A Woman Needs To Feel Desired

1235

Replies

  • reallifealien
    reallifealien Posts: 128 Member
    i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)
  • i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    Hey, at least you can admit that you're oblivious. You're lucky that you are privileged enough to remain oblivious. But if you spend a few seconds looking at the blatant misogyny that goes on EVERY SINGLE DAY, you might rethink your lack of desire to be a feminist. Being a feminist is a good thing, and if you think otherwise, then you probably have a misconception of what feminism is. But a lot of people still do, which is a shame.
  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,779 Member
    you know a thread has devolved completely when people who are supposedly against stereotyping and judgements are stereotyping and making judgements of others
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Thanks. I will.
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
    i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Feminism at its finest...
  • Tennolina
    Tennolina Posts: 2,413
    you know a thread has devolved completely when people who are supposedly against stereotyping and judgements are stereotyping and making judgements of others

    .Agreed.
  • patentguru
    patentguru Posts: 312 Member
    Always the guy's fault if the marriage fails. If wife doesn't like herself- hmm- must be the guys fault. Couldn't possibly be the wife's fault for not studying and learning more about her diet, changing lifestyle, getting to the gym, etc.
    Read this online tonight. I think it's one of the truest, most well written things I've read. I'm certain that some will disagree, but it summed me up pretty well.




    'A woman who feels desired is many things:
    She is less likely to reach frustration with
    you
    or the children
    or the cat
    or the dog.
    She is more likely to feel like an important part of
    your life
    and the home you share
    and the children you created together.
    She is more likely to look at her own body
    and instead of feeling disgust at the way it has changed
    since bringing your children into the world,
    she is more likely to remember the feel of
    your hands on her hips
    or trailing down her spine
    or the way that you pull her in
    and fit her perfectly into the spaces of your own form.
    A woman who feels desired
    is so much easier to sit across the table from
    as she is less likely to be judging
    her own skin
    her own curves
    her own worth
    her place in the bed that you share.
    She is more likely to care for the body she has been given,
    feed it good, whole foods
    put it to frequent use in the garden
    enjoy the pull of muscle
    and increasing strength
    as she carries ever-growing children
    and becomes more confident with household repairs.
    A woman who feels desired will rear children
    who see their bodies as perfect works of art
    that should be celebrated
    respected
    and capable of love.

    It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
    It does not require
    expensive jewelery
    exotic flowers
    pages of poems
    romantic dates
    or even dramatic words.
    You can tell a woman you desire her
    with nothing more than a look
    a simple touch
    a well placed word
    and by listening to what she's saying
    and then responding appropriately.

    Without those simple things
    even a strong woman may start to feel
    less.
    And less leads to
    depression
    self loathing
    anger
    frustration
    bad parenting
    and a marriage
    that may not last the next five years.

    So when your wife or girlfriend asks you,
    "Do you find me sexy?"
    the answer should never be
    a long pause
    followed by a apologetic
    "I just love you."

    Lie to me
    if you have to,
    but tell me "yes"
    and then watch
    as my confidence continues
    to bloom
    and my heart stays open
    even when the world
    is throwing us curve balls.
    Because sometimes,
    a woman needs to know she is desired
    or she'll start to believe
    it is no longer true."

    Bitter much? I do take care of myself. I eat right. I make sure my family eats right. I dress well. I work out. But yes, my body has carried and gave birth to two daughters. My body did change. It has taken hard work to get me to the point of feeling good about my body. During that time it WAS important to me that my husband desired me. It didn't promote complacency. It made me want to be the very best I could be be....for me AND for him. I am in no way saying that its "the man's fault if the marriage fails"....I'm saying that (most) women need to feel desirable by their husbands and the father of their children. That's all.
    [/quote

    Never said you don't take care of yourself. There is far more to a marriage than desire, especially when kids are involved. Your original post clearly stated "and a marriage that may not last the next five years" i.e. marriage fails if husband does not tell wife he desires her. Weak and pathetic excuse to end a marriage. That's all.
  • i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Thanks. I will.

    Feminism is not a bad word. And she does have a valid point, if you understand what privileged western white cis female means. Try not to close your mind to it. And don't be afraid to break out of that little world and look around every now and then.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    A Woman Needs To Feel Desired

    Totally desiring women right now. Can ya feel it?
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
    A Woman Needs To Feel Desired

    Totally desiring women right now. Can ya feel it?

