A Woman Needs To Feel Desired
Replies
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I'm not married and don't have kids, so I am not going to criticize this harshly. I have a mom and a dad who are together 30 years, so I can see it from an outside looking in. BUT I do have to agree with some of the women here who are criticizing it for being sexist. It does have a tinge of that to it. After I read it, I thought "Really, LIE TO ME?! I would rather end my marriage than ask my husband to LIE to me and tell me he loves me or I'm beautiful if that's not really what he feels". It just makes it sound like the woman completely equates how her husband views her and thinks of her with her self worth and esteem. That part I don't like so much. If I married my partner some day, and after years he started to make me unhappy...then that's it. I'm making myself happy. I'm telling myself how fantastic and beautiful I am. In the end, that's all you really have...yourself. And if you can't be content and confident with that, then I think there are some deeper issues going on. Again, a nice poem. I don't want to read into it too much. Just saying I agree with some of the comments on here who are looking at it from a third wave feminist perspective.I don't like the implications that a woman needs some sort of approval from a man in order to be happy.
But I do think that a lot of people (not just women) thrive on approval or "desire", I guess, from other people in order to feel good about themselves. At least, I know I do. So yeah, while this might be slightly true, it's presented in a way that is kiiiiiind of sexist.
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LOVE THIS ... LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!0
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women AND men appreciate being desired.
It's JUST as important for a man to know you desire him...it is a two way street.
This and like another poster said, I don't want to be lied to - in any form
Edit to add: Not a huge fan of the useage of "need"
I know personally I want to be desired but if I don't feel good about myself FIRST, it'd show and I think make me less desirable.
Sends a poor message that married women with children are completely dependent upon their husband to feel good about themselves. LiL Pathetic actually.0 -
The original post was pretty long and it's wayyyy too complicated for most guys, considering we're pretty simple. For me I follow the same rule now I did when I was five when it comes to showing a girl I like her. That is, call her bad names and pull her hair
Works like a charm!!! 0 -
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The original post was pretty long and it's wayyyy too complicated for most guys, considering we're pretty simple. For me I follow the same rule now I did when I was five when it comes to showing a girl I like her. That is, call her bad names and pull her hair Works like a charm!!!
Still works on me!0 -
I think a woman, like a man, wants to feel desired, yes. But needs to? Maybe some may feel they need to. But me...I'd rather have the truth, at any cost. And what's most important for me is not whether a man finds me desirable but whether I find me desirable. Because no one else is responsible for my own mental, emotional, and physical health but me. And it doesn't serve me or anyone else to live life so disempowered that I'm dependent on someone else to validate my attractiveness in order for me to feel joy in life. My desirability or validation doesn't rest on looks or any particular quality. It is a matter of claiming and owning what already belongs to me unconditionally, my own self worth. Someone else's opinion will not, can not, ever change that. How sad to think it could, as fickle as human opinions are.0
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Everybody wants to be feel wanted and desired. This is a gender neutral concept and a basic human emotional need. But psych 101 tells us that only you can make you feel better about yourself. Placing your self confidence upon the opinions of others is a recipe for emotional ruin and social anxiety.0
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bump
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Yes, please 0
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I LOVE THIS!!0
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I agree.
Women do need to feel desired.
This is why I follow them around and dry hump their legs.0 -
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.0
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Grateful everyday that my husband sees me like this - thanks for posting!0
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When I'm not feeling sexy I usually lock my cat in the closet until I feel sexy again.0
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what is this?
whats this unscientific discussion:bigsmile: going around ?0 -
tl;dr0
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Other people's desires are none of my business.0
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When I'm not feeling sexy I usually lock my cat in the closet until I feel sexy again.
you just made me literally laugh out loud with this.0 -
nice!
im in the wrong post :grumble:0 -
Other people's desires are none of my business.
Absolutely!0 -
Always the guy's fault if the marriage fails. If wife doesn't like herself- hmm- must be the guys fault. Couldn't possibly be the wife's fault for not studying and learning more about her diet, changing lifestyle, getting to the gym, etc.Read this online tonight. I think it's one of the truest, most well written things I've read. I'm certain that some will disagree, but it summed me up pretty well.
'A woman who feels desired is many things:
She is less likely to reach frustration with
you
or the children
or the cat
or the dog.
She is more likely to feel like an important part of
your life
and the home you share
and the children you created together.
She is more likely to look at her own body
and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed
since bringing your children into the world,
she is more likely to remember the feel of
your hands on her hips
or trailing down her spine
or the way that you pull her in
and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.
