can i confide in you guys?

24

Replies

  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    Every guy you will ever meet. Some will try for 4 years.
    that's actually kinda depressing!
  • don't take this thread too seriously, k ? it's saturday and i'm a little tipsy. don't judge.
    i kissed a boy at a party that i was attracted to. found out he had a girlfriend(he denied having a girlfriend to me)
    i was pretty upset and felt a little used.
    now he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago (or longer)


    anyway, he's been texting me for 2 months now begging me to date him. telling me that he's my "future husband" (like seriously, he's texting me every day since the kiss. or every second day. a LOT more than i'm used to from any other boy i've talked to)
    and i've been polite, telling him i have school and work. and how i can't hangout much.
    and now sometimes he gets frustrated and calls me a "hater" (wtf?)

    seriously though.
    girls? what would you do?
    guys? wtf?

    i don't know why i read a subtext of possible true love here. sorry guys. but is it ever possible that some people don't get out of a relationship soon enough and just kind of coast towards the end and then meet someone really great. and then get the nerve to leave. or a lightbulb goes on?

    that said, I think HOW you "found out" is crucial. if it was word of mouth that could have been hearsay from someone less informed of his break up status than him. if it was his FB page that could depend on how often he logs in, simple scrollign thru his page should tell you if he had a chance to change it during the time you met.

    The "hater" part I'm still not so crazy about. And the keeping trying for So long. Unless of course you have reciprocated any attention which then yeah, you guys are actually communicating back and forth and he cannot be blamed for still trying.

    BTW, please PM me your kissing technique because I want guys to be all sprung on me with just a first kiss instead of having to fully put out to get them like that.

    Sounds like you've been dating the wrong guys. ;)

    But yeah, I can see where you're coming from with this--I can agree with it too. Granted, it's still not really an excuse to play tonsil hockey behind your SO's back. That's still kinda poopy.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    Every guy you will ever meet. Some will try for 4 years.
    that's actually kinda depressing!

    You can meet a great guy, while the ones you don't want are still trying.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?
    bullet_dodge_3.jpg
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?
    bullet_dodge_3.jpg
    :laugh: i'm dying
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?
    yes please.

    I have plenty, just say when.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Sounds right to me.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.
  • i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?
    yes please.

    I have plenty, just say when.
    <===has none, is waiting for a bottle of nobilo to chill.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?
    yes please.

    I have plenty, just say when.
    <===has none, is waiting for a bottle of nobilo to chill.
    i'm not sure what nobilo is, but i'll drink it
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.

    that's what i'm sayin'. or a lovesick hottie.
  • ScatteredThoughts
    ScatteredThoughts Posts: 3,562 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.

    No one can say that with 100% certainty, but given that he already lied about a prior girlfriend, I don't think it is an unreasonable assumption.

    Either way, I would say avoid him.
  • slrose
    slrose Posts: 164 Member
    don't take this thread too seriously, k ? it's saturday and i'm a little tipsy. don't judge.
    i kissed a boy at a party that i was attracted to. found out he had a girlfriend(he denied having a girlfriend to me)
    i was pretty upset and felt a little used.
    now he broke up with his girlfriend a month ago (or longer)


    anyway, he's been texting me for 2 months now begging me to date him. telling me that he's my "future husband" (like seriously, he's texting me every day since the kiss. or every second day. a LOT more than i'm used to from any other boy i've talked to)
    and i've been polite, telling him i have school and work. and how i can't hangout much.
    and now sometimes he gets frustrated and calls me a "hater" (wtf?)

    seriously though.
    girls? what would you do?
    guys? wtf?


    completely and totally ignore him
    if he cheated on her, he will cheat on you too
    and he lied

    thats not husband material, or even boyfriend material
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.

    No, they don't.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.

    My thoughts, exactly.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.


    Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.

    I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.

    that's what i'm sayin'. or a lovesick hottie.

    Then by all means, I will defer to you.
  • i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.

    Love (or what a person thinks is love) can drive a person to do stupid things. I once knew a guy who killed a man over a woman he was seeing. There are plenty of people who have left SO's because they've fallen in love with someone else.

    I'm not saying that the guy isn't a scummy *kitten*...I couldn't even tell you. I'm saying that NONE OF US know how he really is except him.
  • Sharkington
    Sharkington Posts: 485
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.

    No, they don't.

    Agreed. They only ruin it for the good ones if you let them - and it's only ruined for you. :c

    To address the OP, though, a red flag would have popped up as soon as I found out he had a girlfriend when he kissed me and then lied about it. i mean, yeah, it doesn't make him a horrible person, but if you're looking for a mature, trustworthy relationship, then maybe this isn't the guy for you.
  • i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.

    No, they don't.

    Agreed. They only ruin it for the good ones if you let them - and it's only ruined for you. :c

    To address the OP, though, a red flag would have popped up as soon as I found out he had a girlfriend when he kissed me and then lied about it. i mean, yeah, it doesn't make him a horrible person, but if you're looking for a mature, trustworthy relationship, then maybe this isn't the guy for you.

    This. Exactly this! So true.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Tell him you're not interested. No lame excuses about being "too busy." That just gives him false hope.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.
    i appreciate honesty like this. but this honesty is also the reason i'm terrified of trusting anyone.
    douche bags ruining it for good guys in the end.

    I think he's probably into you, but, still a deuce bag (have a strike, being careful). Because he's been acting completely without regard for anyone else's boundaries. Plus some of his lines are super cheesy.

    Maybe you've had a bad relationship, I understand feeling cagey. But I think here you showed a healthy respect for yourself/your boundaries. There are definitely good/hot guys out there, who are emotionally responsible grownups. And then some with potential who won't ripen into that until they hit their late 20s/early 30s.

    But this guy, I don't know, not emotionally continent.
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.

    I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.

    Wait, is this from some kind of actual playbook?
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.

    Love (or what a person thinks is love) can drive a person to do stupid things. I once knew a guy who killed a man over a woman he was seeing. There are plenty of people who have left SO's because they've fallen in love with someone else.

    I'm not saying that the guy isn't a scummy *kitten*...I couldn't even tell you. I'm saying that NONE OF US know how he really is except him.

    Uuuummmm, that's NOT love.
  • i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.

    Love (or what a person thinks is love) can drive a person to do stupid things. I once knew a guy who killed a man over a woman he was seeing. There are plenty of people who have left SO's because they've fallen in love with someone else.

    I'm not saying that the guy isn't a scummy *kitten*...I couldn't even tell you. I'm saying that NONE OF US know how he really is except him.

    Uuuummmm, that's NOT love.

    I take it you didn't read my post? "(Or what a person thinks is love)". I am aware that those are two very different things.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
    i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.

    i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
    anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.


    if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.