Drama & Naysayers

1ConcreteGirl

I've found that A LOT of women are jealous. It doesn't make me feel good at all, I would rather receive no attention than negative attention or comments. Once again, maybe that is not your experience or your oblivious to it, but I'm sure it happens to most women that are attractive and in shape.

Shrug.

the hotter your body starts to look, the meaner the women will be. It's a shame how much looks play a role in how you are treated, but it does. Women are usually very nasty to each other. Oprah once said, she didn't want to lose all her weight, bc it would hurt her ratings bc studies show women don't like "in shape" women as much as ones who are either more like them or out of shape. Not sure of the exact quote, but that is basically what she said.

I had a pretty damned hot body most of my life. I have an hourglass figure, DDs on my chest, hair complete strangers stop me in Walmart or the line at an airport or pretty much every time I leave the house to compliment and I was never above a size 6 until I was nearly 30 years old, currently a size 8.

I have NEVER had an experience like you describe. Ever. Once or twice some random chick flirted with my BF in front of me, but never said anything nasty to me personally. I just laughed it off and thought she should count her blessings I'm not the jealous type.

I think if you're getting this kind of treatment, it's more to do with the attitude you project and maybe your own behavior than what you look like.

EDIT: I have a large circle of close female friends, most of whom are very beautiful inside and out. I guess I'm just lucky, but I haven't experienced the female nastiness I see so many women talk about. Maybe because I'm not that type of person myself, so I don't attract women like that into my life.

Yeah, I tend to agree with this.

BlueObsidian

nope this has never happened to me and i hear it here all the time which makes me wonder if people arent creating these situations in their own head as an easy "out".

"I cant get healthy because people are MEAN!"

So, I imagined the guys who yelled "Run, fatass, run" out their car window at me as I was doing C25K the other day? Or the guys that made cow noises at me last year? As someone who's struggled with my weight for a long time, I've had a number of bad experiences where people felt the need to make nasty comments about my body or my workout.

I wouldn't say it's common, as I live in a fairly fitness-oriented town and most people are pretty nice, but there are some serious jerks out there.

MercenaryNoetic26

That movie "Mean Girls" comes to mind.

MireyGal76

IMHO when you say "they're jealous", you are placing them in a position of inferiority to you. They aren't as good as you and they realize it and hate you for it.

Maybe someone who knows you might be jealous, but a complete stranger? Who passes you in a park? THEY have the tine to look at you, judge you as better, and then tear you down?

Yeah... not so often as we might hope.


People can be *kitten*.
Maybe they are:
-rude
-obnoxious
- embarassed or uncomfy
- trying to be funny and failing

Yeah. I'd bet on any of those before jealousy

rml_16

When I was a little girl, and kids at school were mean to me, my mom used to always say, "They're just jealous."

Even at that young age, I thought, "Of what?" I was cute, so were they. I was smart, so were they. I was poor... they weren't. There was nothing to be jealous of. It was just something moms say to make their daughters feel better.

They were mean because... they were mean. And I was an easy target. End of story.

When I was in first grade, I every day ended up sitting across the lunch table from a second grade girl named Julie. She would spend the ENTIRE lunch time calling me the "ugly duckling" and get her classmates to join in. I have no idea what her problem was, but I just told myself that the ugly duckling grew into a beautiful swan and tried to ignore her as best I could.

By the next year, she wanted to be my friend. *shrug*

I think she just saw an easy target. I was always pretty quiet and shy, but I have the darned curls that have always attracted attention.

1ConcreteGirl

nope this has never happened to me and i hear it here all the time which makes me wonder if people arent creating these situations in their own head as an easy "out".

"I cant get healthy because people are MEAN!"

So, I imagined the guys who yelled "Run, fatass, run" out their car window at me as I was doing C25K the other day? Or the guys that made cow noises at me last year? As someone who's struggled with my weight for a long time, I've had a number of bad experiences where people felt the need to make nasty comments about my body or my workout.

I wouldn't say it's common, as I live in a fairly fitness-oriented town and most people are pretty nice, but there are some serious jerks out there.

It's really awful that people have to deal with this.... but again, people are mean, or want to feel superior, and it has nothing to do with what their target looks like. They just pick on the first thing that stands out to them.

Jealousy? Not so much.

_Lori_Lynn_

Error.

_Lori_Lynn_

To me, saying "Oh they're just jealous" is something you tell a toddler who is being picked on. Not a grown *kitten* person. Lets be real here.

Personally, if people are condescending toward me for doing something to better myself I either flip them the bird or, if my car is nearby, punch them in the face

Case in point, look how nasty the women in this thread are getting. Many women tend to just have nasty, hateful attitudes. By the way, the definition of jealous is, "envy" of something someone has that you don't. It makes you feel "less". I still say she was jealous. If this poster doesn't know for sure and we don't know for sure you can "assume she was jealous" or you can "assume she was not jealous" either way, no one here is wrong, because we don't know and we will never know. Every woman on the planet has felt envy of another woman. I do not believe all of the 'holier than thou' on here who CLAIM it isn't common. A psychologist might have a better insight, but I doubt they would be wasting their time on a site like this.

