Texting is NOT ENOUGH, Pick Up the Damned Phone!!

Springfield_Rocks

I'm old fashioned too and I felt the same way as you when I was dating but I stood my ground and didn't go out with the men that couldn't call me for a date and then I met my husband. He always called to ask me out and was a perfect gentleman on our dates. The only reason men behave that way is because women haven't let them know it's not okay to behave that way.

oh! once a man asked me if I wanted to "hang out" sometime. My response was "sure I'd like to go on a date with you". he replied "well, I don't really like labels". Needless to say I didn't go out with him... even after he said we could call it a date.

this. just set up the boundries for yourself. different things work for different people.

milf_n_cookies

No, I will not.

what if I ask nice?

Depends if you're on knees whilst you ask...

Of course, it's the only way to ask for things, isn't it?

sugarandspice27

I think it's better to get the sex out of the way. Then you can focus on the relationship rather than applying mathmatical formula to when is the appropriate time to have sex with them.

This is what I (used to) do and apparently, that makes me slutty.

I always thought the purpose of a date was to see whether enough chemistry existed between two people for sex to be possible in the future. I mean, if you dig down underneath it all and ignore the hope for a broader emotional connection, that's a major element.. I'd venture to say *the* major element. So what's the idea behind a hookup, "meet someone, find them generally agreeable, find a quiet place to screw, then figure out if you want to see them again"? This feel like a really subversive misogynistic agenda that women are actually BUYING INTO, especially considering the fact that once you have sex with a person, you start CHEMICALLY BONDING to them by way of oxytocin, and woman in much, much greater amounts than men.

I'm just exploring the meaning of social rituals. I'm NOT against technology. I'm NOT against sex. I happen to love both in the proper context.

aeg176

I like to text more than I like to talk on the phone. However, I also think that a phone conversation is necessary if it is someone I'm going to meet especially if I do not know them well. I also like to be taken out on dates and it does seem like that is becoming more obsolete. I'm sure there are still good ones out there but if they were easy to find then it wouldn't be worth the search in the first place. Good luck out there its a jungle :bigsmile:

iAMsmiling

I think it's better to get the sex out of the way. Then you can focus on the relationship rather than applying mathmatical formula to when is the appropriate time to have sex with them.

This is what I (used to) do and apparently, that makes me slutty.

I always thought the purpose of a date was to see whether enough chemistry existed between two people for sex to be possible in the future. I mean, if you dig down underneath it all and ignore the hope for a broader emotional connection, that's a major element.. I'd venture to say *the* major element. So what's the idea behind a hookup, "meet someone, find them generally agreeable, find a quiet place to screw, then figure out if you want to see them again"? This feel like a really subversive misogynistic agenda that women are actually BUYING INTO, especially considering the fact that once you have sex with a person, you start CHEMICALLY BONDING to them by way of oxytocin, and woman in much, much greater amounts than men.

I'm just exploring the meaning of social rituals. I'm NOT against technology. I'm NOT against sex. I happen to love both in the proper context.

Hey missy! Don't go spreading that around! Guys won't get enough cheap, meaningless sex if that catches on.

gonnamakeanewaccount

technology changes things....

i mean if you REALLY wanted to go back to the way things were, then he can either ask your parents if it's ok if he takes you out on a date ....or even further back...he can write your dad a letter asking for permission to take you out...

i mean really....times change....

it is what it is.

what about texting cancels out their sincerity and desire to spend time with you? what about a phone call makes it more real or more verifiable for you?

jus curious.

I prefer texting personally but that's me

This.

petstorekitty

I'm 31, been off the market for many years and now just recently back on and the degraded state of dating is really disappointing, to the point I really don't even want to do it at all. Since when is solely texting an acceptable means of communication? Whatever happened to the good old days when a man actually picked up a phone and asked a girl on a date? Now it just seems like a never ending cycle of texting. And what happened to dating? It seems like men don't ask women on legit dates anymore. And why does the conversation turn to sexual innuendo so quickly? Is this what we've become reduced to as a society? I feel like finding an attractive, responsible, respectful man, interested in getting to know my mind and willing to take me out on a real date is like trying to find a purple unicorn.

I understand that women are expected to do things like call the guy first and ask him out but I really don't like the tone that sets for the relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess? Yeah, I guess I'm jaded with the new man-child I see around me. Are all the good ones snatched up by their 30s?

EDIT: Let me clarify: I LIKE texting! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But if that's the ONLY way we communicate, I have a problem with this. And when I said, Pick up the phone, it could be for 5 minutes, just to say "Hi, how was your day? Want to grab a drink?". I mean, is this absurd?

In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" the author states that if a guy is really interested in you, he will call.

I read that after a few failed dating attempts. It rings very true.

jmc0806

I talk on the phone all day at work. When I'm out of work, I hate answering or calling people. I'd much rather text

sugarandspice27

technology changes things....

i mean if you REALLY wanted to go back to the way things were, then he can either ask your parents if it's ok if he takes you out on a date ....or even further back...he can write your dad a letter asking for permission to take you out...

i mean really....times change....

it is what it is.

what about texting cancels out their sincerity and desire to spend time with you? what about a phone call makes it more real or more verifiable for you?

jus curious.

I prefer texting personally but that's me

This.

