Not pregnant... but thanks for asking?

12467

Replies

  • htiafyenaffit
    htiafyenaffit Posts: 64 Member
    I haven't had that happen but I think its ridiculous ... unless the person looks like they're legit about to pop there is no reason to ask its not your business anyways if they wanted you to know they would tell you. There is a big difference between fat and pregnant the shape is a huge give away I can't understand people. Once my mom went with me to the drs office and some women came up touched her belly and said how far are you? and I went into protective ***** mode lol I was like um shes not ****ing pregnant hahah my mom didn't like that though
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Just say "I'm not pregnant." No apologies. They don't mean any harm by it, even if it totally upsets you. They'll likely be more embarrassed.
  • Microfiber
    Microfiber Posts: 956 Member
    I observed a man giving up his seat on the train for this lady. I could tell straightaway that she was NOT pregnant. The lady took the seat and sat there sneakily wiping away tears. The man was oblivious.

    I know a lot of men who'd give up their seat for a lady whether she looks pregnant or not..chivalry I guess. Not in NYC though.

    This. Maybe he wasn't oblivious and was just being nice.

    He was oblivous to her tears but I noticed it (being a fellow woman) :smile:
  • tbullucks06
    tbullucks06 Posts: 128
    I'm sorry but as far as I am concerned you NEVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant, end of story no matter what.
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I always thought it was a general rule not to ask if somone if they were pregnant, just incase they are not!. One benefit of looking prego is great parking at costco lol

    Even if a baby is coming out of her, wait for her to say she's pregnant.
  • KatWood
    KatWood Posts: 1,135 Member
    I have the opposite problem. I am pregnant and I fear that because I am so big (all over not just my belly) I will never actually look pregnant. I would love to have the beautiful shape of a pregnant woman to tell the world that I am expecting. But I think I will only look fat and not pregnant. Right now I am at 3.5 months. We will see what happens in a few months. I have considered buying a few maternity t-shirts with cute slogans on it so that it will be more obvious to people that I am pregnant. Is it sad that this is important to me?

    I agree that asking a woman if she is pregnant when you are not sure is rude but I also agree that people don't mean to be offensive and really they are just trying to share your joy and celebrate what they think is a special event in your life.
  • gwynethsmom
    gwynethsmom Posts: 5
    I get it all the time! Sometimes I just don't respond and other times I tell them I'm six months. Lol
  • NYCNika
    NYCNika Posts: 611 Member
    If you hang out on a pregnancy forum you will find many women p*d off that people assume they are just fat instead of pregnant.

    And that happens. And that has more real consequence.

    BTW, before I got pregnant and was hot, men gave up their seats for me all the time. But when I was in my 3rd trimester pregnant with twins, NO ONE gave up their seat for me anymore. Now THAT is a reason to be ticked off.
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I swear, if I had a dollar for every time someone awkwardly asks me if I'm pregnant... I'd have enough money for liposuction. :wink:

    Seriously though...

    And then there's the awkward "oh, I'm not..." and like, what do you say then? "Sorry I have so much belly fat that it confused you and made you think i was actually growing another human being in there? Nope, I'm just fat."

    Sigh...

    Unless they see you crowning, nobody should EVER ask anyone if they are expecting!

    Hahahaha. Best post ever!
  • nataliefamily3
    nataliefamily3 Posts: 189 Member
    My first day back to work after pregnancy. Leave a customer asked when I was having the baby. I still see him and refuse to wait on him. I mean he is there every day he did not notice I was gone 8 weeks? Not to mention i really was not large! Grr.

    On the other hand my mom was checking out a lady who appeared 9 months pregnant. Buying nothing but cleaning supplies and my mom told her be careful some are harmful to baby and the lady said she wasn't pregnant. My mom wanted to sink into floor
  • JustForMe2
    JustForMe2 Posts: 7
    6 years ago, I had recently gotten married and I had a new boss at work. He was always opening doors for me and pulling out my chair in meetings, etc. Asking me if my feet hurt... odd because I worked in a cubicle. One day, a coworker was talking about blood sugar and I mentioned how I struggle with keeping mine low. He asked if I had gestational diabetes. Ummnm.... no.... ???? He said, "oh I just thought with you being pregnant it had to do with that.." I WISH I knew at the time what was really going on. I had Ovarian cancer (undiagnosed at the time - found out 3 weeks later) and my tumor weight 21 pounds. He felt SOOOO bad after I told him I was going into surgery!!

