Not pregnant... but thanks for asking?

Marley112586

I got this question a few years ago after having my first born. Im 5'10 and weighed 165 lbs. I was on the chunky side but shouldnt have passed for pregnant. Unless someone exclusively gains weight in the stomach and NOWHERE else its a good shot they were just an @$$.

Phoenix_Rising

(take note, I was only 17 when this happened)

I was working as a cashier at Walmart, and this customer asked me "So, when is your baby due?". Being the snarky little person that I am I replied back "The same time yours is." She looked confused and said "but I'm not...." and I was like "yeah, neither am I - and I'd hope not, considering I'm 17. So sorry, I'm just a fat teenager." She was mortified and so embarrassed.

I finished checking her out, told her to have a great day. Then she left and I started bawling. The CSM overheard everything though and let me take the rest of the night off.

PERFECT REPLY! (if you are in a snarky mood)

Just tell people you ate your twin.
But seriously, here's to you not having to deal with this in the near future! :drinker:

Bwahahahahaha!!! I love it. Scare them away!! Make sure you keep a straight face.

:-( So sorry for you, that sucks. I think the worst time that happened to me was at the bank, I was wearing a long, flowy dress and the lady behind the counter asked when I was due. I said I wasn't pregnant, so she pointed at my belly and said "Oh, I thought that was a baby". Nope, just a big lunch, sigh....

If only you'd been mentally prepared to fire back, "Well obviously you're an idiot since I've already told you it wasn't and you are continuing this conversation."

Two things -
One - You'll get to where you need to be so eff em
Two - I've answered the are you pregnant question before and my response was... very sweetly I looked at the person and smiled and said "Nope, I'm just fat but thanks for asking"... she actually looked mortified :laugh: - by far more embarrassed than I was. From then on that was my answer in the same way...

I did this once. Agreed -- they were horrified and I guarantee you, they learned their lesson!

When I was working as a cashier at a supermarket and at my heaviest, I had a woman ask when I was due. When I said "Oh, I'm not pregnant", she gave me a snotty look and said "well you LOOK it". I was so angry! WHAT A B****!!! So I responded "And you're ugly. At least there's something I can do for myself!" Thankfully, she tucked her tail between her legs and left because I was so shocked at myself that I said something so rude. Not to mention I have no idea what I'd do if she continued and made a scene!

I have thought about saying that before myself!!!!




Obviously I've been in the same boat as you ladies. I had an emergency stomach surgery. While not eating for 5 days in a hospital should make you lose weight, my body retaliated by gaining weight and swelling... at my stomach. My husband took me out for dinner a week or two later, when I was still swollen and very careful of my healing incision... which happened to be a straight line from the bottom of my rib cage to a couple inches above my belly button.

This was when restaurants still had smoking sections here (about 5 years ago). We walked in, me tenderly holding my incision. The host started to ask if we wanted smoking or non-smoking and stopped, saying "Oh, you want non-smoking since you will be having a little baby". I realized how my hand was rested, how my stomach looked, and just nodded. He didn't mean any harm. It took every ounce of strength within me not to burst into tears.

And yes, surgery aside, I was overweight so the little extra swelling did the trick perfectly.

His_Buttercup2015

I had my 1 year old daughter in a shopping cart wearing on of my nicest (in my mind at the time) outfits. As I passed by a pair of people sitting on a bench I could hear them debating whether I was pregnant or not. My sister was with me. My THIN sister. I was soo embarrassed for me and for her to have to hear that. I haven't worn it since.

munanabanana

On my train ride to school I saw a young lady who was slender but had a protruding lower belly, I completely thought she was pregnant (at least 5-7 months or so from the looks of it) and didn't know if I should offer her my seat or not. She kept her hands gently on her belly too. But there were plenty of empty seats and space around her and she chose not to sit so I just kept my mouth shut.

I had good intentions though, I didn't want to be judgmental and hurt her feelings but I also didn't want her to have to stand for the whole ride! Was irrelevant anyways, she left soon after boarding.

MyChocolateDiet

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time someone awkwardly asks me if I'm pregnant... I'd have enough money for liposuction.

Seriously though...

And then there's the awkward "oh, I'm not..." and like, what do you say then? "Sorry I have so much belly fat that it confused you and made you think i was actually growing another human being in there? Nope, I'm just fat."

Sigh...

