Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

trixiemou

You could just say once they have finished their rant '' And your point is? ' '

I did once say to a co-worker who always had some comment to make....Look, I like this 'crap' and I would appreciate it if you could just give it a rest.

Mind you, I do have a certain dislike of brussel sprouts haha.

SamanthaClarexo

hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

OOOOOH.

sammniamii

Well, the last person who did this was a friend, so when they made a face at my brussel sprouts - I tackled them and pinched shut their nose. When they opened their mouth, I shoved a sprout in there then covered their mouth. They ate it and I got off them.... and now they ask when I am gonna make them again.

BUT... this can only really work w/ friends & family, complete strangers MAY take OFFENCE at being tackled and force-fed sprouts, so I can't really recommend this to others. :bigsmile:

myofibril

Awwww, you have a face like a flower - a cauliflower that is...

Personally, I think a well timed insult goes a long way.

IronSmasher

I don't care about haters.

I'm too busy being awesome.

rabies

Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

Macbobbins

"I like food that gives me energy and good moods, not complete junk that's going to give me bad skin and a fat *kitten*!"

ilovedeadlifts

Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

this.
I personally just do the following when someone says something stupid

kss1231

"broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

Love this one!

kenj13

So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
"Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

"What? Roots, you say!? Thank God you warned me, and stopped me from eating something that was nutritious. Who knows what would have happen if I ATE vegetables. Why, I might become healthy and possibly lose....*gasp* weight!!! Parish the thought!!!"

THIS would be my response, but then again, I'm a smart-*kitten*!

pkw58

My favorite is "yes, i have plenty of my share of healthy foods left---i already used up my share of ...(whatever people are wanting me to share ..cake, bread,fries, etc)

TorrizzleWillSizzle

My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.

I'm sorry you have diabetes but holy crap this response literally made me LOL I might use it and I don't even have diabetes! Again Im not laughing at the diabetes itself at all but I would love to see this response in action because the other person would be dumbfounded

mattschwartz01

I think the best response is none at all. Isn't the entire point of the directed hate to get a rise out of you? Give them neither the time of day nor the satisfaction and they go away.

sueclare38

Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!

RllyGudTweetr

"Yup. Want some?"

*wait for response to the negative*

"Then, why does it matter to you WHATSOEVER? Did brussel sprouts do mean things to you when you were a child, or is it just that you're STILL a child?"

WillowWindow

If you sing , you could try an over the top chorus of "Veggie Love" to the tune of "Baby Love", all the while dancing around and kissing your brussels sprouts. MIGHT make them laugh, definitely will drown them out and you can get some exercise at the same time.


Veggie Love, Oh my Veggie Love
How I need you, oh how I need you
'Cause I been missing ya, and I miss kissin ya
Instead of breaking up
Let's do some kissing and making up
Don't throw our love away
In my arms why don't you stay
Need ya, need ya
veggie love, ooh, veggie love

Jerrypeoples

i think people tend to forget we have our own little built in ignore feature

the worse thing you can ever do, in the real world or internet is to give someone the attention they crave

lcvaughn520

Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"

Haha yes this is a good one!

ghhosstt

Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

it is true that they only really work on sitcoms and in battle-raps but I couldn't resist the chip joke. In real life I would most likely just give them a pitying look and then ignore them. If they are trying to belittle you for eating healthy they've already made themselves look dumb enough.

LokiOfAsgard

I feel like this would be something I'd say.
but with Brussel sprouts, not Broccoli



ETA: OH and if they dye their hair would could say "Speaking of roots, I see yours"

billsica

I would have responded with. "Oh I don't think your roots show that bad, oh wait that's just a grey hair on your head. "

mareeee1234

Bump!!

Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

ideas..? haha

the stern approach



problem solved.

haaaha thaanks!

plantboy2

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

Alatariel75

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

SamanthaClarexo

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:

plantboy2

"Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:

I just had to look up pro-ana is. Wowsers.

I was looking at this from a will-power perspective, not a don't eat perspective.

RCottonRPh

I think comments like this say a lot about a person's ignorance. I don't know that I'd even be insulted. Knowing that I am doing what is best for my own body is good enough. I do not need approval from the peanut gallery.

NewLIFEstyle4ME

So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
"Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?

How's about...

Girl/Dude I just love you...sounds like you need a hug and give him or her one. Then, with sincerity and finality ask him/her to/if they pray will for you about your food choices--if they don't like them or are concerned about your eating choices, then ask them how they are doing and feeling and if there is anything troubling them in their life...Trust me, that will shut up even the most smart alecky person and most always have them change the subject--it does for me anyway!

pamperedlinny

"broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

I totally need to remember this one.

Codename_Duchess

Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!

Good one! :laugh: