What do YOU think?

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  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Teaching your children to deal with their problems through violence is not something I support.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    i love how some wussy schools don't even have teams that lose...both teams are winners...LOLOL...way to bring kids up. Loss and failure is something everyone should deal with to become a stronger person. Sick of cry babies wanting everyon coddled.

    Oh yeah I know this BS lol My son plays basketball he isnt all that great at it and last season he was on a crappy team on top of that they didnt win one game but still got a trophy. This year he got lucky and was on an undefeated team. He improved drastically but I made sure that when he started getting a little too boastful I reminded him it wasnt by his hand. Yes he was involved but the other players pulled a lot of the weight. I dont want my kids ever taking credit for things they shouldnt and I sure as hell dont want all the teams getting a trophy. there is only one first place! there is only one winner. A for effort maybe a ribbon but to the victor goes the spoils. PUSSIFICATION of america. SMH
  • ravenrxx
    ravenrxx Posts: 455 Member
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    Yes. And spend more time with your children, and raise them right.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Well coming from a very abusive childhood. I can say spanking is a form of a parent not being able to stay in control and needing to hit someone is to release that control.. Just like with a dog would you smack it in the face and expect it to remember what it did? NO..its going to learn to fear the hand and the person. My father was a very ignorant man and would hit me as hard as he could and wouldn't stop till I was howling for mercy. I know spanking might have "saved" some peoples kids.. but all it did for me was make me a bitter adult, need counseling and need to learn anger management because I was raised to see hitting as a form of punishment to do to people when I wanted them to do something and if they didn't I acted out in anger.. Yes as an adult I should know better, but its harder to know what a loving family is when you were raised around and through all sorts of abuse.
    Heck my brother in law was raised all christian and was corrected with a rod and has a very loving family and he has WORSE anger issues than I do...so really its not about the hitting/spanking.

    I was spanked when I was little not so much as I got older because my parents took things from me. I am doing the same thing they did and it works fine. I am from a different culture though as well and disrespect to your parents is HIGHLY frowned upon. It just doesnt happen. I think I bucked to my mom 1 time as well just as my daughter did when she was 13. I only did it once as well lol We are very very protective of all our family members especially our parents and grandparents. I dont know maybe it a mexican thang lol we dont F*** around you respect or you get it. I think if more ppl would do that kids these days wouldnt be so disgusting and disrespectful.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    I know someone now that makes their 16 year old and 5 year old kneel in a corner on uncooked rice for ten minutes. That's just mean.

    In the Bahamas, they'll have you kneel in the rockiest sand, with two big rocks in each hand, and have you kneeling there until THEY get tired of watching you.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    Well coming from a very abusive childhood. I can say spanking is a form of a parent not being able to stay in control and needing to hit someone is to release that control.. Just like with a dog would you smack it in the face and expect it to remember what it did? NO..its going to learn to fear the hand and the person. My father was a very ignorant man and would hit me as hard as he could and wouldn't stop till I was howling for mercy. I know spanking might have "saved" some peoples kids.. but all it did for me was make me a bitter adult, need counseling and need to learn anger management because I was raised to see hitting as a form of punishment to do to people when I wanted them to do something and if they didn't I acted out in anger.. Yes as an adult I should know better, but its harder to know what a loving family is when you were raised around and through all sorts of abuse.
    Heck my brother in law was raised all christian and was corrected with a rod and has a very loving family and he has WORSE anger issues than I do...so really its not about the hitting/spanking.

    I was spanked when I was little not so much as I got older because my parents took things from me. I am doing the same thing they did and it works fine. I am from a different culture though as well and disrespect to your parents is HIGHLY frowned upon. It just doesnt happen. I think I bucked to my mom 1 time as well just as my daughter did when she was 13. I only did it once as well lol We are very very protective of all our family members especially our parents and grandparents. I dont know maybe it a mexican thang lol we dont F*** around you respect or you get it. I think if more ppl would do that kids these days wouldnt be so disgusting and disrespectful.

