Beautiful Best Friend
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My best friend has been my best friend for 27 years. She modeled and was tall chesty and beautiful. Was I jealous of her? A bit, not that I would ever let that affect our relationship. Did it suck to go to the bar and have every guy be like "DAMN" and look through me? Sometimes, but she was and is the bomb! My fellas always were honest about her attractiveness but were loyal to me. I found true love and does he think she is gorgeous? Of course. Would he touch her? Not without my permission!!! LOL
Anyway, 27 years later, I have aged quite nicely and I think I am the more attractive at this age, but she is still the bomb! Wouldnt trade her for a perfect body!0 -
Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.0 -
People look the way they look. You can't change your looks, she can't change hers, you can't change what other people see either. If when you go out and her attention is still with you, you should merely mirror that back. When you find a friendship that is worth it, you make it work.0
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When I was young, I felt that way with my best friend.
and while my self esteem isn't perfect and at the time, her self esteem was SO much better than mine that I think that is what everyone reacted to.
but now....now that i'm older and wiser I see the truth...she's just a girl. and I'm just a girl.
she was just more confident at the time and that gave her a shine I simply did not have.
that's all.
But man....at the time, I really did believe she had it all, and I had none of it.
and I wasted time believing that....
and she hurt for me.
If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in her. If she's so perfect and picked you for a friend...trust in that...she knows what she sees and it's beautiful to her. Otherwise why would you be her bestie?
truth.
Truer words have never been spoken.
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Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
I really didn't see that much trolling in this thread. Why do you insist on holding on to a bad self-image?
I hate to say it because I say this in so many threads, but you need to get some psychological help on this.0 -
I can't believe you would seriously consider dumping your lifelong best friend not because of anything she did, or anything she has control over, but because she's prettier than you. Do you agree that sounds incredibly childish?0
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I had a friend who I felt was drop dead gorgeous. Had the nicest clothes hair nails. And I ALWAYS felt like an ugly duckling beside her. One day I said to her...how do you manage to be so gorgeous and perfect all the time? You must be exhausted!
And she was.
You see... she felt insecure with me and felt that she had to dress up to be comfy with me. And I with her.
We laughed and now, we are free to be us. Sometimes I'm not wearing makeup, or I'm in grubbies... sometimes she is... and NEITHER of us care anymore!
If she is your BF, then talk to her and stop caring about the superficial.
AND NEVER EVER EVER SEND HER PICS OUT!!!0 -
Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
Uh oh . . . you and I probably wouldn't get along then. :indifferent:0 -
It hurts your feelings that she's naturally beautiful?! No wonder she cries when you talk to her about how you question your friendship.... I would be so embarrassed and ashamed of myself if my best friend came to me and said, "I love you so much, you're smart and funny... but you're just too pretty to be friends with." HOW HURTFUL.
Listen, cupcake, this problem is all you, and I suggest you see a good therapist about it. You're a very good looking girl, but insecurities like this aren't pretty.0 -
Awww sweetie.
I went to high school in Singapore. I was a size 6 white girl, friends with a bunch of size 0 Asian goddesses. One in particular, one I was really close to, got ALL the attention. I got none. It affected me to the point that I became horribly depressed and eventually had to go on meds. Eventually I got better, learned to feel better about myself, started dating someone... But here's what I learned that I wish someone had told me back then:
That guy I started dating was not Brad Pitt. I didn't even NOTICE what he looked like until my friends brought it up (exact words: "He's a bug-eyed freak!"); I was too infatuated with him being an awesome person. To this day, I still do the same thing - I meet a guy, I connect with him, someone later tells me he's pretty attractive or he looks weird or whatever. I don't care. Him being sexy is not anywhere close to the important part. And I would much, much rather have someone be interested in me because they feel that way about me than because they think I'm hot. (Though, of course, it's nice if they do, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if I thought he was all that. And I usually do. Love is amazingly blind.) What some random stranger says to me (or my friend) is so completely pointless - that person doesn't know me (or my friend) and how beautiful I am (or she is) on the inside.
