Guys please explain..

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  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    You cannot reduce the male psyche to a set of stereotypical behaviors.
    QFT. I'm not saying the OP is guilty of this particular behavior, but very often when I see questions like this, the underlying thought process is one of "My gender (or gender identity) is nuanced, complex, and to individualized to be boiled down to a pat answer. The other gender, on the other hand, is EASY to understand because they're just silly [insert term for male or female child]."

    I understand that there will be no "pat" answer.
    I wasn't looking for one.
    Just feedback- which I'm getting plenty of.
    So, your answer is that men are complex and women are...
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    So, your answer is that men are complex and women are...

    Annoying.
    They ask too many questions...
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
    What response might that evoke?

    Okay, OP, who hurt you and/or got in a bar fight last night and has you piecing his broken *** back together right now?

    Negative.
    I was at work last night.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    Beer

    simple and honest
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
    What response might that evoke?

    It's still hard to say. In many cases, it will depend on the group. In some scenarios, giving each other sh**t is a way of testing each other out. Sometimes, depending on the nature of the group, the response will be to fire back in kind and it becomes a kind of mental / verbal sparring.

    For example, a nickname, which might be less than pleasant, can be a test of whether or not you can "hang tough". If you're not willing to endure some ribbing among the group, they don't expect you'll hang around when things become truly bad. Sometimes, it's a rite of passage because it means you've been around enough for them to have material to work with or to even bother thinking up a name. (In my case, I was christned "Peggy Sue" by a squadmate back in training in part due to my quite masculine, a 6'2", 220 lb bruiser physique. In response, I casually rested my elbow on top of his head to remind him who the "big dog" really was, kept the conversation going, and I let it roll off my back. Sure, the nickname stuck, but they knew I wasn't the type to go off and lose my cool, and it became an ironic nickname, not a derogatory one.)



    Now... if "the limit" has been breached and the line has been crossed, my experience is that it's basically settled then and there. This can be in two ways. One can be breaking away from the group / situation and that is it. The other is they will verbally or physically fight. I have not seen too many cases where the insulted individual retreats to carry on an ongoing "guerilla" campaign.


    I will admit, what follows is a bit of a biased view, but I think it shows some perspective: In High School, my male friends and I used to feel safe with our way of doing things. If we had a conflict, we settled it, verbally or physically everything was laid on the table. We'd have our fight, someone would win, someone would lose, or there'd be a stalemate, and that would be that. You won, lost, or tied almost as soon as the issue came up. But then we'd hear some of our female friends who *seemed* (remember, this is according to the view of a teenaged male) like they would stretch things out and scheme about how to get the offender back. We honestly didn't know how the girls managed to live through High School, not knowing if someone was carrying an active grudge with an intent for revenge.
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
    What response might that evoke?

    It's still hard to say. In many cases, it will depend on the group. In some scenarios, giving each other sh**t is a way of testing each other out. Sometimes, depending on the nature of the group, the response will be to fire back in kind and it becomes a kind of mental / verbal sparring.

    For example, a nickname, which might be less than pleasant, can be a test of whether or not you can "hang tough". If you're not willing to endure some ribbing among the group, they don't expect you'll hang around when things become truly bad. Sometimes, it's a rite of passage because it means you've been around enough for them to have material to work with or to even bother thinking up a name. (In my case, I was christned "Peggy Sue" by a squadmate back in training in part due to my quite masculine, a 6'2", 220 lb bruiser physique. In response, I casually rested my elbow on top of his head to remind him who the "big dog" really was, kept the conversation going, and I let it roll off my back. Sure, the nickname stuck, but they knew I wasn't the type to go off and lose my cool, and it became an ironic nickname, not a derogatory one.)



    Now... if "the limit" has been breached and the line has been crossed, my experience is that it's basically settled then and there. This can be in two ways. One can be breaking away from the group / situation and that is it. The other is they will verbally or physically fight. I have not seen too many cases where the insulted individual retreats to carry on an ongoing "guerilla" campaign.


    I will admit, what follows is a bit of a biased view, but I think it shows some perspective: In High School, my male friends and I used to feel safe with our way of doing things. If we had a conflict, we settled it, verbally or physically everything was laid on the table. We'd have our fight, someone would win, someone would lose, or there'd be a stalemate, and that would be that. You won, lost, or tied almost as soon as the issue came up. But then we'd hear some of our female friends who *seemed* (remember, this is according to the view of a teenaged male) like they would stretch things out and scheme about how to get the offender back. We honestly didn't know how the girls managed to live through High School, not knowing if someone was carrying an active grudge with an intent for revenge.

