DEAL BREAKERS for dating

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Replies

  • AddieOverhaul
    AddieOverhaul Posts: 734 Member
    - Can't pay his own bills.
    - Treats me disrespectfully (like verbal abuse, being completely selfish and inconsiderate).
    - Isn't very smart (I get bored).
    - Isn't good in bed/isn't into oral (bothin receiving AND giving)
    - Alcoholic/drug addict (getting wicked drunk once in a while or smoking pot here and there is fine, and fun)
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).

    Sorry babe - a person like that would laugh at your assertions that they couldn't commit to love.

    I think they'd just have a hard time committing to YOU. :laugh:
  • MzCongeniality70
    MzCongeniality70 Posts: 352 Member
    No job or ambition

    Lives with parents

    Baby mama drama

    Smoker/Heavy drug user

    Rambles on and on and on about themselves

    Constant texter

    Heavy gamer

    Lack of education

    Oh, the list is long....no wonder I'm single!

    Oh wait, won't go down... THAT is HUGE to me! :bigsmile:
  • biddy81
    biddy81 Posts: 122 Member
    For the women who don't like poor spelling, why does this matter in the slightest? I can see that if someone who completely butchers the English language you might be able to call their intelligence in to question but if the poor guy spells definitely definately by accident how does this make him a poor candidate to date?

    I tease my poor hubby about his spelling, and he teases me about being an "English language snob." In the end, we coexist just fine. He recently put "lazagna" on the grocery list... XD
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    You know, I am curious to know. I'm a smoker and I totally get why non-smokers won't date us.

    So that makes me wonder how non-smokers that do date us can do that? All of my lovers but one have been non-smokers. If I were to quit, I'd have a very difficult time dating a smoker.

    Not that I'm not grateful for those who date smokers, but how do you do it?
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
    really bad teeth or gum disease

    a lot of debt and/or unpaid child support.

    cheaters

    drug users or alcoholics

    smokers

    someone with less education and income than I have. Not to be snobby or to be a gold digger. I've found that when there isn't an equality, it can be offputting for many guys.

    someone with tendencies to be hurtful during tough times - name calling, sarcsasm, manipulation, passive-aggressiveness
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Bad teeth.
    Bad teeth.
    And bad teeth.

    Yes
    Yes
    And yes

    Also you must not lie or be a thief. I'll cut ya.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
    -low sex drive
    -hates animals
    -smoker
    -bad hygiene
    -someone who isn't willing to work and compromise in a relationship
    -inability to function as an adult... aka lazy, no ambition, never wants to get out and live.
    -and of course the obvious ones... dishonesty, cheating, physical/emotional abuse..
  • SmartAlec03211988
    SmartAlec03211988 Posts: 1,896 Member
    Must have:
    - A college education or some kind of vocational training
    - A job

    Must not have:
    - A criminal record

    Must be:
    - Fiscally responsible
    - Physically active and maintain a healthy diet (most of the time)
    - Generous

    Must not:
    - Smoke (around me)
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
    @AmyR70
    Oh wait, won't go down... THAT is HUGE to me! :bigsmile:
    :laugh:
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
    - lack of ambition
    - drug use
    - too much alcohol / can't handle their use
    - financial irresponsibility
    - spending my money like it was free
    - psycho

    Now what do I like? I don't know date me and lets see -- I like a lot about a lot of different women, personalities are fun.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    You know, I am curious to know. I'm a smoker and I totally get why non-smokers won't date us.

    So that makes me wonder how non-smokers that do date us can do that? All of my lovers but one have been non-smokers. If I were to quit, I'd have a very difficult time dating a smoker.

    Not that I'm not grateful for those who date smokers, but how do you do it?

