A Woman Needs To Feel Desired

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  • freebird777
    freebird777 Posts: 63
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    I'm not married and don't have kids, so I am not going to criticize this harshly. I have a mom and a dad who are together 30 years, so I can see it from an outside looking in. BUT I do have to agree with some of the women here who are criticizing it for being sexist. It does have a tinge of that to it. After I read it, I thought "Really, LIE TO ME?! I would rather end my marriage than ask my husband to LIE to me and tell me he loves me or I'm beautiful if that's not really what he feels". It just makes it sound like the woman completely equates how her husband views her and thinks of her with her self worth and esteem. That part I don't like so much. If I married my partner some day, and after years he started to make me unhappy...then that's it. I'm making myself happy. I'm telling myself how fantastic and beautiful I am. In the end, that's all you really have...yourself. And if you can't be content and confident with that, then I think there are some deeper issues going on. Again, a nice poem. I don't want to read into it too much. Just saying I agree with some of the comments on here who are looking at it from a third wave feminist perspective.
    I don't like the implications that a woman needs some sort of approval from a man in order to be happy.

    But I do think that a lot of people (not just women) thrive on approval or "desire", I guess, from other people in order to feel good about themselves. At least, I know I do. So yeah, while this might be slightly true, it's presented in a way that is kiiiiiind of sexist.

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  • nursedb
    nursedb Posts: 313 Member
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    LOVE THIS ... LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!!
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
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    women AND men appreciate being desired.

    It's JUST as important for a man to know you desire him...it is a two way street.

    This and like another poster said, I don't want to be lied to - in any form

    Edit to add: Not a huge fan of the useage of "need"
    I know personally I want to be desired but if I don't feel good about myself FIRST, it'd show and I think make me less desirable.
    Sends a poor message that married women with children are completely dependent upon their husband to feel good about themselves. LiL Pathetic actually.
  • drchimpanzee
    drchimpanzee Posts: 892 Member
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    The original post was pretty long and it's wayyyy too complicated for most guys, considering we're pretty simple. For me I follow the same rule now I did when I was five when it comes to showing a girl I like her. That is, call her bad names and pull her hair ;) Works like a charm!!!
  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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  • freebird777
    freebird777 Posts: 63
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    The original post was pretty long and it's wayyyy too complicated for most guys, considering we're pretty simple. For me I follow the same rule now I did when I was five when it comes to showing a girl I like her. That is, call her bad names and pull her hair ;) Works like a charm!!!

    Still works on me!
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
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    I think a woman, like a man, wants to feel desired, yes. But needs to? Maybe some may feel they need to. But me...I'd rather have the truth, at any cost. And what's most important for me is not whether a man finds me desirable but whether I find me desirable. Because no one else is responsible for my own mental, emotional, and physical health but me. And it doesn't serve me or anyone else to live life so disempowered that I'm dependent on someone else to validate my attractiveness in order for me to feel joy in life. My desirability or validation doesn't rest on looks or any particular quality. It is a matter of claiming and owning what already belongs to me unconditionally, my own self worth. Someone else's opinion will not, can not, ever change that. How sad to think it could, as fickle as human opinions are.
  • wolfpack77
    wolfpack77 Posts: 655
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    Everybody wants to be feel wanted and desired. This is a gender neutral concept and a basic human emotional need. But psych 101 tells us that only you can make you feel better about yourself. Placing your self confidence upon the opinions of others is a recipe for emotional ruin and social anxiety.
  • inkmonster
    inkmonster Posts: 36
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    bump :)
  • melbot24
    melbot24 Posts: 347 Member
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    Yes, please :)
  • MamaBear57
    MamaBear57 Posts: 336 Member
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    I LOVE THIS!!
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I agree.

    Women do need to feel desired.

    This is why I follow them around and dry hump their legs.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    .
  • JewelsinBigD
    JewelsinBigD Posts: 661 Member
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    Grateful everyday that my husband sees me like this - thanks for posting!
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
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    When I'm not feeling sexy I usually lock my cat in the closet until I feel sexy again.
  • abheshek
    abheshek Posts: 525 Member
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    what is this?

    whats this unscientific discussion:bigsmile: going around ?
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    tl;dr
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    Other people's desires are none of my business.
  • freebird777
    freebird777 Posts: 63
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    When I'm not feeling sexy I usually lock my cat in the closet until I feel sexy again.

    you just made me literally laugh out loud with this.

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