +/- 10lbs(Winter is hard on me. cant wait till Daylight savings Time Begins).0 -
I believe if you really had given up you would not have written this post. Hopefully you will take some of the advice given & keep going.0
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I'm 35 years old, 62 inches tall, and was 229 pounds when I started trying to lose weight (again) the first of this year.
For years I said, "I can't lose weight!" "I'm trying everything and nothing is working!" "I'm eating so much less but not losing weight!"
One 1 January this year, I did something I hadn't done before: I measured everything I ate. You know what? I found out why I wasn't losing weight. My portion size was at times, more than 3x what a real portion size was! Yep, I was taking in waaaay more calories than I thought I was. (Heck I would have two cups of coffee a day and with the amount of cream/sugar I added, each cup was 300 to 400 calories. I LOVED a little coffee with my cream and sugar! Now, I have one cup of coffee with two measured servings of my creamer and no extra sugar. My one cup is now 70 calories instead of over 300.)
I exercise. Every. Single. Day. At least 30 minutes.
Since logging everything on My Fitness Pal, measuring my portion sizes, drinking water throughout the day instead of anything else, I have lost 23 pounds.
I suggest you start fresh. Invest in food scale, measuring spoons/cups and start over. Measure everything. Don't eyeball it. Give up calorie drinks and only drink water or zero calorie teas.
You can do this. And you don't have to give up everything you love. I still get to eat things I love, just not in over abundance.
Open your diary so we can see what you have been doing. Maybe we can help you with some low cal meal ideas, substitutions, and such. Do you eat a lot of rice? I love rice and found out it is muh higher in calories than I assumed.
Don't quit. My Fitness Pal in an excellent tool and I wouldn't have made it this far so quickly.
I do not eat back all of my exercise calories...only some. I have my calories set at 1200, but usually take in about 1400.
Do you drink sodas? I was drinking one to two 20 ounce bottles of Mountain Dew a day. Each bottle I drank was 290 calories, added on top of 600+ calories in my coffee, and I drank most of my calories for the day without even factoring in my food.
You can NOT cheat. You need to honestly log everything you eat, drink and do. You need to be accurate which means actually measuring it, and not by eye. If you feel like" closet snacking" drink a large glass of water and head out the door for a walk.
Do not quit. You will only be more unhappy.
(Plus I read that your dr said you were gaining muscle while losing fat, so that means something you were doing was going right!)
Oh wanted to share with you that I was Vit D and potassium deficient, have fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, and metabolic syndrome. I am losing weight. So you can, too! I now take several supplements: fish oil, multi vitamin, potassium, magnesium, and biotin.0 -
Bless you. I am not successful either so you are not on your own. However, my friends on here are still so supportive and encouraging, even though most of them are losing and I'm not. I really value their friendship, and the things they eat and write encourage and inspire me to keep trying. You are only a failure if you give up so DON'T!!! Just keep plodding on and keep going. If you give up you will possibly beat yourself up about it, go on an unhealthy long-term binge and then just get heavier and heavier...and unhealthier and unhealthie.r....and unhappier and unhappier. Staying on this supportive site, with the right non-judgemental friends, will hopefully give you little glimmers of hope and, even if you are not losing, hopefully it will prevent you from gaining. Please don't give up.......who knows, one day you might start losing some pounds, isn't that a gamble worth taking? Best of luck xxx0
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I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.
It is possible that you are trying too much and over-thinking too much. If I tried everything that everyone said, I would go crazy. For every suggestion, there is a contradiction. You cannot follow every single suggestion of every single person and succeed. It's just not going to work. You have to try one thing, if it doesn't work after trying it for 1-2 months, then try adjusting. But try adjusting just one thing at a time, try it for a month or two, etc. Your body will be all kinds of confused if you are constantly all over the place from the suggestion of so many. People can only suggest what works for them. What works for one might not be the picture of ideal success for others. What works for me might not give you the same results. Or it MIGHT give you the same results, but in a different amount of time. You have to establish what works for you. You have to give yourself the chance to make that discovery by sticking with something over a period of time. It gets frustrating for all of us. We all have to adjust throughout the course. That's just the norm.
No offense but your mom and sister quite possibly are where they are based on choice rather than genetics. If they choose the lifestyle that supports where they are, that's the life they will have. If you choose a different lifestyle, you quite possibly will have different results. My mom is nothing like me. I have two sisters. Neither of them are like me. We're all just people living lives and getting out of life what we put in to it. You can have results. You might not ever be 120 pounds, but then, you just might have a 120-pound girl inside of you trying to break out. You can't dwell on where you think you could/could not be. You have to just focus on treating yourself well. Thinking of long-term life and healthiness. Take care of YOU first so that you can safely and healthfully care for a wonderful child (or more) later on. If you aren't healthy, how would you provide a long life for another person? This isn't me being judgmental, this is truly me trying to maybe shift those negative voices in your head telling you that you cannot do this. We've all told ourselves that. You can't give in to those thoughts. You CAN do it. You can be healthier.
If you are trying to be where you are eating foods you hate, then you will fail. In order to change your lifestyle, not just diet, you have to find a compromise between all that's perfectly healthy and what foods you can happily sustain life on. I have discovered so many more delicious recipes and foods since I've made a few changes and compromises. I don't feel like I'm sacrificing much of anything. True, there are times I want to gob down a bunch of the stuff that had me where I was before, but I find that the payoff of refraining is so much more satisfactory.
I promise, if you give it some time, you can make changes like you wouldn't believe. If you do it properly, it changes more than just your body. Your confidence, mental well-being, everything follows suit. You weren't born obese (I assume) so it wasn't your intent to be that way. I would rather you add me and allow me to encourage you rather than you walk away and give up on yourself.
