A Woman Needs To Feel Desired

jackpotclown

got it.....send.....more.....junk pics...totally there with ya, glad we can see eye to eye on this one \m/

Increditim

It is nice to feel desired but no, it doesn't make me a better wife, mother, or house keeper. Also, how do I know I'm desired or if he's just horney?

worst ever. So what if he's "just horny?". You kinda married him - dint cha? If he's "just horny" - wouldn't you rather he nail you instead of someone else?

:noway:

BusyRaeNOTBusty

It is nice to feel desired but no, it doesn't make me a better wife, mother, or house keeper. Also, how do I know I'm desired or if he's just horney?

worst ever. So what if he's "just horny?". You kinda married him - dint cha? If he's "just horny" - wouldn't you rather he nail you instead of someone else?

:noway:

I wasn't implying that I wouldn't have sex with him if he was "just horny" (strangely enough, I enjoy sex also), I was wondering why I'd pin my self confidence and self worth on his desire of me, when his sex drive might have nothing to do with how desirable I am.

Timshel_

I like women.

That is all.

kaylaandthestarcatcher

It is nice to feel desired but no, it doesn't make me a better wife, mother, or house keeper. Also, how do I know I'm desired or if he's just horney?

worst ever. So what if he's "just horny?". You kinda married him - dint cha? If he's "just horny" - wouldn't you rather he nail you instead of someone else?

:noway:

Well, he kinda married her, too, so he should have enough respect and self control to not nail someone else, shouldn't he?

ZoeLifts

I wasn't imply that I wouldn't have sex with him if he was "just horny", I was wondering why I'd pin my self confidence and self worth on his desire of me, when his sex drive might have nothing to do with how desirable I am.

^QFT

littlepinkhearts

I like the original post although it did give my feminist tendencies a little twitch haha but I also believe that to be desired on every level to the very core of your being, is different then feeling desired in a strictly sexual way. Someone (partner) whom you have known and been through a lot with through the years, would be the perfect person to know you on every level and to feel truly desired by them is something very different and more fulfilling, then feeling sexually desired on it's own. Although both are amazing in their own right. I'm pretty sure men have a need to be desired also...

Fox_n_sox

'A woman who feels desired is many things:
She is less likely to reach frustration with
you
or the children
or the cat
or the dog.


It takes very little to make a woman feel desired.
It does not require
expensive jewelery
exotic flowers
pages of poems
romantic dates
or even dramatic words.
You can tell a woman you desire her
with nothing more than a look
a simple touch
a well placed word
and by listening to what she's saying
and then responding appropriately.


So when your wife or girlfriend asks you,
"Do you find me sexy?"
the answer should never be
a long pause
followed by a apologetic
"I just love you."

Lie to me
if you have to,
but tell me "yes"
and then watch
as my confidence continues
to bloom
and my heart stays open
even when the world
is throwing us curve balls.
Because sometimes,
a woman needs to know she is desired
or she'll start to believe
it is no longer true."

I narrowed it down to the 3 parts that say WTF! Do I believe ALL people need to feel desired. Yes. My ex said he cheated on me because I was pregnant and wasn't giving it up to him enough, meaning he wasn't being desired enough ( hence he is now the ex) But i will not take it out on my fricken KIDS! Or animals. If you take out how you are feeling on your children or animals. PLEASE SEEK MEDICAL HELP! And by taking it out on them, I am insinuating that you are going to yell at them more or make their punishments more harsh because of the higher levels of frustration due to your lack of being desired.

Secondly, Yes, women DO need jewelry, love poems, flowers, etc. Even if the flowers are hand picked from the side of the road. It shows you care. Do you know how far something out of the bubble gum machine goes? It's that silly love. Come on now.

And last, PLEASE do not lie to me, just because you think that is what I want to hear about being desired. You should not be lying to your spouse about her being desired if you are not desiring her. If that is the case, seek therapy because I bet if you are not desiring your SO you are desiring someone else.

Your welcome.

StaceyL76

So true. I have been struggling with this in my relationship as of late. There was a song I heard recently called Drunk on You. That song hits home with how I want my partner to feel about me.

I believe this may have to do with me more than my husband. It is not his fault. It just is what it is. Feeling like one is desired, feels good. However, if one is desired but doesn't feel they deserve it or believe they actually are desired...

Thanks for posting this.

StaceyL76

I think PEOPLE need to feel desired.

Sometimes one partner needs more picking up than the other and visa versa... It's a partnership in all aspects - even feeling desired. Not just focused on women OR men.

IMO

Indeed!

magerum

I like women.

That is all.

I like turtles.

Lupercalia

The "poem" makes me roll my eyes. Sorry, OP. :noway:

dmpizza

Speaking for all men;

MEN CANNOT READ MINDS !!!!!

If you want something, even approval, then ask for it.

This level of passivity works nowhere in human society.

It would be really really nice if Prince Charming automatically knew when Sleeping Beauty was waiting to be kissed. BUT LIFE AIN'T LIKE THAT.

meeper123

i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

fitfreakymom

I have learned to never rely on others to make you feel good, to a degree it is nice to feel desired but I hate it when other start fishing for compliments, one thing I hate is if someone asks if they are fat or if I find them sexy. These are not things that I ask other people and don't like it when they ask me.

