Texting is NOT ENOUGH, Pick Up the Damned Phone!!

sugarandspice27

I'm 31, been off the market for many years and now just recently back on and the degraded state of dating is really disappointing, to the point I really don't even want to do it at all. Since when is solely texting an acceptable means of communication? Whatever happened to the good old days when a man actually picked up a phone and asked a girl on a date? Now it just seems like a never ending cycle of texting. And what happened to dating? It seems like men don't ask women on legit dates anymore. And why does the conversation turn to sexual innuendo so quickly? Is this what we've become reduced to as a society? I feel like finding an attractive, responsible, respectful man, interested in getting to know my mind and willing to take me out on a real date is like trying to find a purple unicorn.

I understand that women are expected to do things like call the guy first and ask him out but I really don't like the tone that sets for the relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess? Yeah, I guess I'm jaded with the new man-child I see around me. Are all the good ones snatched up by their 30s?

EDIT: Let me clarify: I LIKE texting! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But if that's the ONLY way we communicate, I have a problem with this. And when I said, Pick up the phone, it could be for 5 minutes, just to say "Hi, how was your day? Want to grab a drink?". I mean, is this absurd?

nightengale7

It does seem like it can be harder to find that special someone these days. I think that's why so many people have turned to online dating sites. One of my brothers met his wife that way and they are very happy

ShifuYaku

I know, it seems guys don't want to go on a date unless they are really expecting to get some. That's just ridiculous.

milf_n_cookies

I'd rather a text, guess i'm strange like that. It annoys me when my phone rings, unless it's someone I agreed to talk to.

Penny427

I'd rather a text, guess i'm strange like that. It annoys me when my phone rings, unless it's someone I agreed to talk to.

Agreed, I hate talking on the phone and theres always an awkward silence lol

TylerJ76

wht up?

seventwenty

My bet is that isn't the texting problem that's preventing you from finding "a man."

matt2442

Has this ever happened to you?

Jacwhite22

If I've got your number 8/10 times I'm gonna text instead of call....I hate talking on the phone.....and lots of times you can text when you are not able to call. (work, etc)

Alex_is_Hawks

technology changes things....

i mean if you REALLY wanted to go back to the way things were, then he can either ask your parents if it's ok if he takes you out on a date ....or even further back...he can write your dad a letter asking for permission to take you out...

i mean really....times change....

it is what it is.

what about texting cancels out their sincerity and desire to spend time with you? what about a phone call makes it more real or more verifiable for you?

jus curious.

I prefer texting personally but that's me

SweetestLibby

I'd rather a text, guess i'm strange like that. It annoys me when my phone rings, unless it's someone I agreed to talk to.

Agreed, I hate talking on the phone and theres always an awkward silence lol

same. The boy and I have RARELY ever talked on the phone. We text frequently. In person however we RARELY ever shut up.

iulia_maddie

Waiting for the "Call me maybe" jokes. C'mon people!

Cliffslosinit

If I've got your number 8/10 times I'm gonna text instead of call....I hate talking on the phone.....and lots of times you can text when you are not able to call. (work, etc)

NOT TRUE!! He never txt or calls!

oregonzoo

I prefer texts.


I HATE talking on the phone.

Jacwhite22

Waiting for the "Call me maybe" jokes. C'mon people!

I just met you.....and this is crazy

Jacwhite22

If I've got your number 8/10 times I'm gonna text instead of call....I hate talking on the phone.....and lots of times you can text when you are not able to call. (work, etc)

NOT TRUE!! He never txt or calls!

I don't have your number.....Don't act like it's my fault.

AllTehBeers

Get a house phone?

TylerJ76

Get a house phone?

What are we, in the 70's??

Barbellerella

I actually get ticked when people call me that aren't in my immediate family.

skinnyinnotime

. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess?

Just like everything else, things change!!

Hmm, how far does this 'old fashioned/traditional' role go...are you going to give up your career to stay at home, cook, clean for your man, have his dinner ready when he gets home?

I hear alot of women wanting to be wooed and courted in the 'old fashioned' way but then get all modern and feminist when it comes to the other traditional roles.

Wake up, we're not little women that need to be kept and protected, we have fought for equality on so many levels...but you want to go back there? Not me, no thanks!!

TylerJ76

I actually get ticked when people call me that aren't in my immediate family.

Is that why you don't answer?
I'll stop.

_Elemenopee_

Fine...I WILL call you old fashioned!

AllTehBeers

Get a house phone?

What are we, in the 70's??

She's complaining about texting. House phone = problem solved.

ash8184

I know, it seems guys don't want to go on a date unless they are really expecting to get some. That's just ridiculous.

TRUE!

Fittykitty11

I sometimes have major social anxiety with talking on the phone. I have a very select group of people whom I am okay with talking to on the phone... and no it's not 'technology' that did it... I was that way when I was little and using a house phone too.

So surely I am not the only one who is like that.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

I actually said this the other day, too. Texting is no biggy, but once in a while, its nice to know there is a real live human being on the other end, and a voice would be nice, too once in a while.

ldrosophila

I agree with you it's the reason I'm in a relationship when honestly...

Anyways, its the norm now there is no such thing as courtship. You are pretty much only a piece of azz. Dont expect much from em' you'll just be disappointed.

BeachIron

Court? Who says that anymore?

Seriously?

I'm 40 and the last time I heard that term used that way, it was by my grandparents.

The world changed in the last 50 or so years. Catch up.

milf_n_cookies

Oh and I prefer sexting to actual texting, I like every text to contain something dirty, even if it's from strangers.

dewgirl321

I'm afraid the only COURT involved in dating these days is the kind where your date needs bail.

WanderingLass

MyHoney and I actually met on a knitting forum, and while we now text quite frequently, when he first gave me his number, it was all phone calls. We would talk for 4 hours at a time (yay time difference between California and South Dakota). I enjoyed being courted by him and I don't think it has anything to do with not being a modern woman - it's just plain nice to have someone speak nicely to you and say poetic things to you. Yes, he opens the doors for me most of the time. But really? We both work full time. We split the bills. It's nothing to do with being "modern."

The guys I met before him that were all about the instant messaging/texting? Were also all about their instant gratification. It sucks.

But it is also today's world. Technology is there. If you don't want them texting you, then tell them that up front. Let them know the expectations you have.

And best of luck!