Husband's attitude

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  • karenc118
    karenc118 Posts: 78 Member
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    I'd be so annoyed with him I wouldnt order ANYTHING just for spite and make him REALLY mad ha ha
  • Midori_i
    Midori_i Posts: 91 Member
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    Is he overweight too? Is he maybe afraid you might get thin and fit while he doesn't and is afraid you'll start seeing him as a loser? Or is he afraid he might lose you once you become so skinny and attractive and confident that other guys go after you - or you might become "too good" for him?

    Whatever his reasons... He's being selfish and unsupportive. Don't let that derail you. Stick to your goals!!
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
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    You need to "learn" to eat at these places, you could have had a salad.
    The feeling of eating properly when the you want to indulge is a wonderful
    feeling.
    This journey has to be about you and no one else.
    :)
  • peggysue218
    peggysue218 Posts: 126 Member
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    Um, get your *kitten* together, eat a piece of pizza, and be hungry for the night. You're being a drama queen and your husband is being reasonable. I don't see the dilemma here.
  • LauraLucia524
    LauraLucia524 Posts: 1 Member
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    It sounds like there's another issue going on here. Maybe talk it out and get to the bottom of it?
    From your side of the story, you're not being selfish at all. You have goals, and they are important to you. I really think your husband should respect that honestly. I feel that losing weight is more about changing mentality than it is anything else, and it seems like you have a different mindset than him when it comes to eating out.
    When I started cleaning my diet, I started noticing right way that I craved unhealthy food less and less. This doesn't mean that I'm obsessed with my diet, it means that I've started enjoy eating healthy, and making healthy choices has become part of who I am. I'll still enjoy something unhealthy every once in a while, but my standards for quality "cheat meals" have gone up. Like you, I feel they have to be worth it, and they can't be something I feel bad for eating. I also appreciate the people who want to share a meal with me, but are conscious of my goals and habits.

    You have a great mindset because you're already making plans to avoid a situation anyone who wants to lose weight wouldn't want to be in, without making it inconvenient for anyone else.
  • PaytraB
    PaytraB Posts: 2,360 Member
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    Maybe he is upset that he can no longer enjoy certain foods you used to enjoy together? Maybe he is frustrated that you can't just have a quick, nice lunch with the family without having to pay attention to calories all the time. I would understand that if that is the case. I would go crazy if my SO would constantly be talking/counting calories and we couldn't just go for a quick bite or enjoy some Micky D's or Chinese without me thinking about how many calories I'll be consuming.

    Congratulations on your weight loss journey. You've nailed this and will continue to your goal weight.

    I think that perhaps the above comment is true. Perhaps your husband just wants to enjoy a family night together without diets and restrictions. Just a fun time for everyone, including yourself.
    Sometimes its important to look at the big picture. Would 2-3 slices of high-cal pizza ruin your weight loss week, if you planned some extra fitness into the upcoming week? Could you still lose these 4 important pounds and enjoy a guilt-free evening with family? You've come a long way and learned a lot about control and food. You can balance this evening into your goals.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
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    I'd be so annoyed with him I wouldnt order ANYTHING just for spite and make him REALLY mad ha ha

    That would just ruin it for everybody though. pizza hut has more than just pizza, I am sure she can find something. To the OP you could eat before you go and just have a side dish when you get there.
  • ClementineGeorg
    ClementineGeorg Posts: 505 Member
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    I won't say any thing about selfisnesh.

    But the truth is that in a family, a decision must be made with all the members involved, to their benefit.
    So when a place to go out is chosen, it must be convenient for all parts.

    Your choices should be respected. As well as if your daugther boyfriend was vegetarian or vegan, the 4 of you should choose a place where he could find what to eat. You don't live in the middle of nowhere, there are plenty of classy or casual restaurant to eat.

    There are 4 people going out, not only you and your husband. You 4, not only one person, should have picked the best place for everyone.


    On another tone, as far as I know, Pizza Hut also has salads. You could just take one without the dressing. In my country for example there is a choice of green salad, one salad with veggies and feta cheese and another one is Caesar salad.
  • jofjltncb6
    jofjltncb6 Posts: 34,415 Member
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    Um, get your *kitten* together, eat a piece of pizza, and be hungry for the night. You're being a drama queen and your husband is being reasonable. I don't see the dilemma here.

    This was kind of my thought too...except I decided against posting it myself...and probably would have worded it differently.

    And why will you be hungry later if you eat pizza? Isn't hunger primarily a response to inadequate calories? And if the pizza gives you the calories you need, then you won't be hungry, right? (Or even if you are, you won't need to eat because your calorie needs will have been met.)
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    Husband wants to meet my daughter and her SO at Pizza Hut for dinner. The pizza he wants (the Crazy cheesy crust pepperoni pizza) is 390 cals/slice. To me--not worth the cals for the amount of food. Frankly, I will still be hungry. So I asked if we could stop at Subway on the way and I would get a chicken salad--150 cals for a filling meal. Pizza Hut will not care if I bring a salad--if they even noticed. I do not mind not eating pizza. He threw a fit. Said I don't need to diet all the time and can eat a pizza--it won't hurt me. No, it won't hurt me--but I will feel more deprived with 1 piece when I would want 2 or 3. I have lost a lot of weight--not as fast as I would like because we do eat out a lot but I try to pick a healthy calorie conscious meal when we do eat out. I still have 75 pounds to go but more important to me I want to lose 4 pounds to get out of the 200's. I absolutely cannot remember the last time I weighed under 200 pounds. This is so important to me. So now he says if I can't eat pizza he is going to cancel and we will just stay home. Laying on the guilt. And now being overall nasty. Also said "why don't you just do an hour exercise and burn some extra calories so you can enjoy pizza." If I am going to do that I want the extra calories burned to go toward the 4 pounds I want off. Pizza is just so not worth it to me. Am I being selfish?

