I just can't manage 1200 cats a day

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

I was going to suggest juicing your cats, and drinking them, but someone already hit that one.

Now, I don't know if you caught the thread this past weekend. There has been some very cutting edge science published exclusively on MFP. It showed that an egg is a potential chicken, so eating an egg would result in you consuming the calories you would get from eating an entire chicken. Eggs are gametes, and so are sperm. Therefore, faux logic would predict that the same would hold true to the sperm (another gamete).

Apparently, you should eat only the male cats. Each male cat has thousands of sperm, each of which is a potential new cat. So, by eating one male cat, you also are eating all of his progeny, and can have your 1200 (if not more) all at once.

Hm...but I don't think you're suppose to go over...

Just go for a big burn at the end of the day.

SpeSHul_SnoflEHk

Siamese cats -- basically you only need 600 of those.

MMRF!!!

I've never been loved by a cyclops before.

Look deeply into my eye.

The last time I you told me to do that, it spit on me.

LOL. I love you.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

Siamese cats -- basically you only need 600 of those.

MMRF!!!

I've never been loved by a cyclops before.

Look deeply into my eye.

The last time I you told me to do that, it spit on me.

LOL. I love you.

:blushing: :bigsmile:

CristinaL1983

I get so tired of this conversation. It's not about NUMBER of cats, it's about the QUALITY of your cats. Refined cats are not healthy - whole, unprocessed cats are best.

Haven't you seen the posts about the guy who ate nothing but kitty puffs and is in really good shape? Obviously quality of cats is important but it is not as important as the number of cats.

If you only eat processed cats but in the right quantities you can still lose weight. If you eat completely organic, unprocessed, grass fed cats but in the wrong quantities, you will still gain weight.

Untrue. Monsanto's GMO cats make up the majority of processed cats in this country! They have been proven to simulate weight gain, no matter how few one eats.

This is just ridiculous, as long as you hit your macros and micros Long hair/Short hair/Hairless, it doesn't matter what you eat. You aren't going to lose extra weight just because you eat unprocessed. Maybe some of them that haven't been groomed with chemical shampoos will have a few extra nutrients but even the mass-groomed cats that are only fed meow mix will still keep you healthy.

Next you are going to tell me that cat milk is only for kittens. Ridiculous. Have you ever even tried cat milk ice cream?

tkotaka

re: furballs. Great source of fiber!

Otterluv

You people are bullies. I've been eating at under 1000 gross cats for months, and I feel FINE! My hair is shiny and my belches smell like roses.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Carnivor0us

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

gc_tweety

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

I never want it to end!!!

cindiva65

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

I never want it to end!!!

You let the cat outta the bag...ya mean we gotta stop tomorrow....dang it all!

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

Sometimes I weep for humanity.

ZeroWoIf

I'll try to post a helpful and serious post. Not being able to manage 1200 calories is hard to believe. In my theory this is not due to the number but the anxiety people have when choosing foods. If you want to manage 1200 calories then buy the following foods.

1. Brown Rice
2. Sweet Potatoes
3. Any Dark Green For fiber
4. Oatmeal makes you full would recommend it but in your case you may want to avoid it if your stomach gets full easily or satisfied.
5. Lean meat choices such as chicken breast, lean steak, eggs, and etc.
6. All natural peanut butter.
7. Water no Juices
8. spices for your food, don't want your food tasting like cardboard box.

Your grocery should be this simple and you should base your meal plans from them. Now if you are not feeling hungry and don't want to eat then there may be external factors affecting this. Try to get over what issues you have to allow you to continue a healthy life. I left out number 9 and that one is fried cat. Just kidding! Anything else is pretty much serious. 1200 is nothing, I bet you had mcdonalds meals that were almost that amount.

subconscious_ink

If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on their feet what happens if you butter the back of a cat?

Does it hover?

The cat hovers only if the ratio of bread to butter is the same as the ratio of cat to butter. Otherwise the physical properties of the cat overpower the properties of the butter, so the cat lands on its feet. (Or, if you somehow have more butter than cat, the cat lands butter side down)

For example, if your typical ratio of bread/butter is 28 grams of bread and 5 grams of butter, then if you have an 11 pound cat (4989 grams) you would have to butter that cat with almost 2 pounds of butter (891 grams) for it to hover.

Didn't they teach you the cat/butter theory in high school physics? Geez, what kind of school did you go to?

subconscious_ink

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Maybe you're just hangry? Try some cat with coconut oil.

kitkat4141

ROTFLMAO

I've got nothing, it's all been said.

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

Maybe you're just hangry? Try some cat with coconut oil.

MayaSPapaya

I swear, if it was my first day here I would be so confused. :laugh:

busywaterbending

this helped me allot:

dbmata

I keep reading everywhere that you should eat more than 1200 cats a day. But I just can't eat that many. The most I've managed is 500 and that's because it's Easter weekend.

Please tell me how you fit so many cats in?

First, get a meat grinder. Then juice the ground cat.

You'll get all 1200 in.

LovesStrays

I'll try to post a helpful and serious post. Not being able to manage 1200 calories is hard to believe. In my theory this is not due to the number but the anxiety people have when choosing foods. If you want to manage 1200 calories then buy the following foods.

1. Brown Rice
2. Sweet Potatoes
3. Any Dark Green For fiber
4. Oatmeal makes you full would recommend it but in your case you may want to avoid it if your stomach gets full easily or satisfied.
5. Lean meat choices such as chicken breast, lean steak, eggs, and etc.
6. All natural peanut butter.
7. Water no Juices
8. spices for your food, don't want your food tasting like cardboard box.

Your grocery should be this simple and you should base your meal plans from them. Now if you are not feeling hungry and don't want to eat then there may be external factors affecting this. Try to get over what issues you have to allow you to continue a healthy life. I left out number 9 and that one is fried cat. Just kidding! Anything else is pretty much serious. 1200 is nothing, I bet you had mcdonalds meals that were almost that amount.

Hmm, all good suggestions, but have you thought about having a pop tart cat sandwich - as an occasional treat, going over your 1200 cats a day once in a while can help bump your metabolism and allow you to burn those cats more efficiently. :drinker: