My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(

wyattsmomvanessa

Why would you feel this has anything to do with you, or your weight?

This guy needs psychiatric help, this has nothing to do with you, sweetheart.

AlongCame_Molly

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

ETA: just noticed you said "ex". Sooooo, it DIDN'T work out for you. Thanks for proving my point. :flowerforyou:

TheWiseCat

I think I just suffered a brain aneurysm from reading this thread. To all of those who say you can't be 5'5 and 250 pounds in the military you are terribly wrong. I served 25 years and was a First Sergeant. I can tell you there were a significant number of people who were and are grossily overweight. Anywhere from 50 to 100 pounds. Most of them were/are in the weight management programs for the various services.

I can tell you specifically that I have personally been involved with several individuals who were 50-60 pounds over weight but could pass the PT tests and were allowed to remain in the service.

I do agree.
At 230 and fat as ****, I could run a mile in 5:30. I easily could have passed PT with another 20lb.

Cp731

Um....Yikes? and Yeah? Hmmmm..No other comment is necessary

Ramberta

Must... not... go on a rant... about people... being ignorant about online relationships...

Okay. I've regained control.

OP, honey, that is one hell of an awful night you went through. I am truly sorry you had to put up with that... especially the puking! Ugh.

But when it boils down to it, I have to agree with the people saying this is absolutely, 100% HIS problem. Whether he is suffering from some sort of mental disease doesn't really matter-- the point is that he's hurt you, tremendously, by proving beyond a shadow of a doubt that he is unwilling to give you a chance. You do NOT want to be with a man like this, online or IRL.

Please do yourself a favor and seek some counseling -- this sort of thing can mess you up if not addressed properly. Feel free to add me if you want to vent or talk about this further, because I have a lot of experience with online / long distance relationships. Also, as others have said, the weight loss is for YOU, not for anyone else. The moment you start promising someone else that you'll get thinner and "go to the gym and eat fruits and veggies every day" to stay with them is the moment you sacrifice your entire life for another person's benefit. And that is unfair to you! You do deserve better, like he said. You deserve someone who is going to love you no matter what weight you are.

cmcollins001

Wait - he's a soldier and he weighs 250+ at 5'5"? did anyone else stop there knowing this was all a BS story?

YES! THANK YOU. and the fact that he asked for wet wipes... What man asks for wet wipes?

I do after I eat oily chips. I can't be having my face breaking out. Girl, don't you go starting some ratchet business 'bout a man's ability to take care of his appearance!

Haha, fair enough but not even I ask for a wet wipe. I think a napkin would come first to my mind.

Oh man this story is so stupid. She cleaned him up and gave him water to drink. Where did this water come from? Did she just happen to be running with a bottle of water? Perhaps it was in her bag but she needed to get to her bag for these wet wipes he asked for.

Maybe I should make up fake stories so people can try make me feel better. /Sarcasm

You know what? You could have asked me first before judging me and calling this a fake story. If you think it is fake then you can stop answering on this thread. But you are here arguing with people. THE WATER CAME FROM THE RESTAURANT BECAUSE HE THREW UP OUTSIDE THE RESTAURANT.

I included the "wet wipes" part because I also thought it was his way to get rid of me. That if I went back inside the resto to get it, he could escape from me. Which exactly what happened. And why exactly I chased him. Because I was wondering. And until now I am wondering and that is why I AM HERE ASKING FOR NICE HELPFUL PEOPLE'S OPINION and not from judgemental people like you. If you think this story is made up then please feel free to leave. Don't waste your time arguing with people over some story you think is FAKE.

Thanks.

TheWiseCat

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

I'll be your one exception. I'll warm your heart with my binary fingers

butterfli7o

Ok...so.

You had a year long relationship with someone you had never met IRL.
You totally invested yourself in this person that you didn't truly know.
You wanted to continue to invest even though he's married with no intents (for whatever the reason) to divorce.
Your first meeting the two of you plan on getting sloppy drunk. And you do.
Everything falls to pieces and he has a meltdown.

Fact:
He is a whack job and like others have said - now you know and you're better off knowing.

I am going to say this in the nicest way possible....you need to work on YOU. Forget about him, let it all go, and chalk the whole thing up as tuition payment for the school of life. Work on your confidence and self esteem and don't put yourself in a situation like that ever again.

Completely agree with all this.

turboturtlepower

I sense a fake story.

