Beautiful Best Friend

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  • bethgames
    bethgames Posts: 534 Member
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    My best friend has been my best friend for 27 years. She modeled and was tall chesty and beautiful. Was I jealous of her? A bit, not that I would ever let that affect our relationship. Did it suck to go to the bar and have every guy be like "DAMN" and look through me? Sometimes, but she was and is the bomb! My fellas always were honest about her attractiveness but were loyal to me. I found true love and does he think she is gorgeous? Of course. Would he touch her? Not without my permission!!! LOL

    Anyway, 27 years later, I have aged quite nicely and I think I am the more attractive at this age, but she is still the bomb! Wouldnt trade her for a perfect body!
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
  • Grundle_Raspberries
    Grundle_Raspberries Posts: 94
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    People look the way they look. You can't change your looks, she can't change hers, you can't change what other people see either. If when you go out and her attention is still with you, you should merely mirror that back. When you find a friendship that is worth it, you make it work.
  • Mainebikerchick
    Mainebikerchick Posts: 1,573 Member
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    When I was young, I felt that way with my best friend.

    and while my self esteem isn't perfect and at the time, her self esteem was SO much better than mine that I think that is what everyone reacted to.

    but now....now that i'm older and wiser I see the truth...she's just a girl. and I'm just a girl.

    she was just more confident at the time and that gave her a shine I simply did not have.

    that's all.

    But man....at the time, I really did believe she had it all, and I had none of it.

    and I wasted time believing that....

    and she hurt for me.

    If you can't believe in yourself, then believe in her. If she's so perfect and picked you for a friend...trust in that...she knows what she sees and it's beautiful to her. Otherwise why would you be her bestie?

    truth.

    Truer words have never been spoken. :heart:
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    I really didn't see that much trolling in this thread. Why do you insist on holding on to a bad self-image?


    I hate to say it because I say this in so many threads, but you need to get some psychological help on this.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    I can't believe you would seriously consider dumping your lifelong best friend not because of anything she did, or anything she has control over, but because she's prettier than you. Do you agree that sounds incredibly childish?
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    I had a friend who I felt was drop dead gorgeous. Had the nicest clothes hair nails. And I ALWAYS felt like an ugly duckling beside her. One day I said to her...how do you manage to be so gorgeous and perfect all the time? You must be exhausted!

    And she was.

    You see... she felt insecure with me and felt that she had to dress up to be comfy with me. And I with her.

    We laughed and now, we are free to be us. Sometimes I'm not wearing makeup, or I'm in grubbies... sometimes she is... and NEITHER of us care anymore!

    If she is your BF, then talk to her and stop caring about the superficial.

    AND NEVER EVER EVER SEND HER PICS OUT!!!
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    Uh oh . . . you and I probably wouldn't get along then. :indifferent:
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    It hurts your feelings that she's naturally beautiful?! No wonder she cries when you talk to her about how you question your friendship.... I would be so embarrassed and ashamed of myself if my best friend came to me and said, "I love you so much, you're smart and funny... but you're just too pretty to be friends with." HOW HURTFUL.


    Listen, cupcake, this problem is all you, and I suggest you see a good therapist about it. You're a very good looking girl, but insecurities like this aren't pretty.
  • crystalflame
    crystalflame Posts: 1,049 Member
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    Awww sweetie.

    I went to high school in Singapore. I was a size 6 white girl, friends with a bunch of size 0 Asian goddesses. One in particular, one I was really close to, got ALL the attention. I got none. It affected me to the point that I became horribly depressed and eventually had to go on meds. Eventually I got better, learned to feel better about myself, started dating someone... But here's what I learned that I wish someone had told me back then:

    That guy I started dating was not Brad Pitt. I didn't even NOTICE what he looked like until my friends brought it up (exact words: "He's a bug-eyed freak!"); I was too infatuated with him being an awesome person. To this day, I still do the same thing - I meet a guy, I connect with him, someone later tells me he's pretty attractive or he looks weird or whatever. I don't care. Him being sexy is not anywhere close to the important part. And I would much, much rather have someone be interested in me because they feel that way about me than because they think I'm hot. (Though, of course, it's nice if they do, and I'm sure he'd appreciate it if I thought he was all that. And I usually do. Love is amazingly blind.) What some random stranger says to me (or my friend) is so completely pointless - that person doesn't know me (or my friend) and how beautiful I am (or she is) on the inside.

