married or single folks please read....

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  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    He has some soulsearching to do.What does he really want? If it's just the hanging out
    maybe you'll could get together once a week or so.
    If it's more than that he should asked himself if he really wants to give up his
    family to hang out with friends.
    And your involvement, you can give him advice or just stand by him as a friend but that should be it.

    this. he needs to think this through and not make any hasty decisions. yes he is young but he has responsibilities now. if its just him itching to act like he's in college again, he needs to set that aside and put his family first. now if its deeper issues that he has with the wife they should try and resolve it.

    people nowadays are so quick to jump ship, without even stopping to consider how it will affect their children in the future.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    It's natural to feel nostalgia for a more carefree time in one's life when there was less pressure and fewer responsibilities. At the end of the day though, he needs to accept the fact that he isn't living for himself anymore. The most important person in his life is now his child. Providing a stable family life for that child is his purpose in life, everything else must come second, including his own happiness.

    finally a man with some sense and good advice :drinker:
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    It's natural to feel nostalgia for a more carefree time in one's life when there was less pressure and fewer responsibilities. At the end of the day though, he needs to accept the fact that he isn't living for himself anymore. The most important person in his life is now his child. Providing a stable family life for that child is his purpose in life, everything else must come second, including his own happiness.

    finally a man with some sense and good advice :drinker:

    As a single dad who gave up virtually everything in order to gain custody of my kids...I agree completely.
  • Maribel_1986
    Maribel_1986 Posts: 457 Member
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    Then he should talk to her about why he isn't happy and see if they can find a way to fix things and make it work. Marriage is a SACRED VOW. Not something you can just decide to stop when you get bored or things aren't perfect anymore.

    I agree with this ^^^

    Marriage is a Sacred Vow you make before God. He can't just give up when things don't go his way or when things become difficult. I understand that at his age he still wants to hang out with his boys and **** around, but seriously if he has a kid with his wife then its time to man up and take responsibility for putting himself in the situation he is in. Honestly, he should have thought about all of this before asking his wife to marry him.. And if he asked her just because she was pregnant with his baby, that's a nice thing to do but you DON'T have to get married especially if they weren't dating for very long. He could have waited a while to see if she was really the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and if she wasn't then just make sure his child is taken care of. Gotta get to know someone really well before you ask them to make a lifelong committment like getting married and having a child.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    He needs to tell his wife this, not just his buddies. If he really isn't happy he isn't honoring his vowes or respecting his wife then.

    Tell him to do the right thing and man up in the marriage or move on.
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member
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    Have you ever asked him how he would feel if he saw his wife with another man raising his child? And if he's ready for that, or the fact that if he leaves she might not take him back if he changes his mind. Or the fact that he will have to explain to his kid one day why he left his mother. I'm just saying.

    Don't forget to tell him" the grass might be greener on the other side, but the water bill is high as hell"
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I'm sorry, but what respect is there to be had for a man that dumps his wife and child because he refuses to grow up!? Seriously - the answer is simple yet revolutionary - be a man of your word - discover the meaning of integrity, honour and create a family heritage that few children have the benefit of being part of these days!
    You do know that women initiate more divorces these days than men do, right?
    Another little tip - there is a difference between a CONTRACT and a COVENANT. Marriage is intended to be a covenant - this means that there are no conditions - that the person signing up is signing up NO MATTER WHAT the other person does (of course breaking the marriage bond through adultery creates such a deep rift in the relationship that this could be seen as ONE exception). Unfortunately people today view marriage as a CONTRACT - basically, if the other person doesn't hold up their end of the deal, there is freedom to break it. Please please people, view your marriage as a covenant, there is nothing more sad and destructive as broken marriages - for the kids, the spouses and society in general!!
    I hate to break this to you, but marriage is a legal contract that can be dissolved at any time by one party unilaterally -- even if the other person holds up "their end". That's the legal landscape we live in now, and no amount of wishful thinking will change it.

    More power to you if you live your life this way (I am married, for life, of course) but you have to realize the law doesn't work that way, and your partner might not.

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