What do YOU think?

DalekBrittany

One of my friends posted this picture on Facebook the other day:



What do you think? Do you think it's true? Do you agree or disagree with spanking as a form of punishment?

This is meant to be a thread to say your opinion. Disagree or agree with each other, but either way please keep it civil. We're all adults, no reason we can't act like it!

Jen9239

TOTALLY agree!!!! My son got in trouble and wanted to be grounded instead of spanking...haha as if he gets to pick his punishment!!!

Cadori

I think there need to be more parents who are parents instead of friends and set consistent boundaries. This does involve appropriate discipline. I personally think there are better alternatives that can teach a child in a more effective way. I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old. The younger one wouldn't understand and with the 5 year old one of the things he gets disciplined for is hitting his sister so to me it makes to sense to reinforce our no hitting policy by hitting.

DalekBrittany

I used to look at my parents when I got spanked and go, totally straight faced, "That didn't hurt." And then I'd get sent to my room for being a smart *kitten*. :laugh:

I do think that there is a time for spanking and a time for other punishment. I am not a parent, but I think that when it's dangerous, kids should learn their own mistakes. For instance, when my sister was little she went through a phase where she would pick up any cup she could get her little hands on and drink it. My parents told her multiple times not to drink other peoples' things without asking, but she kept going. So they filled up a cup with some very yucky things (I think it was something like a mix of prune and orange juice :sick: ) and stuck it where she'd get it. Guess what? She stopped picking up cups after that! lol

Cadori

I used to look at my parents when I got spanked and go, totally straight faced, "That didn't hurt." And then I'd get sent to my room for being a smart *kitten*. :laugh:

I do think that there is a time for spanking and a time for other punishment. I am not a parent, but I think that when it's dangerous, kids should learn their own mistakes. For instance, when my sister was little she went through a phase where she would pick up any cup she could get her little hands on and drink it. My parents told her multiple times not to drink other peoples' things without asking, but she kept going. So they filled up a cup with some very yucky things (I think it was something like a mix of prune and orange juice :sick: ) and stuck it where she'd get it. Guess what? She stopped picking up cups after that! lol

My parents did the same to my sister. They used vinegar. That was the last time she drank something that wasn't hers. :laugh: I think more creative punishment that fits the "crime" like this example teaches a better lesson. And I was the "That didn't hurt" kid too. But when they stuck me in the corner??? HELL!!!

DalekBrittany

I know someone now that makes their 16 year old and 5 year old kneel in a corner on uncooked rice for ten minutes. That's just mean.

odusgolp

Thankfully, my child is perfect, so I don't have to discipline.

DalekBrittany

Thankfully, my child is perfect, so I don't have to discipline.

Yeah my parents only had to spank me once ever, 'cause I was perfect! :flowerforyou: haha

Contrarian

My mother only spanked me when she lost control. It didn't stop me from becoming a rebellious teenager, either. I think the more important thing is being consistent and if you do punish your child, don't give in. A two week grounding needs to last for two weeks.

shygur

I think there needs to be more discipline but it may or may not be in the form of spanking. It depends on the child and whether or not they respond to that form of discipline. My daughter did not respond to that form so I had to get more creative. Managed to raise a wonderful, independent, and well adjusted adult. However, it was very difficult. Worth it but difficult.

richied26

I think child abuse makes adolescent delinquency more likely not less

DalekBrittany

I think child abuse makes adolescent delinquency more likely not less

We are talking about spanking, not child abuse. There is a difference there.

diodelcibo

No.

Changing one thing is not going change all that.

DalekBrittany

My mother only spanked me when she lost control. It didn't stop me from becoming a rebellious teenager, either. I think the more important thing is being consistent and if you do punish your child, don't give in. A two week grounding needs to last for two weeks.

My mom usually totally just forgot we were even grounded after a week. When my fiance's cousin tells me he's grounded (he's 13) I'm like then how are you calling me on your cell phone? And how are you watching TV? And why are you even over here? Grounding nowadays does NOT mean what it did when I was a kid!

richied26

What distinguishes spanking from other forms of violence? Isnt all violence abusive?

SmartWhatever

How long til THIS gets locked??

jmcheatham

I think kids learn most from good modeled behavior from the parents and is the biggest influence on their life outcomes. Sure there are times for discipline and corrective actions needed by the parents, but the punishment should be based on the actual wrong doing by the child, and not done out of anger by the parent.

In terms of punishments, the most important things are consistency, boundaries and fairness. Don't make outrageous consequences that you know isn't possible or practical to follow through with. And once the punishment has been decided on, you have to follow through with it. Otherwise they will learn that your statements on meaningless.

Cadori

I think there need to be more parents who are parents instead of friends and set consistent boundaries. This does involve appropriate discipline. I personally think there are better alternatives that can teach a child in a more effective way. I have a 1 year old and a 5 year old. The younger one wouldn't understand and with the 5 year old one of the things he gets disciplined for is hitting his sister so to me it makes to sense to reinforce our no hitting policy by hitting.

