The dumbest diet you ever tried?

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  • SergeantSausage
    SergeantSausage Posts: 1,673 Member
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    The non-diet.

    The 25+ years of my adult life that I had no nutrition plan other than a 6-pack of beer, a carton of smokes, "where do we get the pizza from tonight?" and "who ate the g*d-damned last poptart?!?"

    That was the worst diet ever.

    Ever.

    That ended 3 years ago, 54 pounds ago, and more than 5000 run miles ago.
  • jennifershoo
    jennifershoo Posts: 3,198 Member
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    Master Cleanse. I ended up in the hospital because of it. Stupid, stupid, stupid me.
  • skinnyforcruise2013
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    I've done WW, the beet diet, Atkins (which worked until I started eating a bunch of crap again), I've been on Atkins again the past 4 weeks, I've lost 12lbs and felt good during week 2 but now I'm just done with it.

    When you start craving bananas and strawberries, it's time to put some fruit in your diet. I also am putting my whole grains back in too.

    I'm now going to use MFP to log what I eat, get some exercise in and eat things in moderation...I'm still not going to eat a bunch of sugar or high carb processed foods because I feel bad when I eat them.
  • WhiteChocolate85
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    I think I've tried them all accept HCG heard to many horror stories. But found out later that healthy lifestyle does the trick. I also like the green coffee and raspberry keatone pills simply because I don't always have a chance to eat healthy and I get bad caffeine withdrawal when I'm dieting. I drink at least 6 coffee and 3 sodas a day sometimes.... thanks 2 I work 2 part time jobs, 4 kids, 5 step kids, hubby and a dog lol
  • WhiteChocolate85
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    Bump
  • shadowofender
    shadowofender Posts: 786 Member
    edited January 2015
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    Phenphedra? I think it was called that, some variation of the stacker crap. basically it made my anxiety about a hundred times worse, my face would flush and heart race, and while it suppressed my appetite, about four hours after the second pill of the day (given the caffeine content you weren't supposed to take it in the afternoon) I'd be starving because I hadn't eaten all day.

    That's the only thing I've done becuase even at rock bottom I was lazy and not willing to try a "diet" that involved will power for crazy. I always used to think about it, but caved seriously an hour later when I thought about having to give something up. Which is probably good, because I'm being successful now. ETA: Successful now with eating like a normal person and calorie counting rather than being nuts
  • Iwishyouwell
    Iwishyouwell Posts: 1,888 Member
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    The non-diet.

    The 25+ years of my adult life that I had no nutrition plan other than a 6-pack of beer, a carton of smokes, "where do we get the pizza from tonight?" and "who ate the g*d-damned last poptart?!?"

    That was the worst diet ever.

    Ever.

    That ended 3 years ago, 54 pounds ago, and more than 5000 run miles ago.

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  • Icandoityayme
    Icandoityayme Posts: 312 Member
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    I had a friend who lost 38 lbs in 3 months by not eating anything white. No potatoes, no pasta, no white bread, no rice, nothing white. I thought I would give it a try. I didn't lose a thing that way and it was so hard to find things to eat that was filling and didn't leave me ticked off because I couldn't have so many things. Needless to say, I didn't stick to for more than 3 months. I saw her about 5 months later in some pics with her family, gained it all back and then some. I was shocked.
  • 1DEF
    1DEF Posts: 45 Member
    edited January 2015
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    phen/fen I loved that combination of drugs-I never felt hungry. I lost about 60 pounds--then they took it off the market (gained it all back and more). I later got a letter-- Apparently someone sued the manufacturer and part of the settlement was that they would pay for an ultrasound from a cardiologist to check your heart valves for damage. Mine were OK but I didn't learn anything about fad dieting. I got in the habit of giving a great deal of money to any plan or drug that came along. I needed that 3rd party to weigh me in or I wouldn't stick to anything.

    I did go, years and years ago, to a nutritionist and she said I should count calories and eat 1800 calories to boot. I thought that was way too high -- practically every diet was 1200c. --didn't matter that I was miserable on 1200. Wish I had listened to her.

    ( "Did you say bacon in everything? I just found my new diet". Jane, thanks for the laugh--that was really funny.)
  • KrisAZ000
    KrisAZ000 Posts: 76 Member
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    So many! The worst, for me, in order:

    1. Atkins. I love carbs first of all. Secondly I was a vegetarian at the time, so trying to maintain that low of carb levels without meat was ridiculous and made me extremely sick. I began losing "weight" (water) at the rate of two pounds a day, and got a terrible stomach infection and bladder infection. I ended up in the ER with heavy antibiotics and pain meds for the infections, and 4 bags of IV fluid for the severe dehydration. Dr. said most people who come to hospital specifically for dehydration only need 1-2 bags of fluid, and that due to the severity I would likely have issues for the rest of my life with very easily becoming dehydrated. He was completely right too,I have to really be careful because I get dehydrated so easily and have been to urgent care once since for IV rehydration. This was about 13 years ago, so no joke about it being a lifelong issue for me now.

    2.HCG. I mean, 500 calories a day and giving myself shots every morning is about the stupidest thing ever. This also is what led to my second round of IV rehydration, although only two bags of fluid that time. I lost 35 pounds, gained about 20 back from stress eating when my ex and I began fighting all the time, lost 15 of it again when the stress got really bad during our divorce, then gradually gained it all back in the couple years after that. It was the most restrictive, awful diet ever and it brainwashes you into thinking literally one bite of non-plan food will ruin everything. I wouldn't eat anything I hadn't prepared for myself, even refusing my boss' offer for lunch because I was afraid to even order a salad out.

    3. Master Cleanse. Maple Lemon Cayenne water tastes disgusting, and after 4 days I gave up because I was about to pass out.
  • subversive99
    subversive99 Posts: 273 Member
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    I lost (and gained back) ~80 pounds on both the Pritikin (super low calorie, almost all calories from vegetables) and Dr. Bernstein (ketogenic, super low calorie) diets several years apart. Weird how restricting your calories to under 1000 per day will make you lose weight, hey? Also weird how when you are starving for months at a time, when you fall off the wagon you fall off HARD.
  • Holla4mom
    Holla4mom Posts: 587 Member
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    Atkins "fat fast". 1000 calories, 90% from fat- I ate so many egg yolks with mayonnaise, and a tuna in oil with mayonnaise. That sounds absolutely absurd now. I actually lasted 4 whole days and lost 8 pounds. I gained it back and more of course.
  • softblondechick
    softblondechick Posts: 1,276 Member
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    Years ago I did a Weight Loss Clinic Diet, cottage cheese, salad, and broiled chicken. Ak- Mak crackers were a "treat".

    I also did Nutri- System, forget it, I want real food.

    Last year I tried Paleo, but I had dairy withdrawal. I hate almond milk, soy milk, coconut milk...I wanted real MILK!
  • krysmuree
    krysmuree Posts: 326 Member
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    I can proudly (? okay maybe not proudly haha) say I was too lazy to try all of these, but I've watched many family members and friends suffer through so many of these. Thanks for sharing your stories. <3 I'm glad you're all here on MFP now. :)
  • cottony
    cottony Posts: 109 Member
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    I tried 9 day diet,but the day before starting i could drink only water or kefir,so tehnically it was 10 day diet.
    Basically 3 days you eat boiled rice,next 3 days apples and next 3 boiled chicken breast.
    I got trough 1st day and thankfully gave up.
    Diet promised up to 20 pound weight loss.

    Saddest part-I was only 14 years old and the diet was simply awful idea.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Laurend224 wrote: »
    So so so many

    Slimfast. Only deciding I would have 3 slimfasts a day and skip the 600 cal meal.

    Atkins as a vegetarian?

    The weird one from the 90s where you eat all bananas one day, red meat the next then days of other random food groups. Or the cabbage soup diet. They may have been the same diet actually

    Or the 5:2 diet only I decided Id go for 500 cals for 5 days and not fast for 2.

    I actually lost 3 stone the 1st time I did cambridge and kept it off for a year after returning to normal eating but the next time I tried exploded and binged on everything in sight after 8 days when the realisation hit me I had months in front of me on 3 shakes a day. Didnt stop me from trying it or Slim & Save (budget online cambridge) at least 4 more times. Because clearly I dont learn fast.

    This time I am trying to get it right. I am reading and learning about nutrition and exercise. Giving myself a sensible sustainable calorie deficit, a long term goal because I cant lose it in a week and treats on a regular basis. Hoping this time it will stick but even if I derail I will come back here because I am not doing all that mental shizz ever again


    Atkins as a vegetarian? What did you eat?!
    Google: eco atkins. Its a thing. I'd do pretty well with it actually, lol.
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
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    Atkins was stupid. I know it works from some people, but can you honestly tell me that eating cream cheese blended with heavy whipping cream and bacon is better than lean meats, organic grains, and veggies? I did not do this the right way - although I shockingly did lose weight eating s-it like that, LOL.

    You can have lean meats, organic grains and veggies on Atkins too.

    Looks like you're the ten millionth person who didn't bother to actually read the entire plan before undertaking it.

    BINGO.
    Yup.
  • Laurend224
    Laurend224 Posts: 1,748 Member
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    Laurend224 wrote: »
    So so so many

    Slimfast. Only deciding I would have 3 slimfasts a day and skip the 600 cal meal.

    Atkins as a vegetarian?

    The weird one from the 90s where you eat all bananas one day, red meat the next then days of other random food groups. Or the cabbage soup diet. They may have been the same diet actually

    Or the 5:2 diet only I decided Id go for 500 cals for 5 days and not fast for 2.

    I actually lost 3 stone the 1st time I did cambridge and kept it off for a year after returning to normal eating but the next time I tried exploded and binged on everything in sight after 8 days when the realisation hit me I had months in front of me on 3 shakes a day. Didnt stop me from trying it or Slim & Save (budget online cambridge) at least 4 more times. Because clearly I dont learn fast.

    This time I am trying to get it right. I am reading and learning about nutrition and exercise. Giving myself a sensible sustainable calorie deficit, a long term goal because I cant lose it in a week and treats on a regular basis. Hoping this time it will stick but even if I derail I will come back here because I am not doing all that mental shizz ever again


    Atkins as a vegetarian? What did you eat?!
    Google: eco atkins. Its a thing. I'd do pretty well with it actually, lol.

    I just googled it. I would actually do pretty well on it too, except for potatoes. I looooooooove potatoes.
  • Marianna93637
    Marianna93637 Posts: 230 Member
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    I forgot to mention, that when I was 16, for 40 days I only ate apples and kefir (no flavor). I think I also had coffee.
    I made up this diet myself, because back then (In Hungary) the only nutritional information you would hear was eat less, and you can lose weight, or don't eat 'fattening' foods. No one I knew had any idea of what proteins and carbs really meant, how many calories we need, how much is too much or too little. Now that I think back, I can't believe we didn't know anything.

    Needless to say I didn't lose a lb :) I guess I ate enough apples and kefir to keep me at maintenance for 6 weeks.
  • VeganChristy
    VeganChristy Posts: 10 Member
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    Alli diet pills. It blocks fat digestion, so I ate something greasy & totally *kitten* my pants right in front of everyone in my family!

    Good times! :\