Also a toddler is not going to understand the concept of "jealous". I hope people don't say this to a toddler.

lithezebra

That would make me want to work out with a friend. How dreadful. I've gotten occasional dirty looks, the usual cat calls, and caused a rear end collision, but no one has ever been so directly nasty where I live.

jesz124

Everyone's reactions and attitudes are not based on being jealous of other people. That's just ridiculous to presume that people are jealous of you so they act in a certain way. People are ****ty/weird/grumpy for many many reasons but I doubt it's always because they are fighting the green devil inside them wishing they looked like you. I don't mean that in a ****ty way either. I'm just saying generally reactions to situations arnt based on envy.

cmriverside

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

_Lori_Lynn_

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

You would be a better person for not reading the responses, trust me. I wish I could delete the last ten minutes of my life, because I read them.

Summing it up it is just a bunch of jealous women attacking each other on a forum.

MireyGal76

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

Now now don't be jealous

Contrarian

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

You would be a better person for not reading the responses, trust me. I wish I could delete the last ten minutes of my life, because I read them.

Summing it up it is just a bunch of jealous women attacking each other on a forum.

I don't understand what it is you think they are jealous of. I just see people giving their opinions.

chubby_checkers

Summing it up it is just a bunch of jealous women attacking each other on a forum.

I didn't see anyone attacking anyone else. All I saw were some people offering up alternative suggestions.

jesz124

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

You would be a better person for not reading the responses, trust me. I wish I could delete the last ten minutes of my life, because I read them.

Summing it up it is just a bunch of jealous women attacking each other on a forum.

Not to be rude, but it comes across as you are the only one doing the attacking? You seem really annoyed that people here disagree with your therory about females and jealously? It's just opinion differences. Nothing to get mad about :bigsmile:

skinnybunny_x

I suppose my opinion is that jealousy seems to be the most rational explanation when I am dealing with a woman being *****y or condescending for no reason. Superiority complex plays into that ... to me if you are being uppity and looking down your nose at everyone it says that you are indeed insecure about yourself, and probably jealous of me because I'm not. Sure, someone could just be having a bad day, but there is usually a reason why a woman picks a specific target. Guys hooting and hollering ... not so much, they're just being *kitten*. Women are more calculated than that. Hopefully that makes sense, but I don't want to get caught up in the semantics when that's not the point of my post to begin with.

I have had other female and male friends with me when some of these things have happened, and family members. I don't even make eye contact or initiate any kind of conversation, and my close friends & family are not the kind of people to lie to me when they say it was totally unwarranted. No, it's not my attitude. I am self confident, but definitely in a healthy sense. To the other women here who haven't experienced these things, I'm happy for you and you must either be extremely lucky, not the type of person to attract attention, or oblivious.

It is interesting to me how I created a thread for SUPPORT, and it seems like instead of having a real discussion in a mature way, people are aguing and dishing out low blows. I wish we could support our fellow women! Guys always have eachother's back, come on ladies ...

At the end of the day, I think I'm over being the "nice" girl who never makes a scene. Standing up for yourself is never a bad thing, so long as you go about it in the right way.

jesz124

What? I didn't read any responses, because I just didn't ....


But, really? This sounds like some sort of ploy for reactions to me.


I've never (in a few decades) heard of anything like this. I call Shenanigans. Seriously.

You would be a better person for not reading the responses, trust me. I wish I could delete the last ten minutes of my life, because I read them.

Summing it up it is just a bunch of jealous women attacking each other on a forum.

Not to be rude, but it comes across as you are the only one doing the attacking? You seem really annoyed that people here disagree with your therory about females and jealously? It's just opinion differences. Nothing to get mad about :bigsmile:

skinnybunny_x

Whoops, double post!

BlueObsidian

nope this has never happened to me and i hear it here all the time which makes me wonder if people arent creating these situations in their own head as an easy "out".

"I cant get healthy because people are MEAN!"

So, I imagined the guys who yelled "Run, fatass, run" out their car window at me as I was doing C25K the other day? Or the guys that made cow noises at me last year? As someone who's struggled with my weight for a long time, I've had a number of bad experiences where people felt the need to make nasty comments about my body or my workout.

I wouldn't say it's common, as I live in a fairly fitness-oriented town and most people are pretty nice, but there are some serious jerks out there.

It's really awful that people have to deal with this.... but again, people are mean, or want to feel superior, and it has nothing to do with what their target looks like. They just pick on the first thing that stands out to them.

Jealousy? Not so much.

Could you show me where, in my post, I mentioned jealousy? Or where, in the post I was responding to, that jealousy was mentioned? But hey, thanks for pretending to read my post.