Husband's attitude

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MIM49
MIM49 Posts: 255 Member
in Motivation and Support
Husband wants to meet my daughter and her SO at Pizza Hut for dinner. The pizza he wants (the Crazy cheesy crust pepperoni pizza) is 390 cals/slice. To me--not worth the cals for the amount of food. Frankly, I will still be hungry. So I asked if we could stop at Subway on the way and I would get a chicken salad--150 cals for a filling meal. Pizza Hut will not care if I bring a salad--if they even noticed. I do not mind not eating pizza. He threw a fit. Said I don't need to diet all the time and can eat a pizza--it won't hurt me. No, it won't hurt me--but I will feel more deprived with 1 piece when I would want 2 or 3. I have lost a lot of weight--not as fast as I would like because we do eat out a lot but I try to pick a healthy calorie conscious meal when we do eat out. I still have 75 pounds to go but more important to me I want to lose 4 pounds to get out of the 200's. I absolutely cannot remember the last time I weighed under 200 pounds. This is so important to me. So now he says if I can't eat pizza he is going to cancel and we will just stay home. Laying on the guilt. And now being overall nasty. Also said "why don't you just do an hour exercise and burn some extra calories so you can enjoy pizza." If I am going to do that I want the extra calories burned to go toward the 4 pounds I want off. Pizza is just so not worth it to me. Am I being selfish?
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Replies

  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I'm not sure why he sounds so angry about it. Have you considered just getting a side salad from pizza hut and eating it with one slice of pizza. That will help you fill up better, and everyone can enjoy their meal.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
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    He sounds unsupportive. He needs an attitude check. He needs to realize that you actually care so much about your health and want to be the best version of you, you wish to be. (and spouses tend to be the immediate beneficiaries of a much sleeker mate *rawr*)

    He's got a mental malfunction.

    I don't get him.

    My lady is getting in shape with me. We support each other. Cook the meals we need, do the exercises that benefit us both. (we switched from one to another, because it was too hard on her knees) When she needs a hand, I am there. When she is a weak, I am strong. And visa-versa. And that's what he should be for you. That's a real spouse, a husband. Tell him I SAID SO.
  • MIM49
    MIM49 Posts: 255 Member
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    I'm not sure why he sounds so angry about it. Have you considered just getting a side salad from pizza hut and eating it with one slice of pizza. That will help you fill up better, and everyone can enjoy their meal.

    That will work if this Pizza Hut has salads. We live in the boonies and I don't see one listed on their website which is why I just thought to bring one. I will call and check. I wish I understood his attitude, however. If I don't mind NOT eating it, why should he care?
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
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    First of all: congratz on the amazing weight loss!! Such a great accomplishment.

    I don't know what your history is, what you have been like the past months losing all the weight. Did you lose weight without a single "cheat" meal?

    Maybe he is upset that he can no longer enjoy certain foods you used to enjoy together? Maybe he is frustrated that you can't just have a quick, nice lunch with the family without having to pay attention to calories all the time. I would understand that if that is the case. I would go crazy if my SO would constantly be talking/counting calories and we couldn't just go for a quick bite or enjoy some Micky D's or Chinese without me thinking about how many calories I'll be consuming.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    I'm not sure why he sounds so angry about it. Have you considered just getting a side salad from pizza hut and eating it with one slice of pizza. That will help you fill up better, and everyone can enjoy their meal.

    That will work if this Pizza Hut has salads. We live in the boonies and I don't see one listed on their website which is why I just thought to bring one. I will call and check. I wish I understood his attitude, however. If I don't mind NOT eating it, why should he care?

    Is he usually this irrational about your diet, or is this out of character for him? Maybe it's his time of the month?
  • cavia
    cavia Posts: 457 Member
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    You are not being selfish! I can't have just one slice of pizza. Heck, if I had one slice, I would end up eating the whole pie at one sitting!

    Is your husband feeling threatened by your weight loss? Has he always been this unsupportive of your journey to a healthier you or just recently?
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
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    dude needs to chill

    Tell him if he can't behave like a grown up, you'll go to dinner with your daughter and her SO without his *kitten*.
  • mshendo0
    mshendo0 Posts: 12
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    Hell no!!!!!!! Your not being selfish.first of all do you mind if I ask what kinda shape is he in?????? I think that you have a right to put in your body what you want and I think he should be damn proud of you that you are trying to make healthier food choices, do not give in to his tantrums.... I repeat..DO NOT GIVE IN TO HIS TANTRUMS,,!!!!!!!!!! Stand your ground and if you need to ask your daughter to stop at subway on their way to Pizza Hut and pick up the sandwich of your choice.. Don't let hubby bully you...if he wants to cancel the outing because of this then maybe he should be the one not going and you go out with your dsughter.???????????? let us.know the outcome of this.......alicia
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    Say no.
    Say "I don't eat that anymore."
    No.
    NO.
    NO.

