Spousal Cheaters?

matchbox_girl

Is it ever okay to forgive a cheater? If so, under what circumstances?

jbutterflye

Good God woman, what did he eat?

matchbox_girl

Good God woman, what did he eat?

My ex-friend/future bridesmaid

leahartmann

You will probably get as many different answeres as there is people answering. I would say under some circumstances I might forgive. But I have never been in that situation, so what do I know... But you have to decide what´s important for you and where you say Stop. That´s your decision, you can´t ask others for that answer. It is all yours.

dirtnap63

Good God woman, what did he eat?

My ex-friend/future bridesmaid

Well if he's not Paleo I don't see what the problem is.

leahartmann

How long have you known eachother?

n8dawg77

There's ALWAYS room for forgiveness. If not you'll live in bitterness and that's just as ugly!

- in my humble opinion...

jbutterflye

Good God woman, what did he eat?

My ex-friend/future bridesmaid

Well if he's not Paleo I don't see what the problem is.

There's the fat content to consider. It may be over his daily limit.

mmddwechanged

You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.

matchbox_girl

How long have you known eachother?

Three years. He was my best friend before we started dating. We've been together a year and a half, have lived together the whole time, and he proposed in December. We were due to be wed in October.

Phaedra2014

Is it ever okay to forgive a cheater? If so, under what circumstances?

Yes. It is always okay to process and forgive any wrong that was done to us but it is your right and choice to discontinue the relationship. if you are able to put it all behind you and start fresh, by all means stay with this person. But even if a tiny part of you is still resentful, angry, hurt and in pain, no it is not wise to continue the relationship.

Allow yourself to heal.

ChrisinGA

I forgave my gf for cheating, not sure it was right thing, cause I can never forget what she done, that's the hardest part.
far as the friend keep them as a ex friend. and stay away from them.

Eifersucht

You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.

^^^This^^^

Mrs_Bones

There's ALWAYS room for forgiveness. If not you'll live in bitterness and that's just as ugly!

- in my humble opinion...

Sure, I believe you can always forgive someone. I could probably forgive someone, but I don't think I could trust them or live with them afterwards. I would take it as a sign that you're better off apart and just go seperate ways. Everybody is different though, you have to decide for yourself what you can live with. If someone didn't love me enough to keep it in their pants, then they wouldn't be worth my time and effort.

Microfiber

Is it ever okay to forgive a cheater?

Forgive him but bring it up every 2months :laugh:

Seriously though, my ex was a dawg. Each time I forgave him, he only went back out to do it again. He never stopped. Just saying

JJordon

So, let me get this straight, he was walking with his pants down/fly open, he tripped, fell conveniently in-between the apex of your so-called friend's/bridesmaid legs and just kept on repeatedly falling until both of them felt..."better"?

Uh huh.

I know a great bridge that's looking for an owner.

If the bridesmaid is no longer your friend for the same crime, now. Why is he still your man?

It takes two to tango.

The feeling of uncertainty that he could slip up again. Is it worth it for a lifetime? Because that's a serious character flaw.

Once the trust is gone, there is no more relationship. It's just that simple.

Can you trust him around any other woman?

iulia_maddie

Eating ain't cheating! Or so I've heard.

Don't marry him.

SprinkledWithEmotion

With your best friend? Ouch.

Ditch them both.

Cr01502

Good God woman, what did he eat?

My ex-friend/future bridesmaid

If she fits his macros . . . what's the problem?

leahartmann

You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.

Yeah, think twice about that. What does he give as an excuse? Was he drunk? In love? He proposed in december and 3-4 months later he cheats!? What happened in between?

mmddwechanged

There really are thousands of fine men out there who are all perfect for you:). Sometimes it's only the space inbetween relationships that we fear.

WVmom24

I don't think so, really. Maybe under EXTREME circumstances that usually never happen...like if you thought your spouse was dead for years, or if you were date rape drugged or something, lol. But usually, nah. Move on. Of course I'm the type that I believe in open relationships...I acknowledge that just because I love someone and they love me doesn't mean we aren't attracted to others. I think it's hot, in fact. So maybe I'm a bit biased. Deception is the key term....and no I don't think it's forgivable. How many people REALLY only cheat ONCE? .01% of them? It's just not worth the risk to see if you have a diamond in the rough on your hands.

matchbox_girl

He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.

I don't know though....

usernameMAMA

Not a chance in this world. For me personally, even if it was a one time deal (which it rarely ever is) I wouldn't be able to get pass the suspicion any time he was late or with his friends or alone with another woman. It wouldn't be worth the stress. Better to move on and start with a clean slate.

etoiles_argentees

No.

weightedfootsteps

I'd say neither are worth your time. If a friend did that to me, they wouldn't be my friend any longer..no matter what you've been through together..Obviously she doesn't feel as much about you as you do her. For the future husband..kick his sorry butt out of your life. The way I see it once a cheater always a cheater.

I will say..I have stayed single for a very long time. The father of my two girls cheated and lied to me so much that I didn't trust any man for a long time. I'm still single. Not because I can't trust anyone, its because I haven't found anyone worth my time. Hopefully one day that will change.

matchbox_girl

You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.

Yeah, think twice about that. What does he give as an excuse? Was he drunk? In love? He proposed in december and 3-4 months later he cheats!? What happened in between?

He was very drunk. And this "friend" of mine was a woman he'd had feelings for before we started dating. Within the last few months this girl would get drunk with us and then ask my fiance why it had never worked out between them. The last time she did that she thought I was asleep and he said, "I would really prefer to not talk about this. I'm with Amber now and I love her." After he cheated a few months later, he admitted that when she started asking those stupid questions, "conflicting feelings" arose. But once it was done he made the choice to work it out with me....I have no idea what to think about all of it.

sleepygirl38

I think it depends on when it happens in your relationship. If he just proposed in December and then cheated, I would hold off on marrying him. I believe it is up to what you want and if you feel he is worth waiting for him to grow up a tad bit. I would put the wedding on hold and try to work though your feelings first and then see where you want to go from there. But if he is not willing to put the effort in then its not worth it. Also you and him both need to immediately ditch the friend cause she always going to be drama from here on out.

My hubby never cheated but there was a girl who moved in with his parents because she was interested in him. After a year she got the hint and grew up and moved out. However, I made it clear just cause she was a family friend, I could not deal with her at our wedding because I would be focused on her and not my husband. She is always a sour sport when I see her and this is why I suggest you both ditch your friend asap and make it clear to her what she did was wrong and can no longer be apart of your life

iulia_maddie

He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.

I don't know though....

So she gets cut out of your life, but he doesn't? They are both equally guilty. Maybe him even more so, since he was the one who was engaged.
Also, he's frisky when he's drunk and ends up sleeping with other people. Did he give up drinking too? It's very likely that there will be other girls around next time he gets drunk.

JJordon

Always been a true believer in the notion that alcohol doesn't make us into a different person, just shows our base nature, our true colors, if you will.

No wonder I don't drink...

poedunk65

I raelly don;t think this is the place for something like this.