However, he's in the Army? I don't believe he was that heavy...but the Navy? Go to any Navy town...they're full of fat sailors. ESPECIALLY the female ones. You can't say fat service members don't exist...other branches are just more tolerable than others.

Ramberta

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

ladymiseryali

It is a fake story. No way your bf was in the military being that heavy end of story

I dated someone who was overweight and in the army. I know he was because he had the uniforms, worked at the VA and he was stationed at West Point. I spent a few nights in his dorm. It is possible to be overweight in the army. Just because you've never seen an overweight soldier, doesn't mean they don't exist. PLUS, there are different jobs that those in the army work, and some are desk jobs.

Ramberta

All you people saying this story is fake deserve a good, hearty slap in the face.

That is all.

Hellbent_Heidi

His email on April 23:

Im sorry for calling security but u should have really let me go and deal with this on my own. The fact u were chasing me scared me as any man. I never been chased like that before.
Stop saying u will not recover. There is only one choice in life and that is to go up and stop bringing yourself down. I don't want to date seriously for awhile. I will just wait for a sign thats its time. I will prob go to boracay r bohol to just do homework an hang out at the beach.
Good luck and get stronger. Stop looking for Mr. Perfect, cause u really asked alot of me. Just FYI. And keep going ot the gym. Im actually gonna try to lose weight myself cause now i have all these mirrors in the hotel and I dont like being this big. Hard to even find a pair of shorts my size.
We can keep in email contact and stuff.



That was his email which I didn't answer. So he sent this at like 3 in the morning the next day:

hey, i hope u are ok.Not sure how to deal with this.Gonna leave here soon. maybe bora or go on a mini tour. just hope u are ok

1. you came on WAY too strong with someone you'd never met in person before

2. he's just NOT into you...for whatever reason.

3. he's married to someone else anyway

/game over
move on with your life ...you probably never really 'knew' this guy anyway...only the online/skype persona he wanted to portray.

jellypuffofdoom

Just gonna say that it totally isn't you and your weight. Soldiers tend to have some issues. Don't waste your time chasing after someone that acts like that. Focus on you! I know it is hard, but I know you can do it ^_^ Keep your head up!

TheWiseCat

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Edited to add: I hate cops.

TheWiseCat

All you people saying this story is fake deserve a good, hearty slap in the face.

That is all.

I think this is a fake reply.

Aleta7

He did not reject you because of your weight. He is just plain nuts. You are lucky to get away from him. This guy sounds like an emotional abuser. Stay away from him. Anyway, My two cents worth.

Ramberta

All you people saying this story is fake deserve a good, hearty slap in the face.

That is all.

I think this is a fake reply.

/pinches cheek

You're adorable.

ladymiseryali

All you people saying this story is fake deserve a good, hearty slap in the face.

That is all.

THIS. There are people who make up stories for sympathy, but I don't think this is one of them. It sounds like someone who got drunk, freaked out, which happens, and things just fell apart. It happens to the best of us. I had a boyfriend drink half a bottle of Jack Daniels and when that Jack hit him, he started crying and wanting to off himself.

turboturtlepower

The problem I have is with the word "Online".

Stick to REAL men in the REAL world.

People are real online, too. I was with my ex for three years, and only a few months of that was "in real life". That doesn't mean our relationship was invalid, nor is anyone else's.

Just because you jumped out of an airplane sans chute and lived to tell the tale doesn't make it a great idea for everyone else to try. I'm happy it worked out for you, but really in most cases, more trouble than good comes from internet dating.

Uh huh. Riiiiight. Because dating a person online is akin to an experience that should result in death?

Yes, you're right, you must be totally 100% the authority on this! :noway:

People are people. The only thing that changes online is the method of communication. You are JUST as likely to meet a serial killer out at the bar, or some other random "real" place, than online. So please take your ignorant cynicism elsewhere.

My brother married a girl off the internet. She tried to attack him, got arrested for assault and their divorce is pending.
My dad married a girl off the internet. She emptied our house and bank accounts 1 year in.
My dad got married again off the internet, she and a cop tried to frame him in an attempt to get him arrested and take over all his assets. Cop was fired and they are now divorced.

Internet dating IS akin to death.

Not all of them. Just because you know a few people out of the thoasands (?) who have had successful internet relationships.

I myself met my husband here on myfitnesspal while I was going through a painful divorce, moved across the country to be with him and we've been happily married for 13 months. Not a long time, but we appreciate what we have and HAVE a great relationship/marriage...nor are we crazy.