    Okay, I get the first part.

    If the "limit has been breached" and it comes to a verbal or physical confrontation, what is the end goal?
    To settle it? To win? Both?
    What about the guy who loses?
    No "guerilla" campaign from him, so how does he deal with it?

    I think your assessment of female high schoolers is accurate.
    She survives by finding like-minded friends who support and justify her feelings.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    What about the guy who loses?
    No "guerilla" campaign from him, so how does he deal with it?

    Deal with what? The issue is settled, it's in the past.
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
    What response might that evoke?

    Okay, OP, who hurt you and/or got in a bar fight last night and has you piecing his broken *** back together right now?

    Negative.
    I was at work last night.

    You were at work while he slept with your best friend?! What a horrible guy!
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
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    How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
    What response might that evoke?

    It's still hard to say. In many cases, it will depend on the group. In some scenarios, giving each other sh**t is a way of testing each other out. Sometimes, depending on the nature of the group, the response will be to fire back in kind and it becomes a kind of mental / verbal sparring.

    For example, a nickname, which might be less than pleasant, can be a test of whether or not you can "hang tough". If you're not willing to endure some ribbing among the group, they don't expect you'll hang around when things become truly bad. Sometimes, it's a rite of passage because it means you've been around enough for them to have material to work with or to even bother thinking up a name. (In my case, I was christned "Peggy Sue" by a squadmate back in training in part due to my quite masculine, a 6'2", 220 lb bruiser physique. In response, I casually rested my elbow on top of his head to remind him who the "big dog" really was, kept the conversation going, and I let it roll off my back. Sure, the nickname stuck, but they knew I wasn't the type to go off and lose my cool, and it became an ironic nickname, not a derogatory one.)



    Now... if "the limit" has been breached and the line has been crossed, my experience is that it's basically settled then and there. This can be in two ways. One can be breaking away from the group / situation and that is it. The other is they will verbally or physically fight. I have not seen too many cases where the insulted individual retreats to carry on an ongoing "guerilla" campaign.


    I will admit, what follows is a bit of a biased view, but I think it shows some perspective: In High School, my male friends and I used to feel safe with our way of doing things. If we had a conflict, we settled it, verbally or physically everything was laid on the table. We'd have our fight, someone would win, someone would lose, or there'd be a stalemate, and that would be that. You won, lost, or tied almost as soon as the issue came up. But then we'd hear some of our female friends who *seemed* (remember, this is according to the view of a teenaged male) like they would stretch things out and scheme about how to get the offender back. We honestly didn't know how the girls managed to live through High School, not knowing if someone was carrying an active grudge with an intent for revenge.


    Guy code members would NEVER use this many words.:wink:
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
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    *****any bros caught violating rule 1 of the bro code will have their bro card revoked immediately - no access to brotein, broscientology, no broceptions***** \m/

    ^^This^^
    you will be placed on immediate brobation until such time as your broformance can be signed off by your local brosician \m/

    my brosician just looked at my broficency reports. no broblem, I'm good to bro.
    well then, let the brodom and broraderie commence, as you are ready for to brodown and leave your hibronation \m/
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    *****any bros caught violating rule 1 of the bro code will have their bro card revoked immediately - no access to brotein, broscientology, no broceptions***** \m/

    ^^This^^
    you will be placed on immediate brobation until such time as your broformance can be signed off by your local brosician \m/

    my brosician just looked at my broficency reports. no broblem, I'm good to bro.
    well then, let the brodom and broraderie commence, as you are ready for to brodown and leave your hybronation \m/

    You guys are a hoot :happy:
  • danholden4006
    danholden4006 Posts: 66 Member
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    The answer is always 42.