    After catching up on this thread I can't imagine why.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Thanks. I will.

    Feminism is not a bad word. And she does have a valid point, if you understand what privileged western white cis female means. Try not to close your mind to it. And don't be afraid to break out of that little world and look around every now and then.

    Actually, I am a very open minded, liberal woman. I also happen to love men, especially the one I am married to. I don't resent them at every chance I get, unlike many women who call themselves feminists.

    When I started doing animal rescue work 12 years ago, I was one of "those" rescuers. The ones who judged every single pet owner and deemed them unfit to have a pet. The ones who look at a breeder and sneer because those breeders are causing animals in shelters to die. The ones who refuse to consider any reason at all a reason to give up a family pet.

    Fortunately, over the years, my mindset has softened. I am not nearly as idealistic or judgmental as I was back then. Not only has that made me a happier person, it's made me a better rescuer.

    Some feminists need to try that approach rather than condemning everything that is male.

  • Actually, I am a very open minded, liberal woman. I also happen to love men, especially the one I am married to. I don't resent them at every chance I get, unlike many women who call themselves feminists.



    Some feminists need to try that approach rather than condemning everything that is male.

    It's very clear to me that you have no idea what feminism is. Are there extreme feminists? Yeah. But that is a very small minority of feminists, it's just that that stereotype is the one that gains attention and it's the one that people think of as soon as feminism is brought up. It's a misconception of what feminism is.
  • i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Thanks. I will.

    Feminism is not a bad word. And she does have a valid point, if you understand what privileged western white cis female means. Try not to close your mind to it. And don't be afraid to break out of that little world and look around every now and then.

    Actually, I am a very open minded, liberal woman. I also happen to love men, especially the one I am married to. I don't resent them at every chance I get, unlike many women who call themselves feminists.

    When I started doing animal rescue work 12 years ago, I was one of "those" rescuers. The ones who judged every single pet owner and deemed them unfit to have a pet. The ones who look at a breeder and sneer because those breeders are causing animals in shelters to die. The ones who refuse to consider any reason at all a reason to give up a family pet.

    Fortunately, over the years, my mindset has softened. I am not nearly as idealistic or judgmental as I was back then. Not only has that made me a happier person, it's made me a better rescuer.

    Some feminists need to try that approach rather than condemning everything that is male.

    I love men too....probably more than women haha. And I love my feminist guy friends and boyfriend. I didn't mean to offend, I apologize if I came off as rude. I just meant that I saw the "feminist's" pov as valid and that we should just try to understand where she's coming from. I don't want us to just write her off as a crazy, judgmental, feminist b*tch. There's a lot of ugly stuff in this world ( as I'm sure you know as an animal rescuer) and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to protest against it. And btw thank you for devoting your time to the animals. I am an avid supporter.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    This thread is a perfect example of why we can't have nice things.
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    very moving
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

    yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

    I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

    then by all means continue 2 live ur privileged western white cis female life :)

    Thanks. I will.

    Feminism is not a bad word. And she does have a valid point, if you understand what privileged western white cis female means. Try not to close your mind to it. And don't be afraid to break out of that little world and look around every now and then.

    Actually, I am a very open minded, liberal woman. I also happen to love men, especially the one I am married to. I don't resent them at every chance I get, unlike many women who call themselves feminists.

    When I started doing animal rescue work 12 years ago, I was one of "those" rescuers. The ones who judged every single pet owner and deemed them unfit to have a pet. The ones who look at a breeder and sneer because those breeders are causing animals in shelters to die. The ones who refuse to consider any reason at all a reason to give up a family pet.

    Fortunately, over the years, my mindset has softened. I am not nearly as idealistic or judgmental as I was back then. Not only has that made me a happier person, it's made me a better rescuer.

    Some feminists need to try that approach rather than condemning everything that is male.

    I love men too....probably more than women haha. And I love my feminist guy friends and boyfriend. I didn't mean to offend, I apologize if I came off as rude. I just meant that I saw the "feminist's" pov as valid and that we should just try to understand where she's coming from. I don't want us to just write her off as a crazy, judgmental, feminist b*tch. There's a lot of ugly stuff in this world ( as I'm sure you know as an animal rescuer) and I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to protest against it. And btw thank you for devoting your time to the animals. I am an avid supporter.

