This may sound evil, but....keeping it real.
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It's better to go into it fit, than not. You'll rebound a lot quicker
Wow at your pic and so true about going into it fit.0 -
It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.
So she can make a comment, but I can't comment on that comment? Got it, thanks. And I'm not the only one judging, SHE is too. Hence the "evil, but....keeping it real" that she typed herself in the title.
I've got two kids, and not only have I sacrificed plenty, I'm willing to sacrifice it all, so that part can go KMA, for reals.0 -
It is definitely worth every single pound
I gained 60 with my baby girl (10 was water weight) but I wouldn't change it for the world! She's more important than the extra 50 pounds I gained. So the hard work to lose it again is worth it. And she loves for me to push her in her stroller while I walk! I regret not keeping fit while I was pregnant. I wasn't completely fit when Igot pregnant but was at 117. It makes it easier on you and the baby when.you work out while you're pregnant. As long as there are no complications and the doctor Oks it you stay fit and be pregnant 0 -
It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.
So she can make a comment, but I can't comment on that comment? Got it, thanks. And I'm not the only one judging, SHE is too. Hence the "evil, but....keeping it real" that she typed herself in the title.
I've got two kids, and not only have I sacrificed plenty, I'm willing to sacrifice it all, so that part can go KMA, for reals.
I developed 2 health conditions having my kids. How exactly has your health been affected by bringing children into this world?
But it's great that you would be willing to sacrifice anything for your children. The world needs more dads like you. But nature doesn't demand as much from the dads as it does the moms where childbirth is concerned, and that's a fact!
My point was that it is NOT evil to not want to get pregnant just to preserve your body. Get over yourself. You are entitled to your opinion, but entitlement alone doesn't make your opinion right!0 -
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Big pregnancies and kids. I gained 60+ pounds eating foolishly with the first and it took years to lose. I gained 16 pounds eating sensibly with the second and walked out of the hospital weighing less than when I got pregnant.
As for your concerns about wrecking your body, if you've ever been on one of those pregnancy sites, about 80 percent of the posts are about these fears (stretch marks, gaining weight, loose skin, etc., etc.,) You aren't alone in having the thoughts.
With you, the biggest concern is your medical condition. Think long and hard about it and make sure your doctor is on board. My doctors said "NO WAY" when I mentioned having another child.0 -
Agree!! lolGet a dog or cat instead.0
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I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
there is no reason you HAVE to breed!
you can always adopt if you really want a child!0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.
When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.
All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.
Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.
Again, nothing but love here.
:flowerforyou:0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.
When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.
All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.
Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.
Again, nothing but love here.
:flowerforyou:
Well I really didn't see where she was saying that she was ready. I kind of thought she was just trying to decide what she wanted to do about having a family and wanted others opinions on it. My post was really more towards the small group with comments like "do the world a favor and don't have kids."0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
*raises my hand* Me. I can honestly say that this thought never crossed my mind before having children. Never. Deciding to bring a life into this world amazingly takes the focus off of yourself.0 -
But you'll eventually lose it all again! Ive heard breastfeeding makes the weight come off faster. Just saying0
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They are worth it!! Worth every pound and every stretch mark.
looking back to some comments, many are just uncalled for and the people making said comments that you shouldn't breed ( I hate that term) get your tubes tied, you should never have kids, blah blah blah, they need a high five to the face with a steel chair.
That quote above, it's true. I was high risk. a history of miscarriages in the family, my high blood pressure, and just regular stress. I had to stop doing my aerobics, but I could walk. I gained 60 pounds, and had stretch marks for the first time ever. but, I did lose the weight. got down to 215 in about 6 months, but then work clashed with the gym, and here I am again.
but, I cant imagine life without my buttercup. << see profile pic. if you're truly scared, go on birth control and do some research with doctors about working out. lots of water aerobics may be available.
