Your most humiliating "fat" experience.

Madame_Goldbricker

I can totally identify with many of the incidents people have mentioned, but on a personal upbeat note I now regularly go into work in my gym kit. This would have been unimaginable for me to do even 3wks back. Frankly I'd rather have died first (over dramatics at its best lol). Not sure what changed my mindset other than hell its easier to hit the gym ready than faff about lugging my kit in, & if the sight of me offends that much.. I'm more than willing to poke them in the eye.

laurenward1990

Gosh how awful, how a man could say you don't look nice in a swimsuit at 145lbs (which i'm not even at yet!) is so terrible. Society has too much of a 'fattist' attitude, I sometimes struggle with my self esteem issues, but I don't think i'm utterly revolting in a swimsuit.

Do you have any before and after pics of your weight loss? Here's mine if you're interested:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1039012-32lb-loss-progress-photos

laurenward1990

Gosh how awful, how a man could say you don't look nice in a swimsuit at 145lbs (which i'm not even at yet!) is so terrible. Society has too much of a 'fattist' attitude, I sometimes struggle with my self esteem issues, but most of the time I don't think i'm utterly revolting in a swimsuit.

Do you have any before and after pics of your weight loss? Here's mine if you're interested:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1039012-32lb-loss-progress-photos

MissyShelle776

Years ago, when I was still married, my ex-husband I were going to a company Christmas party. My mom had bought me a really nice outfit and I felt so pretty. On the drive there, my now ex-husband was acting weird. I asked him what was wrong and he said he was embarrassed to be seen with me. I was mortified.

Years later, I started running and lost 70 lbs. Guess who wasn't so embarrassed of me anymore? I still left because I couldn't handle him anymore.

I have gained some back but realize, I'm still beautiful but that comment, yeah, it's still always there.

Also, once I lost the 70 lbs, I spent years pretty thin. Over the past 2 years, I've put on like 30 lbs. A friend told me one day I'm still hot but grabbed my muffin top and said that I need to get rid of that. I slapped him. I guess that's the nice thing about being friends with someone so long, you can hit them.

He called later to apologize and said what he meant was he was worried about me. I was assaulted 2 years ago and he knows that's part of the reason for my weight gain and just wants me happy again. I told him if he ever grabs my muffin top again, I'll make sure he never breeds.

paigeslims

One time at school, I went to the toilet and a teacher went out of the room to get something. When I got back my 'friend' said that a boy said ''Quick don't let the teacher back in, where's Paige to barricade the door? Then everyone laughed. I felt uncomfortable and embarrassed the whole lesson.

kbcara

Walking home late at night (early hours of morning) from the station to my car (sober) and having a group of late teens/early 20s (all female) laugh at one of their group shouting 'OMG you are SO fat, that's disgusting' at me - when I was dressed in new clothes and had enjoyed a really lovely evening, and for once felt I looked OK, and let's face it I was just walking past minding my own business.

I cried all night and frequently for the next 2 days (the truth hurts) until I was physically sick and it drove me down, certainly didn't pick me up!

The worst thing was thinking of all the things I wish I'd said, but maybe best I didn't.

FlabFighter86

On more than one occasion where I have either been cycling or walking somewhere, and some idiot will yell in a passing car 'FATTYYYY'. Kinda hard to ignore and not get upset about it. Even when I am doing something to reduce my weight.

AJChenh

Honestly, the most humiliating fat experience I've ever had was not fitting into a ride at an amusement park...except it happened multiple times in one day. I even had to sit in a special seat to be able to fit into one. It's so humiliating being called out from a crowd because you're too fat. To this day, one of my ultimate goals is to fit into that one ride.

I have many other humiliating fat experiences but that one tops the cake.

Salesguy123

- playing soccer in my teen years and always finishing last in all the running drills was always tough, players and coaches always saying stupid comments
- meeting my wifes cousins kids for the first time and them saying " look its santa claus" that hurt....laughed it up at the time but i dont think my wife or her cousin know how much it bothered me

LittleLostMouse

I was in my freshman year of high school, at theater class, looking for a costume. I was with a few other girls looking at the different dresses when I found one I liked. I held it up to look at when one of the other girls laughed and said "That would never fit YOU!" I felt awful because she was right, and worse because none of the other dresses fit either.

dreambodin2011

we were away on a holiday with a big group of women/friends, a few of us decided to go horse riding. We travelled in the bus 45 minutes to the horse riding place, and the guys running the rides asks one of the girls in our group.... to stand on the scales (!!!)....he explains that anyone over 80kilos can't ride their horses in the heat.

