It's extremely hard to eat healthy when your hubby doesn't.

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My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.
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  • daisydaisy99
    daisydaisy99 Posts: 44 Member
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    For starters, there is nothing super unhealthy about a pancake, especailly if you only ate one - if you want a pancake, have a pancake - I know there are different schools of thought on here about clean eating and an all-or-nothing mentality but for most of us, that's super unrealistic! if a pancake fits into your plan and you really want it then have the damned thing!

    Of course your other option is if your husband wants pancakes and you don't want to be tempted tell him to make his own pancakes or find himself a diner - you're his wife, not a short order cook!

    I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
  • Kajay
    Kajay Posts: 6 Member
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    You have right attitude, but eating right the rest of the day. Don't limit the foods you have just limit the amount.

    Also.start thinking of food from n the terms of exercise. If you eat a pancake how much addition minutes do have to exercise to work it off. I know this helps me with my kids who want certain items like pancakes and fried potatoes.

    You are thinking right. (Start finding replacements or things can do to make the pancakes healthier)
  • AynzL
    AynzL Posts: 40
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    I know what you mean! My husband always have to have a meal with meat. I've been working on getting him to "need" less of it. He grew up farming and still does and I think it comes along with the meals he grew up on. I also have a 2 year old so I feel like I need to make things he's willing to eat that are also healthy. I try to keep my breakfast and lunch under control. My husband leaves about 7 am so I eat after he leaves. I'm a stay at home mom so I can eat lunch at home. But supper is what I struggle with when he's home and I feel like I need to cook him a big meal. My husband also has a really fast metabolism and can eat anything he wants without thinking twice about it. I think he's starting to understand how much more I have to watch what I eat and is starting to support our new meals a little more. Good luck! I don't have any advice but wanted to share that you're not the only one!

    I was also going to add that when I was doing weight watchers I saw how many points syrup was so now I buy the sugar free. But my sister did a weight loss program through her health insurance which provided her meals for 12 weeks and they would make them pancakes topped with yogurt and fruit instead of the syrup.
  • rekite2000
    rekite2000 Posts: 218 Member
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    My husband hears, "if you want it, make it yourself" a lot!
  • nicola1141
    nicola1141 Posts: 613 Member
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    Why do you have to cook it for him? DH eats a lot of crap, but I don't cook it for him.

    When he's having something particularly yummy that I'll want for dinner, I try to make myself a salad to eat first, then have a smaller portion. It's been taking some work on my part not to over-indulge, but it's slowly happening.

    I've also been trying to find meals that he'll eat that are still healthier. He really likes my turkey burgers now, pasta sauce (I'll just have smaller portion of the pasta with lots of sauce), salmon.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.

    sounds like a handy excuse to me.... instead of doing any hard work, blame the husband!
  • redhead1910
    redhead1910 Posts: 304 Member
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    It can always work the other way. If your husband wants yuo to make him breakfast, tell him he can have whatever you are having or he can make his own food. Maybe your healthy habits will rub off on him and do him some good!
  • jqh23
    jqh23 Posts: 311 Member
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    Have you tried sipping your smoothie while cooking the pancake?

    Or moving him over to buckwheat pancakes with fruit rather than a standard box mix or white flour homemade version (if that is what you are using?)

    I slowly started cooking with cleaner ingredients to get my husband used to them and now he can't even eat the other stuff.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    First of all, you are not responsible for what your husband eats, and he is not responsible for what you eat.

    Secondly, you can make pancakes that are lower in calories and better for you if you choose to do so. I've seen quite a few people here making pancakes with bananas and egg whites, and there are loads of recipes for protein powder pancakes. Try some of them out.

    Finally, you need to take responsibility for what you put into your own body and what you tell yourself. If you keep telling yourself "I have no willpower" you won't. I have a good start to the weight I want to lose because I haven't denied myself any food. There is no food for me that is off limits - I simply choose to eat well and do not choose to eat junk. It's not "I can't have that" it's "I choose not to have that." YOU are in control of your weight, gain or loss.
  • Jackson4590
    Jackson4590 Posts: 145 Member
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    Don't cook him breakfast? Hand him a protein bar instead. Maybe he'll get the hint.
  • SweetestLibby
    SweetestLibby Posts: 607 Member
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    My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.

    sounds like a handy excuse to me.... instead of doing any hard work, blame the husband!

