romantic advice?

Athena98501

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

Factory_Reset

If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

I'm married and I don't believe in soul mates.

1ConcreteGirl

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

whierd

Meant to be together, but should do nothing. Legit.

Wow, smaller words are not less important. I said IF. None of us can know. It'll happen if it's meant to happen.

IF it was meant to happen, it would've by now.

But didn't you see that man who waited TWENTY YEARS to declare himself?? Maybe he's just shy.

OP, if he's shy, you need to be ready to just throw him down and have your way with him. Don't worry girl, you've earned it! Get yours!

No means no!

whierd

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

Has it not also been in her court?

susheetush

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

I completely reject the idea that she's helpless in this. The ball is not in his court. She can ask him. If he rejects her, she knows and she can move on. If he doesn't reject her, they don't waste another 10 years. But I do not understand just sitting there like some helpless disney princess expecting him to read her mind.

Athena98501

If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

I don't believe in soul mates. At all.

I didn't used to either. I was around the OP's age when I met mine. Nothing I did before I met him was a waste of time. It got me where I needed to be. Now I know that people who don't believe in them just haven't met theirs.

Factory_Reset

Meant to be together, but should do nothing. Legit.

Wow, smaller words are not less important. I said IF. None of us can know. It'll happen if it's meant to happen.

IF it was meant to happen, it would've by now.

But didn't you see that man who waited TWENTY YEARS to declare himself?? Maybe he's just shy.

OP, if he's shy, you need to be ready to just throw him down and have your way with him. Don't worry girl, you've earned it! Get yours!

No means no!

But usually yes

matt2442

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

Has it not also been in her court?

honestly, the ball sounds like it's in left field at this point

MyChocolateDiet

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

"soul mates for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." like that?

I've never heard that, but I guess it fits.

my friend was really into soul mates she used to say it. she heard it somewhere and even thought that rationale applied to friends. i tried to tell her that we make our own meaningful relationships, but i'll stop now before the rest falls on deaf ears. lol.

susheetush

If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

I don't believe in soul mates. At all.

I didn't used to either. I was around the OP's age when I met mine. Nothing I did before I met him was a waste of time. It got me where I needed to be. Now I know that people who don't believe in them just haven't met theirs.

Wow that's condescending. I have been deeply, madly in love where I thought I'd be with him forever. But I also know I can live without the man I used to love, if he let me down. I believe that as humans we're capable of deep, monogamous love more than once. I don't think your idea of 'love' is any more valid than the love I feel.

Factory_Reset

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

Definitely. New tennis partner. New balls.

chellebublz

He knows she thinks he is awesome and handsome. That's not the same as knowing she is interested in more. Some guys really need to have it spelled out. Maybe he thinks she is joking or being sarcastic.

1ConcreteGirl

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

Has it not also been in her court?

From what she says, he knows how she feels and has chosen not to pursue it, thus indicating a lack of interest in another kind of relationship. I would just move on.

Athena98501

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

I agree. I thought I kind of said that, too. She should date whoever else she wants, but that doesn't mean something couldn't happen with this guy down the road. You never know.

MyChocolateDiet

I'm a big believer that if you don't like something, you change it. If you want more with this guy, the best way to find out if that is possible is to do something. Or be happy not to do something, and forget about it completely, and don't think about it anymore. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Sheesh, it's not rocket surgery.

lmfao. "rocket surgery". that should have already been in my mom brain smush dictionary.

matt2442

Definitely. New tennis partner. New balls.

Cp731

Just do it already! Put something sexy on and comb your hair, pretty up your lips and tell him your down for him!!!

BE BRAVE

whierd

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

"The ball is in his court": i do agree with this. It's been in his court for ten years. She needs to pick a new tennis partner.

Definitely. New tennis partner. New balls.

Teehee

MyChocolateDiet

I'm going to disagree with the "friend-zoned" replies, and here's why. I whole-heartedly believe in soul-mates. One vital detail that most people don't seem to think about is that in order for two soul-mates to come together, BOTH of them have to be ready.

