I give up.

aakaakaak

I think you should give up the following instead:
-making excuses
-negativity
-dishonesty (with yourself)
-feeling sorry for yourself

I'm not sure the purpose of this thread other than to get attention. Everyone is here because they want to be and they are trying to better themselves. I can sympathize with you but I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and it seems that is what you came here for. If you want to be unhappy then no one is going to stop you.

This is the most accurate and correct response. Well stated.

If I would add anything I would say to educate yourself instead of "trying" and then quitting everything. Don't be a quitter (unless you're smoking). It doesn't happen overnight. You're not the special little snowflake destined to be obese until you have a heart attack and die.

Also...South Korea: Eat local. Stay the hell away from fast food joints. If you're staying away from them because they "don't suit your delicate palate" you're making another excuse you need to get over. Try new things, even if they look weird. You might surprise yourself.

_Witsy_

1. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
2. Realize that weight loss takes time and within a year you say you tried several things....did you give them reasonable amount of time to actually make a difference? I.e...a change for 2 weeks is not going to make life long success. Pick something, stick with it for a few months and if no changes, THEN try something new.
3. People are trying to help you, not be mean. But like another person said if you aren't willing to open your diary up or be more detailed and insist on keeping it all so secretive and using the shield of "someone may hurt my feelings"..then none of us can help you.
4. Good luck with whatever you choose to do..but to be honest, giving up should be bottom of the list.

Goddessmaker1

Don't give up and just because others are fat in your family doesn't mean you can't lose weight. Do what you have to do. Don't do anything to damage yourself but do all you can to be healthy and fit. I understand your pain very much. If your a believer of God pray and let go of anything that is mentally holding you back.

prov31jd

I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!

I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.

It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.

I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.

Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)

Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.

Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!

Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!

Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!

Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.

Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.

And relax.

Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.



oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!

OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!

jonnythan

I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!

I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.

It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.

I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.

Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)

Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.

Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!

Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!

Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!

Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.

Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.

And relax.

Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.



oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!

OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!

That Corvus is a smart cookie, but she's a lot more willing to coddle people than I am :laugh:

srthompson917

I had often felt the same way. My issues were my WHY for losing weight was not big enough. I needed to do this for me and find a program that worked. I use The Diet Doc (google this and you will see amazing things) I use my Fitness Pal to log EVERYTHING I eat and keep me honest. I started all this the first week of December 2012 and am currently down 37lbs. I have to look at it as a lifestyle change - one for the REST OF MY LIFE. For my family and me! You can't just use crash diets and you need to focus on only 1-2lbs a week... Especially if you need to rebuild your metabolism. Once you crash your metabolism, you have a very long hard road getting it back, but it can be done!

ldrosophila

Well you can give up. I just want you to think about something if you give up today and go back to "normal life" in 10 years what will your life look like as opposed to you keep plugging away logging your food, measuring, trying to eat a few more veggies, drink a little more water, and move a little more.

Do you think that if you keep plugging away that your life will be worse in 10 years than if you did nothing? Something to think about. Ultimately the only person who cares about your health is you.

bevmcarthur

It is kinda hard to help you when you have your diary closed as we can not give you suggestions on what to try as we cant see what you have been eating. If you are eating good CLEAN food and the correct calories and you have only lost 4 lbs i find it had to believe that you diet is on track .And when you say 3 to 5 hr of exercise is that a week ? you really don't say.
If you have been doing any weight training on a regular base you have had to gain muscle and you may not lose LBs but your body has had to have some changes.
As far as people kicking you when you are down i do not se that here at all i see it as people reaching out to help you but you just dont want to hear what we have to say . You are the one that asked for help but you are unwilling to be open minded and except what we are saying and take all the help that people are giving you for FREE.

K_Serz

What do you mean by "Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate."?

They probably mean that they want to lose weight, but do it eating cheesecake, ice cream, pizza, hot wings and beer?

Oishii

I'd really like to help you, but without seeing your diary, that's really very hard.

kgoodman0108

I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.


Just wanted someone to listen. Thanks for your responses.

Never give up! You may be insulin resistant! Some people have trouble digesting carbohydrates properly... if you are insulin resistant, carbs will spike your insulin. You need to keep trying and see what works for you. Even if you only lose a pound or two a month, that is still progress. Anything is better than going in the opposite direction and gaining weight. I genuinely hope you keep trying. Everyone here wants to see you succeed!

bsix3

YOU WILL stumble, trip and fall but don't ever give up. EVER!!

Deipneus

Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

nolakris

I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

Months ago I gave up chocolate. My favourite food in the world. I eat it occasionally now instead of every day. I thought that was contributing to my failure.

Thanks for those who gave me encouragement, it is nice to hear a kind word while I am mentally beating myself up. For those who feel the need to be qn online bully, perhaps you no longer have weight issues but you have other issues holding you back. There is never any need to be mean.

Is that 3 to 5 hours of exercise a day??? Or a week?

jlapey

You haven't failed until you quit trying,

gdlloyd

don't give up. remember you were not born that big it took years and years for you to get to the weight you are now. you should it expect that it may take a while to undo what you've done over years. try searching for foods that help speed up your metabolism and burn fat.

lyrobit

I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

You are more than a number on a scale. Have none of the changes made you feel better - stronger, faster, happier, more energetic, successful - even just for a few moments? Do you clothes fit any better or look better on? Do you have more energy than when you started? Are you able to work out for longer and harder than when you started? All of those things are victories! Focus on the non-scale victories - no matter how small - and the rest will come.

If nothing else, I would consult with another doctor; the one you have doesn't sound very helpful or concerned. Or at least start seeing a nutritionist or personal trainer. You lost 3 kg - that means your body is not damaged beyond repair. It is possible for you to lose weight. Just because it's not happening at the rate you want doesn't mean it's impossible. It took time for you to gain the weight; it will take time to lose it.

Good luck!

jonnythan

I think the OP is long gone.

CorvusCorax77

I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!

I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.

It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.

I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.

Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)

Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.

Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!

Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!

Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!

Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.

Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.

And relax.

Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.



oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!

OP: Listen to this response, it's FULL OF EXCELLENT ADVICE!

That Corvus is a smart cookie, but she's a lot more willing to coddle people than I am :laugh:

I'm a big fan of the word "magnanimous"...it's the only word I would ever have tattooed on me

And also, I totally know how OP feels because I was there. I remember trying to lose weight and everything not working and thinking there must be some medical excuse. I got tested for thyroid, it was normal. I just couldn't make sense of it. But then when I got a smart phone, i just sorta thought "oh it'd be cool if I had an app to track what I eat" and I found MFP that way. And i just started doing it. And that's how I learned to eat normal amounts of food. And the weight came off like magic. It was so amazing how easy it was once I had the right tool. I felt like I had found Jesus! LOL! I was a born again person!

ShifuYaku

I do know how you feel, and especially about the diary. Some times people cannot understand the lives we are living, the conditions that operate around us. They expect us to sacrifice (what they think is little) a lot. For example, I find it very difficult to buy healthy food a lot because it is just so darn expensive; I still try to buy them when I can, but most of the time, I buy low calorie foods that probably aren't that good for me. Just as long as I'm within reason on my calories. This is probably, definitely, why I'm not losing weight right now. I am also accepting the fact that I don't want to work out is contributing to my steadfast plateau. But I'm still logging. And I still come here every day. I don't want to give up because I know the hard life will pass soon and I'll be able to continue going to the gym again.

Don't give up, no matter how much you want to. Because in the end, if you do give up, you'll be thinking... why did I stop? Why didn't I just keep going? It'll always work out in the end. :bigsmile: