CAFFEINE IS A DEADLY TOXIN

Lupercalia

Mmmhmm. I hear ice cream and rat poison are related somehow. What do you think of that?

emsicle_o

Who drinks 100 cups in 1 hour? :laugh:

You can get high off of nutmeg and if the dose is strong enoug (10mg I think but probably wrong) it can kill you. Beware of the nutmeg, it's dangerous stuff!

emsicle_o

cocaine is much better anyway.

ROFL

fatalis_vox

This is even worse:

BAN DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE!
Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there.

Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

Dihydrogen monoxide:

· is also known as hydroxl acid, and is the major component of acid rain.
· contributes to the "greenhouse effect."
· may cause severe burns.
· contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
· accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
· may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
· has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

Contamination is reaching epidemic proportions!

Quantities of dihydrogen monoxide have been found in almost every stream, lake, and reservoir in America today. But the pollution is global, and the contaminant has even been found in Antarctic ice. DHMO has caused millions of dollars of property damage in the midwest, and recently California.

Despite the danger, dihydrogen monoxide is often used:

· as an industrial solvent and coolant.
· in nuclear power plants.
· in the production of styrofoam.
· as a fire retardant.
· in many forms of cruel animal research.
· in the distribution of pesticides.
· as an additive in certain "junk-foods" and other food products.

Even after washing, produce remains contaminated by this chemical.

Companies dump waste DHMO into rivers and the ocean, and nothing can be done to stop them because this practice is still legal. The impact on wildlife is extreme, and we cannot afford to ignore it any longer!

The American government has refused to ban the production, distribution, or use of this damaging chemical due to its "importance to the economic health of this nation." In fact, the navy and other military organizations are conducting experiments with DHMO, and designing multi-billion dollar devices to control and utilize it during warfare situations. Hundreds of military research facilities receive tons of it through a highly sophisticated underground distribution network. Many store large quantities for later use.

Why did you share this? Nobody is going to actually read it.

Fact: I tend to gravitate toward the longer posts more, and skip the shorter posts. My logic is that I'd rather read a well-thought-out response (even if it is an old favourite joke.) than a one-liner that just says "Yeah, I agree!" or "No, you're wrong!" If I'm going to take something on a forum seriously, I want some serious throught to have gone into it. Or...you know...any thought at all. Cheers!

cgarand

Deadly Toxin or Sweet Nectar of the Gods? Oh, glorious caffeine...my only friend.

Wynterbourne

So, am I the only one who's noticed how easily the name BurtHuttz becomes ButtHurtz? Sorry, that combined with an all cap announcement of how I'm poisoning myself makes it hard for me to take the OP seriously.

Well you should.

His name is unfortunate but if you see past it you might learn a thing or two.

Oh, don't worry about me. I am very capable of "seeing past" superfluous items and being open-minded when it's warranted and logical, but I'm sorry I think I'll pass on this one. I read well beyond his name all the way to the end of his post and my decision remains the same. Thank you for your concern regarding my education, though I assure you it's unnecessary. Have a nice day.

neandermagnon

I hear air is poison, too. :laugh:

It is. Oxygen is a highly volatile gas. A 50/50 mix of oxygen and any fuel, including icing sugar (not only is it a carbohydrate (shock horror shock!!!) it can very easily get airborne and mix with the oxygen) is explosive. Many substances corrode (oxidise) in oxygen. Additionally, oxygen is contained in many highly dangerous chemicals, such as hydrogen monoxide, hydrogen peroxide, nitrous oxide, carboxylic acid, formaldehyde and even (horror upon horrors) the dreaded and pernicious carbohydrates.

Carbon dioxide is in the air, and that's highly toxic too, in fact it's deadly. You'll die if you breathe in pure carbon dioxide for any serious length of time.

Nitrogen is the main substance in the air, and that's found in numerous highly volatile toxic substances, such as nitroglycerine. Nitrites oxidise the iron atoms in haemoglobin (what your red blood cells are made of) from ferrous iron to ferric iron, causing them to be unable to carry oxygen any more. In other words nitrites basically corrupt your red blood cells turning them renegade against you and making them refuse to carry oxygen around your blood so you die. DIE I tell you.

That's before you get onto the fact that the air contains various noble gases. Yes, according to scientists noble gases are inert and don't react with anything, and apparently that makes them "harmless" BUT just because no-one's discovered ways in which they could potentially harm you, doesn't make them not harmful. I've yet to come across a scientist who is willing to breathe in 100% concentrations of noble gases for any significant length of time. They all refuse to do that and seem a little afraid. Well these are the people we trust to tell us these trace amounts of noble gases in the air are "harmless".

Additionally, the air in most circumstances contains droplets of the deadly hydrogen monoxide, and I see that some caring, helpful and sensitive soul has already posted a lengthy article about the dangers of that.