Ahhh...I can't edit this. I meant to type to me it makes NO sense to reinforce a no hitting policy by hitting.

Lazygal53

I think child abuse makes adolescent delinquency more likely not less

We are talking about spanking, not child abuse. There is a difference there.

Spanking IS a form of child abuse in my opinion.

richied26

I think child abuse makes adolescent delinquency more likely not less

We are talking about spanking, not child abuse. There is a difference there.

Spanking IS a form of child abuse in my opinion.

richied26

exactly!

DalekBrittany

Well, I happen to disagree, but please, do share that because I'd love to hear why you feel that way. And whoever said in before it gets locked...everyone is being quite pleasant. There is no reason this thread should be locked.

Missklara

I'm not a parent but i do believe some things are hard to explain when child is very young. I was spanked few times when i was little but it did not affect me in a negative way. Spanking (it's not child abuse in my opinion if you don't hurt the child, just a little spank) may be only way with little child (that just learned to walk) to explain that he cannot do some things. I think it depends on the age. I'm against spanking a ten year old for example.
I remember my dad spanked me when i purposly torned his expensive dictionary

richied26

I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

mrswine

I am a teacher and spend all day with kids where hitting is not an option. It can be done and works more effectively than spanking ( as seen is kids who don't listen to parents who spank them, but do listen to me who doesn't) but it takes a lot of mental energy and self control! Much easier to hit than to be emotionally healthy unfortunately.

DalekBrittany

I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

I can see your point here. But how do you teach say a very young child who can't understand you yet how something is wrong? You can't sit them down and tell them what they've done is wrong. Do you yell at them? Do you put them in time out, where they stand the potential of not even knowing.caring why they are there?

Missklara

I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

I can see your point here. But how do you teach say a very young child who can't understand you yet how something is wrong? You can't sit them down and tell them what they've done is wrong. Do you yell at them? Do you put them in time out, where they stand the potential of not even knowing.caring why they are there?

agree. Ofc maybe we have different definitions of "spanking".
I'm against sticks, leather belts and other 'popular' tools, also i'm against slaping in the face, hitting hard, pulling hair etc.
When i say that i agree with spanking, i mean that i agree with a little spank on the butt when child is very little and can not understand it other way

richied26

I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

I can see your point here. But how do you teach say a very young child who can't understand you yet how something is wrong? You can't sit them down and tell them what they've done is wrong. Do you yell at them? Do you put them in time out, where they stand the potential of not even knowing.caring why they are there?

yes I understand that its difficult to explain things to a very small child but I cant really imagine what a very small child could do that would merit being spanked. I would worry that being disciplined violently without being capable of understanding what youve done wrong would be at best pointless and at worst damaging

manderson27

Children need boundaries and discipline, they need to know that you will carry through with whatever punishment you have chosen. I don't think a smack does any harm, I am talking about a smack on the bottom not a beating, but it should be a last resort.

There are many many ways of enforcing discipline that don't involve smacking. The problem is you have to be able to carry them through. Once a child realises that when you put him on the naughty step for five minutes you will give up after two if he keeps screaming and running off then you have lost.

The most effective punishment for my son when he was small was my saying "I can't be your friend at the moment as you have been naughty" he really hated it when I said that and was truly sorry for whatever it was that he had done.

As he got older I found I could reason with him and explain why what he had done was wrong, I was very lucky he was and still is a very nice kid/man and empathises with other people really well.

DebbieLyn63

I am a teacher and spend all day with kids where hitting is not an option. It can be done and works more effectively than spanking ( as seen is kids who don't listen to parents who spank them, but do listen to me who doesn't) but it takes a lot of mental energy and self control! Much easier to hit than to be emotionally healthy unfortunately.

I agree. Spanking is just lazy parenting. At best, it is ineffective in the long run, at worst, it can leave emotional scars for life. I grew up under the belt of a Baptist preacher, and we were some of the worst kids. The jails are filled with kids who were spanked by their parents and grandparents.
Effective discipline takes time, patience, consistency, and love. It is not hitting your kid when you get mad. I'm not talking about spatting a young child on the hand to prevent them from touching a hot stove. I'm talking about a child that is old enough to understand limits, and right from wrong. Physical punishment may make them be afraid of their parent, but it doesn't teach respect. Kids will just get better at not getting caught. Then once the threat of physical punishment is gone, what is their moral compass?
Angry, violent parents make angry, violent kids. Or kids who accept violence in a spouse.

mrswine

I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

I can see your point here. But how do you teach say a very young child who can't understand you yet how something is wrong? You can't sit them down and tell them what they've done is wrong. Do you yell at them? Do you put them in time out, where they stand the potential of not even knowing.caring why they are there?

I disagree. Very young children do understand right from wrong at a young age. If you continuously tell them in an authoritative manner 1 what they are doing wrong 2 why it is wrong and 3 what they should do instead and then PRAISE THEM for appropriate behavior they learn it. I worked in infant rooms where this works. You just have to know how to effectively teach them. I teach a parenting class at my school and I have seen families that spank completely change their discipline style after just a little training!