    Then... I ran into this man several months ago at Subway. I don't have cancer, no tumor, this time just fat. So... he sees me with my son and we chatted and he said, "I know you'll get that baby weight off fast just like with the tumor!"

    I could almost see his foot moving toward his mouth when I told him, "He's adopted."
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    WhenToAskAWomenIfSheIsPregnant-21984.jpg
  • sdarnold
    sdarnold Posts: 2
    I've had this happen too many times. My favorite story: I am a nurse and one day a patient says to me "so my wife and I have a bet going. I say your fat but she thinks your pregnant. Will you come in the room and answer the question so I can prove I'm right?" No joke, it happened. I had no idea how to respond and of course could not answer how I wanted to, like "well we have have a bet on how you lost your teeth, meth or someone punch you for being an idiot." I always find this question to motivate me and begin my workout that day!!
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    Never ever ever ever ask a girl that unless you are 100% sure. Oh my goodness...that would be very embarrassing. I dont think I have a huge stomach but babyboll shirts make me look that way. I think sometimes its the clothes that extenuate body areas that are really not that big.
  • msudaisy28
    msudaisy28 Posts: 267 Member
    I've always had a pot belly, even when I was a skinny teenager. I can't even begin to count the number of times I've been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't. I even had a dream a few nights ago that I was at a dance club with some girlfriends and I was asked if I was preggo. In my dream I went along with it and played it up :)

    Seriously though, it's awkward and embarrassing for both you and for the other person. I always say I'm not and leave it at that. If it's a situation where I can walk away, then I do so, otherwise I let the conversation lul for a minute, then change the subject. I figure that they aren't likely to make that mistake again!
  • MIssFinny
    MIssFinny Posts: 194 Member
    One day I went into Target (where I used to work) and my old boss asked "Did you have a baby?" Mind you, at this point I had already lost about 40 or so pounds. I told him no and all he could say was " Oh. I thought I'd heard that you did." What an awkward moment.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
    I'm sorry but as far as I am concerned you NEVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant, end of story no matter what.

    Not even if you see the baby emerging from the womb do you ask that question. So rude!
  • kathiegym
    kathiegym Posts: 2 Member
    Hahaha, the best answer ever!
    You had a great sense of irony taken that you were only 17...
  • Dead_Darling
    Dead_Darling Posts: 478 Member
    Someone asked me once if I was pregnant, but I was bloated after a massive meal! Thank goodness it's never happened again!
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    (take note, I was only 17 when this happened)

    I was working as a cashier at Walmart, and this customer asked me "So, when is your baby due?". Being the snarky little person that I am I replied back "The same time yours is." She looked confused and said "but I'm not...." and I was like "yeah, neither am I - and I'd hope not, considering I'm 17. So sorry, I'm just a fat teenager." She was mortified and so embarrassed.

    I finished checking her out, told her to have a great day. Then she left and I started bawling. The CSM overheard everything though and let me take the rest of the night off.

    I think "the same time yours is" is a great answer, LOL. But then I'm snarky, too. I've never had anyone ask me, but I've had a few people offer me a seat on the train or something and assumed it was because they thought I was.
  • jlapey
    jlapey Posts: 1,850 Member
    I'm going to fashion some sort of water bag with a release trigger to be strapped to the inner thigh. The next time some one asks, I'll gasp, "Oh My Gosh, RIGHT NOW!" and release the water from the bag.
  • KariBethCook
    KariBethCook Posts: 16 Member
    (take note, I was only 17 when this happened)

    I was working as a cashier at Walmart, and this customer asked me "So, when is your baby due?". Being the snarky little person that I am I replied back "The same time yours is." She looked confused and said "but I'm not...." and I was like "yeah, neither am I - and I'd hope not, considering I'm 17. So sorry, I'm just a fat teenager." She was mortified and so embarrassed.

    I finished checking her out, told her to have a great day. Then she left and I started bawling. The CSM overheard everything though and let me take the rest of the night off.