When I was young, I was best friends with a guy who I knew was in love with me for nearly 4 years. It took that long for me to be ready to be involved with him romantically. I'm not with him anymore, but I believe I was meant to be with him when I was.

I'm also absolutely certain that I was meant to be involved with someone I was with a short time before I met my husband. And I KNOW that I'm with the man I was meant to be with for the rest of my life, now.

We can't know what the path will be to our soul-mates, but every life we touch leads us there, and helps someone else on their path. We reach them when we reach them. I know this might all sound strange, but I know what I'm talking about here.

I have to disagree with the comments recommending you take action, as well. As you said, he knows how you feel. If he feels the same way, he'll let you know when he's ready. I recommend you live your life. If someone else comes along who you want to date, do it. If you're meant to be with this guy, it will happen when it happens.

so you say they are soul mates but they shouldnt do anything? so basically just, nothing?

Nope. Nobody can say they're soul-mates at this point. She says he knows how she feels. If she pushes, and he isn't ready, he'll have to reject her. If he knows how she feels, the ball is in his court.

I completely reject the idea that she's helpless in this. The ball is not in his court. She can ask him. If he rejects her, she knows and she can move on. If he doesn't reject her, they don't waste another 10 years. But I do not understand just sitting there like some helpless disney princess expecting him to read her mind.

^this. no helpless please. help me help you!

whierd

He knows she thinks he is awesome and handsome. That's not the same as knowing she is interested in more. Some guys really need to have it spelled out. Maybe he thinks she is joking or being sarcastic.

Not to sound cynical, but I am told that sort of thing often, yet it never really means anything more thsn "I am sure someone else would love to have you!"

1ConcreteGirl

He knows she thinks he is awesome and handsome. That's not the same as knowing she is interested in more. Some guys really need to have it spelled out. Maybe he thinks she is joking or being sarcastic.

Not to sound cynical, but I am told that sort of thing often, yet it never really means anything more thsn "I am sure someone else would love to have you!"

Fair enough. Put up or shut up, I guess. Everyone just needs to stop sitting around though. Figure out what's up and move on with your life. Either together, or not.

BaconMD

Write him a note that says "DO U LIEK ME? YES / NO" and pass it to him in class. See which one he circles when he passes it back to you.

matt2442

As guns n roses said- "what we have here is failure to communicate"

subconscious_ink

I don't know if you believe in destiny. I don't, so I'm not going to talk about whether it's "meant to be" or not. However, what you really have to ask yourself is: how badly do you want to know? Will you regret it forever if you never know whether he felt the same way? If so, then you should take the chance, and tell him how you feel.

If you won't regret not knowing, then do you want it badly enough to possibly mess with the friendship?

whierd

He knows she thinks he is awesome and handsome. That's not the same as knowing she is interested in more. Some guys really need to have it spelled out. Maybe he thinks she is joking or being sarcastic.

Not to sound cynical, but I am told that sort of thing often, yet it never really means anything more thsn "I am sure someone else would love to have you!"

Fair enough. Put up or shut up, I guess. Everyone just needs to stop sitting around though. Figure out what's up and move on with your life. Either together, or not.

*Nod* If I am interested in someone and I think that they may be interested I at least check it out to see what is there. It sucks when you are wrong but sitting around waiting is even worse.

Today414

If I took 20 years to declare my love for someone, I would expect a punch to the face for wasting time.



Am I alone in not believing in soul mates?

I don't believe in alot of things.... soul mates being one of them. NOTHING is ever perfect. My soul is unique. It does not have a "mate". The end.

Today414

Write him a note that says "DO U LIEK ME? YES / NO" and pass it to him in class. See which one he circles when he passes it back to you.

*giggle*

anybeary

My favorite advice so far has got to be this: "Pull out all the stops, but if he doesn't respond, pretend you were drunk." hahaha! It's worth a shot.

whierd

Of course that is the advice you pulled from this.