Thank you for responding to the post without coming at me with a pitch fork and torch
You know I wasn't born with hydrocephalus but I did end up with it around 3 months old and ended up having shunts inserted. Do you still have on going complications from it? I had 2 kids and worked the entire time on my feet although I did end up with csections. My pregancies were very low key and uncomplicated. There is hope! :}
I've had a ton of complications LOL. Been good for a couple years now. Hey Hydro sister.0 -
Heck, I'm here losing pregnancy weight after 2 kids, almost back to back (I got pregnant with my second child 2 weeks after my first child's first birthday). I would never ever ever EVER give up my kids for the body I had before. They are worth everything to me, and if I had to choose between having my kids while being 300 lbs and not having my kids while being 120, I'd choose my kids every last time.0
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14 lbs skinnier than right before I got pregnant. It can be done!0 -
But you'll eventually lose it all again! Ive heard breastfeeding makes the weight come off faster. Just saying
It's actually kinda true. Your babies eats 300 calories of breast milk a day, roughly. I'm nursing, so I've done the research to find out.0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.
I should have to reveal everything about me just for you people to NOT come at me like an angry mob.
^^^ This...
Really, if you had mentioned your brain condition and danger to your life, the responses would have been a hella lot different.
Instead, all you mentioned is getting in shape, and then gaining it all back because of a baby.... so to get mad at us for NOT responding to something you DIDNT say, seems a tad inappropriate... no?0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
There is some venom here, I will give you that... but I think that to say she is not ready is not an insult - because she clearly isn't.
I've had two kids... and I love them to bits. But at this stage in my life, I don't want to have another pregnant body to deal with. I don't want the water retention, bloaty, cranky, I can't tie my own shoes anymore feeling. I don't want to lose my six pack. And to me, even though I am a great mom, it says that I should NOT have another child.
When I got pregnant with my first baby, I was in pretty darn good shape... and the thought of losing that shape didn't bother me in the least, because I was ready to get pregnant and start a family.
All I meant to say in my comments, and I think that it's a common sentiment, is that with all the kids out there that are not wanted... she needs to get to a place where she really wants it.
Furthermore, now that I know she has a brain condition, I would offer even MORE caution against having a baby - as she would be putting her own life (and the life of her baby / future child) at risk.
Again, nothing but love here.
:flowerforyou:
Well I really didn't see where she was saying that she was ready. I kind of thought she was just trying to decide what she wanted to do about having a family and wanted others opinions on it. My post was really more towards the small group with comments like "do the world a favor and don't have kids."
EXACTLY never said I was ready. If folks would READ I said "by the time I get married and thinking about having kids".0 -
To the OP think of it the other way around ...would a child want you as a mother if you are going to be so selfish as to care about yourself before they even come into the world?
If you are so self consumed about yourself before you even get pregnant with me or give birth to me, then, I would prefer that you either
1. get that out of your system now
2. mature a little
3. do both
4. enjoy me
5. get your body back after you have carried me carefully / given birth to me?
6. I will love you no matter what you look like
7. be there forever mummy
8. you can see where this is going can`t you?0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
Thats a real terrifying thought for me too.0 -
I'm actually in better shape after having kids then I was before any pregnancies. It does change your body shape, but it's 100% worth it. I'm currently trying to lose the weight I gained after having my youngest 2 months ago. My boys keep me on my toes. Before them, it was easy to sit on my butt and play WoW all day. I can't do that anymore, I have to move all the time before the older one finds trouble!0
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I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
You are obviously going to gain some...but my wife worked out for most of her pregnancy and she maintained a healthy pregnancy weight throughout. Being that she was in very good shape to begin with, it was pretty easy for her to shed the baby weight and get back to her old self. If you're out of shape to begin with, it's much harder.0 -
OP Is evil.0
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I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.
But nowhere did she say that she doesn't want kids because it will make her fat.
The people attacking her did NOT read her words correctly. OP was expressing concern about a lot of hard work being reversed. She didn't say she'd rather LGN than be a mother. Caring about your physical appearance does not make you a bad person (or else every last one of us here is going straight to hell), nor does it make you an unsuitable candidate for parenthood.