My poor g/friend cried. She knew she was well above 80 so didn't bother getting on those scales. My heart broke for her...it was very embarrassing for her. She had to wait for us while we went on the ride! (I offered to stay with her but she insisted no. Gave her lots of hugs, but felt it only made it worse!).

This was a big wake up call for her and she has since come home and started a much healthier way of life.

postrockandcats

So I was waiting for the bus, and wearing a heavy winter jacket, mitts, scarf, hat, etc. And it was WINDY- so of course the bus pulls up and everyone races to form a line to get on their bus and a boatload of people let me go first. I was freezing and grumpy, and just accepted their kindness and got on. I was suspicious that they may have thought me pregnant so when I got home I left my gear on, checked myself out in the mirror and was horrified to see that not only were my suspicions confirmed but that I looked MEGA PREGGERS. (Without the jacket I just looked fat, but I had always avoided mirrors so I made myself ignorant of what I actually looked like.)

30C below with windchill?? That would have been a time when I wouldn't have minded being thought of as pregnant to get out of the cold faster. :laugh:

"Yup. Pregnant. Quints. Step aside." :glasses:

YaGigi

2 weeks ago a lady asked me if I was planning to breast feed for long.

I was like - *****, my boobs got bigger because of my pms.

postrockandcats

WHEW finally finished reading all of these! I'm sorry so many of you had to hear thoughtless comments that hurt you.

Oddly, even though almost all my weight is in my belly, I've no memory of being asked if I'm pregnant. Which is a shame as I have 33 years of comebacks piled up just waiting to be unleashed.

What I *do* have is a vivid memory of a former friend's dumb and tactless girlfriend* fat shaming a girl on TV ("why is she even on TV- she's so FAT!!!") and then saying "she's even fatter than YOU!" to me when I told her to deal with it. She instantly laughed at herself and tried apologizing while laughing, but I was having none of it. I was MAD. Hurt, too because I didn't like to think of my weight, but mainly mad that she was so tactless. I said something very cutting in her direction (can't remember what) and then left my friend's house soon after because I was still seething.

Two weeks later I was buying shoes and the GF walks up to me all friendly like and starts acting like my BFF. I gave her a weird look and asked her why she would think I would want anything to do with her and walked away. I only saw her once after that and she *still* tried being buddy buddy with me. :huh:

Then last year when fitting into airline seats and buckling seat belts became challenging combined with my eye doctor saying something (it was legit and well-presented concern, nothing rude or Concern Troll-y) sparked me to rise out of the funk I was in and do something. One year later and 75 pounds lighter, here I am.

*She was always dumb and tactless, even before she ticked me off; no one in our group liked her. She'd actively try sleeping with other men in our group when her BF wasn't around, even men who were with their spouses/ Girlfriends! Then there were the perpetually insulting and foul things coming from her mouth. Bonus: She was 5-foot-nothing and 98 pounds with a low body fat percentage, which was fine but she announced that any women larger than her was too fat, awkwardly tall and unattractive to everyone. :huh: Twit of a woman LOL

MJ_Watson

I was bullied for my weight a lot starting from around age ten or eleven (I actually was barely overweight at the time, but I was the first one in my grade to hit puberty and I think that had something to do with it... They also broke into my locker and filled it with tampons once. ). We had to sit with our classes in the cafeteria, and every day the girls in my class would gang up on me, saying things like "Ugh, it's gross to watch her eat" and "Wow, I'm not hungry any more after seeing that" loudly, making pig noises, etc. It was humiliating, and nobody did anything. The kids who actually liked me just went along with it and my parents reacted by putting me on a diet and making me run laps. This period of my life with pretty much the kick-off to my anorexia, and later, when I was in recovery, the secret binging that led to my weight gain. Almost fourteen years later, I still feel self-conscious eating in front of other people, like I'm disgusting them.

Probably my most embarrassing, though, was a few years after this. I'd always had a dream of being an actress but the idea of being "too fat" haunted me and I had to fight some pretty painful personal demons to participate, since I had very little self-confidence left and was a very shy, anxious person. Still, I took part in drama classes and camps because I loved it so much. That year, our school's drama club was putting on "A Midsummer Night's Dream" which was a favorite of mine. I'd already been in it the year before and hoped to be able to get a lead role since I had everything memorized and was, I thought, pretty good. I'd shared the fact that it was one of my favorites with the teacher before, along with the fact that I'd played Titania in the past and would enjoy doing it again. But when the cast list came out, I found that I was given a part as one of the bumpkins (basically, a bit part and playing a man, at that). I somehow worked up the nerve to ask the teacher what went wrong with my audition.