Nothing, nothing at all. But if the texts lead nowhere... then it's just a cycle of texting until somebody texts a naked picture? I mean is that the game?

sugarandspice27

I'm 31, been off the market for many years and now just recently back on and the degraded state of dating is really disappointing, to the point I really don't even want to do it at all. Since when is solely texting an acceptable means of communication? Whatever happened to the good old days when a man actually picked up a phone and asked a girl on a date? Now it just seems like a never ending cycle of texting. And what happened to dating? It seems like men don't ask women on legit dates anymore. And why does the conversation turn to sexual innuendo so quickly? Is this what we've become reduced to as a society? I feel like finding an attractive, responsible, respectful man, interested in getting to know my mind and willing to take me out on a real date is like trying to find a purple unicorn.

I understand that women are expected to do things like call the guy first and ask him out but I really don't like the tone that sets for the relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess? Yeah, I guess I'm jaded with the new man-child I see around me. Are all the good ones snatched up by their 30s?

EDIT: Let me clarify: I LIKE texting! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But if that's the ONLY way we communicate, I have a problem with this. And when I said, Pick up the phone, it could be for 5 minutes, just to say "Hi, how was your day? Want to grab a drink?". I mean, is this absurd?

In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" the author states that if a guy is really interested in you, he will call.

I read that after a few failed dating attempts. It rings very true.

I did. Saw the movie and I'm a believer. I believe that is a guy is really into a girl, he will get over whatever issues he has with picking up the phone, anxiety, etc, get his balls together and CALLS HER. So. Then they're not into me would be the next assumed answer. I can handle that... if I were the initiator. Since all the men I meet initiate contact (I'm old fashioned -- I don't make the first move), then I can only assume that they are, in fact, into me.

trojanbb

I talk on the phone all day at work. When I'm out of work, I hate answering or calling people. I'd much rather text

This.

I will not talk on the phone after work unless it's important. Actually important, not chit chat.

In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" the author states that if a guy is really interested in you, he will call.

I read that after a few failed dating attempts. It rings very true.

Wrong. I don't know many guys who will call unless it's their gf or for the sake of expedience (like you are meeting up and need to find each other outside a crowded bar and txting will not suffice).

The author is definitely in the minority on this one.

NikoM5

Complaining about technology is good sign you are getting old, mentally. Remember when we all thought it was rude and obnoxious to walk around in public while talking on a cell phone? Thanks to texting I stay some contact with dozens of people I wouldn't normally call on a regular basis.

i still think it is rude and obnoxious to do it. If it is not a matter of life or death you have no reason to slow my life down by walking and talking shopping and talking working out and talking or do anything else with your cell phone that interferes with me.

Obviously if it interferes with you that's a different story. That would (and does) piss me off as well.

jennyrebekka

Men are from Mars, women want a Penis

NikoM5

Complaining about technology is good sign you are getting old, mentally. Remember when we all thought it was rude and obnoxious to walk around in public while talking on a cell phone? lol

It's amazing how my words are being misinterpreted. I think texting is awesome. I do it, frequently. And that's not the point of my rant, so please reread it.

I read it and that's how it comes off to me. Maybe you need more practice writing? Try trexting more.

Kidding.

diodelcibo

Men are from Mars, women want a Penis

Yes.

ldrosophila

Men are from Mars, women want a Penis

not just anyone though cuz there are too many "dime in a dozen" penises

meghan6867

Simply put : texting has just become engrained in our society. It's what's considered the "norm." That being said, I do feel your frustration... I'm currently dating a guy that is much more comfortable texting than talking.

So I call him. And if the texting really bugs me ... I gently let him know that my preferred means of communication is actually SPEAKING to him. He's really cool with it.

If you do that hopefully the problem will be solved : if it isn't ... maybe he just isn't the right guy. The old-fashioned gentleman you speak of isn't extinct, but he's just harder to find these days.

ErinBeth7

When it comes to the opposite gender, some people can more easily communicate through text. They can say exactly what they want to say without the anxiety of speaking on the phone. A text comes through clear, not fumbling around with words, stuttering...uhhhh...like.....and no awkward silences. For some, it is more comfortable and they can more easily ask someone out on a date. That could pose an opportunity for those people who might miss out on someone they really are interested in, but otherwise was too shy or afraid to call or ask in person. Just another point of view.

On the other hand, it makes it a lot easier for others to end relationships. I hate when they do it over text and even on the phone. If you're gonna end a relationship, thats wayyyy more personal and needs to be done in person.

sugarandspice27

Simply put : texting has just become engrained in our society. It's what's considered the "norm." That being said, I do feel your frustration... I'm currently dating a guy that is much more comfortable texting than talking.

So I call him. And if the texting really bugs me ... I gently let him know that my preferred means of communication is actually SPEAKING to him. He's really cool with it.

If you do that hopefully the problem will be solved : if it isn't ... maybe he just isn't the right guy. The old-fashioned gentleman you speak of isn't extinct, but he's just harder to find these days.

Maybe there's an old-fashioned guy out there feeling frustrated looking for me.

trojanbb

Simply put : texting has just become engrained in our society. It's what's considered the "norm." That being said, I do feel your frustration... I'm currently dating a guy that is much more comfortable texting than talking.

So I call him. And if the texting really bugs me ... I gently let him know that my preferred means of communication is actually SPEAKING to him. He's really cool with it.

If you do that hopefully the problem will be solved : if it isn't ... maybe he just isn't the right guy. The old-fashioned gentleman you speak of isn't extinct, but he's just harder to find these days.

So phone calls are old-fashioned and well-mannered and chivalrous (yes you didn't say that, but this thread implies it)..but texts are not? I'd be interesting in hearing the logic on this one. Rhetorical question, there is clearly no logic behind it. Riding your horse down a cobblestone street and asking the girl out in person in front of her father is old-fashioned. Phone calls are not old fashioned. And they are certainly no more 'old fashioned' and well mannered than texts.