    For comparison, what if you were a vegan or a vegetarian and the dinner included meat? You would just say "No, I don't eat that."
    Do the same thing here.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Personally, I think it's rude and tacky to bring food you have purchased elsewhere into a restaurant. Maybe that's why he's upset. Maybe he thinks it is poor etiquette.
  • mshendo0
    mshendo0 Posts: 12
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    Amen....did you read what I told her???
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    just go out and enjoy yourself and get back on track tomorrow, a couple of slices of pizza is not going to kill you and I do believe that pizza hut does have a lighter menu and not all will be on line.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
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    No, he's being a d***head.

    Unless you care about weight loss, about bodyfat, you're GOING to have that additude, and he obviously doesn't care about controlling calories.

    I feel the same way about high powered foods. Bread with fat and fatty protein on top? why don't I just down a can of reddi whip and top it off with some fried carbs, just so I can get EXTRA bloated.

    One slice of that stuff equals an entire MEAL for me in calories. I would have to eat 2 or 3 to feel full though.. which is an entire day's worth of calories in one meal.

    He should respect you enough to allow you to choose, to support you, *kitten* he should be encouraging you become healthier!!! We all do!

    If you don't want it, don't eat it. Isn't that one of the ways we all got here in the first place?
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    You aren't being selfish at all. And yes he needs to grow up. You aren't asking him to be part of your eating changes, you aren't even really asking for his support.

    Do as you wish, and let him know if he continues to throw tantrums dinners out will be at the salad all you can eat from now on.
    See if he tries to smuggle pizza in there.
  • sarski77
    sarski77 Posts: 79
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    You'd perhaps be a little selfish if you were not going out to eat with him or forcing him to stick to what you prefer to eat.

    Your plan sounds totally reasonable and I think you should talk to him as he's supposed to be supportive, not kick up a fuss for no reason.

    Could it be that perhaps he thinks you're getting too thin or he's secretly worried you're losing too much? Just an idea...
  • mshendo0
    mshendo0 Posts: 12
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    I don't think that's what he thinks...he doesn't seem that smart to even think like that
  • jus_in_bello
    jus_in_bello Posts: 326 Member
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    dude needs to chill

    Tell him if he can't behave like a grown up, you'll go to dinner with your daughter and her SO without his *kitten*.

    This. He's being a brat. Tell him he can stay home if you eating a salad is so offensive.
  • anitadanafit
    anitadanafit Posts: 38 Member
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    My husband used to have a similar attitude when I declined to eat what he was eating. He finally explained that he felt guilty eating foods that he knows that I really like in front of me. Then the guilty feelings ruined his enjoyment of the food too. He knew he shouldn't blame me for ruining his fun, but sometimes he just couldn't help himself.

    Now I let him know how excited I am about whatever food I am going to eat so he can eat his meal guilt free.
  • XXXMinnieXXX
    XXXMinnieXXX Posts: 3,459 Member
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    Your Note being selfish or unreasonable at all! They do usually have salads so may you can get one there? Frankly I'd tell him with thatattitude iI'd rather not go out with you, so we will cancel it then. He can learn from that if he wishes. I'm. Currently. 208lbs and so excited for Onederland too. Sounds like he's getting very insecure which is never pretty.

    For the above poster, I don't agree with what you said. I'd love to have a partner that. Took care of themselves. Cannot understand the mentality of someone getting mad about that. Your not stopping him eating the pizza, his issue is clearly you not eating it. For me there's got to be issues on his behalf.

    Maybe you need to talk with him and tell him that you'd appreciate him being more supportive, t ll him how much it means to you and also massage his ego a little and tell him how much you love him. If he doesn't respond to that we'll I'd just refuse to go out and eat with him to be honest!

    Zara
  • Lupercalia
    Lupercalia Posts: 1,857 Member
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    Maybe he is frustrated that you can't just have a quick, nice lunch with the family without having to pay attention to calories all the time. I would understand that if that is the case. I would go crazy if my SO would constantly be talking/counting calories and we couldn't just go for a quick bite or enjoy some Micky D's or Chinese without me thinking about how many calories I'll be consuming.

    ^^This was my initial thought--he's annoyed that you can't just go to the pizza place without being concerned with calorie counting, diet, etc.

    I think eating a slice of the pizza and having a salad is a good compromise. I don't like to be the weirdo at a social gathering not eating, or bringing food from outside. Sometimes I have to, but if it's possible to NOT do that, I'd much rather just go with the flow. See if you can work something out. Perhaps there's some better choice as far as the pizzas are concerned? I don't know. I'd just try to figure a way to make it work for you and for the husband, so your diet isn't the focus of the evening.

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