Oh, and through my depression and cutting and hating myself and crying every night and wanting to kill myself, my pretty friend was one of the most supportive, caring, and kind people I've ever had the honor of knowing. My issue was with myself, not with her, and I don't think I would have gotten through that phase without her. Don't push your friend away.0 -
*Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.
And she chose YOU as a best friend. That must imply some really great things about you, don't you think? Just sayin'.0 -
Here's a story - when I was younger, my BF was the "pretty one", the one that had the perfect blonde hair (feathered too, cause that's how we rolled back in the day), the one that got the attention from all the guys.
Today, I'm glad I'm not her. She's had a rough go with life and is absolutely miserable.
Moral of the story: Just 'cause you're the "prettier one" doesn't mean you are or will be the happy, content one.0 -
Look at the the big picture. You're probably better looking than nearly much everyone else around you, so maybe focus on *that*, rather than the tiny few that aren't. Enjoy it while you're young.0
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Man, I feel you. My BFF is definitely objectively more attractive than I am. I certainly don't fault her for this. I don't feel negative things towards her. I always want to hang out with her regardless. But it is hard.
Ultimately, I can recognize that it's my own lack of self confidence that leads me to feel jealous of her, or to feel the need to compare myself to her at all, but like you said, it's not as easy as just snapping your fingers and suddenly being confident.
I don't know what the solution is, other than just working towards realizing that you are beautiful and amazing, and telling yourself that even if you don't necessarily feel it. The culture that we live in idealizes a very narrow standard of beauty, and the reality is that most people don't fit into this "ideal." I definitely struggle with feeling confident, and I think that people who are naturally self confident have trouble understanding.
I don't know what I'm trying to say, just that I know how you feel, and I don't know you, but I'm sure that you are amazing, so keep reminding yourself of that.0 -
Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
Please don't take it wrong. Sorry for all the people being mean to you. But a lot are genuinely trying to help you. Focus on that.0 -
As one of "those girls" I have to say your friend in all likelihood has her own concerns and insecurities - we're all just people who are (hopefully) trying to learn and grow and be the best people we can be. Try to give her a break on things that aren't her "fault".
As for me, I have had strangers (men and women) stop me on the street and compliment my hair or my eyes or even (weird) offer me candy amidst these compliments. I have had this happen even when wearing sweats (that time was in a dark parking lot after getting dropped off by my bus), or when I've been working all day and I think I look like **** (that happened once when a guy from the subway started to follow me home in the middle of the night). It's really not that fun to get this kind of attention. This is why I carry pepper spray at all times - being followed by wackadoos is most definitely not cool.
I'm not looking for any sympathy (poor me and my good genetics!) I know I'm fortunate to have good genes - everyone in my family is attractive - but that doesn't mean I'm perfect in any way. I most definitely am not, which is why I'm here trying to improve myself. So I'm just posting to give another point of view - YOU may think your friend is gorgeous and perfect and whatever, but you probably also have some stuff going for you that SHE envies. Try to embrace the things that make YOU special and unique instead of feeling like you'd be better off with what she has. Strive to be the best person YOU can be. You'll be happier. And if you can put aside superficial things, you can have a better friendship with this other girl. If she's as nice and as special as you say, then she sounds like a good person to have in your life - don't take that for granted, as really good friends are very hard to find.0 -
Say your a crazy basketball player dude. And you're better then everyone around you and aspire to play in the NBA. And you get there. And now you're considered ****. Shouldn't you still be absolutely thrilled that you're better in basketball then most of the people in the world?
Or you know, you could move to somewhere with lots of people you consider ugly. That'll be the life.0 -
*Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.
And she chose YOU as a best friend. That must imply some really great things about you, don't you think? Just sayin'.
I love you. Thank you for actually saying something helpful. This helped.0 -
if you were really best friends, you wouldn't be threatened or even consider dropping her.0
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Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
Uh oh . . . you and I probably wouldn't get along then. :indifferent:
yeah I am with him on that one...feel free to add me tho0 -
Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
WTF??? I gave you good advice.
Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatevs.
I'm offended. That's what I get for being nice. I get called a "troll"
OFFENNNDDEEEDDDDDDD0 -
I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?
*Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.
meh, I'd go after you just make her jealous and thus more vulnerable to my charms.0 -
If it makes you feel any better, I would totally smash you. and your friend. at the same time.
not that I'm your type or anything, just sayin.0 -
Just ask her on a date and be done with the insecurities :happy:0
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Here's a cliche: beauty is only skin deep. yeah most of us are here to improve our skin and what's under it, but true friendship needs to go beyond that. She doesn't see you as beneath her looks, or at least it doesn't matter to her as much as it apparently does you.
So while many of us are still a physical work in progress, here's something to keep in mind:
:flowerforyou:You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong. Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead. --Pink0 -
Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
Totally not trolling, I think you need to work on your self confidence. I looked at your profile pics and you are not an ugly person - you are quite pretty actually. The people may be drawn to her because she is radiant with confidence and self worth, along with being pretty and smart etc.
I know from experience you draw in people with confidence - males and females like confident people, they do not want to tell anyone that they are worthy, once and a while is good but if you have a low self esteem or are less confident (not saying you are but this post really reads that you may be) they may feel you will need constant reassurance and that gets very tiring.
I say work on self love, and beign confident and you will be ahead of the game - honest!
Don't let the forums get to you, some times the "bad things" are just people who are trying to be funny/or give advice but they are not eloquent with words and the haha or advice comes across as not so nice.0 -
My best friend from age 15 - when she moved down here she was this tall girl who dressed like a dude (it was the 90s, we all wore baggy pants and oversized shirts...real sexy) and then the next year, she's modeling.
MODELING
She's tall, exotic looking, especially standing next to my white bread with mayo lookin' self, speaks 2 languages, had to teach me how to wear heels, apply makeup, and hold chopsticks. Everywhere we went, it was all about her. I'm like 5'2, she's 5'7 and she'd wear HEELS so I looked like a small child following a celebrity. We ate for free, got into clubs, hung out with people ...I don't even know why they were important, but they were wealthy. She dated a famous baseball player (who -it turns out- was married oops!) An artist did a painting of her and then we went to the gallery when they were showing his work. I had just had a baby (I was 19 then) so I never felt homlier in my life. I remember thinking, "holy *kitten*, why is she hanging out with me?"
Just telling you all of this because of that last thought. She never looked at me the way I looked at myself. She always saw me as her equal, and she treated me that way. None of my friends love me the way she does. She left the set of a movie to come be with me while I delivered my 1st son. She's such a wonderful person. She's still my best friend 20 years later. She thinks I'm the smartest person, and knows she can talk to me when she needs encouragement. I'm happy for all that she achieved when we were young. She went to school, she traveled. She won Miss Peru back in the 90s. She was also in an awful car accident that pretty much changed everything. She is thankful to have had those experiences, because life is way different now.
So, I'm saying - be good to your best friend. She will probably stick around forever. Learn to play up what you have. Let her help you if she's inclined to. Be happy that you're her friend, and don't ever think of dropping her over how you think she has more. One day you'll both be old ladies laughing about how she got you into everything for free. ....or about how you both ripped off a psychic (really, he should've seen it coming).0 -
I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's highly inaccurate. You got a lot of very good and honest advice in this thread.Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.0 -
FireEngineRed:
It's hard to live in the shadow of others. If it bothers you so much, maybe you need to do some hanging out with another set of friends that you do not feel so inferior to. It will help boost your confidence. I would not discard your old friend, but maybe you need some space to come out of your shell on your own.
All I can say from your pictures is that you are prettier than most women. Any guy would be proud to have a girl that looked as good as you do.
As I age, I realize two things: We aren't all super models, and we all succumb to old age anyway.
Revel in your youth. You are beautiful.0 -
Hey, OP, I'm sorry you feel bad. Please seek out counseling so you can feel good.0
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