A woman who feels desired
is so much easier to sit across the table from
as she is less likely to be judging
her own skin
her own curves
her own worth
her place in the bed that you share.
She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,
feed it good, whole foods
put it to frequent use in the garden
enjoy the pull of muscle
and increasing strength
as she carries ever-growing children
and becomes more confident with household repairs.
A woman who feels desired will rear children
who see their bodies as perfect works of art
that should be celebrated
respected
and capable of love.
It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
It does not require
expensive jewelery
exotic flowers
pages of poems
romantic dates
or even dramatic words.
You can tell a woman you desire her
with nothing more than a look
a simple touch
a well placed word
and by listening to what she's saying
and then responding appropriately.
Without those simple things
even a strong woman may start to feel
less.
And less leads to
depression
self loathing
anger
frustration
bad parenting
and a marriage
that may not last the next five years.
So when your wife or girlfriend asks you,
"Do you find me sexy?"
the answer should never be
a long pause
followed by a apologetic
"I just love you."
Lie to me
if you have to,
but tell me "yes"
and then watch
as my confidence continues
to bloom
and my heart stays open
even when the world
is throwing us curve balls.
Because sometimes,
a woman needs to know she is desired
or she'll start to believe
it is no longer true."0 -
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I agree.
Women do need to feel desired.
This is why I follow them around and dry hump their legs.
lol omG lol not sure this is what the article was trying to convey, but it's hilarious none the less.....0 -
I don't need to feel it.
i am
I am desired and I know it.0 -
If your entire life is wrapped up in what another person (your husband, for example) thinks of you, then yes, this is true. But if you can stand on your own self worth and feel desirable no matter what anyone thinks of you, you are much better off.0
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Always the guy's fault if the marriage fails. If wife doesn't like herself- hmm- must be the guys fault. Couldn't possibly be the wife's fault for not studying and learning more about her diet, changing lifestyle, getting to the gym, etc.Read this online tonight. I think it's one of the truest, most well written things I've read. I'm certain that some will disagree, but it summed me up pretty well.
'A woman who feels desired is many things:
She is less likely to reach frustration with
you
or the children
or the cat
or the dog.
She is more likely to feel like an important part of
your life
and the home you share
and the children you created together.
She is more likely to look at her own body
and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed
since bringing your children into the world,
she is more likely to remember the feel of
your hands on her hips
or trailing down her spine
or the way that you pull her in
and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.
A woman who feels desired
is so much easier to sit across the table from
as she is less likely to be judging
her own skin
her own curves
her own worth
her place in the bed that you share.
She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,
feed it good, whole foods
put it to frequent use in the garden
enjoy the pull of muscle
and increasing strength
as she carries ever-growing children
and becomes more confident with household repairs.
A woman who feels desired will rear children
who see their bodies as perfect works of art
that should be celebrated
respected
and capable of love.
It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
It does not require
expensive jewelery
exotic flowers
pages of poems
romantic dates
or even dramatic words.
You can tell a woman you desire her
with nothing more than a look
a simple touch
a well placed word
and by listening to what she's saying
and then responding appropriately.
Without those simple things
even a strong woman may start to feel
less.
And less leads to
depression
self loathing
anger
frustration
bad parenting
and a marriage
that may not last the next five years.
So when your wife or girlfriend asks you,
"Do you find me sexy?"
the answer should never be
a long pause
followed by a apologetic
"I just love you."
Lie to me
if you have to,
but tell me "yes"
and then watch
as my confidence continues
to bloom
and my heart stays open
even when the world
is throwing us curve balls.
Because sometimes,
a woman needs to know she is desired
or she'll start to believe
it is no longer true."
Bitter much? I do take care of myself. I eat right. I make sure my family eats right. I dress well. I work out. But yes, my body has carried and gave birth to two daughters. My body did change. It has taken hard work to get me to the point of feeling good about my body. During that time it WAS important to me that my husband desired me. It didn't promote complacency. It made me want to be the very best I could be be....for me AND for him. I am in no way saying that its "the man's fault if the marriage fails"....I'm saying that (most) women need to feel desirable by their husbands and the father of their children. That's all.0 -
It is nice to feel desired but no, it doesn't make me a better wife, mother, or house keeper. Also, how do I know I'm desired or if he's just horney?0
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I think PEOPLE need to feel desired.
Sometimes one partner needs more picking up than the other and visa versa... It's a partnership in all aspects - even feeling desired. Not just focused on women OR men.
IMO0
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