    That is the best reply I've ever heard to that! I'm not quick witted enough to think of something like that to say... But it sucks when people make assumptions like that.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    It is not rude to ask a women if she is pregnent. If she looks prenent then it is not the askers fault. If you look pregnent and you are offended then you are the one being rude if you decide to take offense. (assuming someone is honestly asking of course and not just being mean)

    Your intent might not be rude, but the result is. And it can also be devastating, so please reconsider your thought process on this. Unless the subject is brought up, you should not mention it. The daughter of a man I work with is going through a miscarriage of twins at 19 weeks right now. She still looks pregnant, and once the ordeal is over she will still look pregnant for a while. A person who takes your attitude puts her in the position of either having to tell you the truth (which is absolutely none of your business) or quietly harboring the pain of your question (which you never should have asked). The status of a woman's uterus is not up for discussion, unless she says it is.
  • wendyc5056
    wendyc5056 Posts: 9
    This happened to me at a family funeral =( I knew I was overweight but didn't realize how bad I actually looked. I felt horrible and the one asking felt bad after I responded I was just fat and was done having children. Since then I resolved to lose weight but didn't know the right way since nothing was helping. It is a very horrible feeling and all I did was cry that night.
  • kld4239
    kld4239 Posts: 186 Member
    I love the response "No, I'm just fat. Thanks for asking." It puts the other person on the spot and hopefully it will be last time they ever ask anyone the question.

    I remember a few years ago shopping at the grocery store rolling by my stuffed cart and a little kid about 5 or so said, "Mommy, is that BIG lady going to eat ALL of that food???" Of course his Mom was mortified. I was good humored and laughed it off at the time but I remember driving home from the grocery store that day wondering, when did I become the "fat lady"?
  • AnimePrincess13
    AnimePrincess13 Posts: 60 Member
    I had this happen to me a year after my daughter was born and on one of my last days at work before becoming a stay at home mom. He was a well known customer and I just told Him a year ago. He looked really embarrassed and apologized. I tried to laugh it off but in my head I was crying and that got my butt into gear to get my lazy butt up and moving. Now I'm doing Insanity and going for daily evening walks with my family. So though embarrassing I'm kind of glad it happened or I might still be lazy. And I don't want my daughter to grow up like that.
  • Gail3260
    Gail3260 Posts: 354 Member
    Yes it happened to me too after I had my first......still not quite as bad as what happened after I had my second.....I was standing in the school playground with him in a pram about 2 weeks old waiting for my 5 year old to come out and a complete stranger walked up to me and said "Hello, is that your daughter's baby?" Charming!
  • ShandiH
    ShandiH Posts: 232 Member
    I asked that question once of someone who wasn't pregnant. We smoothed it over but I have never since asked that question of any woman. Even if she looks like she's due tomorrow,I figure she can volunteer it.

    Me too. Even as the words were slipping out, I regretted it so very much . . . "oh, how stupid I am!" I thought. Just made a fool out of myself and ruined her day! Karma got me later on though as I've also been on the other end of the horrid question . . . ugh!!
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    It is not rude to ask a women if she is pregnent. If she looks prenent then it is not the askers fault. If you look pregnent and you are offended then you are the one being rude if you decide to take offense. (assuming someone is honestly asking of course and not just being mean)

    Your intent might not be rude, but the result is. And it can also be devastating, so please reconsider your thought process on this. Unless the subject is brought up, you should not mention it. The daughter of a man I work with is going through a miscarriage of twins at 19 weeks right now. She still looks pregnant, and once the ordeal is over she will still look pregnant for a while. A person who takes your attitude puts her in the position of either having to tell you the truth (which is absolutely none of your business) or quietly harboring the pain of your question (which you never should have asked). The status of a woman's uterus is not up for discussion, unless she says it is.

    i disagree. using that logic, never ask if someone is ok because maybe they just lost a family member to cancer
  • elle2bee
    elle2bee Posts: 70 Member
    LOL, I only laugh at this because the other day I went to see my OBGYN and I have recently in the past 6 months put back on 50 lbs. (Stress eating, break up..blah blah blah). I'm Czech, so I am the lucky lady who gains weight in my tummy region. I just so happen to wear this silky flowing tube top dress with a cardigan over it. I love that dress, but I also know it does nothing for my figure and tends to make me look rounder. Anyway, when I was standing up at the reception counter to sign in for my appointment in a room full of preganent women, I heard the conversation of a mother a daughter talking about me. The daughter said, awe, I love her dress. She has such a cute baby belly. I wish I looked like that. While I was flattered that she likes my clothing and thought I was cute, I was devestated that she thought I was probably there for a follow up sonogram. First time I have ever been mistaken as being preggers. I wasn't offended, I was disappointed in myself that I let myself gain this much weight back.

Categories