    I totally agree with the whole respect thing, mine wasn't to show respect when I got spanked or really should say got my *kitten* beaten to a pulp lol, I am all for teaching kids to respect and such and yeah my mother never really hit me. Accept when I was learning karate and she pissed me off and I went at her, OH boy did she knock me for one and I was 13 at that time so I deserved that. I have a Mexican father in law and he is all for the Yes Sir and No Ma'm type stuff :), his children still speak it to him and they are like 20 and above. So I wouldn't mind that output with my kids, but with me its going to be WAY hard as I have my fathers temper and I saw were that landed my butt when I did anything wrong. SO I am making sure to learn the right ways to treat anyone. I know to some there probably all YOUR AN ADULT YOU KNOW RIGHT, fair to that but when your young and raised in it for 18 years and then get married at 19 and never really learned about you because you were so scared of getting the tar beat out of you..that's a different story. But I got my punishment that I need and got help and I am much happier and calmer. Still got the sarcastic mouth, but better none the less :)
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Well coming from a very abusive childhood. I can say spanking is a form of a parent not being able to stay in control and needing to hit someone is to release that control.. Just like with a dog would you smack it in the face and expect it to remember what it did? NO..its going to learn to fear the hand and the person. My father was a very ignorant man and would hit me as hard as he could and wouldn't stop till I was howling for mercy. I know spanking might have "saved" some peoples kids.. but all it did for me was make me a bitter adult, need counseling and need to learn anger management because I was raised to see hitting as a form of punishment to do to people when I wanted them to do something and if they didn't I acted out in anger.. Yes as an adult I should know better, but its harder to know what a loving family is when you were raised around and through all sorts of abuse.
    Heck my brother in law was raised all christian and was corrected with a rod and has a very loving family and he has WORSE anger issues than I do...so really its not about the hitting/spanking.

    I was spanked when I was little not so much as I got older because my parents took things from me. I am doing the same thing they did and it works fine. I am from a different culture though as well and disrespect to your parents is HIGHLY frowned upon. It just doesnt happen. I think I bucked to my mom 1 time as well just as my daughter did when she was 13. I only did it once as well lol We are very very protective of all our family members especially our parents and grandparents. I dont know maybe it a mexican thang lol we dont F*** around you respect or you get it. I think if more ppl would do that kids these days wouldnt be so disgusting and disrespectful.

    I totally agree with the whole respect thing, mine wasn't to show respect when I got spanked or really should say got my *kitten* beaten to a pulp lol, I am all for teaching kids to respect and such and yeah my mother never really hit me. Accept when I was learning karate and she pissed me off and I went at her, OH boy did she knock me for one and I was 13 at that time so I deserved that. I have a Mexican father in law and he is all for the Yes Sir and No Ma'm type stuff :), his children still speak it to him and they are like 20 and above. So I wouldn't mind that output with my kids, but with me its going to be WAY hard as I have my fathers temper and I saw were that landed my butt when I did anything wrong. SO I am making sure to learn the right ways to treat anyone. I know to some there probably all YOUR AN ADULT YOU KNOW RIGHT, fair to that but when your young and raised in it for 18 years and then get married at 19 and never really learned about you because you were so scared of getting the tar beat out of you..that's a different story. But I got my punishment that I need and got help and I am much happier and calmer. Still got the sarcastic mouth, but better none the less :)

    Yes I totally agree I think ppl mistake abuse and discipline and make it all one and it is not. I can literally count on both hands how many times I have had to put my hand on a butt or across the mouth of my 2 kids. The reason being is there is clear signals before it gets to that point but like all humans there are times they will just push to see if in fact the consequence is there. My parents had the "LOOK: didnt have to say a word just the "look" That was enough for us for the most part :laugh: When we pushed then it went to the stern voice and some type of warning verbally :laugh: If my 2 brothers or myself were brave enough to push the last straw thats when we got it lol and by got it I mean either a smack for a smart mouth or a spank on the *kitten* for not obeying. I can also count on both hands the amount of times I was spanked I was an unruly child almost have to use my toes :laugh:
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    No, society is all F'd up because children are being raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable to them. And I'm sorry, but I don't see how spanking translates into toughness or the ability to defend oneself.

    Your approach is to be tough on them first and love them second, and all that does is teach the child to use fear as the basis for interacting with the world.

