Ladies, should a man be the only one to pursue?

124

Replies

  • Kath1391
    Kath1391 Posts: 138
    Not always,I was the one who pursued and we've been together for four years and engaged for one :)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    If it's just for fun then sure the woman can pursue. But I've only seen bad endings (for the woman) when they got into long term relationships after the woman did the pursuing. After a few years the man would go out pursuing what they really wanted in the first place. If the man's really interested in you he will make the effort and you won't HAVE to pursue. Plus even if he's interested but just scared do you really want a man with not enough balls to make the move?
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.

    I have to agree. Maybe, I am oldschool,or old fashion, call it what you want, but I believe that's the man's role. When a man see someone that want to know, regardless how shy they are, they will make it their objective to get to know that person. if I step out and do the job for the guy, it is like me establishing authority over him, I have now become the aggressor, It will make them seem weak, and who wants that. I think it is ok to show interest, by sending a smile or make eye contact, but the approach is in his court.

    All of the above.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Oh, no, it's not what a chick did to him... Get this - many of us are trying to lose weight to be more attractive, and he loses weight and is then ANGRY that women find him more attractive! How effed up is that thinking?

    And to stay on topic: I think it's okay for women to give a guy the green light, but "pursuit" would indicate that he's trying to get away and I would never pursue a guy that's being slippery and vague once it's been established that I like him. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  • hausisse
    hausisse Posts: 90
    Nah. All relationships and all people are different. There's no formula.
  • SquidandWhale
    SquidandWhale Posts: 259
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Oh, no, it's not what a chick did to him... Get this - many of us are trying to lose weight to be more attractive, and he loses weight and is then ANGRY that women find him more attractive! How effed up is that thinking?

    This^2
  • turkeyhunter60
    turkeyhunter60 Posts: 319 Member
    nope
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    I once pursued an ex girlfriend for my MP3 player and Kindle.
  • morgynsmama
    morgynsmama Posts: 83
    I'm not going to pursue. That's just me. Im too shy
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    If I find someone interesting then I will initiate some form of contact first. I don't like to be 'chased'. I have a very specific type of guy that I like and the characteristics that I find most desirable in a man are also the ones that generally make the guys I like super shy and not likely to talk to me first :P

    Just as some men don't like women who make the first move there are also women that feel the same way. There is someone for everyone!
  • breeshabebe
    breeshabebe Posts: 580
    I'm not interested in the type of guy that doesn't pursue- and he wouldn't be interested in me either. It's not a matter of "playing games," it's simple. If he likes me enough, he will pursue me, if not.. I'd rather dance alone in the corner.
  • dewsmom78
    dewsmom78 Posts: 498 Member
    Yes men should pursue. I've never had a sucessful relationship when I was the one pursuing.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Alpha when I don't really care about the girl yet... just trying to get her attention.. Beta when I know she likes me back -_-
  • Honeytips
    Honeytips Posts: 337 Member
    When I was single - definitely!!! Some guys are really shy and clueless and wouldn't know unless you let them know. Now remember this is just for the initial act of letting them know how you feel. If you do and they're still not really paying any attention to you then definitely bail ship and don't waste your time!!!
  • GaiaGirl1992
    GaiaGirl1992 Posts: 459 Member
    Heck no!! Some guys appreciate the ballsyness when their lady takes charge....it should apply to pursuing someone too!!

    Though.....women can be slightly more obsessive about this......
  • morielia
    morielia Posts: 169 Member
    I don't believe in waiting around for a man to do things for me. If I want or need something, I make it happen.

    ^This.
  • purpleipod
    purpleipod Posts: 1,147 Member
    I don't agree with this, it's not 1825 anymore. I'd rather pursue than possibly miss out on something good because I was too afraid to do so.
  • Reza151
    Reza151 Posts: 517 Member
    im too bold to wait for a guy to make a move. If i make the move, even if I get rejected or turned down, I'll at least have the peace of mind of knowing if he's interested or not.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    Nothing wrong with a woman approaching. I've had a few women approach me over the years at bars, unfortunately I've never really been interested. I've always had to seek out and go after what I want.

    I'm traditional in a lot of ways. Two people make eye contract, she flirts, he approaches, he buys her a drink, and conversation follows.
  • Bikini27
    Bikini27 Posts: 1,290 Member
    Hell, I'd never get laid!
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
    Don't agree! If I see something I like, I'll go after it. Or at least let him know I'm interested.

    I do however love when a man pursues me :love:!

    This. I am also very vocal. If I like you I'll say it. If I want you I'll say it. If I miss you I'll say it. If I don't want you I'll also say it. With my boyfriend I let him know how I felt BUT I did let him make the first move when it came to our first kiss (even if I was thinking "Hurry up and kiss me already!")!
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
    Wait, are we talking about "making the first move", or are we talking about pursuit? The latter would mean to me that I'm the one doing all the calling, suggesting getting together, chasing him around the room, etc...in general being the relentless Pepe Le Pew to his ambivalent cat. And that's not gonna happen.
  • RushBabe214
    RushBabe214 Posts: 469 Member
    I'm fairly old-school. I want the guy to do the pursuing, or the "wooing" as it were. I don't think it's playing games either. We women have a way of letting you men know when we're receptive to your advances so it's not like you guys are doing all the work. :wink:

    Whatever floats your boat though. :smile:
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
    I'm fairly old-school. I want the guy to do the pursuing, or the "wooing" as it were. I don't think it's playing games either. We women have a way of letting you men know when we're receptive to your advances so it's not like you guys are doing all the work. :wink:

    Whatever floats your boat though. :smile:

    You mean women generally have a way of letting the super handsome guys know their interested. The rest of us slobs you leave in the dark to guess.
  • devilwhiterose
    devilwhiterose Posts: 1,157 Member
    My husband was too dense to take hints... I had to yank him in the back of the truck to get my point across. :bigsmile:
  • TR0berts
    TR0berts Posts: 7,739 Member
    From another thread - "No; a lady should never make the first move. Always let a man pursue you."

    Thoughts, opinions?


    My wife asked me out first.

    So, no.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I'm fairly old-school. I want the guy to do the pursuing, or the "wooing" as it were. I don't think it's playing games either. We women have a way of letting you men know when we're receptive to your advances so it's not like you guys are doing all the work. :wink:

    Whatever floats your boat though. :smile:

    You mean women generally have a way of letting the super handsome guys know their interested. The rest of us slobs you leave in the dark to guess.

    Don't you get tired of the constant negativity? I mean, good lord. Give it a rest already.
  • AshleyBananas
    AshleyBananas Posts: 62
    I like to pursue and be pursued....
  • breeshabebe
    breeshabebe Posts: 580
    I'm fairly old-school. I want the guy to do the pursuing, or the "wooing" as it were. I don't think it's playing games either. We women have a way of letting you men know when we're receptive to your advances so it's not like you guys are doing all the work. :wink:

    Whatever floats your boat though. :smile:

    You mean women generally have a way of letting the super handsome guys know their interested. The rest of us slobs you leave in the dark to guess.

    Man up!
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
    I'm not interested in the type of guy that doesn't pursue- and he wouldn't be interested in me either. It's not a matter of "playing games," it's simple. If he likes me enough, he will pursue me, if not.. I'd rather dance alone in the corner.

    This^.

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