Beautiful Best Friend

FireEngineRedHead
FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
in Chit-Chat
I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

*Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.
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Replies

  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.

    give her my phone number. tell her i'm a French model.

    Dimon-State-Farm-300x259.png

    :bigsmile:
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    Why do you feel so threatened?
  • InnerConflict
    InnerConflict Posts: 1,592 Member
    We need some pictures of her to help us formulate our opinions.
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
    We need some pictures of her to help us formulate our opinions.

    I agree.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    I think you have nothing to worry about aside from maybe gaining some confidence, because you are cute and gorgeous. Think sexy girl nextdoor.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
    Why do you feel so threatened?

    That's the thing. I don't. But it kinda sucks, like when it's an every day kinda consistent thing. Like she gets told by random strangers that she is gorgeous all the time, and I'm standing there awkwardly like... oh... ok. She knows. Promise. You aren't the first and sure as hell won't be the last.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Some people just seem to have it all. It's ok, it's no reflection on the rest of us. I can understand why you would be jealous, but I'm sure she has her own problems and things she's jealous of.
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,241 Member
    Sounds like she's not truly your "best friend" if you view her in this manner. Best friends trust each other, lean on each other, etc. They don't necessarily go on the net and post about how awful it is to be friends with this awesome gorgeous person because they feel threatened by the beauty and awesomeness. That's just sad, actually.
  • hieunoob
    hieunoob Posts: 2
    Unless she's actively putting you down, I think you have to take a look and see where the problem here resides. If it's your insecurities, shore them up and stop comparing yourself. If she's really your best friend, get over it because she probably loves you dearly as you ought to her. She can't help these things you've listed about her.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
    If you are dead serious about pictures message me. I'm not going to post them here on fear she'll see it (not like she needs to lose weight) >.<
    But i'd appreciate you not messaging me back like "OH NOW I GET IT! YOU LOOK HIDEOUS NEXT TO HER!"


    I have talked to her about this, in long deep crying best friend conversation. She cried, because she doesn't want me to feel that way. Neither of us can help it, I guess. I AM insecure, that doesn't mean that if I had all the confidence in the world that this situation still wouldn't be hurtful.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Wow! I'm not trying to be harsh here, but you are obviously the one with the problem. Why would you consider cutting someone out of your life because of your jealousy, envy, or whatever you want to call it?

    I think you really need to work on your own self-esteem, stop comparing yourself to her, and appreciate that you have a lifelong friend that will never leave your side. Those are few and far between, you know.

    Edited to add - She might have a classic beauty, but you have a unique beauty and you need to learn to appreciate it.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
    I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.
    luls. I tend to like having wonderful people in my life. If I have a problem with someone based on appearances, I think it's time to smarten up. I have very few girlfriends. They tend to get significantly more attention from boys then I do. I'm ok with this. Even though it takes several men to handle me at a time, I can only handle one at a time anyhow :tongue:

    There's always going to be someone better then you. Easier said then done, but I'd try to think about things a little differently if I were you.

    Quotes:
    "Change your thoughts to change your attitude at any given time. Positive thoughts will make room for a positive attitude!"
    "Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
    "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude."
    "If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good situation, don't worry it'll change."
    "You may not be able to change a situation, but with humor you can change your attitude about it."

    Seriously I was incredibly hard on myself when I was younger. It wasn't productive. A little light helped me see things under a different light.
  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
    What? Why? You need to work on realizing why you are so awesome instead of focusing and comparing yourself to your best friend.

    Who cares if people gawk at her and tell her she is beautiful. Big fkning deal. Get over it and appreciate how wonderful you are.
  • Dyann_Alvarez
    Dyann_Alvarez Posts: 61 Member
    Girl! You're a REDHEAD! You're the one they're looking at! 'Nuff said.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.
  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    :noway:
  • Ashley_Panda
    Ashley_Panda Posts: 1,404 Member
    Gah, story of my life.
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.

    Fake it til you make it!! Seriously :)
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.

    you can. it's called alcohol.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    You should do what everyone's partner's and coworkes on here do:

    Sabatoge her by lowering her self esteem and over feeding her
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.

    This man has a point... and he knows beautiful women! Just check out his FL. :wink: :laugh:
  • rsdgirl
    rsdgirl Posts: 241 Member
    my bestest friend ever is just like you are describing GORGEOUS and i mean it. BUT i love her and wouldnt change a thing about her. she is gorgeous inside and out and i love her much
  • _Elemenopee_
    _Elemenopee_ Posts: 2,665 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.

    Maybe you can't buy confidence at the store but you sure as hell won't find the answer you seek HERE. Unless this is exactly what you were seeking. Look, everyone is paying attention to you now.

    That may seem harsh but it's how it's coming across.

    ETA: You ARE beautiful.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
    If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.

    Yesterday I was on her facebook messaging her and one guy I work with was like HOLY **** WHO IS THAT and they all crowded around my computer staring at her... so my projection must be widely shared.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.

    You are only as beautiful as you perceive yourself. And remember that beauty is NOT only skin-deep.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    What you are never going to look like: your best friend.

    What you are always going to look like: you.

    Life's too short to want or worry about what you will never be. Embrace your beauty!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.

    Yesterday I was on her facebook messaging her and one guy I work with was like HOLY **** WHO IS THAT and they all crowded around my computer staring at her... so my projection must be widely shared.

    You know... you should talk to her about this. I'm sure she would tell you that getting that type of attention all the time isn't as great as you think it is.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
    sounds like you need to work on your self esteem.
    not wanting to be friends with someone because they're better looking than you...
    yeah i don't even know how to respond to that.
    and from what you said she knows it bothers you, but there's really nothing she can do about it if she has natural beauty.
    i'm sure she loves you and accepts you for who you are, and you need to do the same, or that isn't a very good best friend to be. (you not her)
    pretty much what i am trying to say in a nicer way, is deal with it. we all can't be gorgeous.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.

    everyone has their own insecurities. I did for a LONG time and it took me changing my lifestyle and seeing my self worth before I got it back. That, and getting out of a toxic relationship helped. Also, I am certain I paid you a very nice compliment.

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