can i confide in you guys?

Options
124

Replies

  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
    Options
    i understand he wants sexy time. but what guy tries this hard for 2 months?
    i'm just baffled.

    He figures he can wear you down with "sweet words" and persistence.

    More wine?

    yeah but it's been two full months wouldn't he have gotten laid elsewhere by now, and lost interest in the girl denying him so oftern?

    Even if he did get laid elsewhere, it wouldn't necessarily matter. He sees her as a potential lay and the actual texting doesn't take much effort or time, so why wouldn't he continue just in case her resolve crumbles? He probably is doing the same thing with other girls at the same time. Casting multiple lines out to increase his chance of a strike.

    Be honest. Can you REALLY make that assumption? The guy could just as easily be a lovesick moron.


    Lovesick morons typically aren't the type to go kissing other girls while they have girlfriends.

    Love (or what a person thinks is love) can drive a person to do stupid things. I once knew a guy who killed a man over a woman he was seeing. There are plenty of people who have left SO's because they've fallen in love with someone else.

    I'm not saying that the guy isn't a scummy *kitten*...I couldn't even tell you. I'm saying that NONE OF US know how he really is except him.

    Uuuummmm, that's NOT love.

    I take it you didn't read my post? "(Or what a person thinks is love)". I am aware that those are two very different things.

    I did see that part and I was glad to see that part. Just wanted to be extra clear, that's all.
  • bonjour24
    bonjour24 Posts: 1,119 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    Well, then you need to learn how to discern a good guy from a *kitten*.

    I will start off your education: Good guys dont tell a girl who barely shows interest that they are her future husband. That is a ploy to lower her defenses by making her think that he is thinking of her in long term ways.

    Wait, is this from some kind of actual playbook?

    Sort of. More like recycled behaviors and patterns that I pick up on.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
    i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.

    i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
    anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.


    if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.

    My opinion, and take it for what it is worth (a lot, it is coming from me), is that he is at best a little obsessed and at worst just casting lines in the hopes you will give in.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    Options
    Try and read through the thread again and decide on this when you're not tipsy, perhaps? Alcohol changes your blood -> blood is what brings oxygen to your brain -> judgment is impaired. It's not really even that much of a theory than a mechanism of biology. and as it seems a lot of your conversations with the guy happened under this physiological condition, maybe you need more time to reevaluate. Sobriety and the number of people that seem to you to be good potential boyfriends are inversely related.

    As for the guy, I can kind of relate. I was begged for weeks by Sir-Cling-a-Lot to give him a chance, and I did. Persistence can be obsessive, but contrary to popular belief, it's not that bad unless coupled with other things. Sir-Cling-a-Lot, although obsessive, is sweet and respectful. Yet in your case, Other Things, such as the warning signs of past cheating and pushiness, seem to be present. If this even slightly bothers you now now chances are it will bother you 100x more in the future.

    I know it doesn't feel like that but sometimes you need an objective opinion as your thoughts are clouded by infatuation (or aforesaid alcohol.) Here's my opinion: he is trouble. He will not be fun. But it truly is your choice, just my two cents!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Options
    what would I do?

    never speak to him again, that's what I'd do.
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!
    thanks pal
    :blushing:
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
  • upgetupgetup
    upgetupgetup Posts: 749 Member
    Options
    thanks everyone. i seriously have read everyone of your posts.
    i just kind of trust my intuition. i feel like something isn't right... obviously.

    i just honestly wanted opinions. i've never experienced anything like this before. after awhile it started freaking me out.
    anyway, it's flattering in a sense, but seriously... i'm still baffled by his efforts.


    if this was a movie or something, i'm sure it would seem sweet and genuine. but in real life... it's different.

    This is so good to hear! Gut logic is bang on. ALWAYS listen :)

    (Wish I'd learned that earlier, myself.)
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    what would I do?

    never speak to him again, that's what I'd do.


    This is why you are awesome.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
    Can you say that with 100% certainty.
  • happyhiram
    happyhiram Posts: 89
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
    Can you say that with 100% certainty.

    Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/

    I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.

    And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/


    Awww, you are NOT hopeless then!

    Just because someone is into casual sex doesn't make them hopeless, though?
    Can you say that with 100% certainty.

    Your question is bad and you should feel bad! (Dr. Zoidberg reference!) Of course I can. Just what about enjoying casual sex makes a person hopeless?

    Dr. Zoidberg? Can you link to any of his studies? Relationship therapist?

    Are you asking because you have casual sex and are trying to validate yourself or as an academic question?
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/

    I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.

    And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:

    Two years? Holy hell!
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/

    Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
    I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.

    And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:

    Two years? Holy hell!
  • EngineerPrincess
    EngineerPrincess Posts: 306 Member
    Options
    If you're not interested then delete all numbers. If you are (which you must be kind of or it wouldn't be a debate) then I say have sex, then decide if you want to date.
    i'm not the casual sex kinda gal :/

    Wow, thought I did well making him wait three months... 31 years back. He must really be in love. Nice!
    I'm not either! Been dating the guy for two years actually and we have yet to do anything. x) If you don't have 100% good vibes about a guy, and the fact you even asked about it or questioned it means maybe you don't, then maybe think twice about talking to him. If your personality is similar to mine then you probably want to look for sweet guys that aren't as pushy as this one. It's about what YOU are personally comfortable with. And only you can judge that.

    And are you all seriously hang a conversation of whether causal sex is good or bad? Just stop. :noway:

    Two years? Holy hell!
    He's patient :tongue: And I know myself enough to wait until I fully decide otherwise.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    Options
    Because I want to date someone that is a known cheater.

Categories