    For me, as long as my partner had good oral hygiene and immediately brushed teeth and washed hands while smoking at home, I didn't have a problem with it. I'm of the "as long as I can't taste it" camp. I've always been the type to take a "smoke break" with the smokers so I could have a random break in the day, even though I've never smoked. So hanging around someone who smokes isn't a big deal. I know how to get away from being downwind.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    You know, I am curious to know. I'm a smoker and I totally get why non-smokers won't date us.

    So that makes me wonder how non-smokers that do date us can do that? All of my lovers but one have been non-smokers. If I were to quit, I'd have a very difficult time dating a smoker.

    Not that I'm not grateful for those who date smokers, but how do you do it?

    For me, as long as my partner had good oral hygiene and immediately brushed teeth and washed hands while smoking at home, I didn't have a problem with it. I'm of the "as long as I can't taste it" camp. I've always been the type to take a "smoke break" with the smokers so I could have a random break in the day, even though I've never smoked. So hanging around someone who smokes isn't a big deal. I know how to get away from being downwind.

    This is a good point. I'd not considered that. Thank you!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    You know, I am curious to know. I'm a smoker and I totally get why non-smokers won't date us.

    So that makes me wonder how non-smokers that do date us can do that? All of my lovers but one have been non-smokers. If I were to quit, I'd have a very difficult time dating a smoker.

    Not that I'm not grateful for those who date smokers, but how do you do it?

    For me, as long as my partner had good oral hygiene and immediately brushed teeth and washed hands while smoking at home, I didn't have a problem with it. I'm of the "as long as I can't taste it" camp. I've always been the type to take a "smoke break" with the smokers so I could have a random break in the day, even though I've never smoked. So hanging around someone who smokes isn't a big deal. I know how to get away from being downwind.

    people who smoke a lot are completely covered with the smell of smoke. an occasional smoker i could probably tolerate. but when you are smoking 1+ packs per day, your clothes and your home and your car and pretty much everything else you smoke around, takes on the smell of smoke. when i'm in line at the post office, i can tell who smokes and who doesn't just because of the aftersmell on their clothing.

    it wouldn't be a dealbreaker when dating as long as i knew she wanted to quit, but my grandad died of lung cancer from smoking and i wouldn't want to go through that again.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    people who smoke a lot are completely covered with the smell of smoke. an occasional smoker i could probably tolerate. but when you are smoking 1+ packs per day, your clothes and your home and your car and pretty much everything else you smoke around, takes on the smell of smoke. when i'm in line at the post office, i can tell who smokes and who doesn't just because of the aftersmell on their clothing.

    it wouldn't be a dealbreaker when dating as long as i knew she wanted to quit, but my grandad died of lung cancer from smoking and i wouldn't want to go through that again.

    That is also true. I moved my smoking outside (at least at home) but can now smell just how smokey my truck is. (Where I do smoke inside of it.) It surprises me how strong it is.

    I have a friend who lost his grandmother to lung cancer. He won't date a smoker, either. And I can't fault him.
  • RhineDHP
    RhineDHP Posts: 1,025 Member
    No job
    No car
    No courtesy towards others
    Drugs/smoking
    Mamma's boy
    Non-animal lover
    Not communicative
    Shorter than 5'11 (sorry!)


    I'm sure there's more...but for the most part that would be the main ones.

    Edit: HYGIENE!!!! Someone made a post about that, poor hygiene is a definite deal breaker. I remember I had a creative writing class a couple years ago, and the room was small. This guy that came in, he NEVER showered. One time the smell was so bad that a few of us had to put something in front of our faces to prevent his foul BO from making us retch. I mean, wow, until that day, sure you've smelled some not so pleasant BO before, but man, for it to have been so bad as to almost make me GAG, blegh.....
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    lime green dress, if she owns one that is a deal breaker!
  • LauraJo08
    LauraJo08 Posts: 219 Member
    There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.
  • There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.

    Ha,, made me laugh, but lots of truth!
  • zaxaz
    zaxaz Posts: 32 Member
    You folks who are saying "No job" are being pretty harsh. The person might have no job through no fault of their own - laid off, company went under, etc.