    In the wise words of Master Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

    There is only one absolute in the universe and that is love. Teach your children to approach the world from the basis of love not fear.
  • Jonesingmucho
    Jonesingmucho Posts: 4,902 Member
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    No, society is all F'd up because children are being raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable to them. And I'm sorry, but I don't see how spanking translates into toughness or the ability to defend oneself.

    Your approach is to be tough on them first and love them second, and all that does is teach the child to use fear as the basis for interacting with the world.

    In the wise words of Master Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

    There is only one absolute in the universe and that is love. Teach your children to approach the world from the basis of love not fear.


    x bows to brilliance and awesomeness x
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    No, society is all F'd up because children are being raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable to them. And I'm sorry, but I don't see how spanking translates into toughness or the ability to defend oneself.

    Your approach is to be tough on them first and love them second, and all that does is teach the child to use fear as the basis for interacting with the world.

    In the wise words of Master Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

    There is only one absolute in the universe and that is love. Teach your children to approach the world from the basis of love not fear.

    Stupidity leads to fear sir. Something my children do not have to worry about. My kids are in no way scared of me but then again I communicate to them and explain things. Just because you had horrible parent(s) that ABUSED you and didnt disicpline you dont take it out on the parents that actually love and appreciate their children and dont abuse them but teach them the difference between the 2. I never feared my parents either but I sure as hell respect them.
  • demonlullaby
    demonlullaby Posts: 499 Member
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    What distinguishes spanking from other forms of violence? Isnt all violence abusive?

    THIS!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    Yeah, we don't want dem pansies in 'Merica!!

    Children need to learn that actions have rewards and consequences. Spanking is one of the worst ways to teach consequences because it has reprocussions such as teaching them to deal with negative situations with anger and violence. In our day and age, responding to every situation with anger and violence leads to jail time.
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    Options
    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    Yeah, we don't want dem pansies in 'Merica!!

    Children need to learn that actions have rewards and consequences. Spanking is one of the worst ways to teach consequences because it has reprocussions such as teaching them to deal with negative situations with anger and violence. In our day and age, responding to every situation with anger and violence leads to jail time.

    Lack of communication,concern and the well being of your child leads to jail time. If there was any truth to what you said me and my siblings would be in prison It is ridiculous and untrue stop spreading BS
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    No, society is all F'd up because children are being raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable to them. And I'm sorry, but I don't see how spanking translates into toughness or the ability to defend oneself.

    Your approach is to be tough on them first and love them second, and all that does is teach the child to use fear as the basis for interacting with the world.

    In the wise words of Master Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

    There is only one absolute in the universe and that is love. Teach your children to approach the world from the basis of love not fear.

    Stupidity leads to fear sir. Something my children do not have to worry about. My kids are in no way scared of me but then again I communicate to them and explain things. Just because you had horrible parent(s) that ABUSED you and didnt disicpline you dont take it out on the parents that actually love and appreciate their children and dont abuse them but teach them the difference between the 2. I never feared my parents either but I sure as hell respect them.

    I'm not even going to dignify this with a response, however

    Your_argument_is_invalid.jpg
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
    Options
    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    No, society is all F'd up because children are being raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable to them. And I'm sorry, but I don't see how spanking translates into toughness or the ability to defend oneself.

    Your approach is to be tough on them first and love them second, and all that does is teach the child to use fear as the basis for interacting with the world.

    In the wise words of Master Yoda: Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.

    There is only one absolute in the universe and that is love. Teach your children to approach the world from the basis of love not fear.

    Stupidity leads to fear sir. Something my children do not have to worry about. My kids are in no way scared of me but then again I communicate to them and explain things. Just because you had horrible parent(s) that ABUSED you and didnt disicpline you dont take it out on the parents that actually love and appreciate their children and dont abuse them but teach them the difference between the 2. I never feared my parents either but I sure as hell respect them.

    I'm not even going to dignify this with a response, however

    Your_argument_is_invalid.jpg

    Thats what all ppl that dont have a leg to stand on say.....have a good night.:drinker:
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
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    I think if youve done your job right in the first place there would be no need to go to the extreme of spanking a child.
    Youre teaching a child that they cant hit, its not nice, theyll get in trouble...unless youre an adult hitting a child. Then its OK. Why?

