romantic advice?
Here's the situation: There's this guy. I've known him for a long time (10 + years) but in the last three years or so, we've gotten pretty close. We have amazing conversations and I feel like I can talk to him about anything. I've had a HUGE crush on him for the last few years. He knows I think he's totally awesome because I tell him so regularly. I've told him I think he's probably the handsomest dude in town as far as I'm concerned. Whenever I'm having some problem, or some cruddy personal situation, he's the first person calling me up to talk about it and ask how I'm doing. He's like Mr. Fixit. When I'm so involved with something that I can't see the forest for the trees, he can rationally sort things out and get my head right again. And let me repeat: he often calls me FIRST in these situations (maybe I mentioned something was up on facebook, and he's calling--BAM). For example, I was dating someone awhile back who tried to commit suicide a couple of days after we split up. It was kind of all over our social circle because that person drug all of our friends into it (this was not something on facebook!). You can imagine what a frought moment that was for me. And my good friend, who I love to peices, is calling me to say, "Hey, this isn't your fault," etc. What a good dude. I really needed that.
Anyway, question is, I can't figure out WHY the two of us haven't gotten together. I keep thinking it's because he isn't attracted to me. That's the only answer I have for you. Or, maybe he sees some reality that I don't about what it would be like if we were actually together. FOLKS: tell me what's up. My friends can't figure it out, and neither can I. What's broken here?
Anyway, question is, I can't figure out WHY the two of us haven't gotten together. I keep thinking it's because he isn't attracted to me. That's the only answer I have for you. Or, maybe he sees some reality that I don't about what it would be like if we were actually together. FOLKS: tell me what's up. My friends can't figure it out, and neither can I. What's broken here?
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Replies
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Have you ever said "hey, you and I, i think we have something... lets give it a go".... Or maybe he is also thinking about you the same way and wondering why you don't want more??? idk...0
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you're asking the wrong people, you should be asking him.0
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Sounds like you're in the friend zone.
If you want to talk to someone about it, talk to him.0 -
You are in the friend zone. No way.
jinx!0 -
Friend zoned.
He may be willing to try something, but be aware of the reprocussions it can have on your friendship. You have been friends so long that the transition may be difficult.0 -
Sounds like you're in the friend zone.
It is Steak and BJ Day. I don't know, that could help you in a new direciton. Worth a shot anyways.0 -
This and this times 3. I"m a "dude friend" kinda gal.. and the very few times i've tried to mix the two.. it never worked out NO matter how compatible. I learned the hard way. Don't do that. Speak up.Friend zoned.
He may be willing to try something, but be aware of the reprocussions it can have on your friendship. You have been friends so long that the transition may be difficult.0 -
Sounds like you're in the friend zone.
It is Steak and BJ Day. I don't know, that could help you in a new direciton. Worth a shot anyways.
Actually not too bad of advice.0 -
@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).
You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.
My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.0 -
Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.0
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Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?0 -
@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).
You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.
My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.
whierd is a total player, dont worry about him
anyways, OP, know what the best way to get out of the friend zone is? Never get there in the first place0 -
Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.0 -
Yeah I think you should ask him about it. If he is as good a friend as you say he is then he will be honest with you, whether he wants to be with you romantically or not.0
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From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
WHAT? Who told you that? my secret is gone!0 -
Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.0 -
Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.
SHE WANTS THE D0 -
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
WHAT? Who told you that? my secret is gone!
Funny! My friend Matt told me....then left me a sad, sad panda
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@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).
You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.
My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.
:laugh: Sorry, I need more than a pretty face.
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Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.
SHE WANTS THE D
We all do. There, now you know one of our secrets :flowerforyou:0 -
Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.
What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?
From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.
Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.
SHE WANTS THE D
We all do. There, now you know one of our secrets :flowerforyou:
The D.... ATE?
The D....INNER?
The D....ANCING?
Yeah, she wants it all.0 -
whierd is a total player, dont worry about him
Hah! If I am a player it is in one strange game. :laugh:1 -
@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).
You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.
My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.
:laugh: Sorry, I need more than a pretty face.
this. is. truth.0 -
Thank you Im taking a bow now Folks
Make sure he buys you dinner first!0 -
Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...
Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?
Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.0 -
^^ she's gonna have to buy him dinner first.0
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Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...
Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?
Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.
they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.0 -
Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...
Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?
Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.
they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.
Considering it's been 10 years, and she's been available for the last however long and if he has been too, then perhaps..
Maybe...
Bare with me here...
He's not interested.
/end thread.0
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