romantic advice?

whierd

@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).

You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.

My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.

:laugh: Sorry, I need more than a pretty face.

Factory_Reset

Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.

What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?

From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.

Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.

SHE WANTS THE D

We all do. There, now you know one of our secrets :flowerforyou:

1ConcreteGirl

Lean into him, bear your soul and go in for a kiss! Whats the worst that can happen? Your already stressin him, you know that you cant move on until you get closure. If it were me I lay it all out on the table and be a grown up about and tell him your intentions too see where this leads. You will never know unless you make the first move. Sometimes it just takes us a while too find out who we are as individuals before we can truly give our hearts away. Your ready for the next step. We only have a short time on this earth and it shouldn't be wasted on "what if's" Go for it girl, get yours, you have invested time and energy in a friendship and if he values it he will act accordingly.

What if he doesn't know that friendship is supposed to be sexual like this?

From what I've heard, men usually want to bang their female friends.

Granted, but it sounds like the OP wants more than that.

SHE WANTS THE D

We all do. There, now you know one of our secrets :flowerforyou:

The D.... ATE?

The D....INNER?

The D....ANCING?

Yeah, she wants it all.

whierd

whierd is a total player, dont worry about him

Hah! If I am a player it is in one strange game. :laugh:

MyChocolateDiet

@Whierd totally friend-zoned me in the "Would you date the person above you, yes or no" thread. LOL. So I can imagine winning him over would be difficult. But my technique would be to pull out all the stops and maybe try to lure him in with my feminine wiles. A dress. Some flirting. Many cocktails (for me).

You're in the friend zone but that doesn't mean that he hasn't thought about you in the other way. I have found that men with female friends have thought about them in a sexual way at least once or twice.

My advice would be to turn on the charm but if no response, pretend you were drunk.

:laugh: Sorry, I need more than a pretty face.

this. is. truth.

Cp731

Thank you Im taking a bow now Folks



Make sure he buys you dinner first!

supertracylynn

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

MyChocolateDiet

^^ she's gonna have to buy him dinner first.

1ConcreteGirl

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.

supertracylynn

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.

Considering it's been 10 years, and she's been available for the last however long and if he has been too, then perhaps..
Maybe...
Bare with me here...


He's not interested.

/end thread.

MyChocolateDiet

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.

dude seriously if it hasn't happened in ten years it's not going to. this is not a harry met sally movie. it's real life where men try to hit in the first 3 dates or they book it. this is not that kind of situation. it's friends only. confusing but true.

1ConcreteGirl

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

they usually come around.... after more than ten years? I think not.

dude seriously if it hasn't happened in ten years it's not going to. this is not a harry met sally movie. it's real life where men try to hit in the first 3 dates or they book it. this is not that kind of situation. it's friends only. confusing but true.

Not even confusing.

Just true.

Sorry, OP, I think you need to move on.

supertracylynn

...
this is not a harry met sally movie.
...

Never seen it.

However, I do think we agree on this one.

Sorry, OP, I think you need to move on.

I second this one as well.

xiofett

I wasted 20 years wanting to be with one of my best friends but afraid to damage the friendship. I finally got the courage up to ask her and you know what? It's freakin' AWESOME. For the first time sine I was in my early 20s, I'm happy.

If you're willing to listen to a total stranger, I say go for it. If your friendship is as strong as you think it is, it will survive regardless of the romantic outcome. Just don't spend half your life thinking about what might have been.

whierd

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

whierd

I say go for it and keep us posted.

Factory_Reset

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

I disagree too! I put the moves on my husband over 12yrs ago. Have never been happier with that decision.

MyChocolateDiet

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

Dude I will KNOCK down a door with my high heels on if i think there is an interested man i am attracted to on the other side who is hesitating for whatever reason. but this is not the case here. after 10 years he would have done something. and if he hasn't is that the kind of man OP or any woman wants? Not me personally. we shall see about her.

1ConcreteGirl

Absolutely do NOT make the first move and do NOT ask him "where is this going"...

Would you respect him if you had to lead the relationship?

Does he date around? Ask him why/why not, and maybe what he's looking for with specifics.
If you match, laugh about it and just wait, they usually come around.
If not, nothing lost.

So it isnt acceptable for a woman to open the door up to something more? I completely disagree.

Dude I will KNOCK down a door with my high heels on if i think there is an interested man i am attracted to on the other side who is hesitating for whatever reason. but this is not the case here. after 10 years he would have done something. and if he hasn't is that the kind of man OP or any woman wants? Not me personally. we shall see about her.

Winner winner. I like this one.

susheetush

You'll never know unless you come out and ask him. Unless you're happy to stay friends (and it sounds like you're not), and he's really the friend you say he is, then stop wimping out and just bloody ask him.