DEAL BREAKERS for dating

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Replies

  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    i see a lot of the people responding in this thread have doomed themselves to a life of loneliness with their standards

    Nah. Your "loneliness" is my freedom. Not everyone needs to be in a relationship to be happy. And I am happiest and most comfortable when I'm by myself.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    I wouldn't have put this out there karma and the fates can be quite cruel
  • sd0104
    sd0104 Posts: 40 Member
    1) lack of ambition in career or otherwise.

    2) drugs/excessive alcohol.

    3) Inability to see outside of themselves.

    4) If he has kids,must have a relationship with them.

    Totally agree with this list - number 4 is an important one for me too!
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
    For the women who don't like poor spelling, why does this matter in the slightest? I can see that if someone who completely butchers the English language you might be able to call their intelligence in to question but if the poor guy spells definitely definately by accident how does this make him a poor candidate to date?
    women are picky by nature...men just want to bang.

    It's more accurate to say women are picky about bull**** by nature. You seem them consistantly bend their standards on huge issues which should be real deal breakers but instead focus their rage on nonsense like whether a guy can't spell or if he chews to loudly.

    instead of blaming all women everywhere for your dating failures, maybe you should take a good hard look at yourself in the mirror.

    everybody gets their hearts broken at one time or another. get over it. it's part of life.

    You are a good human being. A lot of people in this thread fail.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    can't be under 6'2 I can't date midgets.
  • 1. Needs to have similar values.
    2. Need to believe in a higher power and practices what you preach.
    3. Needs to be kind and possess generous spirit.
    4. Needs to be funny, loves to laugh, and enjoy life.
    5. Needs to be sensitive and loving.
    6. Needs to be open communicator and self-reliant.
    7. Needs to be independent and gainfully employed.
    8. Needs to have great chemistry with me.
    9. Needs to be open to change and self improvement.
    10. Needs to EXPECT ALL OF THE ABOVE FROM ME TOO!
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Ok. Ill play, too. I've made mistakes on these in the past, so I'm sticking to them now!

    1. Has to be gainfully employed. Not because I'm a gold digger, but because I need to be with someone who can keep up with me. Also, ambition is sexy.
    2. Has to want to travel. I live for travel. I can't date someone who won't travel.
    3. No racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, classism, etc.
    4. No cheaters. My experience has been once a cheater, always a cheater.
    6. No picky eaters. I love to cook. I WANT to cook for my man. I can't cook with a list of restrictions.
    7. Has to be a decent communicator.
    8. Has to be comfortable showing verbal/physical affection.
    9. Must cuddle.

    That's about it!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member
    For the women who don't like poor spelling, why does this matter in the slightest? I can see that if someone who completely butchers the English language you might be able to call their intelligence in to question but if the poor guy spells definitely definately by accident how does this make him a poor candidate to date?
    women are picky by nature...men just want to bang.

    DING DING. We have a winner.

    Men usually just want to smash and bail, which is why they don't have any initial dealbreakers.

    However, if a guy is looking for a serious relationship, their 'must haves' and 'deal breakers' list will be just as long as most women's list. The man's list will mostly be physical things though (weight, cute face, etc).

    nonsense.

    if you're 17 years old, maybe... but at 17 you're still a child.

    grown men are not this shallow, unless they are douchenozzles.
    You ain't kidding anyone
    White knight
    internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg
  • peachfigs
    peachfigs Posts: 831 Member
    Ok. Ill play, too. I've made mistakes on these in the past, so I'm sticking to them now!

    1. Has to be gainfully employed. Not because I'm a gold digger, but because I need to be with someone who can keep up with me. Also, ambition is sexy.
    2. Has to want to travel. I live for travel. I can't date someone who won't travel.
    3. No racism, sexism, misogyny, homophobia, classism, etc.
    4. No cheaters. My experience has been once a cheater, always a cheater.
    6. No picky eaters. I love to cook. I WANT to cook for my man. I can't cook with a list of restrictions.
    7. Has to be a decent communicator.
    8. Has to be comfortable showing verbal/physical affection.
    9. Must cuddle.