To me if you have to ask "awkwardly" that means you are unsure, and you shouldn't be asking. Why is it anyone's business? Still don't get this. I see a clearly pregnant woman every single day at school pick up, and still don't feel comfortable bringing it up just simply because she is not someone in my circle. She's dropped and everything and has steadily grown larger for months as expected. I don't get people. Is there no decorum/respect anymore? Yesterday a man literally reached out his car window to CLOSE MY car door WHILE i struggled with the rear door to put my crying child in his car seat. Mine had to remain open for the door to remain unlocked while I opened my child's door, they have the automatic lock feature if you take too long, and my kid was crying so i wasn't sure he'd be cooperative or need extra consoling before I could get the door open. This man had been in the passenger seat apparently waiting for someone, (the driver possibly?) since i'd parked and waited there for roughly 15 minutes for school to let out. Then he remained in the car while I got out to get my child, so I had no reasonable expectation to think he needed to get out, nor was I parked on the lines or crooked or in any way shape or form blocking his exit should he suddenly decide to get out.

When I asked the man "really?" he goes LOUDLY, "YEAH! YOUR DOOR TOUCHED MY CAR!" ummm? no it didn't. not even close. "Seriously?" though, I mean you see a petite woman struggling with a school aged child and your galant response is to come in and worry about your beat up piece of crap truck that you are in the PASSENGER's seat of so I question whether you even own the thing, and come in and make her and the kid's life MORE DIFFICULT and awkward. EVERY SINGLE OTHER MAN I know would have gotten out of his truck during the 15 feet I carried my crying son to the car to ASSIST me in getting the doors open and the kid in the car.

Why are people changing so much and for the worse? And what is happening to some men, who seem to have forgotten manhood completely but rather than remain neutral, have gone the whole OPPOSITE direction. I mean really it would have been better if he'd just remained in the reclined position that had me fooled into thinking he was lazily napping the entire time waiting for his wife/SO to handle the task of collecting the kid from school. Why wake up and harrass me though? Worst part is his long brawny arms managed to do this from BEHIND a partially closed tinted glass window so this whole exchange happened with my never even getting to lay eyes on the man's face. And as I'd walked away with my child and enlisted the protection of the parking attendant, I needed to follow the rules and leave immediately without waiting to see anything identifying like which child they picked up or get their license not that I could do anything with this information anyway, but just basically he gets totally away with it from behind a tinted window. Creepy, eerie, and uncalled for. Why do people like this even show their face at school. Honestly if you have a gruff monstrous grouch in your home, don't bring him to pick up. For the kid's sake.

ms_leanne

I know at my heaviest I've been asked a couple of times if I am pregnant and yes it has bothered me.

There were times on the train men gave up their seats for me but I don't know if those situs were because I looked pregnant or perhaps because I looked like death from the stress at work.

supplemama

Eh, I'm not so certan it's a rude question, depending on how you are shaped. Late-term pregnancy has a specific shape and all. I once asked a woman when she was due because she had a thin face/neck, thin arms, thin legs, and this huge, very round, very protruding belly area, and she was waddling in that way pregnant women do. She went off on me and insisted she was not pregnant. Um, ok? Looks like a duck and so on. Maybe she had a stomach tumor or something, I don't know. I definitely learned from that never to ask. If the woman brings it up, no problem, but don't bring it up first.

Supern0va81

It's like the person asking has a right to know and enquire!!! They don't seem to consider your right to privacy and that even if you were then it is information that you would want to offer, not be asked for.

I have been asked too many times, and on the flip side often wonder when/if someone might eventually ask how much weight I've really lost.

The best part of having an interest in your nutrition and fitness is not giving a damn about what other people think (99% of the time) because you already know that what you are doing is right for you and the best possible action into leading a healthier lifestyle one step at a time.

Alison12121

I know how you feel. I've had those looks before, and whispers. One woman at work would sneak looks at my stomach to see if it was getting bigger.

No, I'm not having a baby. I'm having a sandwich. :laugh: I would never ask if someone was pregnant, even if I saw them giving birth.

lacharp

It is not rude to ask a women if she is pregnent. If she looks prenent then it is not the askers fault. If you look pregnent and you are offended then you are the one being rude if you decide to take offense. (assuming someone is honestly asking of course and not just being mean)

Ah good. We can start asking you nosy questions about the state of your innards or what you've doing with your sexual organs then?