We must all stop breathing immediately to protect ourselves from the dangers of nitrogen, oxygen, carbon dioxide and other trace elements, and droplets of hydrogen monoxide.

zombilishious

And I thought my wife was just being nice by offering bring me all these drinks from Starbucks. I think I need a lawyer now.

If she tells you that there is a cask of Amontillado waiting for you in the basement then RUN out of there

For the love of God, Montresor!

Yes, for the love of God.

She's going to brag about it on her death bed...

Where's my coffee?

TheRoadDog

Latter-Day Saints (Mormons)
The LDS restrictions involving coffee and tea are fairly well known, though I'm sure most people don't really know the details behind it. Coffee and tea are specifically prohibited, as written in the Word of Wisdom: "Hot drinks are not for the body or belly" (D&C 89:9) It has been interpreted by the Church that Joseph Smith was referring to coffee and tea with this statement, as they were the only hot drinks commonly available at the time (early 1833). Some LDS members feel this is based on caffeine content, and then also feel that all caffeine is to be avoided. Some feel that the rule should be taken at face value, and therefore only refers to coffee and tea. The LDS church has no official position about caffeinated products other than coffee and tea.
More on the LDS caffeine issue, from the About Latter-Day Saints Guide.

Judaism
There are no specific rules against either coffee or tea in Judaism, except for the broader rules of kosher eating. Both tea and coffee are kosher on their own, but there may be many other considerations to remember when enjoying your cup. One is flavoured coffee. Whether you are using flavoured beans, or adding syrups, you cannot be sure the kosher status of the many ingredients used to make these products. Many syrup manufacturers do offer kosher certified products. Another kosher issue can arise from decaffeinated coffee. Ethyl acetate is one chemical often used in the decaffeination process. One component of ethyl acetate is ethanol, which comes from grain. This would make coffee processed this way not kosher during Passover. There are several other aspects of coffee and tea that fall under kosher rules.
Star-K Kosher Certification has a good article with more information.

Seventh-Day Adventist
The Seventh-Day Adventist's believe strongly in the importance of a healthy and wholesome diet, free from alcohol, narcotics and other stimulants. Caffeine was once officially prohibited, but no longer. It is still recommended that caffeine be avoided.
More on SDA dietary guidelines


Rastafarianism
Like the Seventh-Day Adventist's, the Rastafarians follow a pure and wholesome diet. This excludes coffee, alcohol, salt, tobacco, meat and other processed foods. The foods eaten by Rastafarians (grains, fruits, vegetables) are all "ital" foods

andyisandy

Good thing i just huff glue every morning

LaLouve_RK

Guess the OP didnt see the latest research that say that one cup of coffee per day is good for the health...

lithezebra

Guess the OP didnt see the latest research that say that one cup of coffee per day is good for the health...

There's an even better study that shows that more is better.

BurtHuttz

Guess the OP didnt see the latest research that say that one cup of coffee per day is good for the health...

"Hey did you know ice cream is really good for you, lots of calcium."
"Hey apparently ice cream isn't good for you, too much sugar, not enough calcium."

twiggypal

eat this...dont eat that. care...dont care..... i dont care

SlickFootAnna

It is???


Well, then, just IV that deadly toxin into my arm!!!

KCoolBeanz

The only way caffeine is deadly, is if I don't get enough of it in the morning. Existence then becomes unsafe for others around me.

neandermagnon

Mmmhmm. I hear ice cream and rat poison are related somehow. What do you think of that?

8 out of 10 murderers say their victims prefer it... (i.e. ice cream laced with arsenic... it adds a subtle almond flavour apparently...)

neandermagnon

The only way caffeine is deadly, is if I don't get enough of it in the morning. Existence then becomes unsafe for others around me.

SO TRUE!!!!!!!!

This is totally my experience too!

olDave

Lol...too funny!

nolachick

Relatively minor quantities of caffeine, as low as 10 grams - the same weight as four pennies, or two teaspoons of butter for comparison - is a lethal dose.

A shot of espresso has 100mg of caffeine in it! That's one percent of the lethal dose.
Also caffeine has a half life of 5 hours . . . so to get to a lethal dose you would only need to take 100 cups of espresso with an hour or two to keep pace with caffeine's half life.

At two ounces per shot of espresso, that's only 200 ounces of fluid (a little more than a gallon and a half.) MFP recommends eight glasses of water a day and if they're 12 ounce glasses that means that you're only talking about 16 glasses of espresso which is only two times as much as MFP already says you should drink.

If you're not alarmed yet, you will be now - - the water content alone of this quantity of espresso, ingested in this time frame, would cause hyponatremia - - the water dilutes the blood to the point that sodium levels tank and osmotic pressure on the rest of your bodily tissues forces water into them. Your brain swells with this water, and creates crushing pressures in your skull, so you die.

Death, people. Death. There is no business more serious than this business. Please drink responsibly.

With love,
Burt

dude this is so funny it made my eyes water hahahahaha