CAFFEINE IS A DEADLY TOXIN
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Relatively minor quantities of caffeine, as low as 10 grams - the same weight as four pennies, or two teaspoons of butter for comparison - is a lethal dose.
A shot of espresso has 100mg of caffeine in it! That's one percent of the lethal dose.
Also caffeine has a half life of 5 hours . . . so to get to a lethal dose you would only need to take 100 cups of espresso with an hour or two to keep pace with caffeine's half life.
At two ounces per shot of espresso, that's only 200 ounces of fluid (a little more than a gallon and a half.) MFP recommends eight glasses of water a day and if they're 12 ounce glasses that means that you're only talking about 16 glasses of espresso which is only two times as much as MFP already says you should drink.
If you're not alarmed yet, you will be now - - the water content alone of this quantity of espresso, ingested in this time frame, would cause hyponatremia - - the water dilutes the blood to the point that sodium levels tank and osmotic pressure on the rest of your bodily tissues forces water into them. Your brain swells with this water, and creates crushing pressures in your skull, so you die.
Death, people. Death. There is no business more serious than this business. Please drink responsibly.
With love,
Burt
A shot of espresso has 100mg of caffeine in it! That's one percent of the lethal dose.
Also caffeine has a half life of 5 hours . . . so to get to a lethal dose you would only need to take 100 cups of espresso with an hour or two to keep pace with caffeine's half life.
At two ounces per shot of espresso, that's only 200 ounces of fluid (a little more than a gallon and a half.) MFP recommends eight glasses of water a day and if they're 12 ounce glasses that means that you're only talking about 16 glasses of espresso which is only two times as much as MFP already says you should drink.
If you're not alarmed yet, you will be now - - the water content alone of this quantity of espresso, ingested in this time frame, would cause hyponatremia - - the water dilutes the blood to the point that sodium levels tank and osmotic pressure on the rest of your bodily tissues forces water into them. Your brain swells with this water, and creates crushing pressures in your skull, so you die.
Death, people. Death. There is no business more serious than this business. Please drink responsibly.
With love,
Burt
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Replies
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Everything can be a deadly poison, if the dose is high enough.0
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Seems legit. Drink up! :drinker:0
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I hear air is poison, too. :laugh:0
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I prefer instant coffee. Low dose of caffeine0
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water is also poisonous. Have you ever heard of hyponatremia? It is where water poisons you to death.
That is why I try to stick to diet soda instead.
Beware.0 -
Hmmm... only had 4 oz of espresso today... guess I've got some drinking to do.:drinker:
excuse me while I turn on the Nespresso...0 -
water is also poisonous. Have you ever heard of hyponatremia? It is where water poisons you to death.
That is why I try to stick to diet soda instead.
Beware.
Diet soda actually does contain some sodium so it would help offset hyponatremia. However, there is still the caffeine. The lethal, deadly caffeine.
With love,
Burt0 -
A shot of espresso has 100mg of caffeine in it! That's one percent of the lethal dose.
Also caffeine has a half life of 5 hours . . . so to get to a lethal dose you would only need to take 100 cups of espresso with an hour or two to keep pace with caffeine's half life.
Thank you Burt for this. You are truly a kind and giving man.
I could easily be skirting a lethal dose with the amount I drink...thank you for opening my eyes to the folly of my ways. What can I do to ever repay you?0 -
Didn't read, just wanted to post in this thread to be one of the cool kids.0
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Well, with the amount of caffeine I consume on a weekly basis, I should be writing a will as we speak.
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I only drink decafe hhhmmmm wonder how long I will last...0
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This is even worse:
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
· is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
· contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
· may cause severe burns.
· contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
· accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
· may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
· as an industrial solvent and coolant.
· in nuclear power plants.
· in the production of styrofoam.
· as a fire retardant.
· in many forms of cruel animal research.
· in the distribution of pesticides.
· as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.0 -
I die a little every day... but I'm at least relatively happy.
If I didn't have my coffee... people would likely kill me, and make my ex happy.
So I'll keep caffeinating!
With love,
Mirey0 -
But do they sell caffeine in dime bag quantities? Having it dissolved in beverages is for the weak.0
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But caffeine consumption reduces your chances of committing suicide, another potentially lethal danger that could strike at any time. What to do?0
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I only drink decafe hhhmmmm wonder how long I will last...
decaf is the devil's brew0 -
Why did you share this? Nobody is going to actually read it.This is even worse:
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
· is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
· contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
· may cause severe burns.
· contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
· accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
· may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
· as an industrial solvent and coolant.
· in nuclear power plants.
· in the production of styrofoam.
· as a fire retardant.
· in many forms of cruel animal research.
· in the distribution of pesticides.
· as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.0 -
I'm assuming, from your tone, that you are just being silly and fun. What you say is true of caffeine if introduced directly into the bloodstream without any of those pesky digestive processes involved. Yes, they say the amount of caffeine in one cup of coffee is enough to kill a horse, but... I'm not a horse. There is water diluting the caffeine, my body if diluting and processing it even further and damnit, espresso just tastes good!
Smooches to you, you kind and loving man.0 -
*cue Destiny's Child Survivor song*0
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Oh Gods! This is hysterically funny! Thank you. :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:This is even worse:
BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.
Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.
Dihydrogen monoxide:
· is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
· contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
· may cause severe burns.
· contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
· accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
· may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.
Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!
Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.
Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:
· as an industrial solvent and coolant.
· in nuclear power plants.
· in the production of styrofoam.
· as a fire retardant.
· in many forms of cruel animal research.
· in the distribution of pesticides.
· as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.
Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.
Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!
The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.0
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