Nothing OP said warrants the level of rancor she's getting, here. Everybody needs to crack a cold one and CTFO.0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
I also can't fathom how women allow this to happen. I'm thoroughly grossed out by the thought of conception, carriage, and birth of a child. Then, after all of that sacrifice and pain, you have to be chained to it 24/7 and never truly be independent again. I can't imagine anything worse. But then... I Google before/after pics of women's stomachs and I become truly terrified. I know that a lot of women can "recover" from the damage, but many are not fortunate enough despite their best efforts. If vanity were my only issue, I'd probably be able to overcome it. I have much bigger issues (obviously) than that, though. No kids for me. If you don't want kids either, regardless of your reason(s), there's nothing wrong with that.
You're entitled to your own opinion, for certain. But, as I type, I'm looking at my ten week old. He's in my arms, looking up at me with his big beautiful eyes, smiling a smile that makes his whole face light up, and saying "ah-goo" over and over. Makes my heart melt.
Oh yeah. It's worth it. It may not be to you, but it is to the mothers who are posting.0 -
You can do a fake pregnancy like Beyonce.
Beyonce's pregnancy was fake? lol0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.
But nowhere did she say that she doesn't want kids because it will make her fat.
The people attacking her did NOT read her words correctly. OP was expressing concern about a lot of hard work being reversed. She didn't say she'd rather LGN than be a mother. Caring about your physical appearance does not make you a bad person (or else every last one of us here is going straight to hell), nor does it make you an unsuitable candidate for parenthood.
Nothing OP said warrants the level of rancor she's getting, here. Everybody needs to crack a cold one and CTFO.
Agree. I lost my weight at about 20 yrs old and kept it off for years. When I became pregnant at 30, YES, I was concerned about how I would look after my son was born. We waited nearly 10 years into our marriage to have him. We planned for him, waited for him, and were absolutely delighted to know he was coming. STILL, with all that said, I was afraid of gaining weight & not being able to lose it. My middle and high school years were miserable, and I didn't want to go back there. So what did I do? I watched my diet and did what my doctor advised re: weight gain. After his birth, as soon as I got the all clear, I got to work on the extra lbs. It can be done. OP, when you are ready in life to have a child, know that you don't have to be overweight/out of shape afterwards.
I don't think it's evil to want to look your best & take care of yourself.0 -
yep, definitely time to start worrying about that stuff now. got to get a jump start on negative thinking
^^Love this!
Anyways, if this is your main concern don't have kids. My kids are worth every stretch mark, laugh line, grey hair and sleepless night.0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
That sounds nice and all, but she isn't getting venom because she doesn't want to have kids. Nobody cares if someone chooses not to have kids. It's that the reason she's worried about having kids reeks of a vain sort of selfishness. A selfishness that may get in the way of raising a child properly, so recommending adoption is not something I'd do at the moment. Granted, she's young and will likely have many changes of mind over the last decade, but until those changes happen, "Don't Have Kids" is solid advice, IMO.
It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.
Adoption is a very long process and, yes, she is young. She stated in her OP "when" she gets married, so obviously, she is a long way away from becoming a mother. And who cares if her reasons are vanity, its possible to love yourself and a child. As a matter of fact, more women could use a little practice in managing both.
This^^
What, exactly is so wrong about a little vanity? (without getting all religious on me, here) Taking pride in your personal appearance and caring about your looks is perfectly natural, and healthy.
To be honest, I am probably the vainest little piece of *kitten* I know. How I feel about myself has no bearing on my child or what kind of mom I am. I adore my little boy. I take excellent care of him and he knows he is loved. After he is changed, fed, dressed and cleaned up in the morning, then I take care of myself. He always comes first, then I come second.0 -
My last pregnancy I was having breathing issues and was on steriods for the last four months. I went from 130 to being 199 the day before she was born ( at 10 lbs 2 oz).I'm only 5'1 so that's a lot of weight on my frame.
It took a long time to get the weight off ( I was 37 when I had her,a "geriatric pregnancy") but I now weigh a little less than pre-pregnancy.
But she was worth all the weight and discomfort.0 -
yep, definitely time to start worrying about that stuff now. got to get a jump start on negative thinking
^^Love this!
Anyways, if this is your main concern don't have kids. My kids are worth every stretch mark, laugh line, grey hair and sleepless night.
Doesn't sound like it is her main concern. If you could have had your kids without the stretch marks and sleepless nights, would you have? Have you ever complained about one of those things to anyone?0
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