can i confide in you guys?
Replies
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i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
i'm just baffled.
He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.
More wine?
yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?
Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.
Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.
Love (or what a person thinks is love) can drive a person to do stupid things. I once knew a guy who killed a man over a woman he was seeing. There are plenty of people who have left SO's because they've fallen in love with someone else.
I'm not saying that the guy isn't a scummy *kitten*...I couldn't even tell you. I'm saying that NONE OF US know how he really is except him.
Uuuummmm, that's NOT love.
I take it you didn't read my post? "(Or what a person thinks is love)". I am aware that those are two very different things.
I did see that part and I was glad to see that part. Just wanted to be extra clear, that's all.0 -
If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.0
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Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.
I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.
Wait, is this from some kind of actual playbook?
Sort of. More like recycled behaviors and patterns that I pick up on.0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
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thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.
i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.
if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.
My opinion, and take it for what it is worth (a lot, it is coming from me), is that he is at best a little obsessed and at worst just casting lines in the hopes you will give in.0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!0 -
Try and read through the thread again and decide on this when you're not tipsy, perhaps? Alcohol changes your blood -> blood is what brings oxygen to your brain -> judgment is impaired. It's not really even that much of a theory than a mechanism of biology. and as it seems a lot of your conversations with the guy happened under this physiological condition, maybe you need more time to reevaluate. Sobriety and the number of people that seem to you to be good potential boyfriends are inversely related.
As for the guy, I can kind of relate. I was begged for weeks by Sir-Cling-a-Lot to give him a chance, and I did. Persistence can be obsessive, but contrary to popular belief, it's not that bad unless coupled with other things. Sir-Cling-a-Lot, although obsessive, is sweet and respectful. Yet in your case, Other Things, such as the warning signs of past cheating and pushiness, seem to be present. If this even slightly bothers you now now chances are it will bother you 100x more in the future.
I know it doesn't feel like that but sometimes you need an objective opinion as your thoughts are clouded by infatuation (or aforesaid alcohol.) Here's my opinion: he is trouble. He will not be fun. But it truly is your choice, just my two cents!0 -
what would I do?
never speak to him again, that's what I'd do.0 -
thanks pal
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
:blushing:0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?0 -
thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.
i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.
if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.
This is so good to hear! Gut logic is bang on. ALWAYS listen
(Wish I'd learned that earlier, myself.)0 -
what would I do?
never speak to him again, that's what I'd do.
This is why you are awesome.0 -
Can you say that with 100% certainty.
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?0 -
Can you say that with 100% certainty.
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.
And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:0 -
Can you say that with 100% certainty.
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?
Dr. Zoidberg? Can you link to any of his studies? Relationship therapist?
Are you asking because you have casual sex and are trying to validate yourself or as an academic question?0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.
And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:
Two years? Holy hell!0 -
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.
And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:
Two years? Holy hell!0 -
He's patient
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.
And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:
Two years? Holy hell!
And I know myself enough to wait until I fully decide otherwise. 0 -
Because I want to date someone that is a known cheater.0
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I say you need a ONS to find out your true feelings
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yeah but i'm not convinced that's what he was doing. i'm assuming he knew his relationship status better than his friend.don't take this thread too seriously, k ? it's saturday and i'm a little tipsy. don't judge.
i kissed a boy at a party that i was attracted to. found out he had a girlfriend(he denied having a girlfriend to me)
i was pretty upset and felt a little used.
now he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago (or longer)
anyway, he's been texting me for 2 months now begging me to date him. telling me that he's my "future husband" (like seriously, he's texting me every day since the kiss. or every second day. a LOT more than i'm used to from any other boy i've talked to)
and i've been polite, telling him i have school and work. and how i can't hangout much.
and now sometimes he gets frustrated and calls me a "hater" (wtf?)
seriously though.
girls? what would you do?
guys? wtf?
i don't know why i read a subtext of possible true love here. sorry guys. but is it ever possible that some people don't get out of a relationship soon enough and just kind of coast towards the end and then meet someone really great. and then get the nerve to leave. or a lightbulb goes on?
that said, I think HOW you "found out" is crucial. if it was word of mouth that could have been hearsay from someone less informed of his break up status than him. if it was his FB page that could depend on how often he logs in, simple scrollign thru his page should tell you if he had a chance to change it during the time you met.
The "hater" part I'm still not so crazy about. And the keeping trying for So long. Unless of course you have reciprocated any attention which then yeah, you guys are actually communicating back and forth and he cannot be blamed for still trying.
BTW, please PM me your kissing technique because I want guys to be all sprung on me with just a first kiss instead of having to fully put out to get them like that.
Sounds like you've been dating the wrong guys.
But yeah, I can see where you're coming from with this--I can agree with it too. Granted, it's still not really an excuse to play tonsil hockey behind your SO's back. That's still kinda poopy.0 -
thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.
i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.
if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.
forget everything else i've said. Bail.0 -
Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.
I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.
Wait, is this from some kind of actual playbook?
Sort of. More like recycled behaviors and patterns that I pick up on.
It's reminiscent of that nasty PUA or whatever stuff that was controversial a while ago. (btw I would be very surprised if any of that has worked often enough to justify its apparently large audience of 'nice guys'. The guys who are good at that kind of thing are natural, spontaneous predators.)0 -
He's patient
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.
And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:
Two years? Holy hell! And I know myself enough to wait until I fully decide otherwise.
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mehhhhh toss him....plenty more fish in the sea to waste your time on....or not....but one day he loves you and the next he hates on you? nope!!0
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I would give him a chance to explain himself with the true. Bo matter how bad it is. Abd then at the end of the night I would make a desicion0
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If some guy kept texting me he was my future husband, I would be running far, far away from him. To me that's crazy talk, maybe a little stalkerish.0
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If he is so immature that he is hoping from one girl to the next and feeding you lines like "future husband" without getting to know you in a relationship for a substantial amount of time. Well, he isn't ready for a real relationship. More than likely he will be a easy come easy go kind of guy. Move on from him. He is not worth your time.0
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Can you say that with 100% certainty.
i'm not the casual sex kinda galIf you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?
Dr. Zoidberg? Can you link to any of his studies? Relationship therapist?
Are you asking because you have casual sex and are trying to validate yourself or as an academic question?
Purely academic.0
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