DEAL BREAKERS for dating

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Replies

  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
    I have been with DH for 15.5 years now, since I was 17... so I really never got to date.

    HOWEVER...

    Deal breakers for me?

    1) Dishonesty. If I can't trust you, I don't want to date you.
    2) Smoker. Sorry, I will give it a go but if you're not willing to quit, my migraines would be too bad even just smelling the smoke.
    3) Player! I don't want to invest my heart and soul into someone who is just looking for a lay.
    4) NO ROMANCE. That is #1 on my list. I need it, so if you don't have the time to come up with a few nice things to say, I don't have time for you.
    5) Conceited. This kind of goes along with playa....
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,733 Member
    1) dishonesty
    2) low emotional maturity (inability to handle one's own feelings, scared of feelings, etc.)
    3) heavy baggage from previous relationships (makes irrational decisions based on fears from the past, treats me like I've wronged him)
    4) being hot and cold (commitment phobes who don't want me to go)
    5) mistreats waitstaff or "the help"
    6) overly religious
    7) recently broken up with or divorced (I don't enjoy the rebound scenario)
    8) wearing hats sideways or semi-sideways
    9) wearing Ed Hardy shirts
    10) chronic bad breath

    you forgot the Tapout shirts in 9)

    :laugh:
  • wildcatnyc
    wildcatnyc Posts: 2,410 Member
    1) Smoking/Drugs
    2) Lying
    3) Negativity (we all know that person - the one who never has anything positive to say and everything always sucks)

    Other than that, it all comes down to the connection.
  • LookMaNoHands
    LookMaNoHands Posts: 174 Member
    1. Career - I am ok with a career-woman, or a stay-at-home mom, just not a woman who makes a career out of changing careers. (ie: the kind who spends 10 years in undergrad, changing majors every other semester, finding a new "calling" every 6 months, and who can't hold down a stable job once she finally enters the workforce - we all know the type)

    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).

    3. Selfish / inconsiderate

    4. Feminazi - Totally fine with feminism (ie: the recognition of the fact that women are EQUAL to men), just not femiNAZIism (the ridiculous assertion that women are THE SAME AS men).
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    1) dishonesty
    2) low emotional maturity (inability to handle one's own feelings, scared of feelings, etc.)
    3) heavy baggage from previous relationships (makes irrational decisions based on fears from the past, treats me like I've wronged him)
    4) being hot and cold (commitment phobes who don't want me to go)
    5) mistreats waitstaff or "the help"
    6) overly religious
    7) recently broken up with or divorced (I don't enjoy the rebound scenario)
    8) wearing hats sideways or semi-sideways
    9) wearing Ed Hardy shirts
    10) chronic bad breath

    you forgot the Tapout shirts in 9)

    :laugh:
    *adds Tapout shirts to #9*
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    They don't listen!
  • Lift_This_
    Lift_This_ Posts: 2,756 Member
    Self-entitled.
    No decent career.
    Lack of intelligence.
    Low sex drive.
    Hypocritical.
    Shorter than 5"8'.

    dang it...can't we make an exception?

    Depends what can you offer up in exchange?

    we can discuss that....in bed.

    I'm sold.

    awwwwwww yyyyeaaah!!! when shall we start? :wink:
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
    can't be jealous
    not be a drug user
    must have a job
    love to have fun
    love to experiment
  • ModoVincere
    ModoVincere Posts: 530 Member
    3) Negativity (we all know that person - the one who never has anything positive to say and everything always sucks)

    well, that sucks....
  • zillah73
    zillah73 Posts: 505 Member
    Smoking
    Drug Abuse
    Alcoholism

    And, at the risk of being called superficial, I cancelled a first date with a guy after he texted me a picture of himself wearing a hat he had just bought with a monkey face on it. I'm sorry, but I am almost 40 and I can't date a 38 year old man who shops at Hot Topic. :laugh: Plus he kept asking me to send him photos of my cat (not a euphemism, he was obsessed with my kitten and even asked if she could come stay with him for a while). Freaking weirdos.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).

    4. Feminazi - Totally fine with feminism (ie: the recognition of the fact that women are EQUAL to men), just not femiNAZIism (the ridiculous assertion that women are THE SAME AS men).
    You are so misguided about atheism and feminism that it's embarrassing to even read this.
  • KML617
    KML617 Posts: 220 Member
    A penis

    :laugh:
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    smoking.
    active alcoholic.
    obese.

    i'm a non-smoking, somewhat fit, recovering alcoholic. i would want someone whose goals are in line with mine.

    that's really about it. everything else is negotiable.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Prison record mostly.

    What can I say, low standards.

    Shoot. To think I loved you for nothing.

    For you, I'll make an exception.