    On the other hand, "no desire to get a job" is definitely a valid deal breaker.
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
    There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.

    In the last two years both knees got hurt and I had three hernias repaired plus I had every bone broken in my foot many years ago that has left me unable to run but I do what I can to do cardio...... So since I am in this situation, but you can't tell that I am hurt, don't you think that is a bit narrow-minded?
  • LauraJo08
    LauraJo08 Posts: 219 Member
    There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.

    In the last two years both knees got hurt and I had three hernias repaired plus I had every bone broken in my foot many years ago that has left me unable to run but I do what I can to do cardio...... So since I am in this situation, but you can't tell that I am hurt, don't you think that is a bit narrow-minded?

    Sweetheart, don't get butt-hurt. It's an instinctual reaction. When many guys see an overweight woman, they instantly don't consider her as attractive, but what if they knew she had a thyroid condition or was on steroids for immuno-suppression, wouldn't that be a little narrow-minded? The world is judgemental.
  • amandapye78
    amandapye78 Posts: 820 Member
    my deal breaker is ..my husband told me I'm not allowed to date anymore.
  • ChrisinGA
    ChrisinGA Posts: 116 Member
    You folks who are saying "No job" are being pretty harsh. The person might have no job through no fault of their own - laid off, company went under, etc.

    On the other hand, "no desire to get a job" is definitely a valid deal breaker.

    I agree, I was laid off and jobs are so hard to come by but i guess for most on here they would say go to school, cause seems most say someone w/o education. I didn't go to college, can't afford it, if i could I'ld go get my CDL's College cost money and not all of us have rich parents.
  • mikegl1
    mikegl1 Posts: 238 Member
    There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.

    In the last two years both knees got hurt and I had three hernias repaired plus I had every bone broken in my foot many years ago that has left me unable to run but I do what I can to do cardio...... So since I am in this situation, but you can't tell that I am hurt, don't you think that is a bit narrow-minded?

    Sweetheart, don't get butt-hurt. It's an instinctual reaction. When many guys see an overweight woman, they instantly don't consider her as attractive, but what if they knew she had a thyroid condition or was on steroids for immuno-suppression, wouldn't that be a little narrow-minded? The world is judgemental.

    I'm not "butt-hurt" at all I just find your "instinctual reaction" narrow-minded.
  • countrybarbie24
    countrybarbie24 Posts: 17 Member
    WOW, Oh I forgot one darn i guess I do have a pretty long list but yet still simple,
    One I forgot no tats, I hate tats, unless there tiny and only one or two of them.

    I can over look some things sometimes, and depends on the person, if your sweet,caring,pretty, and good at things I overlook lots

    Well since your engaged and not looking I guess it dont really matter what you dont and do like in a girl lol
  • red0801
    red0801 Posts: 283 Member
    There are many things I look for but one thing that is important to me..somewhat of a deal break if she:

    -only sticks to the cardio machines at the gym!

    Haha it's the same for me for guys. And to be completely honest, if I see a guy (uninjured) get on an elliptical, I'm instantly turned off, I can't help it.

    LOL. The thought alone makes me laugh!
  • JeneticTraining
    JeneticTraining Posts: 663 Member
    Third nipple
    No armpit hair.

    Okay, jk.

    Deal breakers:
    Alcoholics
    Baby daddy
    Hot tempered
    Jealousy
  • red0801
    red0801 Posts: 283 Member
    my deal breaker is ..my husband told me I'm not allowed to date anymore.

    Huh..who woulda thunk it.
  • KassLamb
    KassLamb Posts: 98 Member
    I'm engaged, so this doesn't really apply to me, but when I was single, I didn't really have any complete deal breakers except for being violent or abusive. I felt that if I really liked someone, then I'd give it a chance.

    Then I met a guy who I liked... until I found out that he disliked dogs. I could not make a life with or even spend a weekend with someone who dislikes dogs.