This may sound evil, but....keeping it real.

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Replies

  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    To the OP think of it the other way around ...would a child want you as a mother if you are going to be so selfish as to care about yourself before they even come into the world?

    If you are so self consumed about yourself before you even get pregnant with me or give birth to me, then, I would prefer that you either

    1. get that out of your system now
    2. mature a little
    3. do both
    4. enjoy me
    5. get your body back after you have carried me carefully / given birth to me?
    6. I will love you no matter what you look like
    7. be there forever mummy
    8. you can see where this is going can`t you?

    Yes, I can see where this is going. Nonexistent child is going to take advantage of mommy's humanity to expertly emotionally manipulate her for some secondary gains.

    Don't tell me for a second that every person on this board hasn't wished for something to be easier while still finding it worth it. My career choice was worth it. I wish it paid more. I adore my pets. I wish they were tax deductible or had realistic health insurance.

    OP isn't questioning whether or not your children were worth it to you. She's not even questioning whether it's worth it to her. She's just saying it sucks. That somehow makes her worse than not wanting to have morning sickness, hemorrhoids, swollen feet, or leaking breasts? She didn't put a single one of you down. She's feeling proud of her body and a twinge of regret that her body will change dramatically for something she really wants. That is actually sacrifice. If you truly *never* had a thought of your body and how it would change, that doesn't make you the better person. OP having these thoughts and be willing to do it makes her pretty awesome, actually. You can't be brave if you aren't afraid.

    Mothers aren't allowed to care about their own bodies now? F that. I want children to know that part of being a human means taking good care of yourself without apology and guilt. Fitness and pride in yourself counts. Obviously, if the choice is between a baby eating and me eating, the kid wins. If there is more than enough to go around, then the kid gets to see what balanced looks like.
  • IamSheaMc
    IamSheaMc Posts: 1,273 Member
    I don't get why people are attacking this girl on a fitness website for expressing a fear.
    She NEVER said she didn't want kids, actually the OP states what she fears "AFTER GIVING BIRTH" gaining all the weight back after just losing it.
    Are you implying that she is the only female who thinks it would suck to gain back all the weight she has lost?
    I'm sure she will deal with it, however this weight loss journey is not easy, so maybe she was just thinking out loud how much harder it will be to get it done with children/a child.

    Why always find something in every post to go after someone about?
  • meagank28
    meagank28 Posts: 52
    NOT TO BE MEAN BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BABIES JUST BECAUSE YOU GET MARRIED. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN. AND IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS THEN DO THE HEALTH RESEARCH FIRST. IF YOU START OUT WITH HEALTHY HABITS AND KEEP IT UP THROUGH PREGNANCY THERE SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM
  • stephaniemejia1671
    stephaniemejia1671 Posts: 482 Member
    I had the same thoughts actually. I also think this- if you start now and continue during and after your pregnancy eating better and working out it will all be ok.
  • usernameMAMA
    usernameMAMA Posts: 681 Member
    I haven't read the other responses but my baby is worth every single moment of struggle that I am having to lose the weight. This is coming from a woman who never wanted kids...totally worth it!
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    NOT TO BE MEAN BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BABIES JUST BECAUSE YOU GET MARRIED. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN. AND IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS THEN DO THE HEALTH RESEARCH FIRST. IF YOU START OUT WITH HEALTHY HABITS AND KEEP IT UP THROUGH PREGNANCY THERE SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM

    Lower your voice, Ron.
  • ainsleybtown
    ainsleybtown Posts: 484
    worth every pound gained. It's hard as hell to get it off, but maybe one day you'll want to go down that road.
  • lheyens
    lheyens Posts: 62
    its worth it! my son just turned one... my profile pic is one year after giving birth, had i not been in good shape, been strong and had healthy habits before pregnancy i would be a fat mess now, and my pregnancy would not have been a pretty thing :) just make sure through pregnancy to keep eating healthy and keep exercising! :)
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    I never understand these posts. You put a question to the public forums, you get what you get. I mean, maybe some of the responses are meaner than what you hoped, but surely you didn't expect everyone to pat you on the head and offer you lollipops, did you? Why put the statement out there if you don't want to hear the answers?

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  • VeganSurfer
    VeganSurfer Posts: 383 Member
    OTT reactions on MFP....whatever next.
  • commanderval
    commanderval Posts: 187 Member
    There are many reasons not to have children, as there are many reasons to have them. The fear of body changing and weight gain is something that every woman that want kids has...well I guess. But it should not stop you from having a child if thats what you want deep down inside.

    I don't want children for various reasons and I have thought about it very hard before making this decision and it does NOT involve the fear of body change. Saying you don't want kids because you fear that your body will change just reinforces the stereotype of childfree people being selfish freaks.
  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    The funny thing about that is...... that is completely in your control. You don't have to gain a ton of weight when you get married. You don't have to gain a ton of weight while you're pregnant. You don't have to hold on to the weight just because you have a baby. You don't even have to have babies. :)
  • FitWithWit44
    FitWithWit44 Posts: 412 Member
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  • BuoyantSoul
    BuoyantSoul Posts: 117 Member
    Nope. I gave birth 18 months ago at age 36. Was in great shape before getting pregnant but sat on my *kitten* and ate cake throughout the whole pregnancy, gained 22 kg.

    Now, a year and a half later, I'm in close to the best shape of my life. Have not a single stretch mark. (I realize that's pure luck.)

    I lost most of the weight very easily by breastfeeding. Three months after giving birth I had lost 90% of the weight through NO effort of my own. A few months ago I got tired of being "skinnyfat" and out of shape, so I took up diet and exercise. I very rapidly lost the last 10% baby weight and regained all the muscle I had before getting pregnant. You would NEVER guess I had a baby. People are always amazed to see I have a toddler, especially since I'm older than most moms. The best part is I can carry my son around on one arm all over the place without getting winded.

    Not everyone has a totally wrecked body after childbirth, even if they don't work out while pregnant. If you DO work out while pregnant then I'm sure it's even easier to bounce back. Look at Tanya from the Shaun T. videos - I mean holy crap.

    I don't think there's any big secret to it, it's just basically taking care of yourself through proper diet and exercise.

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