Much luck to you!
Ashley0 -
Did you join MFP just to say "I give up"?0
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I echo the others who said your doctor should test for PCOS and/or insulin resistance. I was ready to give up after 12 pounds because nothing worked. I tried all kinds of calories and workout combinations for several months with only a pound lost here and there.
Then my doctor did bloodwork and discovered I have PCOS w/ insulin resistance. He put me on metformin and progesterone supplements and told me to eat like a diabetic (low-carb/low-sugar). I also have to exercise 30-45 minutes every day to help my body use up the glucose in my blood.
See my ticker? I've lost 58 pounds and just hit 299 today because I kept fighting and didn't give up. I had to give up some of my favorite foods, like mac and cheese, but it forced me to find healthy alternatives that don't leave me feeling bloated and gross, so it all worked out in the end. Plus, I'm finally under 300 pounds, which I never thought would happen when I weighed 357.
Please don't give up.0 -
I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,
Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.
Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.
Oh the macros. Do yourself a favor, don't focus so hardcore on every crumb right now. I don't look at macros. Many people do. Perhaps the macros are good for different people for different reasons. However, for the sake of getting off the ground and just getting started, don't consume yourself with such details. Honestly, to really get down to the core of things and really just to get started, I would truly focus on the calorie intake itself. That was my only focus at the beginning. Still is mostly. Once you get to a certain point and maybe you're more concerned with the nitty-gritty, the macros can work themselves out.
Chocolate? Um yes, I love it and I still have it. There are many ways to have chocolate without chocolate having you. Don't think of it as if you have to give up all that gives you pleasure. But there must be a compromise.
I do believe you have the power to make this happen for yourself. You just have to see it first. Focus on calories in and exercise for a month or so only. Get down to basics. Give yourself a push and relax. If you just breathe and work on the basics, I feel strongly you will kickstart this. Once you are a little way in and you start plateauing, as well all do, then you make the little adjustments here and there to all the little details. And it can be just basic little adjustments, nothing ground moving. It sounds like you have a good grip on exercising to get things started. You will have to adjust that later on as your body gets fitter, but if you make it happen, you will naturally want to progress anyway---and you will discover how to.
Please feel free to add me if you want to and I would be happy to support your journey. If you are willing to do for yourself, all things will fall into place. But you have to actually do it. I believe you can and will if you have that support.0 -
I'm 35 years old, 62 inches tall, and was 229 pounds when I started trying to lose weight (again) the first of this year.
For years I said, "I can't lose weight!" "I'm trying everything and nothing is working!" "I'm eating so much less but not losing weight!"
One 1 January this year, I did something I hadn't done before: I measured everything I ate. You know what? I found out why I wasn't losing weight. My portion size was at times, more than 3x what a real portion size was! Yep, I was taking in waaaay more calories than I thought I was. (Heck I would have two cups of coffee a day and with the amount of cream/sugar I added, each cup was 300 to 400 calories. I LOVED a little coffee with my cream and sugar! Now, I have one cup of coffee with two measured servings of my creamer and no extra sugar. My one cup is now 70 calories instead of over 300.)
I exercise. Every. Single. Day. At least 30 minutes.
Since logging everything on My Fitness Pal, measuring my portion sizes, drinking water throughout the day instead of anything else, I have lost 23 pounds.
I suggest you start fresh. Invest in food scale, measuring spoons/cups and start over. Measure everything. Don't eyeball it. Give up calorie drinks and only drink water or zero calorie teas.
You can do this. And you don't have to give up everything you love. I still get to eat things I love, just not in over abundance.
Open your diary so we can see what you have been doing. Maybe we can help you with some low cal meal ideas, substitutions, and such. Do you eat a lot of rice? I love rice and found out it is muh higher in calories than I assumed.
Don't quit. My Fitness Pal in an excellent tool and I wouldn't have made it this far so quickly.
I do not eat back all of my exercise calories...only some. I have my calories set at 1200, but usually take in about 1400.
Do you drink sodas? I was drinking one to two 20 ounce bottles of Mountain Dew a day. Each bottle I drank was 290 calories, added on top of 600+ calories in my coffee, and I drank most of my calories for the day without even factoring in my food.
You can NOT cheat. You need to honestly log everything you eat, drink and do. You need to be accurate which means actually measuring it, and not by eye. If you feel like" closet snacking" drink a large glass of water and head out the door for a walk.
Do not quit. You will only be more unhappy.
(Plus I read that your dr said you were gaining muscle while losing fat, so that means something you were doing was going right!)
Oh wanted to share with you that I was Vit D and potassium deficient, have fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, and metabolic syndrome. I am losing weight. So you can, too! I now take several supplements: fish oil, multi vitamin, potassium, magnesium, and biotin.
AWESOME COMMENT! So glad you didn't just "give up", instead you honestly examined all your food behaviors, got to the truth, made the appropriate changes and are seeing POSITIVE RESULTS. WAY TO GO! And here's to your continued success.0 -
The question is just how bad do you want a child? You need to dig deep inside yourself and find the courage to plow on. You can do this but giving up will just make a bad situation worse. Trust me, I've been there several times. Let go of the depression and change it into anger. Then get your butt up off the couch and walk. Don't worry about your weight right now just focus on moving and set little goals for yourself. Today I'm going to walk down to the end of the block. Tomorrow I'm going to do the same, Next week I'll go a little farther and so on. You deserve a child but only you can make it happen. I hope and pray that you don't give up and just try a little longer. Remember you have to love yourself first before you can truly love somebody else. Best wishes!0
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