Call All Those Who Have Been Cheated On!

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  • hcoburn37
    hcoburn37 Posts: 442 Member
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    I had no idea until after we seperated and he decided to "come clean so we can have a fresh start" He had been cheating for 3 years. I really did not have any idea what-so-ever. He never had a chance for the fresh start, but has been trying for the last 2 years to come back.
  • CEHayes73
    CEHayes73 Posts: 221 Member
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    I knew. I confronted him, multiple times, and gave him the benefit of the doubt when he lied to my face, but when her husband found out and told me, it was confirmation, not news.
  • DonnaLeeCattes
    DonnaLeeCattes Posts: 492 Member
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    My ex was screwing his co-worker for 5 years and yeah I knew. With him messing with her he never bothered me for any screwing....and I was alright with that!
  • dezcast
    dezcast Posts: 429 Member
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    I knew...and know... it's pretty easy to figure out. lol
  • 4nascimento
    4nascimento Posts: 5 Member
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    All of a sudden he HAD to have new underwear.
  • merseyblue
    merseyblue Posts: 37 Member
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    I knew. He was a crap liar. Well rid :)
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I have always heard (especially for women) that if your SO is cheating you will know, whether you want to believe it or not. I'm just curious to know if this is actually true. So if you have been cheated on by a spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend, or whatever else did you know?

    I did not know. I was completely blindsided. I never saw it coming, looking back there were signs but none that I recognized at the time.
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
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    having been the cheater and the cheatee, I'll never be the cheater again. hopefully my future partners feel the same way.
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
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    I knew, but he insisted on telling me.

    Like, he went out to the bar after work, got drunk, got into A Situation, came home and woke me up to tell me. I think it was 2:30 in the morning.

    "I cheated on you."
    "Awesome, can we talk about this in the morning? I'm sleeping."
    "No, this is serious, I CHEATED ON YOU."
    "Right, and there's nothing I can do about it now, so can I go back to sleep?"
    "I. Cheated. On. You."
    "Oh, well, fine then, let me get up and scream at you so you feel better about your crappy choices."

    The next day when it really sank in, it hurt of course, but I think I'm still irritated at his need to inform me in the middle of effin night. Sheesh.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
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    I knew...

    So let's be honest here for a minute... we all know when it happens. We either choose to ignore the signs, make excuses why those signs don't mean he/she is really cheating, know and do everything we can to fix it, or know & accept and just don't care.

    I allowed it to continue 3 times because growing up with divorced parents that hated each other, I didn't want to do the same to my kids. I fought each time to save the marriage, until it just wasn't worth saving any longer. The day I made the decision that I was done was one of the happiest of my life, a HUGE weight was lifted and I finally felt alive again! And you know what, my kids are MUCH happier now because they know I am happier.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
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    A woman's intuition is never wrong. I knew...I could probably pinpoint the time and day he started. For 3 months I just KNEW it wasn't right. It wasn't. Never ignore red flags, intuition and don't rationalize multiple sketchy incidents as "coincidence"...it's not.

    Because all women are automatically more perceptive than all men? Sorry, I don't buy it.
  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
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    A woman's intuition is never wrong. I knew...I could probably pinpoint the time and day he started. For 3 months I just KNEW it wasn't right. It wasn't. Never ignore red flags, intuition and don't rationalize multiple sketchy incidents as "coincidence"...it's not.

    Because all women are automatically more perceptive than all men? Sorry, I don't buy it.

    I don't think it is strictly woman's intuition... I think it is the fact that you know your partner. Man/woman doesn't matter your gender, you know when something is off!
  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
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    Yeah I knew. I could tell something was wrong, followed through with those instincts till I found a text message..... it tore me in half. I actually had anxiety attacks after that to the point I was shaking all the time. We are all good now, and this was almost 3 years ago... but damn..... I never want anyone to have to go through that. I even asked him if he'd ever cheat on me about a week before I found the text. He said "never in my life" ....... I asked him several times & when the person would call he would pretend it was our mutual friend calling. He would even say "hi Chris" on the phone call.... o the woman knew he was doing wrong. I knew who she was as well.... let me tell you...I threatened to kill her over the phone, left her a message at 2am telling her I' come & kill her & to stay away. Funny she never called again or sent a text.... I knew where she lives, she dont know where we live... she will get her's one day..... I'll happily go to prison for murdering her. Her husband was not happy either.... they got divorced & she was crying the victim.....*****.