Back on track, I don't think people mean to be rude, of course, because as someone else said, they just want to pass on their happiness. But there are many reasons not to comment, such as some mentioned in this thread. And it's not always the "fault" of the person, like the woman who mentioned her medical problems and some people have even had tumors that were mistaken for pregnancies. You don't walk up to a person (male or female) and ask if they've had breast implants, hair plugs, microdermabrasion, lipo, etc. Lay off on asking what's inside someone's uterus and how it got there and when you're planning to get something there.

Yes, this, exactly!

And I agree that people don't mean to be rude when they ask. Weight problems aside, I just think it's a rude topic of conversation - as you said, you don't walk up to someone and ask about anything else about their body unless they volunteer it! This also came up at a work function, where I think even if you're 1,000% sure that the woman is pregnant you shouldn't bring it up, because you don't know who at her job she's told. Plus, I also felt like, in a professional setting there are a ton of things related to my job that you can use to strike up a conversation, it did not need to be about my body!

ItsCasey

I observed a man giving up his seat on the train for this lady. I could tell straightaway that she was NOT pregnant. The lady took the seat and sat there sneakily wiping away tears. The man was oblivious.

I know a lot of men who'd give up their seat for a lady whether she looks pregnant or not..chivalry I guess. Not in NYC though.

This. Maybe he wasn't oblivious and was just being nice.

Skratchie

A couple of years ago, I was starting a new job,where I'd been a contractor up until that point. I went to the in-office clinic to do my drug test, and that particular day, I was wearing an empire waist top. When I walked in, a bunch of the clinic workers were standing there chatting, and one looks at me and says, "Oh My God! I hope you're not in labor!"

I was mortified. I said, "No, I'm just here for my pre-employment drug test," and they all scattered. The receptionist says, "So, when are you due?" I responded with, "I'm NOT pregnant, and it's incredibly rude to even ask someone such a question! If you want to do your friends a favor, you'll pass that bit of advice along to them as well!"

Jerrypeoples

being 43 and getting past my prime i know not to ask a woman if shes preggers


i DO however ask skinny broads if theyd like to get pregnant

truewheelbmx

(take note, I was only 17 when this happened)

I was working as a cashier at Walmart, and this customer asked me "So, when is your baby due?". Being the snarky little person that I am I replied back "The same time yours is." She looked confused and said "but I'm not...." and I was like "yeah, neither am I - and I'd hope not, considering I'm 17. So sorry, I'm just a fat teenager." She was mortified and so embarrassed.

I finished checking her out, told her to have a great day. Then she left and I started bawling. The CSM overheard everything though and let me take the rest of the night off.

haha nice!

plynn54

I always thought it was a general rule not to ask if somone if they were pregnant, just incase they are not!. One benefit of looking prego is great parking at costco lol

MissTattoo

:-( I sadly ended up being one of those people who asked. It was when I was 22 and working at a call center. Usually I could tell from preggo belly vs fat belly. This taller woman was skinny everywhere. Like her face, arms, legs, etc were all skinny, but she looked like she was having triplets. She even had the preggo walk and I saw her rubbing her stomach in the hall.

So one day when she was standing with another coworker and me complaining about work, I said "Well, when do you go on maternity leave?"

And she laughed and said she wasn't pregnant. I turned purple but she said it was okay because she gets asked daily if she was.

I don't think I could leave the house if every day someone asked if I were pregnant and I wasn't. She said people ask to rub her stomach all the time.

wifealiciousness

Oh yes! How awful! Thankfully never happened to me....


Ps, yes, I AM pregnant. And weirdly, that actually doesn't make it ok to ask! I was visiting my old work recently (I had much less bump than in my picture) and one lady didn't let me finish telling her and was asking 'are you pregnant?'. A)it's my news b) what I'd I wasn't? :-S

squatsandlipgloss

I cannot even imagine people being slow enough to make that move to ask someone if they are pregnant. I have never been asked this, even though I know I am sure people have every reason to believe that I am...

Forget about them.

LibertyBelle89

this happened to me about 6 months ago.... i had on a babydoll tee so that made it look more obvious too.. the waitress seated us & when i went to the restroom & came back, my bf said she had asked him how far along i was!?!? ughhhh so embarassing lol

kmcgarey

Coworker: "That is the cutest dress!"
Me: "Thank you!"
Coworker: "They're making such cute maternity clothes now."

Whaa...?

I didn't say anything else. I guess she figured it out when I didn't pop out a kid a few months later.