    One more comment. Your husband is acting like a tyrant. Why would he threaten to cancel dinner if you don't eat pizza? It's really none of his business what you eat. Stick to your guns. You've lost 106 pounds, have a lot to go, and are a food addict trying to get your life back. Call the Pizza Hut and find out if there is anything healthy you can eat -- if not, eat at home, go there, and have an iced tea while everybody else eats.

    To make another comparison, I quit smoking years ago, which was a grueling experience because I loved cigarettes. I knew I was an addict and for 6 months wouldn't go around anybody or anyplace where I would smell smoke. You are the addict here, taking your life back. Never forget that. If you feel you can't handle eating pizza, don't be bullied into it.
  • EvilFeevil
    EvilFeevil Posts: 95 Member
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    Short answer: No, you're not being selfish.

    Long answer: He doesn't need to throw a hissy fit about it; spouses should be supportive. You're not being selfish but if it were me I would just compromise and find something on the menu that I could eat (before he argued; I'm not sure what my attitude would be after he complained, ha ha!). It takes 3,500 calories to make a pound and even if you go over your daily calories a little one day it won't make you gain.

    I had to go out to eat with my hubby and my stepson to meet his new girlfriend's parents a week ago and didn't know about it until the last minute, plus they picked the place, which was Five Guys (burgers!!). I had no choice but to go and because I didn't know about it ahead of time I couldn't plan my eating throughout the day around that meal so I just said to heck with it, I've never eaten there, I'm going to enjoy the smallest burger they have and go over my calories for one night (and it was a delicious burger!). No big deal.

    I've even read that occasionally going over your calories (no more than once a week) can actually speed up your metabolism but I wouldn't plan my life around any "cheat days", I just wouldn't stress out too much about them. Also, I find if I go over a day or two a little bit as long as my net calories for the week hit the goal number, then I'm still within my plan.

    Good luck and I hope your husband drops his attitude; it can't help you to have someone going against your healthy eating plan. You're probably already craving stuff and having someone be pushy about it is counter-productive.
  • BusyRaeNOTBusty
    BusyRaeNOTBusty Posts: 7,166 Member
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    His annoyance at your diet is somewhat understandable. However his attempts to force you to do things his way is unacceptable
  • Lovlilyn
    Lovlilyn Posts: 79 Member
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    Say no.
    Say "I don't eat that anymore."
    No.
    NO.
    NO.

    For comparison, what if you were a vegan or a vegetarian and the dinner included meat? You would just say "No, I don't eat that."
    Do the same thing here.

    Yeah, but if she were a vegetarian, she could get vegetable pizza - it's not what she's eating (or not eating), but where, etc.

    I don't think you are being selfish. I maybe would have checked out the salad situation first - I thought all Pizza Huts offered salad, some of them a really nice salad bar. I would agree with others that it sounds like something beyond the pizza is going on here, and maybe after everyone has had their fill of pizza, you can address it :-)
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
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    Asking for relationship advice on the interwebs?

    Talk to your husband and work it out. You're both adults and married to each other.
  • katietigar
    katietigar Posts: 9
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    Pizza Hut is an opportunity to eat some fat and salt loaded with some fat and salt and more fat and salt with a little sugar probably thrown in. I think a bigger question might be, "In a world of overeating and engineered foods why shouldn't the family all make a choice to meet somewhere healthier? Send a message to each other that family time is healthy. Why not all go to Subway where he can get an Italian Meatball Sub with extra extra cheese if that is what he chooses? And if that is what he chooses then let it be.

    I am of the if I eat one slice I will eat another and the next day I will eat a box of cookies variety, so that option does not exist for me. If it exists for you - great, but if it doesn't it is hard to have a partner question why not just this once. If you were a recovering alcoholic would he want to meet the family at a bar and tell you that you could just have one drink?
  • monizjm
    monizjm Posts: 92 Member
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    He sounds like my boyfriend. They MUST be related. Maybe he's like mine...can't handle inconveniences. Yes us being on a diet is a HUGE inconvenience for the unsupportive. Tell him to shove it up his (beep) and you do what is BEST for you. Don't let him hold you back/down. Just saying.
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
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    I can understand both points of view. Like you said, you don't remember the last time you were under two hundred pounds. I can so agree with you on that! I'm in the same situation. He probably just wants you to eat the same thing they're going to and enjoy it. I'm sure he means well by it. Overall, the decision is up to you, and if you want a salad, make him understand that.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
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    Mine has that sort of additude at times but he can eat anything and not gain an ounce while i cant do that he doesnt get the reasoning behind why these things are a bad idea. I will be done eating for the day then he orders a pizza and beer and gets mad when i dont want either lol
  • DancingDreams1234
    DancingDreams1234 Posts: 165
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    NO, YOU ARE NOT BEING SELFISH. You have lost 100 pounds, 100 flippin pounds! THAT'S DEDICATED MA'AM. You want this, you want to get healthier right? Your husband should be supportive of you, and not freak out if refuse to eat pizza. You know what, I don't know what to say, just no you are not being selfish, and two you don't lget discouraged. Also have a talk with your husband.
  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    It is pretty tacky to bring in food from another restaurant from another. They can kick you out for doing that. Pizza Hut has some salad options. One meal off your plan won't hurt you. It could even help if you have been really strict for a long time. One meal isn't the end of the world. Is it really worth it to alienate your family over a piece of pizza?

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