    That's about it!

    I'd say all of these for me too!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    For the women who don't like poor spelling, why does this matter in the slightest? I can see that if someone who completely butchers the English language you might be able to call their intelligence in to question but if the poor guy spells definitely definately by accident how does this make him a poor candidate to date?
    women are picky by nature...men just want to bang.

    DING DING. We have a winner.

    Men usually just want to smash and bail, which is why they don't have any initial dealbreakers.

    However, if a guy is looking for a serious relationship, their 'must haves' and 'deal breakers' list will be just as long as most women's list. The man's list will mostly be physical things though (weight, cute face, etc).

    nonsense.

    if you're 17 years old, maybe... but at 17 you're still a child.

    grown men are not this shallow, unless they are douchenozzles.
    You ain't kidding anyone
    White knight
    internet_white_knight_colored_4350.jpg

    hardly a white knight, but this stereotype that all that guys care about is sex is absurd. when you're young and dumb, maybe. but not as an adult.

    you can find the prettiest woman out there, but if you can't have an intelligent conversation with her, or you have to explain even Knock Knock jokes to her, what's the point? this thread is called "dealbreakers" and the guy stated that the only deal breakers were physical and i called him on that as being nonsense because it is nonsense.

    of course, physical appearance does matter, but it's not the only thing that matters. that's my point.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!
  • joke answer:

    1) no pulse

    real answer:

    1) she's married/engaged
    2) she's a liar
    3) she's boring and/or uninteresting
    4) she's got a bad personality and/or treats others poorly
    5) she's got no sense of humor
    6) she's vain
    7) she's a prude
    8) she's too young or too old

    probably more than that, but that's a start.

    Too young (but over 18) is a joke answer too, right?

    Most women under 20 are annoying, whiny, clingy and have jealousy issues.

    Agreed!
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member


    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    Exactly. Also, top tier people don't stay that way long. Once the evil demon, Age, comes along they suffer mighty downfalls due to the choices they make when they were "top tier".
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    Some people on here have interesting lists. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to have a longer list of dealbreakers, though. As I date, I find out which things I can and can't live with, so I imagine it's the same for those people as well. Each of my dealbreakers have come from past experience, as I learn what types of personalities don't mesh well with mine.

    Absolute Dealbreakers:

    - takes drugs and/or is an alcoholic (Occasional pot smoking is excluded from this - if you smoke every day that's too much for me though. Occasional drinking is also ok.)

    - doesn't either have a job, go to school full time, or isn't looking for a job. Yeah, the economy sucks, but you have to at least be trying.

    - has something like uncontrolled borderline personality disorder or unmedicated bi-polar disorder. I've dealt with exes in this situation before and just can't handle it. There's nothing *wrong* with these people, I just can't deal with the stress of being with a S.O. with these issues.

    - is rude or cruel or extremely short-tempered. You don't have to have the patience of Mother Teresa, but I don't want someone who goes off all the time either.

    - is super religious. I'm agnostic. Believe whatever you want, but don't try to convert me or tell me how god has a special plan for me. I don't have a problem dating religious people, as long as they don't have a problem with me being agnostic.

    - doesn't like art, reading, or writing. I'm passionate about these things, and if I can't talk about them with my partner, that's a problem. (Liking geeky things gets you a +1)

    - doesn't like animals/ is allergic. I will always have dogs, and cats, and gerbils. I will not give my animals up for you, sorry.

    - doesn't have a sense of humor that is compatible with mine. You don't have to laugh at all of my lame jokes, but we have to be able to laugh together sometimes.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    not if he got the money for it.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    The slightest hint of sexism, racism, homophobia, or anything similar is not okay with me ever. One single "women in the kitchen" or rape joke will make me lose every ounce of interest in a person.

    Great, another woman who can't cook.

    ROFL - A smart man stays of MY kitchen because most men can't cook and if they can there's too much competition for my kitchen toys!
    i see a lot of the people responding in this thread have doomed themselves to a life of loneliness with their standards

    Funny everyone said this to me before I met my soul mate. Don't settle - you will only regret it later.