    What is hilarious is as all of you are fighting back and forth I just keep picturing all of you in a boxing ring in bikinis covered in hot oil.....the way women should fight.

    *grabs popcorn*

    Continue.
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    What is hilarious is as all of you are fighting back and forth I just keep picturing all of you in a boxing ring in bikinis covered in hot oil.....the way women should fight.

    *grabs popcorn*

    Continue.

    tumblr_mbsuxhLYYu1riqizno1_500.gif
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    This is what I say to my girl:


    You know I'd fall apart without you
    I don't know how you do what you do
    'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
    Makes sense when I'm with you

    Like everything that's green, girl, I need you
    But it's more than one and one makes two
    Put aside the math and the logic of it
    You gotta know you're wanted too

    'Cause I wanna wrap you up
    Wanna kiss your lips
    I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

    Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah
    And you get that all the time, I know you do
    But your beauty's deeper than the make-up
    And I wanna show you what I see tonight...

    When I wrap you up
    When I kiss your lips.
    I I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

    As good as you make me feel
    I wanna make you feel better
    Better than your fairy tales
    Better than your best dreams
    You're more than everything I need
    You're all I ever wanted
    All I ever wanted

    And I just wanna wrap you up
    Wanna kiss your lips
    I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
    Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

    You'll always be wanted
  • ZealousMissJJ
    ZealousMissJJ Posts: 454 Member
    Jac. Just... You know.
  • eric_sg61
    eric_sg61 Posts: 2,925 Member



    And I love my feminist guy friends and boyfriend. I

    They are only saying and acting feminist to get in your pants:wink:
  • jeyko
    jeyko Posts: 368 Member
    I love it!
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    I would grab the popcorn but that would put me over my caloric goal.



  • And I love my feminist guy friends and boyfriend. I

    They are only saying and acting feminist to get in your pants:wink:

    The gay ones, too?! Weird...
  • AggieLu
    AggieLu Posts: 873 Member
    Thank you for sharing this. It is something I have been struggling with.
  • Like it! :drinker:
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Meh, I just want to be respected.
  • i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

    This isn't about certain people, though, but about the one you have chosen to spend your life with. More than a fair share of marriages fall apart because one spouse finds the attention elsewhere that was not given at home. I've been married for 15 wonderful years, but without respect, appreciation and desire on both of our parts, we would have not made it this long, especially as we age and body parts are not quite in the same places they used to be, LOL!
  • imchicbad
    imchicbad Posts: 1,650 Member



    And I love my feminist guy friends and boyfriend. I

    They are only saying and acting feminist to get in your pants:wink:

    The gay ones, too?! Weird...

    no they want to wear our pants...(giggles) even some straight ones...but that's another thread
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    Meh, I just want to be respected.

    ^^^
    me too sister...And I just want to laugh and keep life light most of the time. I'm not that high maintenance. If I ask, I want the truth. And if I have to ask my hubby if he loves me, that's dumb. When I really need to say is "I need a hug or a kiss from you" since that's what I really want, without putting the focus on something he isn't doing right when it's MY needs I need to express properly.

    And if I ask if something makes me look you fat and it does, DON'T lie. haha
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
    This is what I say to my girl:


    You know I'd fall apart without you
    I don't know how you do what you do
    'Cause everything that don't make sense about me
    Makes sense when I'm with you

    Like everything that's green, girl, I need you
    But it's more than one and one makes two
    Put aside the math and the logic of it
    You gotta know you're wanted too

    'Cause I wanna wrap you up
    Wanna kiss your lips
    I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    Yeah, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

    Anyone can tell you you're pretty, yeah
    And you get that all the time, I know you do
    But your beauty's deeper than the make-up
    And I wanna show you what I see tonight...

    When I wrap you up
    When I kiss your lips.
    I I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    'Cause, baby, I, I wanna make you feel wanted

    As good as you make me feel
    I wanna make you feel better
    Better than your fairy tales
    Better than your best dreams
    You're more than everything I need
    You're all I ever wanted
    All I ever wanted

    And I just wanna wrap you up
    Wanna kiss your lips
    I wanna make you feel wanted
    And I wanna call you mine
    Wanna hold your hand forever
    And never let you forget it
    Yeah, I wanna make you feel wanted
    Baby, I wanna make you feel wanted

    You'll always be wanted
    Thanks Hunter Hayes.