Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

mshafer1230

So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
"Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?

Alatariel75

I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.

LuHox

Great idea for a thread. I've often felt the need for some of those...

Unfortunately I can't think of anything. I just want to come back and read others ideas

Therealobi1

i do not think you need to bother. just smile and nod till they get tired. well done for eating your veggies.

wisdombabies

I admit I have no witty responses to offer. However, I am fascinated that your relative said she could "see roots" on brussels sprouts. Clearly she has never seen them growing - they grow off of a stalk, "roots" are an impossibility. Take your relative to a farm for goodness sake, maybe she would appreciate her veggies more.

squatsandlipgloss

I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.

LOL I do this too. I find it to be a bit rude, but then again, it is my response to rude people.

Minerva624

I usually just give them a stupid look with an irrelevant remark in a derpy tone.

JessHealthKick

I tend to respond with;

"I just like to respect my body, and eating well and exercising regularly gives me more energy, better skin and in fact tastes a lot better than all the processed junk these days. Shall we compare our health when we're both in our 50s?"

I also get crap from people all the time because I have pale skin and always stay out of the sun - again the "comparing at 50" seems to shut them up

They will try to catch you out when you have a treat like chocolate or something, but you know what, they feel guilty about not respecting their bodies and it does the job in my opinion.

Hollander001

Just reply by saying, well those roots look better than your toenails you might want to consider eating these instead. You can always say I just eat veggies because I love myself it's time for you to look in the mirror and see what I see.

Railr0aderTony

Results speak for themselves, Nobody says nothing about what I eat, normally they are just curious.

Codename_Duchess

Something I read from Dave Zinczenko was that everybody "diets." It's not something you go on, it's what you eat, whatever you're eating, & if you look up the definition for diet, you'll find that he's right. So I always used to joke that I never diet because it has the word "die" in it, until my coworker said, "But at least when I die, I'd have a smaller coffin." She didn't mean it maliciously & I didn't take it that way, but it did get me wondering & it'd still be years before I started to change my, har har, diet.

As far as witty responses go, haters gonna hate. I'm finding agreeing that it's not your usual greasy fare & asking if they'd like a bit is better for my mind & spirit. You still keep your positivity & they go away (usually) feeling like an *kitten*. ^_^

SteelySunshine

My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.

JJordon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C13KWHYcW2c

That.

ghhosstt

hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

Alatariel75

Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"

AnDiallo

hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

I let out an audible 'ooooohh'.
This right here is a good one lol

myofibril

"If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds

thecakelocker

I used to be mocked for eating vegetables by someone that ate literally nothing but red hot cheetos and fruitopia. It was too hilarious to be irritating.

SenseiCole

"broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

nikilis

"If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds

if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

Alatariel75

"If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds

if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

mareeee1234

Bump!!

Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

ideas..? haha

nikilis

"If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds

if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

hahaha

I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

lady_in_weighting

hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

LOVE IT

mareeee1234

Actually.. when I'm at my goal with rockinn abs, and am all lean and strong... THEN i'll be like.. "check out my bod. nuff said"

hahaha

Shadowknight137

So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.

I would just stare at them for a good few seconds, contemplating what exactly gave them the urge to say something so utterly random and stupid before shrugging and returning to my meal.

Actually, I do that a lot. Happens when you eat organ meats, funnily enough.

nikilis

Bump!!

Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

ideas..? haha

the stern approach



problem solved.

nikilis

So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.

I would just stare at them for a good few seconds, contemplating what exactly gave them the urge to say something so utterly random and stupid before shrugging and returning to my meal.

Actually, I do that a lot. Happens when you eat organ meats, funnily enough.

this is a good answer. its like nom nom nom "DA *kitten*" nom nom nom - well played good sir

this works in all situations.


ooor, if they have health problems, go for the low blow and bring it up

'yeh.. haha... good one... so hows your cholesterol these days? awesome

RitaSantoss

I'm losing weight. You're not.

nikilis

I'm losing weight. You're not.

throw b!tch in there and you have a winner.

myofibril

How's your See Food diet working out for you? Seriously, when you see food you need to stop...