    My thoughts exactly. Nobody but you can completely control the food you put in your mouth. Just because it's there or you cooked it does not mean you have to eat it.

    I'm not married but I live with 2 roommates. One is a baker - she's 117 lbs soaking wet and LOVES to bake new things. There is ALWAYS some kind of cookie, cake, cupcake, homemade bread, etc in our kitchen for any one who wants it. I still managed to lose a decent portion of my 100 lbs lost while living with her. I learned that there is always going to be temptation but it's up to you to deal with it!
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet.

    I would just like to point out the idiocracy of this statement.

    You're more than capable of not eating that morning pancake. Although I would also like to point out if eating breakfast is something that you and your husband enjoy doing together and you both enjoy pancakes there's no reason you can't enjoy a morning pancake with your husband. Just make sure your in a calorie deficit at the end of the day.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Don't cook him breakfast? Hand him a protein bar instead. Maybe he'll get the hint.

    How on earth is a protein bar any better than a pancake?
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    double post
  • NutellaAddict
    NutellaAddict Posts: 1,258 Member
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    For starters, there is nothing super unhealthy about a pancake, especailly if you only ate one - if you want a pancake, have a pancake - I know there are different schools of thought on here about clean eating and an all-or-nothing mentality but for most of us, that's super unrealistic! if a pancake fits into your plan and you really want it then have the damned thing!

    Of course your other option is if your husband wants pancakes and you don't want to be tempted tell him to make his own pancakes or find himself a diner - you're his wife, not a short order cook!

    I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!

    Yes. Also, who says you can't change out ingredients in the pancake to make it "better" for both of you?
  • SlimmingSarah2012
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    Offer to make your husband whatever you are making for yourself, a green smoothie....if he doesn't want that, he's on his own. You aren't a make-to-order cook!
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    Also, you can work pretty much anything into your daily allowance. Work the pancake into your daily allowance and move on.

    You certainly can make pancakes for your family and not eat any - I can do it, and you can too. My kids love pancakes. I make them, butter them, put syrup on them and serve them to the kids. I don't eat any because I choose not to spend my hard-earned calories on something that is going to leave me hungry an hour later. While I'm making them pancakes, I'm hard-boiling some eggs for myself and cutting up some fresh fruit. We can eat together and have exactly what we want. No deprivation, no failure, just a nice, family breakfast.
  • sugboog29
    sugboog29 Posts: 630 Member
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    My hubby loves popcorn and eats it every night and I make it for him (old skillet and olive oil). Now popcorn is one of my weaknesses, but I don't allow myself to indulge often. It was a long hard process, but it can be done. He knows it is hard and will very rarely ask me to make it for him, but I know he loves it and I have learned the willpower not to eat bowls at a time. You have to set your mind to it and just do it! Yes, I do let myself have some occasionally, but I do not eat it anywhere near as much as I used to. I allow myself 2-3 cups and that is it..no more.

    I do agree, you can't blame you husband for you eating the pancake. Either eat your breakfast before you fix for him, or let him fix it himself. Yes, I make my husbands popcorn but other than that he eats what I fix or fixes his own.
  • Lyerin
    Lyerin Posts: 818 Member
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    Don't cook him breakfast? Hand him a protein bar instead. Maybe he'll get the hint.

    How on earth is a protein bar any better than a pancake?

    I think she was saying that the OP should hand him something "ready to eat" to emphasize that she is not his short order cook. I don't think it was a push for protein bars over pancakes.
  • affacat
    affacat Posts: 216 Member
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    practice your will power.
    i don't mean to sound harsh, but seriously, if you can walk into a bakery with your husband, watch him eat a piece of cake, and then walk out happy you didn't blow your diet.... you're gonna be fine. same with that pancake. don't blame him. he may or may not be part of the issue, but ultimately it doesn't matter -- it's your willpower that does or does not fail. it's your choice to eat something you don't 'really' want to.

    never say 'i don't have the willpower' not to do something. just don't do it. if you undermine yourself, if you under value yourself, if you make excuses for yourself.... then yea, it's really not your husbands fault, because if it's not his pancake, then it's a coworkers donut, or a store's free sample.

    become the person that can make something for your hubby w/o eating any. be proud of that. make it a mark of honor. because if you can accomplish that, meeting your weight loss goals will be easy.