Tennolina

I like the original post although it did give my feminist tendencies a little twitch haha but I also believe that to be desired on every level to the very core of your being, is different then feeling desired in a strictly sexual way. Someone (partner) whom you have known and been through a lot with through the years, would be the perfect person to know you on every level and to feel truly desired by them is something very different and more fulfilling, then feeling sexually desired on it's own. Although both are amazing in their own right. I'm pretty sure men have a need to be desired also...

Exactly! Not just physically desired....desired on all levels. You totally get it!

DalekBrittany

I think a lot of people are missing the very obvious part that this is directed to wives and mothers. Obviously, not all women want to be desired, and some women would much prefer expensive jewelry to the touch of her man, but I think this is more directed at the women who already feel that way. I can see where some people are coming from because it comes across as if women that do feel that way need it to be self-assured, and not because they want it.

For me, though I am unmarried and not yet a mother, my fiance and I have been in a relationship for quite a few years. Sometimes all I want is for him to put his hands on my hips when I'm doing dishes, or kiss me on the neck before he leaves for work, because sometimes, we all forget to do these seemingly insignificant things. Because I want these things from him does not make me weak. It does not mean I 'need' his approval. I know that I am beautiful whether he tells me so or not. But just like with everything else in life, people crave affirmation. When he does those things, it's a reassurance that he loves me from his very core, and it doesn't matter how my body looks.

And, for the love of God, if you are trying to get your point across intelligently, use proper grammar.

ETA: I do think that this goes both ways. It is not just women that need this affirmation. If you expect your significant other to do these things for you, you better be doing them for him. Just like my mom always used to tell me, if you expect him to treat you like a princess, you better treat him like a prince. Relationships are about equality and compassion and empathy, not one bowing down to the needs of the other, while the other doesn't put anything into it. You have to put in what you expect to get out.

MassiveDelta

I got about 3 lines in and all I could think about was

ninerbuff

Look into a man's eyes and say "BJ?"

You'll be desired.:laugh:

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

xXxHBICxXx

EVERYONE wants to feel wanted by someone, I don't care who you are or what age you are. No one looks at someone they're attracted to or in love with and says 'Man, I hope he/she finds me undesirable' So for all the trolls hating this I call Bull****, you just don't want to admit that a part of you (maybe small) wants be wanted! Very beautiful post, thanks for sharing!

DalekBrittany

The original post was pretty long and it's wayyyy too complicated for most guys, considering we're pretty simple. For me I follow the same rule now I did when I was five when it comes to showing a girl I like her. That is, call her bad names and pull her hair Works like a charm!!!

Ever the thoughtful gentleman, doctor.

StevLL

Wow, First OP great post! Also not just for women, but for all human beings who are willing to reach out to each other and love them just for being them. Some of the responses are unfortunately a sign of the lack of true care we have as a culture to remember there is a human condition we all need to respond to. We've deluded ourselves to believe we don't need others. Yes, we can be self sufficient but we are social beings and need that social care and concern. If we think of desire as only sexual it's sexist and shallow, but if your relationship is based on love (not lust) you'll love that person for who they are and want them to feel good whether supporting them as they find their own feel good, or because you lift them up with word and deed. It truly is a simple powerful post and probably more important for any relationship and any gender than any library full of self-help/relationship/self-esteem topics etc. Can you imagine how much more empowered our spouses, children, friends, co-workers would be if we tried to live by that post which really is just saying love each other and show that through words and actions. Pretty simple, so why hate on it?

Michelle2W

After 22 years of marriage and three kids, being desired by my husband is not a bad thing :-) if you don't know what I'm talking about, just keep living ;-)

Tennolina

After 22 years of marriage and three kids, being desired by my husband is not a bad thing :-) if you don't know what I'm talking about, just keep living ;-)

Amen.

snoopytwins

It's a poem...the subject and context is the key. Not the literal words, noting that it says the feeling of desirability "more likely" will affect the person. So...it's not that your whole worth is wrapped up in another...it's that the person compliments or even enhances what's already there. Sure you can nit pick the words individually...but poetry's sentiments are not to be truly understood in that manner.

ldrosophila

Better than the sexist crap that Cosmo and the like magazines print about keeping and pleasing a man. Now thats sexist trite. This is what men need to hear if you want her happy in the kitchen making you a sammich and popping out progeny then you better at least let her know you find her desirable.

ldrosophila

I like women.

That is all.

I like turtles.

reallifealien

i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

hbrittingham

i disagree with this sexist piece of crap. i have no desire to feel desired. i want certain people to hate me. thank u

Un true everyone needs to feel loved -.o

yes but the fact that the poem focuses SOLELY ON WOMEN makes it blatantly sexist. it makes women appear weak and vulnerable since we apparently need reminding that we deserve to be desired. it represents women as the needers of approval and men as the givers of approval. that, to me, only reinforces patriarchy.

I am so glad that I am an oblivious woman who never has desired to be a feminist. I much prefer to live in my own little world where I don't take offense to everything man.

curvykim78

Very nice!