Beautiful Best Friend

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  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.

    Yesterday I was on her facebook messaging her and one guy I work with was like HOLY **** WHO IS THAT and they all crowded around my computer staring at her... so my projection must be widely shared.

    You know... you should talk to her about this. I'm sure she would tell you that getting that type of attention all the time isn't as great as you think it is.

    That last sentence is actually VERY true. You have no idea how it makes her feel. Maybe sometimes she doesn't want to be recognized or stared at.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    What you are never going to look like: your best friend.

    What you are always going to look like: you.

    Life's too short to want or worry about what you will never be. Embrace your beauty!

    I don't know why, but that helped.

    :flowerforyou:
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    You are beautiful. Stop worrying about the attention your friend gets. That's just ridiculous. Work on yourself.
    If you don't get the attention you want in real life, you are probably projecting this sour attitude and jealous.
    Instead of confidence.
  • IntoTheSky
    IntoTheSky Posts: 390 Member
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    Perhaps she IS that beautiful, but, that is not something that she can control, and to consider dropping a life long friend for a good genetic hand, is ugly. You are not an unattractive woman, and should not feel inferior. Part of the reason for her attention, is probably how laid back she comes across. You can admire her for hers, but, you need to learn your OWN worth and cherish it and see your positives a bit more. But, jealousy is not becoming of anyone. And the quickest way to ruin a pretty face is with an ugly action.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    You don't know how she feels about this either, she's probably sick to the back teeth of people telling her she's pretty, she probably attracts a 'certain type of man' who is interested in her physicality and maybe not the rest, she has been looking at herself every day for however many years she's been on the planet and I'll wager she sees flaws just like everybody else sees in themselves. If she's a good friend to you do her a favour and look past what she looks like because it seems nobody else does!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    What you are never going to look like: your best friend.

    What you are always going to look like: you.

    Life's too short to want or worry about what you will never be. Embrace your beauty!

    I don't know why, but that helped.

    Don't know if you are religious, but the serenity prayer really helped me a lot in life once I learned it.

    "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannont change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

    If you're not religious, then take God out of that sentence and replace it with whatever you believe in.
  • sensitivetobees
    sensitivetobees Posts: 8
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    Okay, I'll try to be helpful here. Yes, obviously, the situation shows a lack of confidence on your part. That isn't going to go away by quitting hanging out with her. But I get it. I was one of three sisters and guess who was the chubby one? Me by a long shot. I also had the tendency to be best friends with girls who were super slim. Oh, and did I mention that I was also an athlete? Which means I got to be the chubby (strong, yes, powerful, yes, but chubby) one on a basketball team of nothing but slim, lithe gorgeous girls. Or at least, that was my perception. In college, I had a friend who attracted male attention without even trying. I GET IT when you say that being with them makes you feel bad about yourself. I don't think it means you are a bad person or not a good friend. But honestly, if she is the kind of friend who you can discuss this kind of thing with and have her cry with you.... she's a friend worth keeping.

    She may not even want the attention (maybe she does, I don't know). My sister certainly doesn't. She is 5'10", a former soccer player, and gorgeous. She also feels really uncomfortable when people comment on it. Regardless of if she is wanting the attention or not, you might be losing a really good friend. I don't know how to tell you to work on your self-esteem. It's a hard issue. But... here's a quote I read a couple days ago that really struck a chord with me...

    "God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add, God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. As a result, we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf
  • logicman69
    logicman69 Posts: 1,034 Member
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    Your pretty damn hot yourself. :love: :flowerforyou:
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    If you can't be friends with someone because of your insecurities, that's on you.

    Don't make her feel badly about your jealousy issues. Totally unfair.
  • Alidecker
    Alidecker Posts: 1,262 Member
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    Could you be OK ditching your best friend? Just take the cast offs and go with it.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    I don't know what the problem is. I've had lots of gorgeous friends in my lifetime. I would consider myself average looking, but I always found that I got more attention from guys when I was dressed down with no make up. It was because I was relaxed and being myself instead of trying to be something I wasn't. You will be most confident when you are feeling comfortable. Maybe try going out with her and don't try so hard to compete with her alleged natural beauty. I know this sounds dumb, but it really works. I met my husband when I was bartending at a fine dining restaurant wearing a man's freaking tuxedo outfit. I did have makeup on but had been working for 10 hours or more already so I am sure it was smeary and disgusting. He liked me for my confidence and personality.
  • Goldenwoof
    Goldenwoof Posts: 535 Member
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    Kinda surprising, looking at your pictures. You're a beautiful girl, yourself.

    I used to have a similar situation to yours. I hung out with this guy all the time who the women absolutely LOVED. I never got a look my way when I hung out with him. It was frustrating, sure, but I just accepted it for what it was. I just focused on the good times I had hanging out with him, and didn't much care about whether or not I met any women when we hung out. I saved that for the times I hung out with my uglier friends. ;)
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    We need some pictures of her to help us formulate our opinions.

    This
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,141 Member
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    It must be so nice for some of you to come on here and be like "get confidence" like I can buy it at the drug store or something.
    [/quote

    I'd say if you're confident enough to put up pic like that in your avatar then you do have confidence....you just feel inferior around your friend because you're expecting the same old.

    It's not your friends 'fault' she's attractive and gets so much attention, if she's truly your best friend this shouldn't be such a problem.












































    Oh I hate it when I write in the quote box :grumble:
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    It's like when you date someone who is WAYYY hotter than you are and youre like, hey I must be doing something right. Just feel happy that she is your friend. If you are basing your friendships on how the other person looks, it must not be a real friendship.
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    all kidding aside... it's a trap to compare yourself against other people. the internal voice that wants you to do that is a voice you need to learn to ignore. it never tells you the truth.
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
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    i guess its time to get a new, not as smart, not a pretty best friend....to her you could be the grenade...
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Oh I hate it when I write in the quote box :grumble:

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    When I was young, I felt that way with my best friend.

    and while my self esteem isn't perfect and at the time, her self esteem was SO much better than mine that I think that is what everyone reacted to.

    but now....now that i'm older and wiser I see the truth...she's just a girl. and I'm just a girl.

    she was just more confident at the time and that gave her a shine I simply did not have.

    that's all.

    But man....at the time, I really did believe she had it all, and I had none of it.

    and I wasted time believing that....

    and she hurt for me.

    If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in her. If she's so perfect and picked you for a friend...trust in that...she knows what she sees and it's beautiful to her. Otherwise why would you be her bestie?

    truth.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Frankly, I'm wondering what your best friend sees in you.

    Sorry that sounds mean... it's intended to be. But perhaps you need to hear that in order to be a true friend and stop caring that she's getting more attention from men than you. There's more to life.

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