    My deal breakers:

    - deadbeat dads or dads who are rude to their kids mom. If you have a child with someone then you need to be grown up enough to maintain at least a civil relationship in order to properly raise the child.
    - long term unemployment / contract worker with no backup savings plan. I have money, so should you.
    - alcoholic, heavy drinker, hard drugs, some other addiction
    - can't communicate/ yes man - I need someone with intelligence who can support a position or make a decision.

    I spoil my boyfriend, I take care of him, cook dinner and all that stuff because that's what I love to do, but if he didn't show me / tell me every day that he appreciated me and everything I do to make his life easier he would be gone also.
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Honestly, I don't think I'm TERRIBLY unfortunate looking. I thought my list (page 4) was pretty good. BASICALLY, treat me right -- I don't care what you look like. A nice personality and someone who treats me with respect goes a LONG way, further than some guy who looks good but treats me like crap or criticizes me.

    Number one on my list is definitely that I be respected as much as I respect him.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Don't crush my dreams.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    only one deal breaker.....if they are male, I aint dating them.
    This guy DEFINITELY IS NOT into dudes. Hear that, ladies? He does NOT want to date guys.

    If you were thinking that he might be into dudes (even a little bit), you should know that he MOST DEFINITELY DOES NOT want to date dudes.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Um, I think I am pretty attractive and my one "deal breaker" is no criminals. Yeah, so tell me more about your theory.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    sulking & tantrums
    being rude to staff
    bad mouthing exes
    lack of compassion
    lack of curiosity
    being 100% vanilla
    not respecting me
    wearing crocs
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Hm... I think it really depends on what *kind* of qualifications you set. To me, ANYONE who says "I will only date an ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model" sounds ridiculous and like kind of a douche, no matter how "hot" or "top tier" that person is.
  • MM_1982
    MM_1982 Posts: 374
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Um, I think I am pretty attractive and my one "deal breaker" is no criminals. Yeah, so tell me more about your theory.

    Wasn't referring to you. A lot of men and women on here had reasonable deal breaker list. Some lists just made me chuckle a little.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    generally disrespectful
    smoking
    acts like a giant douche
    would require more caretaking than my child

    I'm glad I'm not dating, I think it's pretty scary out there.

    must add: criminal, jobless, homeless, carless, lazy.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I hate to say it, but the number of deal breakers people have is directly related to how hot or good looking they are. Top tier women are picky because they can be. They can have all the requirements in the world and there will be guys out there that meet it. The same can be said for top tier alpha males.

    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    What would women think about a 500lb, 50 year old guy who won't settle for less than a ivy league educated 23 yr old lingerie model? He'd looks absolutely ridiculous!

    Um, I think I am pretty attractive and my one "deal breaker" is no criminals. Yeah, so tell me more about your theory.

    I think you're hot, and I would totally date you.
  • meghan6867
    meghan6867 Posts: 388 Member
    I'm able to accept a lot for the right person, but dependency issues is a HUGE deal breaker for me. I just cannot stand clingy dudes. :explode:
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
    I think what makes a lot of guys and girls laugh on here are people that have a laundry list of requirements when they really can't be picky themselves.

    I think it is perfectly acceptable to want someone who is an equal match to you. If you are hot and shallow, go for someone hot and shallow. If you are uneducated, go for someone uneducated. If your taste in culture outweighs your physical attractiveness, go for someone who is the same.

    For me, someone who may be more physically attractive than I am, but likes none of the same things, is less intelligent, does not share my sense of humor, is beneath me. I'm sure he would think me beneath him, because he does not understand what I care about and that physical attractiveness is not the thing I base my "tier" on.

    I don't ask for anything I don't also offer.
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    To think, I don't even have a list. I'm pretty sure my hot level just plummeted!!
  • InnerConflict
    InnerConflict Posts: 1,592 Member
    To think, I don't even have a list. I'm pretty sure my hot level just plummeted!!

    No way. Just got hotter.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    To think, I don't even have a list. I'm pretty sure my hot level just plummeted!!

    married?