    Oh, and through my depression and cutting and hating myself and crying every night and wanting to kill myself, my pretty friend was one of the most supportive, caring, and kind people I've ever had the honor of knowing. My issue was with myself, not with her, and I don't think I would have gotten through that phase without her. Don't push your friend away.
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
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    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.


    And she chose YOU as a best friend. That must imply some really great things about you, don't you think? Just sayin'.
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
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    Here's a story - when I was younger, my BF was the "pretty one", the one that had the perfect blonde hair (feathered too, cause that's how we rolled back in the day), the one that got the attention from all the guys.

    Today, I'm glad I'm not her. She's had a rough go with life and is absolutely miserable.

    Moral of the story: Just 'cause you're the "prettier one" doesn't mean you are or will be the happy, content one.
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Look at the the big picture. You're probably better looking than nearly much everyone else around you, so maybe focus on *that*, rather than the tiny few that aren't. Enjoy it while you're young.
  • cricketcricket
    cricketcricket Posts: 16
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    Man, I feel you. My BFF is definitely objectively more attractive than I am. I certainly don't fault her for this. I don't feel negative things towards her. I always want to hang out with her regardless. But it is hard.

    Ultimately, I can recognize that it's my own lack of self confidence that leads me to feel jealous of her, or to feel the need to compare myself to her at all, but like you said, it's not as easy as just snapping your fingers and suddenly being confident.

    I don't know what the solution is, other than just working towards realizing that you are beautiful and amazing, and telling yourself that even if you don't necessarily feel it. The culture that we live in idealizes a very narrow standard of beauty, and the reality is that most people don't fit into this "ideal." I definitely struggle with feeling confident, and I think that people who are naturally self confident have trouble understanding.

    I don't know what I'm trying to say, just that I know how you feel, and I don't know you, but I'm sure that you are amazing, so keep reminding yourself of that.
  • BrettPGH
    BrettPGH Posts: 4,720 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    Please don't take it wrong. Sorry for all the people being mean to you. But a lot are genuinely trying to help you. Focus on that.
  • neurochamp
    neurochamp Posts: 261 Member
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    As one of "those girls" I have to say your friend in all likelihood has her own concerns and insecurities - we're all just people who are (hopefully) trying to learn and grow and be the best people we can be. Try to give her a break on things that aren't her "fault".

    As for me, I have had strangers (men and women) stop me on the street and compliment my hair or my eyes or even (weird) offer me candy amidst these compliments. I have had this happen even when wearing sweats (that time was in a dark parking lot after getting dropped off by my bus), or when I've been working all day and I think I look like **** (that happened once when a guy from the subway started to follow me home in the middle of the night). It's really not that fun to get this kind of attention. This is why I carry pepper spray at all times - being followed by wackadoos is most definitely not cool.

    I'm not looking for any sympathy (poor me and my good genetics!) I know I'm fortunate to have good genes - everyone in my family is attractive - but that doesn't mean I'm perfect in any way. I most definitely am not, which is why I'm here trying to improve myself. So I'm just posting to give another point of view - YOU may think your friend is gorgeous and perfect and whatever, but you probably also have some stuff going for you that SHE envies. Try to embrace the things that make YOU special and unique instead of feeling like you'd be better off with what she has. Strive to be the best person YOU can be. You'll be happier. And if you can put aside superficial things, you can have a better friendship with this other girl. If she's as nice and as special as you say, then she sounds like a good person to have in your life - don't take that for granted, as really good friends are very hard to find.
  • CoderGal
    CoderGal Posts: 6,800 Member
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    Say your a crazy basketball player dude. And you're better then everyone around you and aspire to play in the NBA. And you get there. And now you're considered ****. Shouldn't you still be absolutely thrilled that you're better in basketball then most of the people in the world?

    Or you know, you could move to somewhere with lots of people you consider ugly. That'll be the life.
  • FireEngineRedHead
    FireEngineRedHead Posts: 281 Member
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    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.


    And she chose YOU as a best friend. That must imply some really great things about you, don't you think? Just sayin'.

    I love you. Thank you for actually saying something helpful. This helped.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    if you were really best friends, you wouldn't be threatened or even consider dropping her.
  • matt2442
    matt2442 Posts: 1,259 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    Uh oh . . . you and I probably wouldn't get along then. :indifferent:

    yeah I am with him on that one...feel free to add me tho

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