    Sweet!
  • RunDoozer
    RunDoozer Posts: 1,699 Member
    Well, guess I'm not dating anyone in this thread.
  • bluecrayonz
    bluecrayonz Posts: 459 Member
    wants sex on the first date
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    1. Lack of Intelligence
    2. Bigotry
    3. Conservative
    4. Raiders fan
    5. Jealousy
    6. No sense of humor
    7. No job
    8. Crazy ex
    9. Religious
    10. Comb over
    11. No hobbies or interests
    12. Can't clean up his own messes
    13. Not primarily vegetarian
    14. Wants me to live in Kansas
    15. Wants more kids
    16. In the military
    17. Sucks at sex
    18. Wants me to get cable
    19. Won't go with me to Disneyland
    20. Insists on modern interior design
    21. Has really annoying friends
    22. Is not interested in switching cars with me when mine needs service so that I never have to deal with that crap again
    23. Prefers heavy metal
    24. Can't spell or use proper grammar

    Ah hell, who am I kidding- pretty much everything is a deal breaker. I'm not datable.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    No career
    Not independant (ie living with parents or a zillion roommates)
    No transportation of his own
    Lack of hygeine
    Alcoholic/drug user
    Complete lack of fashion sense
    Homophobic/racist/sexist/etc.
    Politically conservative
    Overly religious
    Cannot at least tolerate my cat
    Unintelligent
    Uses poor grammar
    Bad taste in music/movies/TV
    Overly shy/doesn't like to be around people ever
    Doesn't get my sense of humor
    Non-adventurous
    Jealous/really clingy - or on the opposite end - uninvolved, secretive
    Has kids - not ready for that yet
    Bad musicians! I play guitar and have good taste. If you are going to be a musician, either be good or just stop.
    Really cheesy guys
    Too cool for my nerdy fangirl-ness

    Future crazy cat lady here.
  • KML617
    KML617 Posts: 220 Member
    Too young (but over 18) is a joke answer too, right?

    too young means what it says. i'm 45, what would i have in common with a 21 year old? that's just creepy.

    Thank you! Much respect for this answer! :flowerforyou:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Prison record mostly.

    What can I say, low standards.

    Shoot. To think I loved you for nothing.

    For you, I'll make an exception.

    Sweet!

    Oh and no thongs. But I think we covered that one and were good to go.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I forgot one.

    Not in a committed relationship.

    (and you think I am joking)
  • VanessaGS
    VanessaGS Posts: 514 Member
    People who are rude to other people for no reason, or someone who is CONCEITED. Got rid of one of those along time ago. For the record...saying "I'M NOT CONCEITED I'M JUST CONFIDENT" means you ARE CONCEITED.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member

    4) being hot and cold (commitment phobes who don't want me to go)

    Damn! I'm a commitaphobe. Or at least, with one failed marriage behind me already, I have to ward off my never married, this is his first serious, live-in relationship boyfriend from the "marriage and baby" talks.
  • dad106
    dad106 Posts: 4,868 Member
    No college education
    Dead end job
    Crappy Dresser
    No Car
    No intrest in doing other things besides having sex
    Smoking
    Obsessive drinking
  • Tandksmommy11
    Tandksmommy11 Posts: 399 Member
    It's interesting to read these--I'm disqualified from most of them. Most often the following...

    I work part time, but my full time job is being a Mom. I do have a degree though, does that get me some brownie points? I also have 2 kids (obviously) and have been divorced.

    Reasons I would disqualify men if I were single:
    -Uses drugs
    -Spends to much time in a bar (more than once every 2 weeks is to often)
    -Doesn't like kids
  • ApexLeader
    ApexLeader Posts: 580 Member
    i see a lot of the people responding in this thread have doomed themselves to a life of loneliness with their standards
  • Brownsbacker4evr
    Brownsbacker4evr Posts: 365 Member
    Brb looking over some of you peoples' dealbreakers.

    closed_zps2a30f07a.jpg
  • kaylaandthestarcatcher
    kaylaandthestarcatcher Posts: 836
    2. Atheist - Not that she HAS to be the same religion as me - I just don't want someone so arrogant as to assume that they know without a doubt that there is absolutely no chance that there is anything beyond the world we can observe. A person who believes that would probably have an extremely difficult time committing to a highly complex emotion like love, which is not scientifically explainable. (unlike lust / attraction, which is very easily explained through science).

    4. Feminazi - Totally fine with feminism (ie: the recognition of the fact that women are EQUAL to men), just not femiNAZIism (the ridiculous assertion that women are THE SAME AS men).
    You are so misguided about atheism and feminism that it's embarrassing to even read this.

    tumblr_mjx354kY5D1qgb5p1o4_250.gif

    Oh! I just thought of another deal breaker to add to my list!

    Uses the term "feminazi."
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Prison record mostly.

    What can I say, low standards.

    Shoot. To think I loved you for nothing.

    For you, I'll make an exception.

    Sweet!

    Oh and no thongs. But I think we covered that one and were good to go.

    Nope. No thongs for me.
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
    must be rich
    must have one foot in the grave
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