    Totally disagree. There are other, better forms of punishment too get the point across!
  • 2FatToRun
    2FatToRun Posts: 810 Member
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    I think if youve done your job right in the first place there would be no need to go to the extreme of spanking a child.
    Youre teaching a child that they cant hit, its not nice, theyll get in trouble...unless youre an adult hitting a child. Then its OK. Why?

    Totally disagree. There are other, better forms of punishment too get the point across!

    Society doesnt reflect your opinion. There was corporal punishment in schools when I was younger. Since it has not been allowed the world continues to get worse. Kids continue to get worse. And parents hands are tied for the most part when it comes to how they can raise their children Obviously some things were taken out of the equation to result in the present. Lack of parenting, lack of discipline(not abuse) is exactly why we have the issues we have today that we didnt have when I was growing up. Ask any old timer older than I am. They will tell you as well. I dont condone BEATING a child because they piss you off. If you do that you dont deserve children. Stop putting it all in the ABUSE category its ridiculous.
  • schondell
    schondell Posts: 556 Member
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    My freshman psych class says the best way to teach children/teens how to avoid peer pressure is to show them exactly what to say or do. So if you don't want your son to hang out with those "wannabe" gangster kids you'd have to tell him to say "No, I can't gang bang later today, I have karate" or something along those lines
  • C12254
    C12254 Posts: 198
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    I just dont see how you can differentiate violence into legitimate and non legitimate forms. and surely the point is to teach children what is right and wrong...not just that they have to do what I say or I'll hit them

    I can see your point here. But how do you teach say a very young child who can't understand you yet how something is wrong? You can't sit them down and tell them what they've done is wrong. Do you yell at them? Do you put them in time out, where they stand the potential of not even knowing.caring why they are there?
    If the child is that young and cant understand how are they supposed to understand why you are hitting them? and how will they know that *you* feel there is a difference between punishment and just abuse? to them its hitting them and emotionally scaring them.
    you get down to their level and talk to them. be consistent. if it takes them learning something the hard way, so be it. but if its something dangerous, then its your job as a parent to be watching them and making sure they arent in harms way. you cant be lazy and be a good parent! you have to actually try. Sadly too many parents dont do this.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    Spanking teaches children that violence is an appropriate response to anger. I never spanked any of my children.

    As the adult it is your responsibility to find appropriate forms of discipline for the child without using violence. Bad behavior on the part of the child doesn't justify the same for you. The child doesn't know any better, but you do.

    One of the greatest things you can teach your child is how to handle their emotions. If you teach them violence as a response to anger, they will respond with fear. A child should never fear their parent, nor should fear play a role influencing good behavior. Furthermore, losing your temper demonstrates to them that you have no control over your own emotions.

    You will find that children will respond much better to discipline when an attentive and compassionate parent teaches them to be mindful of their feelings, and how to communicate them effectively. Not by fear as a tool for correcting them. Thats the easy way of dealing with it and has no positive affect on the child.

    This is why society is all F'd up lol That may work for you and yours but I def wont allow that pansy crap for my kids. My kids are going to be tough and able to fight if someone swings on them. Just because you spank your kids doesnt mean you do it in anger. If I hit my kids everytime they made me angry or annoyed me they would be black and blue. Good luck to you and your kids though hope they are stable and strong when they become adults. Oh BTW spanking doesnt teach a child violence not explaining why they were spanked does.

    Yeah, we don't want dem pansies in 'Merica!!

    Children need to learn that actions have rewards and consequences. Spanking is one of the worst ways to teach consequences because it has reprocussions such as teaching them to deal with negative situations with anger and violence. In our day and age, responding to every situation with anger and violence leads to jail time.

    Lack of communication,concern and the well being of your child leads to jail time. If there was any truth to what you said me and my siblings would be in prison It is ridiculous and untrue stop spreading BS

    An abundance of communication and concern is usually an indicator that spanking isn't necessary. Spanking is usually a kneejerk, angry reaction to something your child did wrong. Also, I did not say that spanking absolutely leads to jail time. I lovingly suggest you learn to comprehend what you read.