    "I'll happily go to prison for murdering her. Her husband was not happy either.... they got divorced & she was crying the victim....."

    Uhmmm. wow. So resorting to murder is an okay response to infidelity? I hope you are being hyperbolic because that sentiment is messed up on so many levels.

    Nope being deadly serious. I don't care, you try to mess with MY family or take MY man.... I'll take YOUR life. Simple as that.

    Are we on the set of some 'made-for-television' movie here? What complete ignorance - on so many levels, I cannot even begin to fathom it. OK, then - you keep on with the 'Protect and Kill for my family' attitude. I can't imagine you can possibly extropolate all the logic fails of your sentiment - but pretty scary to see someone proudly defend murder as a justified response to infidelity.
  • DonnaLeeCattes
    DonnaLeeCattes Posts: 492 Member
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    Yeah I knew. I could tell something was wrong, followed through with those instincts till I found a text message..... it tore me in half. I actually had anxiety attacks after that to the point I was shaking all the time. We are all good now, and this was almost 3 years ago... but damn..... I never want anyone to have to go through that. I even asked him if he'd ever cheat on me about a week before I found the text. He said "never in my life" ....... I asked him several times & when the person would call he would pretend it was our mutual friend calling. He would even say "hi Chris" on the phone call.... o the woman knew he was doing wrong. I knew who she was as well.... let me tell you...I threatened to kill her over the phone, left her a message at 2am telling her I' come & kill her & to stay away. Funny she never called again or sent a text.... I knew where she lives, she dont know where we live... she will get her's one day..... I'll happily go to prison for murdering her. Her husband was not happy either.... they got divorced & she was crying the victim.....*****.

    "I'll happily go to prison for murdering her. Her husband was not happy either.... they got divorced & she was crying the victim....."

    Uhmmm. wow. So resorting to murder is an okay response to infidelity? I hope you are being hyperbolic because that sentiment is messed up on so many levels.

    Nope being deadly serious. I don't care, you try to mess with MY family or take MY man.... I'll take YOUR life. Simple as that.

    Are we on the set of some 'made-for-television' movie here? What complete ignorance - on so many levels, I cannot even begin to fathom it. OK, then - you keep on with the 'Protect and Kill for my family' attitude. I can't imagine you can possibly extropolate all the logic fails of your sentiment - but pretty scary to see someone proudly defend murder as a justified response to infidelity.

    There isn't NO man or woman worth going to jail over!
  • footiechick82
    footiechick82 Posts: 1,203 Member
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    I had an ex that did it all the time... I was young and really stupid! He told me at one point that he had cheated on me when we weren't together after his dad passed away and he "promised" me it wouldn't happen again...

    I was dumb enough to take him back :noway:

    Anyway... after 4 1/2 years of on and off BS and :brokenheart: - enough was enough!
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
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    Nope being deadly serious. I don't care, you try to mess with MY family or take MY man.... I'll take YOUR life. Simple as that.
    Shh, your insecurity is showing. You don't actually own him, believe it or not. Even if he says you do.
  • MandaPaigeSparkles88
    MandaPaigeSparkles88 Posts: 1,289 Member
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    My ex husband cheated on me with a 19 year old. We all worked together. I knew from the moment that little b!tch got there she was messing with him. It was a gut feeling that I had and plus having a few great friends tell me was always a plus too.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
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    I don't so much know that you can say "I just knew", but at some point things aren't just right and don't add up so you start being more observant and snooping. My ex went from one extreme to the other. He was over compensating and wanting sex more than usual but then he also started being very hateful and started making remarks that he never would have made previously to me about things that I was doing to try to be helpful.

    My ex had even gone as far as getting a tracfone to communicate with his *kitten* so that I wouldn't be able to find anything on our cell phone records. He was a super sneaky SOB. Eventually even the sneakiest get caught though. :)
  • Raynne413
    Raynne413 Posts: 1,527 Member
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    I knew. I think if feel that something is wrong, you just know it. But don't use that feeling as an excuse to snoop, be nosey, go through their phones, email, etc. If you have that feeling, generally it's for a reason. You don't need to get "proof". Just move on.

    I'm finally with someone that I trust completely. I know what he uses for most of his passwords, he even leaves a sheet around with his information on it, and I have never once used that information. Apparently, he trusts me completely as well. :-D
  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
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    Yeah. Gut feeling.

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