    I think this is the only thing that makes sense on this board.
  • Tuffjourney
    Tuffjourney Posts: 971
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    I really saw the bro-code when my son played High School football. Even after he graduated, with those guys it still exist. It was actually quite cool. I really respected them for it. Of course, I am sure it is different as men grow older. But, its a good thing. Men sometimes need to be with men without women and women need to be women with out men. At least it works for me.:smile:
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    I really saw the bro-code when my son played High School football. Even after he graduated, with those guys it still exist. It was actually quite cool. I really respected them for it. Of course, I am sure it is different as men grow older. But, its a good thing. Men sometimes need to be with men without women and women need to be women with out men. At least it works for me.:smile:

    I went to an all girls high school, then went on to nursing school, and now work with mainly women so all of this is very interesting to me. :smile:
  • ccburn5
    ccburn5 Posts: 473 Member
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    Interesting question. I would say the "male code of conduct" runs different in different social gatherings, i.e. work friends, real life friends, long term friends, etc. and with in those gatherings, it depends on what you are doing. Example, a group of guys I work with act quite different when we are at work versus on the golf course when we can "cut loose". What ever the case may be, the oft mentioned "bro code" is alive and well for sure in what ever gathering you are in when you know each other. Kind of like the Vegas saying, what happens there stays there so to speak.

    Is that really that much different that the female code of conduct?

    Also, I can not say if this really has anything to do with what your real question was?? lol
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
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    You cannot reduce the male psyche to a set of stereotypical behaviors.
    QFT. I'm not saying the OP is guilty of this particular behavior, but very often when I see questions like this, the underlying thought process is one of "My gender (or gender identity) is nuanced, complex, and to individualized to be boiled down to a pat answer. The other gender, on the other hand, is EASY to understand because they're just silly [insert term for male or female child]."

    I understand that there will be no "pat" answer.
    I wasn't looking for one.
    Just feedback- which I'm getting plenty of.
    So, your answer is that men are complex and women are...
    My answer had nothing in it differentiating the complexity of one gender over another. What about it makes you believe otherwise?
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
    Options
    Interesting question. I would say the "male code of conduct" runs different in different social gatherings, i.e. work friends, real life friends, long term friends, etc. and with in those gatherings, it depends on what you are doing. Example, a group of guys I work with act quite different when we are at work versus on the golf course when we can "cut loose". What ever the case may be, the oft mentioned "bro code" is alive and well for sure in what ever gathering you are in when you know each other. Kind of like the Vegas saying, what happens there stays there so to speak.

    Is that really that much different that the female code of conduct?

    Also, I can not say if this really has anything to do with what your real question was?? lol

    Actually, your response leads me to another aspect of my question.
    What type of enviornment do you work in?
    I think that affects the dynamic as well.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    Okay, I get the first part.

    If the "limit has been breached" and it comes to a verbal or physical confrontation, what is the end goal?
    To settle it? To win? Both?
    What about the guy who loses?
    No "guerilla" campaign from him, so how does he deal with it?

    I think your assessment of female high schoolers is accurate.
    She survives by finding like-minded friends who support and justify her feelings.

    The goal is always to win. However, once the immediate fight is done, it's done. There's no going back to it. The loser is expected to man up, accept he lost that fight, and move on.

    Things can start over IF he's insulted again at a later time, and he is permitted to prepare to fight before that happens. So if he loses today, it is acceptable for him to go to the gym, take classes, or (for the foolhardy) watch YouTube videos before getting into another fight. But what has been settled is settled and it stays in the past.
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
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    [/quote]


    Guy code members would NEVER use this many words.:wink:
    [/quote]

    Yeah... I'm the son of 2 lawyers, so I can get wordy. That led to my role as the squad's storyteller / explainer. "Well, Major, the whole issue with Jones standing on top of the dorm in his underwear, covered in flour and singing the theme to Captaini Planet at 0200 hours really has a very logical explanation...."
  • Mustang_Susie
    Mustang_Susie Posts: 7,045 Member
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    Okay, I get the first part.

    If the "limit has been breached" and it comes to a verbal or physical confrontation, what is the end goal?
    To settle it? To win? Both?
    What about the guy who loses?
    No "guerilla" campaign from him, so how does he deal with it?

    I think your assessment of female high schoolers is accurate.
    She survives by finding like-minded friends who support and justify her feelings.

    The goal is always to win. However, once the immediate fight is done, it's done. There's no going back to it. The loser is expected to man up, accept he lost that fight, and move on.

    Things can start over IF he's insulted again at a later time, and he is permitted to prepare to fight before that happens. So if he loses today, it is acceptable for him to go to the gym, take classes, or (for the foolhardy) watch YouTube videos before getting into another fight. But what has been settled is settled and it stays in the past.

    Ah, so even how he loses is important.
    He can lose like a man or a sissy?

    So, why do little guys pick on big guys if they know the big guy can whip their butt?

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