Spousal Cheaters?
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I could not forgive a cheater. I did once when he slept with someone I didn't know but he didn't stop cheating and then cheated with my cousin. I didn't forgive that one.0
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Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
One more chance. If he is seriously sorry, he will move mountains to prove it to you. Every situation is different, but if he wants this to work it will be painfully obvious.0 -
To me it makes a difference if it was a one time thing or a full affair.
It's okay to cheat with a dozen women once, but not with the same woman a dozen times? I'm confused here.0 -
I was actually the one who cheated, with my fiancee. It was a mistake, and I was VERY drunk, but I still knew exactly what I was doing and I was convinced I was going to get (rightfully) dumped.
I didn't, which made me understand that relationships are never black and white. Of course, the reason I cheated was because there was already a rift between my ex and I, and we did eventually break up anyway. But the cheating actually had little impact on our relationship long-term. My ex's father cheated on her mother when she was 8 months pregnant. And her mother decided to take the 5 years of happiness they'd had over the 1 night of cheating, and it never happened again. Second chances shouldn't be expected, but nor should they be wasted or undervalued. Someone who forgives a cheater isn't a chump-- they're a saint.0 -
He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.
I don't know though....
How did you find out about this? Did he just admit it out of guilt?0 -
I was actually the one who cheated, with my fiancee. It was a mistake, and I was VERY drunk, but I still knew exactly what I was doing and I was convinced I was going to get (rightfully) dumped.
I didn't, which made me understand that relationships are never black and white. Of course, the reason I cheated was because there was already a rift between my ex and I, and we did eventually break up anyway. But the cheating actually had little impact on our relationship long-term. My ex's father cheated on her mother when she was 8 months pregnant. And her mother decided to take the 5 years of happiness they'd had over the 1 night of cheating, and it never happened again. Second chances shouldn't be expected, but nor should they be wasted or undervalued. Someone who forgives a cheater isn't a chump-- they're a saint.
So beautiful. Thanks for your perspective.
You're 100% right, nothing is ever black or white.0 -
Once a cheater always a cheater.0
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Did it once....he'll do it again with another excuse next time. This time it was alcohol. What will it be next time because you can be sure there will be a next time. Move on.0
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You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.
Yes, this is right.
Forgiveness and marriage are different things. As an engaged person, you should run, not walk, away. Leave now.
Forgiveness is often good for the soul though and I'd recommend looking into ways in which you can heal from what happened.0 -
He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.
I don't know though....
How did you find out about this? Did he just admit it out of guilt?
I found her underwear in my bedroom.0 -
As much as I adore and love my boyfriend and can't imagine my life without him I would leave him if he cheated on me. Because I know I deserve better and I would eventually find someone who wouldn't dare do that to me.
Of course its different for everyone, some people are so sure of their partner that even if they do cheat they know it won't happen again, or they hope at least. Others don't believe they could find someone to make them happy so they cling onto the cheater so they have someone.
Some may never cheat again, others will continue to do it.
You've just got to weigh up how much of a risk you're willing to take with him. Is he worth it? Do you think you deserved it? could you bet your life that he would never do it again? If you stay with him, could you honestly forgive him? Could you live with him for the rest of your life knowing he cheated that once and he may do it again?0 -
He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.
I don't know though....
How did you find out about this? Did he just admit it out of guilt?
I found her underwear in my bedroom.
I see. I'm thinking that if you had not found evidence of it, it is something they would both still be hiding from you. Ditch him now, and save yourself further heartache.0 -
Omg. NO!
Forgive him but get rid of him, and find someone better!0 -
You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.
This.0 -
I definitely wouldn't marry him, not in the near future anyways. It would be hard for me to date him anymore either, however, because I would always be thinking about it and it would be hard for me to heal from that kind of betrayal. However, it would also be difficult for me to dump him after such a history together. To sum, I'd say cautiously give him a second chance.0
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You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.
^^^This^^^
+1000 -
""I don't think so, really. Maybe under EXTREME circumstances that usually never happen...like if you thought your spouse was dead for years, or if you were date rape drugged or something, lol.
/quote]"
Being raped is not being unfaithful. By the longest stretch of the imagination.0 -
Depends on circumstance.
In this one, I would postpone the wedding and try to forgive if you really think the relationship is worth saving and has been good up to this point.
ETA: I am assuming he's nothing shady in the past. I am also assuming he's genuine in being sorry and cutting her off. If you question that or he's been dishonest in the past -- meh.0 -
So, let me get this straight, he was walking with his pants down/fly open, he tripped, fell conveniently in-between the apex of your so-called friend's/bridesmaid legs and just kept on repeatedly falling until both of them felt..."better"?
Uh huh.
I know a great bridge that's looking for an owner.
If the bridesmaid is no longer your friend for the same crime, now. Why is he still your man?
It takes two to tango.
The feeling of uncertainty that he could slip up again. Is it worth it for a lifetime? Because that's a serious character flaw.
Once the trust is gone, there is no more relationship. It's just that simple.
Can you trust him around any other woman?
Well said, man! This ^^^ is a very blunt answer, but he's right! (IMHO)0 -
22. move on. not that age matters. just saying you are young. enjoy life without drama0
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