Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

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  • iulia_maddie
    iulia_maddie Posts: 2,780 Member
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    I would try to lose the weight for my health.
    Then I would strut my stuff in short shorts in front of him while holding some other guy's hand. Shallow, sure. But so is he.
  • emiliewright
    emiliewright Posts: 148 Member
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    My brother just broke up with a beautiful, amazing woman for this same reason. Personally, I think my brother is a shallow, sad man. But he is my brother so I love and support him. However, he knows EXACTLY where I stand.

    Sorry to be blunt but if you are planning on marrying this guy-dont.

    Find someone who loves you for you, not your body.

    Nuff said.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
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    You deserve better - kick him to the curb, the things he's saying are abuse and he's not worth it.
  • bradthemedic
    bradthemedic Posts: 623 Member
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    I understand his point of view if he were starting the relationship. I am not attracted to larger women either.

    That said its obvious he was swayed by his family and decided to take the harsh, brutal route. This guy doesn't deserve you. You don't need to change for anyone but yourself. Someone who dumps a girl like that isn't a man at all.
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
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    WOW after 2.5 yrs, just wow I have no words. As you say its not like you drastically changed.
    He obviously has issues,
    Lose the weight for you an no one else!
  • StevenGillit
    StevenGillit Posts: 1 Member
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    Hi Jess,

    Not truly knowing the gentleman, I dont want to judge to harshly.

    Here is how I feel.

    I have no room in my life for anyone who is going to base their feelings for me on how I look instead of who I am.

    If people cant see your beauty, through any weight issues, then they may be blinded to other gifts you have to offer too.

    Loose weight for YOUR reasons and no one elses.

    To the right person, you are perfect just the way you are, no matter what anyone else may think.
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
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    marry him
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
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    Run.

    Run far away.

    That is NOT love.

    Run.

    This. And I've been there. My ex was always trying to make me lose weight....and he was a big boy! Like WTF? He needed that diet just as badly. I started working out right before I dumped HIM.

    Guess what? I started at 266 lbs., and I'm down to 227 lbs. Even better, I lost 270 lbs. worth of @$$hole.

    I feel skinny already. :drinker:
  • ShellNeff
    ShellNeff Posts: 7 Member
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    Girl, he is not worth your time, your energy and most importantly your love. You don’t have to *DO* anything for someone to love you. The right person will cross a desert just for the chance to sit next to you at lunch.

    As much as it hurts, it's time to let him go & for you to find someone who truly cares for you. Best of luck, Sweetie!
  • dansls1
    dansls1 Posts: 309 Member
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    Dump him - it'll be something else if you stay with him.
  • MissKitty9
    MissKitty9 Posts: 224 Member
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    He sounds like a douche. No one should make you feel bad about your weight, ever, especially not the person who's supposed to love you. It's one thing to encourage healthy habits, but he should NOT be comparing you to other women, or calling you "fat" or being ashamed of you while you guys are out. Find someone who appreciates you.
  • cleback
    cleback Posts: 261 Member
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    I'm sorry. That situation really sucks. I wouldn't stay with him though. You say everything is great until his family starts talking about your weight? What if they start talking about your parenting choices? Or how much you go out? Ho you dress? Where you work? Just leaves me uneasy. He doesn't sound like the stable partner you need if he lets everyone else's opinion affect his relationship.

    You need someone who will want to be with you through thick and thin (Pun intended). That's not to say they can't support you in this journey, but yeah... It's not good what he's doing.
  • toxikon
    toxikon Posts: 2,384 Member
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    He sounds like a jerk. You're better off without him.

    Does he expect you to become skinny and stay skinny for the rest of your life, just so he won't be embarrassed to be seen in public with you? That's ridiculous. What happens if you marry him and get pregnant? What if he doesn't agree with your pregnancy weight and leaves you then?

    Honestly, I'd leave him immediately. It sounds like you'd have a scary future with him.
  • gregpack
    gregpack Posts: 426 Member
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    If his family has that much influence your relationship you'll likely never be truly happy. Time to move on.
  • ZyheeMoongazer
    ZyheeMoongazer Posts: 343 Member
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    Forget him. You deserve better. You are more than a trophy on a guys arm. Also sounds like his family is a bunch of pricks as well.
  • bluecrayonz
    bluecrayonz Posts: 459 Member
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    He seems like a good guy but the people around us do get to us, especially family. I think u need to have a long talk with him and explain that u do want to lose weight and it is something youre struggling with but at the same time u want to lose weight for yourself and not feel pressured to do so by him or his family and that it hurts u that suddenly ur relationship is dependant on your weight. Give him a chance to explain himself and if u see that he's completely adopted his family's attitude then its time to let go....
  • jessmart83
    jessmart83 Posts: 283 Member
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    I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

    Or at least, thats what I would do :)

    I have to agree with this, because this is what I would do! That being said, if you want to lose the weight, you need to do it for you, not for anyone else!
  • babydiego87
    babydiego87 Posts: 905 Member
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    Tell him to **** off
  • Ashkea76
    Ashkea76 Posts: 7,151 Member
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    Run away from him. If he cannot love you for YOU, in all your glory, then find someone who does. Your health is important, but a relationship shouldn't be based on a dress size or number on the scale. If his family pressured him into not being with you, TRUST me on this one, you will NEVER be good enough for him in their eyes, and they will always be involved in your relationship. RUN while you can. Lose the weight for you, and move on. You are gorgeous as you are and deserve better than that.
  • DeeBrownBaker
    DeeBrownBaker Posts: 145
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    ouch!! what a hurtful thing to do or say! especially AFTER being in relationship for so long...and his family helped him realize he couldn't possibly love a large and lovely lady such as yourself? how stupid of him and how stupid of them!

    I say lose for you... and move on... yes you have feelings for this guy... but in my experience, feelings fade/die... and you will be able to be your BEST self WITHOUT him...

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