Her answer? "Well, you are a better actor than [the girl who got the part of Titania], but she'll fit into the costume and you won't." Seriously. I was so hurt, I didn't even know what to do with myself. When she gave me my costume for the part, it was so hard not to cry in front of everyone. A GIANT grey and orange felt poncho and a felt cone hat. Watching the other girl try on that pretty fairy gown and have it fit perfectly, standing in front of everyone in that outfit to say my two freaking lines... It doesn't seem like that big of a deal typing it out, but even now, it still upsets me. I dropped out of the club after the play and could never work up the nerve to try out for another one after that. It torpedoed my self-esteem, and I felt sure now that every time I tried out, they'd always be judging my weight and not my skill, that people were laughing at me for even thinking I could be on stage when I was so disgusting. Wish I'd had the backbone to say *kitten* 'em and do what I loved anyway, but I just didn't. Those were really bad times for me...

MyM0wM0w

She had to wait for us while we went on the ride! (I offered to stay with her but she insisted no. Gave her lots of hugs, but felt it only made it worse!).

Heads up, the next time she says that "No, really, it's OK, go ahead"... DON'T GO! Stay with her and go for a nice walk or a drive or something.

Junkergal

I always try to find ways to help this man understand. He is like talking to a wall. He seems like an emotionless hole sometimes. Of course he wasn't always like that. He said that in the beginning when a guy wants sex, he will do anything he needs to do to get it on a regular basis. What?! I figured as much. In hind sight I wonder why I was ever so blind. But it is what it is now. This is what happens when we believe in our heart that someone is really good underneath and that they deserve a chance.
I guess to answer my own question, I do find that memories such as this do hold me back at times. I don't dwell on the bad stuff, but sometimes I am reminded when I see a certain picture or read or hear a certain comment. Letting go of hurt feelings is something I need to work on in my own life. Not just for my health, but for my happiness.

So you aren't blind now. Does he still deserve more and more second chances? What about you? What do you deserve?

I too have a hard time letting go of hurt feelings. It has caused me to eat to swollow and numb those emotions. Mostly because the hurting was still happening and ongoing daily. That has stopped now and I am trying to stop the habit it has become. Has the hurting stopped for you? Is it in the past or ongoing? And is it what you want for your future?

MrsG31

Well, it does not seem that the OP has commented on this thread since back in March, so I won't go there about her jacka$$ of a husband.

I have never been obese, and probabaly not even extremely overweight when you consider the healthy BMI range for my height. But I have still have encountered cruelty and had my fair share of embarrassing stories. Most include things my own mother has said to me, or kids (sometimes my own!) saying stuff about my big belly or being asked if I am pregnant/when I am due when I was not pregnant. What's funny is how many of us have encountered that same question, but I know when I have told people that it has happened to me they always seemed shocked that someone would even assume that, that is like the dumbest thing someone could say. From seeing all you that have gone through it, it is obviously pretty common and the people I know who are shocked about have never heard themselves I guess. Hopefully since I told them it happened to me they remembered to always keep their mouth shut in the future unless you are 100% sure. And really, don't say something until they do!

But aside from my mom and the pregnant questions, the most humilating story I can recall not only made me feel like a fat cow, but ugly and self-conscious. I had attended a friends birthday party at her house. It wasn't just any party, she decided to have a Romance Party, where the sales rep comes and shows you all the products. It's really just a fun girls night thing, no biggie. I knew they had planned on going out afterwards, but for some reason I was not dressed for a night out. It was so long ago that I don't remember if I planned on not going with them b/c I didn't know most of the girls very well, or if I had planned on going home to change first....I don't remember that part. What I do remember is somehow ending up in a limo with 3 beautiful, thin Asian girls, one blonde bombshell, and me. I was not dressed for the club and weighed about 20 lbs more than I do now, which is a good bit on a under 5'2" woman. We got in for free b/c the blonde's fiance was a bouncer and we also got into VIP seating area b/c of this. We were all having a good time, laughing, drinking, and dancing. We were making our way to the VIP area and I got seperated from the group. I approached the velvet rope and stood there waiting for the bouncer to open it up; I thought he would have seen me with them earlier and knew I was with them. When he looked at me like "Um, you lost?" I said, "Oh, I am with them" and pointed to my posse. That a$$wipe turned around to check them out and then looked back me, up and down, made like a guffaw sound, and said, "Yeah...right" and did not let me through. I was SO embarrased. My friend saw me and came up and told the guy to let me in. I meekly slinked in and sat with them, and became super interested in my glass and the leather on the chair so they couldn't see my eyes welling up with tears. It was so awful.

Thankfully the next time her birthday came around, she did the same thing, Romance Party, but then we all went to a gay bar to see a drag show and had an effin' blast!