Ladies, should a man be the only one to pursue?

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  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
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    why should I let someone pass me by waiting on him to say something if he doesn't know I'm available and interested? No way.

    That's also a big thing, how the hell am I supposed to know if you are available or not.

    I'm sure it goes both ways though.
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    why should I let someone pass me by waiting on him to say something if he doesn't know I'm available and interested? No way.

    That's not very lady like of you...
    :wink:

    hahahaha. I didn't say I was going to jump his bones right then, but put out "feelers" to let him know I'm interested in getting to know him better and available to do so. :tongue:
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
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    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    So I should have been persuing men when I was single who I had zero attraction to? Good to know.
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
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    From another thread - "No; a lady should never make the first move. Always let a man pursue you."

    Thoughts, opinions?

    If the lady is really good and smart, she will be in pursuit, but let the man think that he is. :wink:
  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    If the guy is worth it, I don't mind being the one to pursue him. But i do lose interest quick, if he doesn't reciprocate.
  • SpecialSundae
    SpecialSundae Posts: 795 Member
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    I don't believe in "The Rules". I wouldn't want to be with a man who wanted me to play games. Whilst I didn't pursue my husband, nor did I play hard to get and we were both open about the fact that we liked each other from the first date.

    If women want to let the man "chase" them, then that's up to them but it's only worth it if that's the sort of person they are. If they're a feisty type of girl but let the man do the chasing then they may end up having to play a false role throughout their relationship.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
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    No. What century is this again?
  • DaniMichelle5
    DaniMichelle5 Posts: 19 Member
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    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.

    I have to agree. Maybe, I am oldschool,or old fashion, call it what you want, but I believe that's the man's role. When a man see someone that want to know, regardless how shy they are, they will make it their objective to get to know that person. if I step out and do the job for the guy, it is like me establishing authority over him, I have now become the aggressor, It will make them seem weak, and who wants that. I think it is ok to show interest, by sending a smile or make eye contact, but the approach is in his court.
  • j4zepedajj
    j4zepedajj Posts: 70
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    I think that it should be up to the person most interested.. If you like someone.. just tell them.. go ahead.. We arent in the 5th grade
  • SquidandWhale
    SquidandWhale Posts: 259
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    I also thought it a rather asinine assumption that women should only be the pursued. Gender equality.
  • Kath1391
    Kath1391 Posts: 138
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    Not always,I was the one who pursued and we've been together for four years and engaged for one :)
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    If it's just for fun then sure the woman can pursue. But I've only seen bad endings (for the woman) when they got into long term relationships after the woman did the pursuing. After a few years the man would go out pursuing what they really wanted in the first place. If the man's really interested in you he will make the effort and you won't HAVE to pursue. Plus even if he's interested but just scared do you really want a man with not enough balls to make the move?
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,452 Member
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    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.

    I have to agree. Maybe, I am oldschool,or old fashion, call it what you want, but I believe that's the man's role. When a man see someone that want to know, regardless how shy they are, they will make it their objective to get to know that person. if I step out and do the job for the guy, it is like me establishing authority over him, I have now become the aggressor, It will make them seem weak, and who wants that. I think it is ok to show interest, by sending a smile or make eye contact, but the approach is in his court.

    All of the above.
  • Ed98043
    Ed98043 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Oh, no, it's not what a chick did to him... Get this - many of us are trying to lose weight to be more attractive, and he loses weight and is then ANGRY that women find him more attractive! How effed up is that thinking?

    And to stay on topic: I think it's okay for women to give a guy the green light, but "pursuit" would indicate that he's trying to get away and I would never pursue a guy that's being slippery and vague once it's been established that I like him. Ain't nobody got time for that.
  • hausisse
    hausisse Posts: 90
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    Nah. All relationships and all people are different. There's no formula.
  • SquidandWhale
    SquidandWhale Posts: 259
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    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Oh, no, it's not what a chick did to him... Get this - many of us are trying to lose weight to be more attractive, and he loses weight and is then ANGRY that women find him more attractive! How effed up is that thinking?

    This^2
  • turkeyhunter60
    turkeyhunter60 Posts: 319 Member
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    nope
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
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    I once pursued an ex girlfriend for my MP3 player and Kindle.
  • morgynsmama
    morgynsmama Posts: 83
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    I'm not going to pursue. That's just me. Im too shy
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
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    If I find someone interesting then I will initiate some form of contact first. I don't like to be 'chased'. I have a very specific type of guy that I like and the characteristics that I find most desirable in a man are also the ones that generally make the guys I like super shy and not likely to talk to me first :P

    Just as some men don't like women who make the first move there are also women that feel the same way. There is someone for everyone!

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